back to article Airbus to build plane that's even uglier than the A380

The A380 may be able to haul hundreds of people across oceans and continents in considerable comfort, but aerosexuals* find it hard to love on aesthetic grounds. And now Airbus has signalled it intends to make even uglier planes next year. You'll need to be a very dedicated aviation enthusiast to see the new ugly birds, …

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  1. wolfetone Silver badge

    It looks a bit interesting, but it's got nothing on the sexualness of the Antonov An-225. It's a very manly looking plane.

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird - sexiest plane EVER.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I disagree - the Me262 has never been beaten in the looks department, IMHO

        1. JetSetJim
          Black Helicopters

          Spitfire FTW, IMHO

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            The A380 is not ugly!

            I used to see them often near Hounslow. They have the proportions of a Fisher Price toy, and seem to just float in mid air.

            1. Simon Harris

              Re: The A380 is not ugly!

              "They have the proportions of a Fisher Price toy, and seem to just float in mid air."

              Presumably in much the same way that bricks don't ?

              1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

                Re: The A380 is not ugly!

                > Presumably in much the same way that bricks don't ?

                Bricks do float. Just for a very, very brief time period and in an averagely-downward direction..

                1. Gary Bickford

                  Re: The A380 is not ugly!

                  Bricks can fly, it all depends the the size of the engine!

                2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

                  Re: The A380 is not ugly!

                  Depends on the liquid. They float quite nicely in a bath of mercury.

              2. oldcoder

                Re: The A380 is not ugly!

                Liked the Air Force museum at Dayton...

                I took my wife by to see some fantastic aircraft, and got her positioned at the B36 single tire feature (the tire was on its side).

                She asked me where the tire was - and I said "Behind you". Still didn't see the tire... Until she saw the placard well around to her right.

                She had thought the tire was a curved wall, and the almost 7' width of the tire prevented her from seeing it... She was all of 5' 1.

                Too bad it is counted as a minor display, but it is the largest tire ever made for an aircraft (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Convair_B-36_Peacemaker)

              3. Alan Brown Silver badge

                Re: The A380 is not ugly!

                "Presumably in much the same way that bricks don't ?"

                The A380 is quieter than a non-floating brick. It's spooky to watch them.

                Compared to everything else coming out of Heathrow they're like a hole in the wall of sound.

              4. This post has been deleted by its author

              5. Potemkine Silver badge

                Re: The A380 is not ugly!

                Presumably in much the same way that bricks don't ?

                Bricks fly if enough thrust is provided, look at F-4 for instance.

              6. This post has been deleted by its author

            2. Steve 114

              Re: The A380 is not ugly!

              Floaty McFloatface?

            3. Graham Triggs

              Re: The A380 is not ugly!

              I agree that the A380 isn't "ugly". In reality, everything follows the lines of most planes today. It just looks unfeasibly large.

              Other than the sheer size, the one thing that really stands out is the positioning and size of the cockpit windows - which looks so out of proportion in comparison to other planes.

              It's a little odd, but mostly I'm just impressed by it's sheer size. I'm far more excited about seeing one, than any other plane. And if anything, it's made the 747 look ugly - because really, that always was a rather ugly plane, but you forgave it for it's sheer size compared to everything else.

              Although the best way to see an A380 is when it is just starting it's final approach over London - is it a normal plane that is scarily close, or a very big plane that is still far away?

              1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

                Re: The A380 is not ugly!

                "is it a normal plane that is scarily close, or a very big plane that is still far away?"

                Any time you're not sure, watch this.

          2. Bowlers

            Ugly, beautyful or purposeful.

            The TSR2 did it for me. I was in the RAF when the labour goverment cancelled it, changed my voting habits for decades afterwards.

            1. Steve 114

              Re: Ugly, beautyful or purposeful.

              Got the TSR2 tie. But colleagues who'd worked closer on it got given the tie with the red diagonal through it. Must be a collectible now. Today chaps won't even wear ties - truly the end of an era.

              1. James Hughes 1

                Re: Ugly, beautyful or purposeful.

                FFS, best looking plane ever is clearly the DH Mosquito. Are you all blind?

                1. Pete4000uk

                  Re: Ugly, beautyful or purposeful.

                  Concorde. She was the queen of the sky

                  1. Anonymous Coward
                    Anonymous Coward

                    Re: Ugly, beautyful or purposeful.

                    Indeed, Concorde was a beauty. (I was employed across the way from YYZ when Corcorde took her final tour. She took off in a very short distance away from us and rattled our office windows but left bittersweet smiles on everyone's face.)

                  2. aqk
                    Coat

                    Re: Ugly, beautyful or fallacious

                    Queen of the sky?- the Concorde fallacy.

                    1. jumpyjoe

                      Re: Ugly, beautyful or fallacious

                      For me the most beautiful aeroplane will always be the Hawker Hunter.

                      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawker_Hunter

                2. bazza Silver badge

                  Re: Ugly, beautyful or purposeful.

                  "FFS, best looking plane ever is clearly the DH Mosquito. Are you all blind?"

                  Yes, thank you, that. Definitely the DH Mosquito.

                  Closely followed by Concorde, Spitfire, A12/SR71, EE Lightning. And inexplicably the Sunderland Flying Boat does things for me too.

                  Though nothing shows true mastery of air quite so explicitly as an F117. Making something that clearly shouldn't fly fly was really impressive, especially for the comparatively tiny amount of money they spent doing it.

                  1. Anonymous Coward
                    Anonymous Coward

                    Re: Ugly, beautyful or purposeful.

                    If we're talking flying boats, then I'm sorry, but the Catalina beats the Sunderland hands down in looks.

                    But the prop-powered aircraft I love most, I'd hesitate to call beautiful - the Handley Page HP42. I just want one. Sigh...

                3. Grumble
                  Facepalm

                  Re: Ugly, beautyful or purposeful.

                  Yeah, but the vertical stabiliser always looked like a bit of an afterthought.

                4. Triggerfish

                  Re: Ugly, beautyful or purposeful.@James Hughes 1

                  Have an upvote for mentioning the wooden wonder.

                  1. aqk
                    Alien

                    Re: Ugly, beautyful or purposeful.@James Hughes 1

                    You mean the Spruce Goose? Built by the guy that also designed Jane Russell's bra? This impressed him so much, he refused to cut his fingernails anymore!

          3. Chemical Bob

            Re: ME262, Spitfire

            P51

        2. TimeMaster T
          Coat

          well ...

          The ME262 does have a nice set of nacelles.

          1. RegGuy1 Silver badge

            The ME262 does have a nice set of nacelles.

            I bet he says that to all the girls.

      2. K

        I'm torn between..

        I do love the XB-70, looks like somebody stole the blue print from Thunderbirds..

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_American_XB-70_Valkyrie

        I'm doing a US road trip with the missus later this year, and I'm trying to find some excuse to stop over in Ohio to see it lol..

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

          1. JLV

            Re: I'm torn between..

            Might I also recommend the Museum of Flight and/or the factory tour @ Boeing when in Seattle?

            (no great stress if one gets the wrong exit either)

            1. John 104

              Re: I'm torn between..

              And hit Paul Allens museum while you are at it.

              Haven't been to Evergreen in OR for a while, but they had a stellar display collection last time I was there.

              Oh, and F4 Phantom FTW for modern.

              P40 for old school. Not the best performer but just so cool looking.

              1. bob, mon!
                Trollface

                "Oh, and F4 Phantom FTW for modern."

                "The triumph of thrust over aerodynamics."

                1. zen1

                  Re: "Oh, and F4 Phantom FTW for modern."

                  Thrust over aerodynamics prize has to go to the f-104...

                  1. Anonymous Coward
                    Anonymous Coward

                    Re: "Thrust over aerodynamics prize has to go to the f-104..."

                    104s are gorgeous. Regarding their aerodynamics, my pop was a test pilot at Lockheed during the F-104 program and told me that none of the pilots ever referred to is as a "missile with a man in it". He did hear it described as having "the glide ratio of an anvil strapped to a manhole cover", though, and did not have fond memories of the only time he flew it as a glider, flamed out and refusing to restart.

                    Living near Seattle, I see Boeing's beluga-like modified 747 on occasion. I don't doubt that a similarly modified A380 will be at least as ugly.

                  2. Gary Bickford

                    Re: "Oh, and F4 Phantom FTW for modern."

                    F-104 Starfighter - I recall that the only "airplane" with a worse glide ratio was the Space Shuttle. Was it 1:3? I recall that they used starfighters with wheels down as escorts on early landings of the shuttle. It was the only plane that could fly both fast enough and badly enough to stay with it.

        2. Ol'Peculier

          Re: I'm torn between..

          Damn it... I have friends in Cincinnati who I stayed with a couple of years ago, Dayton is only about 50 miles from there. In fact, I drove past it coming down from Chicago.

        3. PhilipN Silver badge

          XB-70

          Blimey! How do you "drop" bombs at Mach 3+ ?

          1. lglethal Silver badge
            Trollface

            Re: XB-70

            <quote>Blimey! How do you "drop" bombs at Mach 3+ ?</quote>

            Very, very carefully...

            1. aqk
              Mushroom

              Re: XB-70

              Let me correct that for you-

              Very, very quickly...

          2. Chemical Bob

            Re: XB-70

            "Blimey! How do you "drop" bombs at Mach 3+ ?"

            quickly

          3. Alan Brown Silver badge

            Re: XB-70

            "Blimey! How do you "drop" bombs at Mach 3+ ?"

            You can't. They hit the slipstream and get forced back into the bomb bay.

            SR71s were originally designed as bombers and redesignated to observation planes when this phenomenon was discovered. By that point ICBMs had made supersonic strike bombers unnecessary so no R&D was put into solving the problem. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lockheed_SR-71_Blackbird#SR-71

          4. dmacleo

            Re: XB-70

            very speedily...

          5. This post has been deleted by its author

          6. ravenviz Silver badge

            Re: XB-70

            You shoot them out backwards at Mach 3!

        4. Mark 85

          @K - Re: I'm torn between..

          See the SR-71 also then... as well as everything else. The museum is well worth the trip.

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