back to article Bees bring down US stealth fighter

In June, the US Air Force had to call on an apiarist for help after more than 20,000 bees swarmed at the exhaust of an F-22 Raptor. The incident has just come to light, courtesy of a USAF media release that says the bees were found in the “exhaust nozzle of an F-22 Raptor engine following flight operations at Joint Base …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    From the article I gather that they didn't "bring it down", the plane had already landed. Seems a logical place to swarm too, if you're a bee. Must be nice and warm right after a flight.

    Good thing they decided to recolate the bees. We sorely need them to keep up biodiversity and to prevent food prices from skyrocketing.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      that they didn't "bring it down"

      Depends on interpretation - the fighter was taken out of operations until the stray swarm was collected and taken care of. So while it was already down, it also remained down.

      1. Mark 85

        @Voland's Right Hand

        I'm not sure why you got downvoted. In the military (US at least) a "downed" aircraft is one that is unavailable to fly. Causes are usually mechanical, electrical, hydraulic, computer, or in this case.. bees.

    2. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: "bring it down"

      How about "Exhausted Bees swarm warm Exhaust"?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Meh

        Re: "bring it down"

        Were there any drones in the swarm? Drones being a particular hazard to aircraft.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "bring it down"

        "Airmen excited by buzzing at the back door"?

        "flyers fortunate, saved by a sucking off"?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "bring it down"

        Ummm. How about a free lesson from the universe? Kill bees, kill food production, kill the unwashed...

        Maybe the bees are trying to tell us something? Or is that just too silly?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Good thing they decided to recolate the bees

      I agree, although I had to put the characters in the right place again to parse that line ("recolate" initially *sounds* plausible, but I recon you meant "relocate" :).

      Bees are an incredible valuable resource so I'm glad that, for once, someone was smart with nature.

      1. Phil W

        To the best of my recolation...

        Despite the fact it was almost certainly an error, given that the bees were together in space, separated during removal and then presumably put together (colated, in a sense) into a proper hive, they were both relocated and recolated.

    4. Camilla Smythe

      Trump Would Disagree..

      Good thing they decided to recolate the bees. We sorely need them to keep up biodiversity and to prevent food prices from skyrocketing.

    5. Wensleydale Cheese
      Coat

      Stealth fighter

      Perhaps the bees didn't see it coming

  2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Brings a new meaning to

    'Buzzing' the enemy

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Re: Brings a new meaning to

      This is a story with a real sting in it's tail.

    2. Crisp

      Re: Brings a new meaning to

      You two need to beehive yourselves! There's no need to keep droning on with puns...

  3. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    "Apiraist" - word of the day, definitely. Had to look that one up* and even found an alternative: "apiculturist".

    * On the small screen and without my reading glasses it looked like " a pianist" initially. That didn't make any sense, so I looked into it.

    1. ShadowDragon8685

      Well, at least the old chap retired in style - Holmesian style.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Apiarist" is an even better word of the day.

    3. Robert Helpmann??
      Childcatcher

      Apiraist

      My dad is a apiraist. I live further down the chain as a mead maker. The world would be a much poorer place without the honey bee.

      1. Rick594

        Re: Apiraist

        Or the mead maker

  4. Banksy
    Headmaster

    I'm covered in bees!

    Do Raptors eat bees or not?

    1. x 7

      Re: I'm covered in bees!

      Have you never heard of the Honey Buzzard - Pernis apivorus?

      Though actually they prefer eatings wasp nests

  5. NorthernCoder
    Coat

    Perhaps...

    ...the bees thought it was an F/A-18 Hornet?

  6. Baldy50

    628dirtrooster

    I'm glad they relocated the swarm, you can see how it's done by this American enthusiast bee keeper and on one occasion three swarms in one go out of trees.

    By using queens that he takes with him they even after getting knocked from quite a height they just get into the boxes the queen is in.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    It's all a cover story...

    To conceal the F-22 being disabled in wargames versus the supersecret new Bee-20000!!!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It's all a cover story...

      No, they're just covering up that they want to bring back the FBee-22.

  8. ShadowDragon8685

    Prolly a good thing they did, all told. Standard military reaction would have been to just gas/torch the lot and have the janitor sweep up the mess.

    1. Lobrau

      I suspect one doesn't use such destructive methods around a $138m aircraft when there are gentler means available.

      I take your meaning though. Glad that sense prevailed and the bees were relocated to pollinate another day.

  9. Adam 1

    > she landed on the F-22 to rest

    She was hanging around for the F-35 JSF but exhaustion set in due to another overrun.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      But not just ANY F35, she was waiting for the F35B.

      Its Monday, this is the best I can come up with, try me again tomorrow.

      1. Adam 1

        Absolutely. Bee related puns are encouraged. You win one internet. Unfortunately, you immediately lost it after failing to use an apostrophe to indicate a contraction. Such behaviour must not go unpunished or society may tear itself apart at the seams.

  10. TheProf
    Unhappy

    Sucker

    "Westrich used vacuum hoses to trap the bees"

    I use my vacuum cleaner to 'relocate' spiders.

    Brrrrr spiders.

    1. harmjschoonhoven
      Happy

      Re: Brrrrr spiders.

      @TheProf: Spiders are at least as useful as predators as bees are as pollinators and (except a number of Australian species) quite harmless to human beings.

      A Zebra spider (Salticus scenicus, a common jumping spider) will actually look back at you with blue eyes and red eyelashes, when you take a close look - so cute.

      1. nichomach
        WTF?

        Re: Brrrrr spiders.

        Your idea of "cute" indicates an urgent need for an alienist!

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wonder if...

    This has anything to do with using radar to track bees?

    http://beetime.eu/inside-of-tracking-honey-bee/

    Who is so stealthy now?

  12. Peter Clarke 1
    Coat

    Old Joke

    Did they collect their waste to fuel the aircraft- everyone knows vehicles run better on BeePee

    Coat, exit, now

  13. MAF
    Joke

    New weaponry

    Air Force to try out their new generation of Stinger missiles...

    1. Soruk
      Joke

      Re: New weaponry

      Now trying to make a social media buzz.

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: New weaponry

      "Air Force to try out their new generation of Stinger missiles..."

      ...or buzz bombs!

  14. Commswonk
    Coat

    Obviously...

    ...an attempted sting operation.

    1. imanidiot Silver badge

      Re: Obviously...

      Groan... you guys are unbeelievable

      1. Commswonk

        Re: Obviously...

        Groan... you guys are unbeelievable

        with an appollen sense of humour.

        It's who we are, and what we do.

      2. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

        Re: Obviously...

        Don't wax. There's at least beellion ways to have a sting at it, we're not even halfway through.

  15. Simon Harris

    "eight pounds, or in modern numbers, 3.6 kilos."

    This is The Register you're writing for - what's that in proper units?

    1. Dave Harris

      Re: "eight pounds, or in modern numbers, 3.6 kilos."

      0.86Jb

      1. Nick Ryan Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: "eight pounds, or in modern numbers, 3.6 kilos."

        Good man. Now all I have to do is to get the thought out of my mind: are those bee stings or "proper" jubs.

        I'm leaving...

    2. waldo kitty

      Re: "eight pounds, or in modern numbers, 3.6 kilos."

      0.571429 stone

    3. Adam 1

      Re: "eight pounds, or in modern numbers, 3.6 kilos."

      > what's that in proper units

      About 20 KiloBees

  16. earl grey
    Unhappy

    not nearly as much sting

    As those delivered by the moderatrix in times past.

    1. Mark 85
      Pint

      Re: not nearly as much sting

      Ah.. those were happy times. Thanks for the memory.

    2. VeganVegan

      Re: not nearly as much sting

      We do miss the sting of the dearly departed Sarah Bee.

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