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What's long, hard and full of seamen? The USS Harvey Milk

Ignorance + Righteous indignation =

Gold.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Ignorance + Righteous indignation =

They weren't tempted to put a model boat in the picture? Oh well.

Reminds me of the time my uncle, a native Gaelic speaker had an awesome crosstalk conversation with some relatives about putting a "liner in his pond". After a couple of days, he gets presented with something suitably naval from the toyshop ....

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WTF?

What about Rosemary?

Wait, Earl Warren and Bobby Kennedy made that list?

Is Obama now 'channeling' the ghost of Ted Kennedy?

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Re: What about Rosemary?

The Secretary of the Navy has the responsibility of assigning names to ships.

The Secretary can rely on many sources to help him reach his decisions. Each year, the Naval Historical Center compiles primary and alternate ship name recommendations and forwards these to the Chief of Naval Operations by way of the chain of command.

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Re: What about Rosemary?

You really think the Secretary gets to choose the names, with Obama as President? Your childlike trust is touching.

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Re: What about Rosemary?

In times past, things were relatively simple.

Carriers: prominent ship names from the past, or major battlefields. Examples: Enterprise, Yorktown, Lexington, Saratoga, Wasp, Hornet.

Battleships: States. Examples: Arizona, Utah, Washington, Iowa.

Battle cruisers: territories. Examples: Guam, Alaska. (At the time, Alaska was not a state.)

Cruisers: cities and towns. Examples: Boston, Houston, Chicago, Boise, Baltimore.

Destroyers and smaller: famous seamen and Marines, persons having to do with the Navy. Examples: Reuben James, Ward, Faragut, Perry.

Submarines: Fish and other things to do with the sea. Examples: Wahoo, Triton, Archerfish, Swordfish.

Oilers and such: Rivers.

Ammunition ships: Volcanoes and explosives.

Things started changing in the 1960s. A very large number of ships were built with the 'destroyer' designation, and so had names like Leahy. It was subsequently noticed that at 8,000 tons plus, they were kinda big to be destroyers and were re-categorized as cruisers, but kept the name. Later on, several 'destroyers' were in the process of being built for the Imperial Iranian Navy and were grabbed up by the USN after the Iranian Revolution, and re-classed as the 'Dead Admiral' class cruisers, the Kidd class. (This was the second ship named for Isaac Kidd, blown up aboard Arizona 7 Dec 1941. There is currently a third Kidd, an Arleigh Burke destroyer. Note that the Arleigh Burke ships at 9,000 tons plus are larger than the Leahys, but are still considered to be destroyers. So far, anyway.) Ballistic missile submarines were named for 'famous Americans' or foreigners in American service, including Lafayette, who might have felt honored, and Tecumseh, who probably wouldn't have liked it any more than a lot of other things that palefaces did. With cruisers no longer hogging the city names, attack submarines were named for cities. Memorably, USS Corpus Christi was renamed USS City of Corpus Christi after some religious nuts objected. Apparently said religious nuts don't know the full name of what is now known as 'Los Angeles' and who it was named for, as Corpus Christi was a Los Angeles class attack sub... With no more battleships to hog the state names, ballistic missile subs got state names. State names have now been shifted to attack subs. Some Ohio class ballistic missile subs have been converted into _guided_ missile subs, and carry very large numbers of Tomahawks instead of the 24 Trident missiles they were designed for. (Seven Toms for every Trident) Carriers are now named for admirals, (Nimitz) and presidents (John F.. Kennedy; the last non-nuclear American carrier was JFK, CV-67. The second Gerald Ford class carrier will be JFK, CVN-79) and famous carriers (thanks to Enterprise CV-6, there will always be an Enterprise in the US Navy. The third Gerry Ford is Enterprise CVN-80. Note that there is a George H.W. Bush; Bush the elder flew for the USN in WWII. There is not a George W. Bush and probably never will be. USS Jimmy Carter is a Seawolf class attack sub. Jimmy was a submariner. USS Jimmy Carter specializes in delivering SEAL teams.) Amphibious warfare ships were named for Marines and Marine battles (Hue, Iwo Jima, Peliku, Belleau Wood...) and are now named for famous ships (America, Hornet, Wasp... There will always be a Hornet, a Wasp, a Yorktown in the USN...) and some cruisers are named for major battles (Antietam, Leyte, Anzio...). Destroyers, even very large ones, are again named for famous seamen and people who did something for the Navy. Including, of course Grace Hopper.

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Funny thing

The US Military is probably the most progressive organization in the land, if not the world.

...and that 5" gun, you don't want to be on the other end of that thing.

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Re: Funny thing

In the Battle off Samar a couple of US destroyers with 5" guns took on several Japanese battleships and cruisers and scored a large number of hits, seriously impeding their opponents' ability attack the six US carriers nearby. It did help that the big battleship shells were just passing right thru the destroyers without exploding.

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Re: Funny thing

Those would be the only destroyers ever built using no armour plate whatsoever, the idea being that the less weight the more speed. It also helped that several of the Japanese cruisers were chronically over gunned and were mainly a danger to themselves (replacing 6" twin gunhouses with 9" or triple 6" was in retrospect not the best Japanese idea).

If I remember rightly the Japanese units weren't fitted with ranging and targeting radars, which made them less effective. Even major fleet units like Kirishima lacked radar gunnery control.

The large calibre shells never hit anything hard enough to trigger the fuses and just punched (lots of) holes, oddly I don't remember any information on if the smaller Japanese calibres failed in the same way.

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Re: Funny thing

In retrospect, then, the USN destroyers stood a ghost of a chance.

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Re: Funny thing

Those would be the only destroyers ever built using no armour plate whatsoever,

Not the case. They did have armour, but not enough to be noticed by a 300mm+ shell.

The problem of battleship and heavy cruiser main armament being overly optimized for battleship-to-battleship engagement and cruising through lesser ships without exploding is as old as the battleships themselves. It was observed in the Russian-Japanese war, it was a regular feature in WW1 with nearly all hits scored by the German Bayern class heavy cruisers on the Russian destroyer squadron at Moonzund being a "in-and-out" with the exemption of the hit on Grom where it did not explode, but hit the main boiler. It was a regular feature in WW2 engagements too.

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LDS
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Re: Funny thing

At Samar, most of them were old destroyer - some from the previous war - used as escort ships to provide cover for the landing beaches and the supporting vessels, especially against submarines and air attacks. Destroyers could have at most light armour to protect critical areas - no destroyer has ever being designed and armed for an artillery duel with a battleship or a even a cruiser.

The very corageous attack - one of the bravest of all times, given the enourmous disparity of forces -, using torpedoes and guns against the Japaneses ships, supported by the planes launched by the escort carriers which the destroyers were protecting, had the effect of hindering Kurita's fleet to easily attack and destroy it targets. Eventually, the loss of a couple of cruiser (and others damaged), the news that Nishimura fleet was destroyed (by Oldendorf's battleships force at Surigao), the risk of being attacked by larger forces (Halsey's, who fell into Ozawa's trap) led to Kurita's decision to retire.

The destroyers and their crews, anyway, paid an heavy toll. I don't know if some of those sailors had some important ships named after them. I believe they well deserve it. Far more than others... especially some presidents who did little to nothing.

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Headmaster

Re: Funny thing

Err nope. The destroyers at Samar were a mix of Destroyer Escorts and Fletcher class destroyers, none more than 3 years old.

None of which takes away the bravery of those involved.

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Re: Funny thing

With a 5" shell you could do some damage just by dropping it on someone, let alone firing the thing.

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Anonymous Coward

It'll be called the USNS Milquetoast. Let's just hope it doesn't earn the tile of being a milquetoast.

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When Winston Churchill was First Lord of the Admiralty, he wanted to name a battleship after William Pitt. He was dissuaded from doing so by the then First Sea Lord, who, thanks to his decades of experience in the RN (he'd been in uniform almost as long as Winnie Churchill had been alive...) and his extensive knowledge of le matelot d'Anglais and their way of finding scatological names for any ship, just knew what they'd call anything with 'Pitt' in its name.

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My favourites names in the Royal Fleet are the nicknames Curious, Spurious and Outrageous (IIRC) used for the Courageous-class ships (before being turned into carriers)...

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Believe it or not, there was a HMS Gay Bombardier, part of an entire class of Gay fast patrol boats:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay-class_fast_patrol_boat

In addition to the HMS Gay Viking, and not to mention the Flower-class corvettes, including HMS Nigella, HMS Bittersweet, and HMS Buttercup.

They had a lot of ships in those days.

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HMS Oliver Cromwell

Winston also submitted (more than once) the name HMS Oliver Cromwell, which His Majesty (as was his prerogative) turned down. Winston felt that a great general should be honoured while the King felt that anyone who executed a king should not.

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Anonymous Coward

Gay influence on Navy

And don't forget, in WWI and WWII they had Dazzle camouflage. What could be more gay than making your ship look FABULOUS?

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Actually, Milk was gunned down by EX-supervisor Dan While. While quit and then got mad because the mayor, George Moscone, wouldn't reinstate him. I think the two most telling facts about White's intent were (1) that he snuck into SF City Hall through a basement window, and (2) he reloaded after shooting Moscone and before shooting Milk.(I think I have the order right...it's been a while.) White later committed suicide.

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He has become a very polarising figure. Those in the political left in the US have idolised him to the point of inventing a martyr, while those on the right have invented conspiracy theories in which he committed all manner of awful sex crimes which went unreported due to a cover-up operation by the state government and the media.

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"He has become a very polarising figure. Those in the political left in the US have idolised him to the point of inventing a martyr, while those on the right have invented conspiracy theories in which he committed all manner of awful sex crimes which went unreported due to a cover-up operation by the state government and the media."

Pretty much the same as any other american figure with any sort of politics, then ?

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aqk
Paris Hilton

Coming soon! The USS Trent!

Actually, the USS Trent Reznor - replete with Nine-inch Nailguns!

Used mostly for flooring, but able to shoot seamen a very great distance!

What next? The USS http://factoids.ca/liberace ?? - Oh, wait! He was in the Marines!

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I am struggling to understand...

What this article is doing in the Register.

Surely 'Gay News' or 'The Guardian'would be more appropiate.?

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Re: I am struggling to understand...

SF is close enough to Silicon Valley, so IT-angle - check.

Beside, this is Bootnotes.

And El Eg (and by proxy its readers) are cunting gaylords, apparently.

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Re: I am struggling to understand...

I also think you will find that El Reg's commentards will enjoy any opportunity to slip in a double entendre or three, or make bad-taste joke where sex of any orientation (and preferably of all orientations) it connected with big machinery.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I am struggling to understand...

Um SF is Silicon Valley.

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Re: I am struggling to understand...

You must be new to el reg. El reg routinely does military articles . And yes this does qualify as a military article.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I am struggling to understand...

> Um SF is Silicon Valley.

News to me. Silicon Valley is mainly Santa Clara County – Sunnyvale, Cupertino, Palo Alto, San Jose, etc. SF is 45+ miles north of that.

(I grew up in California, Los Angeles mainly, but also in Silicon Valley for a bit.)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I am struggling to understand...

They classify Silly con valley as SF,Alameda and Santa Clara county San mateo . At one point the US Census stretch it to include Marin County And Salano County (Screw you Vallejo is not Part of Silly con valley. ). Wait I just checked again the refined it again and this time SF is not in it .At one point the crazy people at wikki tried to include Stockton and lodi and Fairfield. At that point you might as well toss in Sacramento

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Re: I am struggling to understand...

Hell, go all in and redefine 'the valley' as SF, bend around the bottom, taking in San Jose, through sacramento and off into death valley. 'silicon death valley'

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TRT
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Re: I am struggling to understand...

Also pointing out media ignorance. Especially if appeared online.

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Re: I am struggling to understand...

"At that point you might as well toss in Sacramento"

I would like to go on record as stating that I have never tossed in Sacramento.

I was adjusting my belt. Or possibly looking for badgers.

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Joke

Five-inch Naval Gun...

G̶u̶n̶b̶o̶a̶t̶ Toothbrush diplomacy

Practice safe shelling - put condom over gun

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Coat

Re: Five-inch Naval Gun...

Actually condoms over guns is a very common practice. If done properly it is tight enough to stop dirt, water (and other fluids) from entering the barrel, but doesn't impede the projectile when shot through.

That's my coat, the one with the patented gun barrel protector (and other handy uses) prophylactic in the pocket.

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Joke

Re: Five-inch Naval Gun...

Correct, most navies use condoms to keep the gun barrels dry, although I understand the Dutch navy use caps.......

Just in case - I should point out that ONLY the second part is a joke.

It is a pity you can only add one icon, as I would also like to add TWO Paris icons -

one for "Where's the IT angle"

and one because she loves seamen/semen.

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TRT
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Re: Five-inch Naval Gun...

The missus was very upset at the mess in the kitchen when she asked me to shell some peas.

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All semen were collected and deposited on the poop-deck, for the erection of the forward mast.

Everyone grabbed hold and gaily participated, pulling on ropes, and finishing off by getting the shaft securely inserted into the prepared opening.

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump noted the occasion by tweeting the following comment:

"PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS BOOBS !!!!!"

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That's a surprisingly coherent tweet from El Donald.

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Trollface

"PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS BOOBS !!!!!"

I thought it was Carlos Danger got in a little wiener trouble over that?

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On the Good Ship Venus

By Christ you should have seen us

The figurehead

Was a * in bed

*ing a dead man's *

Part of the fun is composing your verses. The above is found in Loudon Wainwright III's version. If you know that the rhyming scheme is AABBA, you should be able to work out the the last *.

More here, NSFW: http://www.lyricsmania.com/good_ship_venus_lyrics_loudon_wainwright_iii.html

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I always thought 5 inch Naval guns fired 5 inch Navels...

hmm probably works better on the radio... thanks to The Goons.

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Left hand down a bit

I always thought that the Navy Lark was better.

Jon Pertwee was brilliant.

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Re: Left hand down a bit

"I always thought that the Navy Lark was better."

Regularly on BBC R4Extra, probably on iPlayer for download too,

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Childcatcher

Entering That Pantheon......

....of famous ships. Titanic, Poseidon, Thresher, Mayaquez, PT-109, Arizona, Indianapolis, Wasp......Lusitania. Need I go on? The name invites a torpedo attack like a red cape to a bull and the butt of jokes from all SEAMEN.

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Anonymous Coward

What would Aubrey and Maturin say?

Congratulations, Jack, you've finally got a ship of your own.

It's something, but she's not a proper ship, but technically a boat.

What, pray tell, is the difference?

Only a seaman would understand. Worse, she's named after a famous sodomite (not that he deserved to be shot for that)

Should we not then refer to the ship- ahem, boat - as "he"?

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Re: What would Aubrey and Maturin say?

Why should the ship/boat not be a "she"? Probably as many women like anal sex as men, which is frequently the definition of sodomy. Allegedly.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: What would Aubrey and Maturin say?

Although I hear recently they have been publicising stats on anal fissures, to let young ladies know that a career as a p*rn star might possibly not be all wine and roses :P

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Re: What would Aubrey and Maturin say?

Why are ships called she?

“A ship is called a she because there is always a great deal of bustle around her; there is usually a gang of men about; she has a waist and stays; it takes a lot of paint to keep her good-looking; it is not the initial expense that breaks you, it is the upkeep; she can be all decked out; it takes an experienced man to handle her correctly; and without a man at the helm, she is absolutely uncontrollable. She shows her topsides, hides her bottom and, when coming into port, always heads for the buoys.”

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