back to article Happy ending for Kettering as soapy veteran replaces Mean Girl Lindsay

Kettering has drafted in EastEnders veteran Cheryl Fergison to turn on the town for Christmas – after abandoning hopes of child-star-turned-adult-car-crash Lindsay Lohan following through on her post-Brexit promise to light up Northamptonshire. Lohan made the pledge after dissing the home of Weetabix in the course of her all- …

  1. Locky

    FIGHT!

    Well I like Cheryl Fergison.

    And I like Lindsay Lohan.

    But who's better at pressing a big button in Kettering?

    There's only one way to find out...

  2. Alan Sharkey

    Why?

    What has his got to do with anything technolgy related?

    1. Alister

      Re: Why?

      What has his got to do with anything technolgy related?

      Ok, first, it doesn't have to, the article is in Bootnotes.

      Second, the story involves Lindsay Lohan, who has a long history of involvement with El Reg's Special Project Bureau (RIP Lester).

      Third, it involves turning on Christmas Lights, which is obviously a technical function, and a post on Twitter, which is an IT angle.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Why?

        Fourth, it involves pushing a button. A big one, even.

        :)

        1. Stuart 18
          Joke

          Re: Why?

          ...Or... A big one pushing a button!

          Before I get offended down votes "big one" infers celebrity or star as opposed to what was just flushed down the loo.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Why?

      Most importantly The Register's trend-tracking story generator - Zeitgeist Surfer 2015 - positively weights any story that generates "buzz" in the form of user comments so that a single "why is this on El Reg?" comment will increase the likelihood of another, similar, story by about 36% while 5 posts reiterating or debating the question pretty much guarantee a week-long Lohan festival.

      You did this.

      You.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There should be a picture. I have no idea what a Cheryl Ferguson is.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      There should be a picture. I have no idea what a Cheryl Ferguson is.

      ./()\

      |()()|

      ../ \

      That's all I can manage, it being Monday and post lunch.

  4. CustardGannet

    "the home of Weetabix"

    Aha, so that's what happens in Kettering. The denizens of Oldham must be green with envy (for those who have never had the, er, pleasure of passing through, the town has a large railway bridge which for many years sported the slogan : "Welcome to Oldham - the home of the tubular bandage !")

  5. James 36

    Optional

    the home of Weetabix is Burton Latimer isn't it not Kettering.

    I have relatives who live there and the Weetabix factory is on the left as you drive in

    https://www.google.co.uk/maps/place/Burton+Latimer/@52.3639646,-0.6962008,3a,66.8y,345.12h,87.56t/data=!3m4!1e1!3m2!1sYfP7yZLKy1UGllcQ2YfSDQ!2e0!4m2!3m1!1s0x487798a6b1b7542d:0x50e1ca8bbc31250

    1. David_H
      Facepalm

      Re: Optional

      And you can smell it from the A14 :-)

      (Obvious use of the nose icon!)

    2. Vic

      Re: Optional

      the home of Weetabix is Burton Latimer isn't it not Kettering.

      Weetabix has[1] a plant in Kettering, but it doesn't produce any Weetabix. That, as you say, is all done in Burton Latimer.

      Vic.

      [1] Used to, anyway. I haven't been there for a couple of decades...

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon