back to article You call it 'hacking.' I call it 'investigation'

Here's a photo of what I had for lunch! Amazing!!! No it isn't amazing. It's your lunch. You gotta see the new 4k TV I bought today! Thanks for giving me a fascinating, if cursive, inventory of your consumer durables. Took Jonesy out for his walk and he chased a rabbit. Nice to have your pet's name. Could be useful. 28 …

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  1. chivo243 Silver badge

    "a bit of a loner"

    Just call me Leonard "Lenny" Kosnowski...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I assumed the first video was going to be Turning Japanese by The Vapours.

  3. Franco

    As I have posted here before, I have actually been accused in an interview (for an IT Security job) of having something to hide due to my very small online footprint.

    If I buy a pizza, it's to eat it. Not take pictures of it. Nor do I have any interest in other people pretending how great their life is compared to mine by the stream of selfies they post in "exotic" locations.

    1. Warm Braw

      having something to hide due to my very small online footprint

      Well, you know what they say: small feet...

  4. Novex

    We're pretty much screwed anyway. Even if I try to take care where my personal information is held and that it isn't easy to get at, as long as someone else needs it and chooses to store it on Arsebook or Groogle, I can't stop a hacker getting it second-hand.

    When it comes to authentication with banks, we are asked to give them information so 'they know who they are talking to', but they seem resolute not to let us as consumers have the same confidence in them. Where's the password or memorable information I can ask for the first, fifth and eighth character from that they have to remember so that I know they aren't some scammer?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Counter productive

      "... ask for the first, fifth and eighth character from that ..."

      It's easier to remember the entire password than it is the nth character. So how many people end up writing down their password just so they can work out which random characters to enter this time?

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Counter productive

        '"... ask for the first, fifth and eighth character from that ..."

        It's easier to remember the entire password than it is the nth character.'

        No need to write it down. The first character is 1, the fifth is 5 and the eighth is 8....

      2. David Nash Silver badge

        Re: Counter productive

        "It's easier to remember the entire password than it is the nth character"

        Not after 20 years with First Direct. I can tell them any "nth" character without thinking.

        1. John Tserkezis

          Re: Counter productive

          "Not after 20 years with First Direct. I can tell them any "nth" character without thinking."

          So you haven't changed your passphrase for 20 years?

          Good to know.

          1. Remy Redert

            Re: Counter productive

            Is there any way for them to verify the Nth character of the password without having the password stored in the clear somewhere? If so, is there any point changing the password regularly when it's being stored in the clear on the bank's side and thus available for hackers anyways?

      3. Mudslinger

        Re: Counter productive

        and when your online password is the same as your customer service password and not encrypted (yes pluusnet, I'm looking at you)...

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      "When it comes to authentication with banks... they seem resolute not to let us as consumers have the same confidence in them."

      I have had several phone conversations initiated, supposedly by HSBC, the then bankers for my then business which never got beyond my telling the caller I didn't believe they were from HSBC because they [cw]ouldn't prove it.

      1. tfewster

        Re: HSBC

        Strange, as a personal customer and a few arguments about them proving who they were first, they found a way:

        "Our records say you were born on the nth day of the month; Could you confirm which month?"

        or

        "You have a standing order set up to $COMPANY. Can you tell me approximately how much it is for?"

        1. G7mzh

          Re: HSBC

          I used to work for a large credit company in their call centre; when we called people we were supposed to just ask for a couple of details to confirm that the person who answered the phone was who we wanted to speak to, but in practice we generally (unofficially) used a similar system - "I see you live in NW1, what's the rest of the postcode?" and so forth. If the person at the other end wasn't who we wanted, we hadn't given anything away.

          If they insisted, we asked them to call the number on their card.

      2. Allan George Dyer

        It isn't working...

        When a bank asks me for my DoB to verify my identity, I've taken to demanding that they send me a birthday present at the appropriate time. Sadly, this hasn't resulted in an increase in the number of presents I receive.

      3. GrapeBunch

        Ha ha. In long ago more innocent days, I got a call from an HSBC rep who suggested a better pigeon hole (still within HSBC of course) for some dosh. After a lot of discussion (she needed to convince me!), I agreed. Then she asked for whatever the security was at the time. "But you called me!" So the call and discussion turned out to be pointless. Hmm, maybe HSBC could corporately sponsor the TV quiz game, Pointless.

      4. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        > didn't believe they were from HSBC because they [cw]ouldn't prove it.

        Yup - I've had those:

        [Telephone noise}

        >Hello, COCM here.

        "This is [your bank] - we would like to discuss stuff with you. But first, we need to determine if it's really you".

        >Can you prove you are from [your bank]? For example, can you tell me the last two digits of my bank account number? Can you tell me what the largest deposit (oo-er!) was in the last month?"

        "No - because we can't be sure that you are you. You could be not-you!".

        >Indeed. Same applies.

        "But, but - we're the BANK! We wouldn't lie to you!"

        >Cough, splutter, goodbye.

        [Cue telephone cutoff noises and queries from Mrs COCM about who I was speaking to. She seems to be nicely learning paranoia^W caution from me..]

    3. TheTor

      @Novex

      Santander online banking does, dunno about others. When you register, you pick a phrase, and picture that they show to you each time you login (after entering your personal customerId, before entering your username/password).

      1. cambsukguy

        And, in case you did not know, like me, Santander do the 2nd, 5th, 8th thing too now, but only for new customers it seemed.

        I noticed when my boy logged in. So I asked Santander if I could have the better log in please. They then just enrolled me (by sending a letter with the first part of the sequence).

        So now they have:

        1. Customer ID, you can set this how you wish but they give you a large number to start with. It is visible and not meant to really be secret.

        2. A picture and phrase, not really sure how this works, it always shows the same ones, I don't have to select them except when I chose them. I presume that, when another computer is used, they ask you to choose the correct ones.

        3. Selected characters from a password.

        4. Selected digits from a pass number.

        5. Answers to rather more complex questions than Mother's maiden name (for which I use a made up name BTW, why wouldn't you? just pick a movie star, anything reasonably memorable, they are not going to guess it in the tries available).

        Also, despite not wanting someone to see your bank account contents, taking the money requires a new transfer and this *does* require 2FA so it has additional security.

        Note: some years ago, someone called my bank using telephone banking and managed to enrol themselves into the new telephone banking security system and empty my account because, apparently, Santander had added secure telephone banking but did not require letters or on-line use before allowing it to be used. I had no idea it even existed since using the telephone to bank is as old-fashioned to me as using an abacus to calculate. This may be why Santander have a slightly superior system now. Yes, they did refund me and added £200 on top for my trouble.

        My view is that I prefer 2FA, despite the article, Russian hackers cannot easily steal my phone. If a phone is stolen and then hackers are informed so they can then use the 2FA, the time expired will almost certainly be enough to prevent access, especially when a phone is locked, I could probably remotely wipe it before they accessed it. As for hacking my phone while I have it, even less likely given the phone OS I use.

        Basically, you call the bank first when compromised, email accounts etc. pale in importance. I also know my phone isn't stolen when I log in to something like PayPal so the 2FA feels useful and very hard to defeat. My MS/cloud account is the same, first the password must be guessed and then the 2FA must be defeated, difficult; then you get to see my photographs and some invoices etc., not really worth it.

        I would feel hugely better if the Bank used 2FA on top of all the other stuff, simply because I find it very easy to use.

        It would be even cooler if they used the authenticator app system, already present, no text needed. But, being banks, they would have to have their own.

        1. NotBob

          Some banks use the picture as a way of identifying themselves to you. If you see the wrong picture, you either have the wrong account or it isn't actually your bank.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Tesco bank do that ( I have one of their credit cards ). I typed in the wrong username once and I got the wrong picture - I was quite confused at first.

            It did occur to me though, a phishing site would just proxy this image to their site. It doesn't add any security at all.

        2. Captain DaFt

          My ID setup with the bank is simple

          If they need to contact me, they send me a letter.*

          I show up, show my driver's license and bank card.

          Then we discuss things face to face.

          I see no need to change things.

          *Yes, snail mail.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: My ID setup with the bank is simple

            "If they need to contact me, they send me a letter.*

            I show up, show my driver's license and bank card.

            Then we discuss things face to face.

            I see no need to change things.

            *Yes, snail mail."

            My bank is open Monday to Friday 9am-4.30pm.

            My working week is Monday to Friday 9am-5.30pm.

            This is extremely inconvenient. Even sorting out a mortgage necessitated taking a half day off.

            I do believe that in the big cities banks open on a Saturday morning! With the associated parking costs visiting a big city entails, or trying to work out which buses are actually running from and to the sticks on a weekend morning.

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        "you pick a phrase, and picture that they show to you each time you login"

        The issue here isn't logging in online (and, BTW what you describe online wouldn't prevent a man in the middle attack) it's about banks being able to prove their ID when they call you.

    4. IsJustabloke
      Facepalm

      "Where's the password or memorable information I can ask for the first, fifth and eighth character from that they have to remember so that I know they aren't some scammer?"

      I agree... I'm bored with having this conversation..

      Caller: can you tell me the 2nd and 3rd letters of your password?

      me: yes I can.

      Caller: Er...

      me: you called me, how do I know you are who say you are?

      Caller: well, if you pass security I can tell you what's its about.

      me: you called me.

      caller: you can ring this number... 083545473839

      me: *YOU* called me , why should I trust any number you give me?

      caller: but I'm from your bank!

      me: then prove it! You tell me what credentials you've got and I'll tell you if they're correct

      caller: I can't do that because of security

      me: Oh well.. bye then.

      1. cambsukguy

        They really should have a free number advertised on their bank site for you to call them when needed.

        Or just say that there is a secure message waiting for you on the bank account, like my bank does.

        I can't recall the last time my bank called me, it has been at least a decade.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Or just say that there is a secure message waiting for you on the bank account, like my bank does.

          Dear cambsukguy,

          A New Secure Message Is Waiting For You. Click The Link To View.

          http://secureserver.yourbank.example.com/images/dodgyscript.php?id=123456

          Regards,

          Your Bank

          1. cambsukguy

            Obviously, you have no secure messaging with your bank, or don't use it.

            I was discussing a real, in use, system. It is not too complicated and works like this (you were close, but not close enough).

            From: pleasedonotreply@your.bank.co.uk

            To: your.address@your.email.com

            You have received a secure message.

            ...Followed by truly insane amounts of boilerplate disclaimer/registered addresses etc.

            I suppose actually saying 'Don't click anything in this message' would be pointless because that text might just be removed in a phishing email.

            This is a useful system obviating the need to keep checking on the site to see if they answered one's question.

            1. Squander Two

              > I suppose actually saying 'Don't click anything in this message' would be pointless because that text might just be removed in a phishing email.

              No, it gets users into the habit of seeing that message and so expecting that from their bank, which increases the likelihood of alarm bells ringing when it's not there. Although, personally, I don't think banks have done anything like enough to instill this lesson. There should've been primetime TV ads for the last decade just saying "Hi. This is a message from every single bank in the UK. We will never ever ever send any of our customers an email with a link in it. If you get an email with a link in it, it's not from us, and you should never click it."

              I've had the "But you called me!" argument with First Direct a couple of times -- except it wasn't an argument, as they just said "Sure, no problem. Call us on the usual number and ask to be put through to my department." Since they (unlike some) answer the phone dead quickly, not a problem.

        2. el_oscuro

          "I can't recall the last time my bank called me, it has been at least a decade."

          I get calls all the time - one from "Dept of Justice" with the guy being very threatening, saying I could be prosecuted if I didn't pay the fine. Official looking caller ID and all, scary as shit. I looked up the number and it was a Majic Jack number from San Bernadino. Somehow I didn't think it was the real DOJ.

          The government doesn't call you anyway, they send mail. And if it is really nasty, the summons is delivered by the sheriff. But scammers use mail too. I once got something official from the "Department of Commerce" with a return address of 2000 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington DC NW, about 4 blocks from the White House. So I looked it up and it was a shopping center.

      2. macjules

        Yes, it still perplexes me that BT would want to outsource their IT security to Nigeria. I told the nice gentleman when he called to tell me that unfortunately BT had given my computer a virus that I was sure that I had only just spoken to one of his colleagues last week from somewhere in India. He even said the same thing, that there was an error with credit card details I had given him to 'fix' my computer and so he would have to send me a virus help file in order to resolve the problem. For some odd reason his help file was blocked by my anti-virus scanner: I wonder why.

    5. salamamba too

      Security questions

      my bank got this message when I kept refusing to give them information on the phone to identify myself, as I had no evidence who they were. As a result, I get virtually no sales calls, and we came to an arrangement re identification.

      As regards security questions, you don't use your mum's real maiden name do you? I never have.

      1. Franco

        Re: Security questions

        <snip> when I kept refusing to give them information on the phone to identify myself</snip>

        I once applied for a job, and when the recruitment company called me they asked me to verify my postcode to prove my identity. I pointed out to them that the postcode they had for me came from the same CV that had my phone number, so if I wasn't who I claimed to be I would already have falsified the data they had. This put them in to stack overflow, repeat question until answered no matter how stupid the question is, at which point I decided that if they were this bad about just speaking to me the job description was bound to be gibberish too and gave up.

      2. yoganmahew

        Re: Security questions

        @salamamba too

        "As regards security questions, you don't use your mum's real maiden name do you? I never have."

        I did, but it got hacked, so I've had to dump her and get another mum. Right pain that was. The dog was really put out too. And it was such a hard letter to write to my favourite teacher to tell him I'd chosen another. I'm still working out how to replace my fingerprints... I think I can get new ones each month, at least until they rot.

        1. el_oscuro
          Alert

          Re: Security questions

          Those "security questions" aren't. They are really just passwords that are usually stored in the database in clear text. Hackers don't look your mums name from public records, as they probably don't know who you actually are. They just get SQLi on some crappy website and dump the database. Then they know what answers you use for those questions and can pwn you on other websites.

          For anything important,, I use keepassx to manage my passwords and have a script to generate answers for those questions from /dev/random. I store the answers in keepass along with the questions so I never have to remember anything.

          1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

            Re: script to generate answers

            Mr Oscuro, are you sure your mother's maiden name is xty6t3rm#8yt ?

        2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Security questions

          > I'm still working out how to replace my fingerprints...

          Become a tree-surgeon or a bricklayer. You'll soon have no fingerprints left..

      3. tony2heads

        Re: Security questions about mother's name

        I couldn't because it is Irish and starts with an " O' "

        Their software could not accept " ' " as it wanted letters only.

        I suspect it would have the same problem in South Africa where some names include " ! " for the click sounds.

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: mum's real maiden name

        "As regards security questions, you don't use your mum's real maiden name do you?"

        I wonder how people with the same current surname as their mother's maiden name get on. Are they allowed to use the same name twice? Or are they viewed by security personnel as "awkward bastards"?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: mum's real maiden name

          "I wonder how people with the same current surname as their mother's maiden name get on. Are they allowed to use the same name twice? Or are they viewed by security personnel as "awkward bastards"?"

          I once knew someone who had recently got a dog and used his mums maiden name as it's name.

          He signed up for online banking:

          - Memorable name:

          $maidendog

          - Pet's name:

          $maidendog

          - Mother's maiden name:

          $maidendog

  5. Gene Cash Silver badge

    Meh, don't use your real info

    So I just don't use my real info in those "What is your spouse's name?" type of questions.

    And yes, once I got asked how I had a "spouse's name" since I wasn't married, according to the rest of their info.

    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Meh, don't use your real info

      As my answer to those questions tend to revolve around some variant of "f$ck off!", "get nicked" or "pi$$ off". People probably think I really didn't like getting given a dog as a kid...

  6. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

    Meh to all of this tomfoolery with security tokens, 2FA, and all that shizzly stuff.

    What'll they ask for next? Biometric ID of your anus?

    1. chivo243 Silver badge

      @Anonymous South African Coward

      Colon scan... is the correct terminology ;-}

      1. Ben1892

        I knew I'd been doing it wrong - I thought it said RECTANAL scan, no wonder I've been getting funny looks trying to get onto the secure floor at work

        1. macjules

          +1 for the belly laugh I've been needing all week.

    2. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      Biometric ID of your anus?

      Look no further.

  7. Warm Braw

    Please keep your biometric nettles away from my arse

    One of the concepts that seems to be missing from "security" considerations of online systems is that of proportionality. That means, of course, that the security of access should be proportionate to the risk of unauthorised access - but conversely, that high-risk systems probably shouldn't depend entirely on online credentials because high-stakes attackers are inevitable and requiring them to post a letter or turn up in person is one of the most effective ways of thwarting brute-force or large-scale attacks.

    Online access to my credit card account used to be fairly low risk, because all anyone could usefully do if they gained access was to pay my bill for me. Now any unauthorised user can change my registered email address, home address, access my credit score and do a whole bunch of other things that might threaten my financial security.

    The solution to his is not to add biometric complexity so that I can continue to use the one low-risk function I've ever needed (to pay my bills) but to allow me to remove access to the higher-risk functions I don't want.

    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Go

      Re: Please keep your biometric nettles away from my arse

      But then the banks would have to actually keep branches open rather then shutting them down and pocketing the profit of outsourcing everything. We cant allow that sort of thinking to happen!

      1. Warm Braw

        Re: Please keep your biometric nettles away from my arse

        the banks would have to actually keep branches open

        Not that this wouldn't be a good idea, but banks do (for the moment) have large networks of ATMs. It wouldn't be impossible to arrange that if you want to do something potentially risky - like change your address or transfer a large amount of money - that you have to visit a nominated machine and present your bank card. Might help Mr. D. keep off those lost kilograms, too.

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