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Drama in orbit: Brazen UFO attacks Earth's Sentinel-1A satellite

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As you all know

I only come here for the headlines.

Also, if it was some leftover bit of scrap from the formation of the solar system, can a more religious person have a quiet word with one of your gods and get him to clean the place up a bit?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: As you all know

clean the place up a bit?

No! $DEITY likes it this way.

Next target: Bulldogs being promenaded in New York.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: As you all know

Everything was just as it should have been until one man's free will resulted in putting an artificial satellite in it's way. It all started with that snake tricking Eve into eating from the tree of knowledge - the whole universe has been in chaos ever since !! :-)

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I wonder how much extra debris was created by the impact?

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Joke

UFO Sex

This is how UFOs reproduce...

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Try not to think about the ping pong balls and mousetraps...

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Only a matter of time for the avalanche-effect to get triggered. I was expecting it when the Chinese blew up their own satellite, but we were lucky there. So far, anyway...

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Black Helicopters

Hmm

How long before they blame it on a drone?

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Don't touch my junk!

It was only a matter of time before the orbiting junk yard trashed something.

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Is Sandra Bullock OK?

The documentary she made about space junk was terrifying.

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Re: Is Sandra Bullock OK?

Being the selfless individual that I am, I volunteer to check her out.

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Re: Is Sandra Bullock OK?

It's a good job she wasn't on board, or it would have been a total write-off.

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Just a minor fender bender...

A bit of paint, a bit of body putty and it'll be fine. It's the towing bill back to the shop that will be a bit pricey.

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Re: Just a minor fender bender...

Yeah, that will buff right out; no problem.

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Holmes

The Westford needles, aha, strike again...

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Meh, tis but a scratch, it's just a flesh wound!

Bit of T-Cut will get that out!

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Mushroom

"just one of the many pieces of debris left over from the formation of the Solar System"

See, it's natural to leave crap just floating around.

Off to tell SWMBO that it goes against nature to tidy things up - wish me luck!

Expected response ----------------------------------------------------->

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Re: "just one of the many pieces of debris left over from the formation of the Solar System"

Don't worry, the universe has your back:

"all spontaneous systems tend in the direction of increasing entropy"

As tidying up therefore clearly violates the Second Law*, it'd best not be done.

*NB: that's the Second Law of Thermodynamics, not this one: "A man must obey orders given it by its SWMBO except where such orders would conflict with the First Law",

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Re: "just one of the many pieces of debris left over from the formation of the Solar System"

As Homer Simpson once said: "In this house we obey the laws of entropy!"

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UFO

SID *would not have been caught so unawares.

*Space Intruder Detector

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TRT
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Re: UFO

It's a beautification campaign. I dare say you need it Alec.

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Boffin

Whaa?

"Because only objects greater than about 5 cm [2 in] can usually be tracked and, thus, avoided by maneuvering the satellites,"

That's amazing, how do you track something 5cm across from 435 miles away looking through an atmosphere?

I genuinely want to know.

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Mostly radar AFAIK

And "tracking" is a slight exaggeration - once the orbit is characterised then you've got pretty reliable predictions of where it will be found in the near future, unless it's low enough to be much affected by atmospheric drag, in which case it will quite soon cease to be an orbital hazard.

Sci-fi depictions like "The Empire Strikes Back" get the notion of a buzzing swarm of objects into your head, but space really is very very big, even normalised against trips to the chemist's. If the 500,000 tracked pieces are spread evenly across low orbits (400km up) then there's 1500 square kilometres of space for each piece. Of course they aren't spread evenly, but neither are they all in low orbits. So the gaps between them are likely enough for radars to resolve.

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Anonymous Coward

"Spot the difference"

oh oh oh oh! I found it, I found it, there's a big red arrow on the second one! Do I get a prize?

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Trollface

An errant apostrophe in the wild

Passing 'postrophe punctures panel, perplexed public panics.

I saw one of these in a post and I think it's a reasonable assumption that this was in fact the final resting place for it - and it's certainly a relief that we now have photographic evidence of the source of the insidiously invasive insertion of alien apostrophes that we don't normally see until it's too late, i.e. at the grocer's's'.

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Mushroom

It's not the time yet ...

... but whenever I hear of collision in Earth orbit, I start thinking "Kessler syndrome". Icon appropriate for severity.

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Coat

Was just the ship from Independance Day

Only, some idiot named Kryton was playing with a DNA re-sequencing machine he and his mates found in a derelict ship...

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Coat

Not a UFO

Surely, UFO is the acronym for "Unidentified Flying Object".

This wasn't flying - it can't, it's in space.

I propose UOO: "Unidentified Orbiting Object"

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