If it's Friday it must be time for On-Call, our regular reader-written romp through fun times at work. This week, reader “Oswald” shared the story of the time he worked “for the IT company that looked after a well known football club.” Oswald's a Brit, so when he says “football” he means soccer. The club was his employer's …

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Friday 29th April 2016 07:40 GMT Voland's right hand

The joys of essential life saving fluids and electronics

It was beer - that is less aggressive than coffee or god forbid Coca Cola.

I was reminded of the interesting properties of coffee this week by spilling it on top of my Roomba.

As a result, it was finally retired. It survived doing full run per floor (two runs per day) when we were doing an extension (sweeping plaster and concrete dust), it survived cleaning the house with two kids for 8 years after that (+ new battery, brush unit and vacuum bin). It did not survive a double espresso hit in the middle of the top lid (right where the CPU board is).

Coke is even worse. Sugar and industrial strength phosphoric acid solution. I do not recall a single case of successfully salvaging something from a coke spill in the days when I ran a computer repair shop (15+ years ago).

Compared to these two, beer is mostly harmless.

By the way - POE switches are obliged to have quite a bit of short-circuit protection by spec, so the fact that it survived for a while is not surprising.

9 1 Reply
1. Friday 29th April 2016 08:28 GMT WraithCadmus
  
  Re: The joys of essential life saving fluids and electronics
  
  I did once rescue an Xbox 360 pad that had been Cherry Coke'd, but a Wiimote from the same incident wasn't salvageable. Of course I don't know the differences in formulation between Regular and Cherry, so maybe that explains the <100% mortality rate.
  
  This was using the dishwasher technique. Top shelf, lowest temp, no soap. Make sure your filters are all clean and that any water softeners are running properly, and that you give devices a good day to two to dry out.
  
  Icon: Relevant to the story, and it is a long weekend here.
  
  4 0 Reply
  1. Friday 29th April 2016 18:11 GMT Charles 9
    
    Re: The joys of essential life saving fluids and electronics
    
    "Of course I don't know the differences in formulation between Regular and Cherry"
    
    Actually, that IS rather surprising, given about the only difference between a Cherry Coke and a Regular Coke is the additional cherry syrup added to the Coca-Cola concentrate (which has the sugar and phosphoric acid). Most of the rest is just seltzer water (adding a touch of carbonic acid as well).
    
    1 0 Reply
2. Friday 29th April 2016 13:27 GMT Cynical Observer
  
  Re: The joys of essential life saving fluids and electronics
  
  @Voland's Right Hand
  
  it survived cleaning the house with two kids for 8 years after that (+ new battery, brush unit and vacuum bin)
  
  In the same vein as .....
  
  Trigger And that's what I've done. Maintained it for 20 years. This old broom's had 17 new heads and 14 new handles in its time.
  
  Sid How the hell can it be the same bloody broom then?
  
  Trigger There's the picture. What more proof do you need?
  
  6 1 Reply
3. Saturday 30th April 2016 12:49 GMT Alan Brown
  
  Re: The joys of essential life saving fluids and electronics
  
  "It was beer - that is less aggressive than coffee or god forbid Coca Cola."
  
  In my first job I was required to service cash registers and printing calculators.
  
  Several of those cash registers were in pubs(*). It wasn't uncommon to open the case to find the circuit board submerged in beer. Given the shielding installed in and over the things we used to suspect staff were firing the beer taps (on flexible hoses, not like UK pubs) directly into the keyboards and cash drawers
  
  One "essential modification" was the fitting of drains to everything, whilst ensuring that nothing drained inton anything sensitive (such as the cash, accounts clerks don't like soggy banknotes)
  
  Stale beer takes on a new aspect when it's encrusted on devices and has to be scrubbed off everything (usually hot soapy water followed by an isopropyl wash). The printers in these things would seldom last more than a month between motor burnouts.
  
  (*) Pub is a loose term. They were nicknamed "booze barns" for good reason - 1-2 acres of car parking and a "public bar" area ranging from 4000 square feet upwards with all drinking done standing up or at high tables (Some "taverns" had public bar areas of 6-8000 square feet with the largest one hitting 16,000 square feet). There would be 10-30 cash registers running continuously and the beertaps ran almost constantly filling "jugs" (about 2 litres) with cheap swill. Closing time was 10pm sharp and drinkers who'd had a skinful would then have to drive several miles home - making the 10-11pm period especially dangerous if you happened to be on the road.
  
  0 0 Reply
Friday 29th April 2016 08:02 GMT Anonymous Coward

Oswald's a Brit, so when he says “football” he means soccer.

Just to avoid any confusion American Football is rugby for softies.

81 1 Reply
1. Friday 29th April 2016 08:18 GMT Anonymous Coward
  
  Similarites between rugby and american football
  
  Balls the same shape and that's about it.
  
  8 2 Reply
  1. Friday 29th April 2016 10:04 GMT Simon Harris
    
    Re: Similarites between rugby and american football
    
    American footballs are actually a bit more pointy at the ends than rugby balls.
    
    6 0 Reply
2. Friday 29th April 2016 08:20 GMT AndyS
  
  Struck me as an odd sentence. Surely the author meant to write:
  
  Oswald's a Brit, so when he says "football" he means "football."
  
  89 1 Reply
  1. Friday 29th April 2016 12:56 GMT Anonymous Coward
    
    Oswald's a Brit, so when he says “football” he means football, not "handegg"........
    
    3 0 Reply
  2. Friday 29th April 2016 14:51 GMT raving angry loony
    
    I'm guessing that the author is an American who forgot he was writing for a British publication perhaps? I've found they often do that.
    
    7 0 Reply
3. Friday 29th April 2016 08:57 GMT TeeCee
  
  I prefer "Rugby for big girls' blouses in armour.".
  
  23 0 Reply
  1. Friday 29th April 2016 09:11 GMT Anonymous Coward
    
    RE: I prefer "Rugby for big girls' blouses in armour.".
    
    Need to be careful, the yanks may not be happy when they get up for their bagels and over easy sunny side up eggs and read this.
    
    This may help.
    
    A brief understanding of a part of English Humour
    
    4 1 Reply
    1. Friday 29th April 2016 09:48 GMT Anonymous Coward
      
      Re: RE: I prefer "Rugby for big girls' blouses in armour.".
      
      Football? Don't you mean handegg?
      
      16 0 Reply
      1. Friday 29th April 2016 13:47 GMT Darryl
        
        Re: Football? Don't you mean handegg?
        
        I've said it before and I'll say it again... If you Brits' eggs are the shape of an American football, it may be time to cut back on the chicken inbreeding program...
        
        5 0 Reply
    2. Friday 29th April 2016 12:55 GMT Peter2
      
      Re: RE: I prefer "Rugby for big girls' blouses in armour.".
      
      "Need to be careful, the yanks may not be happy when they get up for their bagels and over easy sunny side up eggs and read this.
      
      This may help.
      
      A brief understanding of a part of English Humour"
      
      ---
      
      Americans are famous for not having a sense of humour. They have a sense of humor instead.
      
      *hides*
      
      21 0 Reply
    3. Monday 2nd May 2016 12:41 GMT waldo kitty
      
      Re: eggs (was: RE: I prefer "Rugby for big girls' blouses in armour.".)
      
      over easy sunny side up eggs
      
      no such thing can exist... over easy is flipped without breakage of the yolk... sunny side up has no flipping at all...
      
      2 0 Reply
4. Friday 29th April 2016 10:59 GMT Anonymous Coward
  
  Rugby is a very British sport, to allow men hug each other without any kind of protection...
  
  13 0 Reply
  1. Friday 29th April 2016 11:56 GMT Captain Scarlet
    
    Oh that's why American's get confused when I keep shouting "HAND BALL" at them.
    
    Why can't we rename American Football "American Soccer"?
    
    6 1 Reply
  2. Friday 29th April 2016 13:19 GMT SolidSquid
    
    > Rugby is a very British sport, to allow men hug each other without any kind of protection...
    
    Actually a lot of them will wear funny hats these days
    
    3 0 Reply
  3. Monday 2nd May 2016 23:34 GMT Number6
    
    Rugby players bring their own padding.
    
    1 0 Reply
5. Friday 29th April 2016 11:54 GMT Anonymous Coward
  
  Football vs football
  
  If you say "football club" there is no danger of misinterpretation because no one refers to football teams as "clubs" here in the US.
  
  7 0 Reply
6. Friday 29th April 2016 12:46 GMT Keith Langmead
  
  "Oswald's a Brit, so when he says “football” he means soccer."
  
  Should read "Oswald's a Brit, so when he says “football” he means football... not pansy ass version of rugby with body armour."
  
  14 0 Reply
  1. Friday 29th April 2016 18:16 GMT Charles 9
    
    "Should read "Oswald's a Brit, so when he says “football” he means football... not pansy ass version of rugby with body armour.""
    
    There's nothing pansy about dealing with 300-plus-pound linebackers charging at speed. Trust me, those pads are there for a good reason, because when 300-pound-plus people collide, it can HURT. Rubgy's rules bar rough tackling but Americans consider it standard Sunday procedure. So consider the course before you blame the horse.
    
    PS. It's not just Americans that use the term soccer (and yes, we DO use the term "club" with soccer, like with SC). Australians use the term too to avoid confusing with their own version of "footy".
    
    6 3 Reply
    1. Saturday 30th April 2016 16:01 GMT Alan Brown
      
      "Trust me, those pads are there for a good reason, because when 300-pound-plus people collide, it can HURT. "
      
      As with boxing (where the gloves are there to protect the hands, not the other guy), the padding is to protect the collider, not the colliddee. Pads allow players to hit much harder and inflict more injuries.
      
      When rugby players put on pads and play gridiron, gridiron players start getting extremely badly hurt.
      
      3 1 Reply
      1. Monday 2nd May 2016 08:25 GMT Charles 9
        
        "When rugby players put on pads and play gridiron, gridiron players start getting extremely badly hurt."
        
        I don't know. Like I said, very rough tackling is frowned upon in rubgy whereas in gridiron it's much more tolerated. The gridiron players have experience and have to run fast and turn sharp corners WITH their gear on. Plus, like I said, there's the issue of weight which contributes to both momentum and inertia.
        
        Unless you can show an actual demonstration, I'll have to disagree with you. Experience and physics seem to advantage the gridiron player in a collision.
        
        2 0 Reply
      2. Tuesday 3rd May 2016 14:58 GMT Anonymous Coward
        
        American football player are selected among people with more "explosive" strength at the expense of being able to sustain it for a longer time, as rugby players need.
        
        Player rotation is free, and there are separate offense/defense teams, so there's time to recover, unlike rugby. While the lack of forward pass in rugby means tall and very fast players are not needed.
        
        In turns it means usually everything happens at higher speeds, and impacts are more dangerous. Because there is no off-side rule after the ball is "snapped", and because there are larger spaces to accelerate, impacts may happen among player at higher speeds and at more "energetic" angles, especially between receivers and back ends (and special teams). Add that tackles rules are far more forgiving than rugby, and protections became a requirement... IIRC Roosevelt or some other US president had to intervene at the beginning of the last century because of too many deaths due to the game. It is true that protection invites also to hit harder.
        
        It's really two different sports requiring different types of players, regardless of some commonalities.
        
        0 0 Reply
Friday 29th April 2016 08:07 GMT Anonymous Coward

So when he says “football” he means soccer

No. He means exactly what he said, football.

42 2 Reply
1. Friday 29th April 2016 08:13 GMT A K Stiles
  
  Re: So when he says “football” he means soccer
  
  Just what I came to say. "Football", or even "Association Football", rather than "American Football" or "Aussie Rules All-In Brawling".
  
  17 1 Reply
  1. Friday 29th April 2016 13:07 GMT Anonymous Coward
    
    Re: So when he says “football” he means soccer
    
    "Aussie Rules All-In Brawling"
    
    Is that the one where they go to if they are to soft for post pub Sunday League matches?
    
    0 0 Reply
  2. Friday 29th April 2016 16:39 GMT James O'Shea
    
    Re: So when he says “football” he means soccer
    
    "Just what I came to say. "Football", or even "Association Football", rather than "American Football" or "Aussie Rules All-In Brawling"."
    
    There are no rules in Australian (Rules) Football. Using an opponent's head as the ball is frowned upon mostly because it takes too long to pound it into an acceptable shape, but is not actually illegal.
    
    In other news, there's at least one 405-pound man playing American football. http://espn.go.com/blog/ncfnation/post/_/id/109394/meet-laquan-mcgowan-baylors-400-pound-tight-end Don't get in his way, at least not until after he has his second or third heart attack. Even Aussies might need to call in few drop bears or a saltie to handle him.
    
    5 1 Reply
  3. Monday 2nd May 2016 23:35 GMT Number6
    
    Re: So when he says “football” he means soccer
    
    Aussie Rules is a bit of a misnomer because I thought they didn't have any rules in that sport.
    
    0 0 Reply
Friday 29th April 2016 08:11 GMT DF118

Football

Oswald's a Brit, so when he says “football” he means soccer.

No, he means football.

24 2 Reply
Friday 29th April 2016 08:13 GMT Anonymous Coward

Football is football

"Oswald's a Brit, so when he says “football” he means soccer."

No, he means football. If some other nation can't understand that the game where your foot contacts the ball is called football, that is their problem not ours.

30 3 Reply
1. Friday 29th April 2016 09:02 GMT Archie Woodnuts
  
  Re: Football is football
  
  Protip: Association Football has historically been shortened to either Football or Soccer. The term Soccer actually originated in England in the 1880s Both are valid,
  
  8 6 Reply
  1. This post has been deleted by its author
  2. Friday 29th April 2016 21:49 GMT Captain DaFt
    
    Re: Football is football
    
    "The term Soccer actually originated in England in the 1880s"
    
    Typical behaviour.
    
    Make up a word and trick some yokels into using it, then point and laugh at them when they do.
    
    5 0 Reply
2. Friday 29th April 2016 09:42 GMT Bert 1
  
  Re: Football is football
  
  El Reg is an English publication, so when it says "Football" it means 1966.
  
  33 0 Reply
3. Friday 29th April 2016 10:30 GMT GlenP
  
  Re: Football is football
  
  No, Association Football is soccer.
  
  It is the Rugby Football Union after all!
  
  5 2 Reply
4. Friday 29th April 2016 13:52 GMT Anonymous Coward
  
  Re: Football is football
  
  So, what should you call a game where your hands, feet, legs, head or chest can contact the ball?
  
  Those are legal all in soccer for all players, though there are a few extra restrictions on hands.
  
  2 2 Reply
  1. Friday 29th April 2016 13:53 GMT gazthejourno
    
    Re: Re: Football is football
    
    Rugby.
    
    6 0 Reply
  2. Friday 29th April 2016 15:56 GMT Anonymous Coward
    
    Re: Football is football
    
    Where the item to be used within the game is a ball and the primary appendage used to move said ball is the foot, I would call it, ballfoot, no wait football.
    
    3 0 Reply
5. Friday 29th April 2016 17:49 GMT Mark 85
  
  Re: Football is football
  
  Meh... 61 comments at this point and most seem to be arguing over what to call the came. Same game just different terms. One has to remember that the USA and the UK are divided by a common language.
  
  On that note, most us who live here in the States and read UK publication, I would hope that we grasp the difference between "football" and "football" much like we know the differences is spelling of certain words that require "u" over there. Seems the argument is amongst you lads in the UK.. so could you take it outside... ?
  
  4 3 Reply
  1. Friday 29th April 2016 18:21 GMT Charles 9
    
    Re: Football is football
    
    Don't forget that Australians use the term soccer, too, because they have their own particular brand of "football" that, like Americans, they prefer over "soccer".
    
    1 0 Reply
Friday 29th April 2016 08:14 GMT EddieD

Sadly not beer

We used to issue bootcamped MacBooks to our PhD students - it was a solution to not enough space for desks, but inevitably, I needed to repair them.

One day, I found one on my desk to fix, and I thought I could smell something. When I got the thing open, it stank like the broth of hell - fairly appropriate analogy the student had managed to spill fish soup on it and waited a week to bring it in.

I actually tried to rescue it, sponging it with de-ionised water, but it was beyond redemption.

At least the next one had only been bathed in baby oil.

I never plucked up the courage to ask the student how that happened.

8 0 Reply
1. Friday 29th April 2016 11:08 GMT Anonymous Coward
  
  Re: Sadly not beer
  
  I'm in the same line of work. A MacBook was brought in with an optical drive that didn't work. "Fine," I thought, "there's a spare in the cupboard." After removing the requisite 22 screws, I was able to lift the failing drive out. And out dropped a 10cm stick of spaghetti. Spaghetti that had obviously once been cooked. How does one even get cooked spaghetti into a slot-loading drive? No need for exchange — I put the original drive and the 22 screws back in place and all was fine.
  
  2 0 Reply
  1. Friday 29th April 2016 11:19 GMT Doctor Syntax
    
    Re: Sadly not beer
    
    "How does one even get cooked spaghetti into a slot-loading drive?"
    
    For a bet?
    
    4 0 Reply
    1. Friday 29th April 2016 11:46 GMT BurnT'offering
      
      Re: Sadly not beer
      
      Practicing for marriage?
      
      16 0 Reply
  2. Friday 29th April 2016 11:46 GMT ChrisC
    
    Re: Sadly not beer
    
    "How does one even get cooked spaghetti into a slot-loading drive?"
    
    Cooked spaghetti is somewhat sticky and has a tendency to adhere quite nicely to pretty much anything it touches. It's therefore not entirely beyond the realms of belief to consider a scenario where some spaghetti ended up being spilled off the plate unnoticed (or, given the state of some student residences, simply ignored and forgotten about) and then at some later date a CD/DVD was chucked onto the table/floor/wherever said spaghetti was now residing, the spaghetti decided it fancied a change of scenery and so stuck itself to the underside of the disc, whereupon it then got transferred unnoticed into the drive...
    
    3 0 Reply
    1. Friday 29th April 2016 12:00 GMT Chris King
      
      Re: Sadly not beer
      
      I visited a flat in halls where students had a food fight, and pasta was involved. They just painted over it in magnolia and claimed it was Artex.
      
      10 0 Reply