back to article NZ hotel bans cyclists' Lycra-clad loins

A New Zealand hotel has struck a blow for dining decorum by banning Lycra-clad cyclists, lest elderly customers and wide-eyed kiddies cop an unwelcome eyeful of their "unsightly" tackle. Visitors pedalling up to The Plough Hotel in Rangiora, on NZ's South Island, were greeted with a sign yesterday which read: "The bicycle is a …

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  1. Dave 126 Silver badge

    That's a bit harsh. What about Tron Guy?

    http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/web03/2012/5/5/15/enhanced-buzz-24959-1336247132-3.jpg

    (Don't worry, this isn't one of Mr Maynard's more revealing poses!)

    Anyway, my pragmatic approach would be for the hotel to keep aside some baggy cargo shorts for any Lycra-clad men who arrive.

    1. Fungus Bob

      Tron Guy's a bit harsh too...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      That's a big Tron.

      I recall a funny Bud Light ad concerning thongs on men.

  2. MT Field

    Never mind the offensive shorts, ban them for their anti-social behaviour, antagonism and littering habits.

    1. m0rt

      You get idiots in any cross section of society.

      Commentards included...

    2. Commswonk
      Pint

      "...ban them for their anti-social behaviour, antagonism and littering habits"

      Hear hear! The beer is for you.

      I cannot comment on their littering habits but from personal experience they are high on the list for anti - social behaviour and antagonism.

      I frequently walk our dog in the company of others along parkland paths that are designated as "shared space" between pedestrians and cyclists. Their conduct is appalling; riding at speed in complete disregard of the people and pets in the area; some of the people are small and smallish children and some of the pets are off their leads (as they are perfectly entitled to be) and yet these two - wheeled hooligans ride at speeds that are simply unsafe for the conditions. Those that actually have bells rarely ring them in sufficient time for pedestrians to see the precise location of the hazard approaching from behind, and of course the assumption seems to be that no pedestrian might have a hearing problem that would render the seldom rung bells unheard in the first place.

      Another sometimes used walk involves a local canal towpath, which almost by definition is quite narrow. Not that this width restriction bothers the cyclists of course; they simply barge* their way through regardless of the fact that there are clear signs showing that the section of towpath concerned is "no cycling". They do not take kindly to this fact being pointed out; perhaps they cannot read the "pictogram" sign, displayed along with "no quad bikes, horse riding or shooting". A friend of mine was knocked to the ground by a vicious head - butt from a cyclist on a different section of the same canal.

      I am perfectly prepared to accept that drivers' conduct towards cyclists on the highway is bad, but that does not excuse cyclists treating pedestrians even worse.

      I do not normally ally myself with the "hanging's too good for them" brigade but for cyclists I am prepared to make an exception.

      * Pun unavoidable. Sorry.

      1. a_yank_lurker

        Bikes are vehicles not pedestrians so any pedestrian/bikeway is an idiocy waiting for the inevitable face-off. Since bikes are vehicles, technically (in the US) the pedestrians should be walking on the side facing traffic aka the bikes but they never do.

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          "the pedestrians should be walking on the side facing traffic"

          Common sense needed here.

          On a blind corner walk on the outside of the band irrespective of whether you're facing the traffic or not. Cyclists, of course, have their own technique in this situation. They just barrel round the corner in the middle of the road.

          1. Commswonk

            "the pedestrians should be walking on the side facing traffic"

            That theory is all well and good*, but it breaks down completely in what might be described as "urban areas" where cyclists ride on the pavement (sidewalk if you're on the other side of the pond) despite it being illegal to do so.

            * Actually it isn't. On "shared space" there can be children playing as well as dogs both on and off leads so any spatial segregation is simply not going to work. What might well work is cyclists taking more care and cycling at a more genteel pace, but these are options they are either unwilling or incapable of taking.

            1. Allan George Dyer

              I think you (partially) answered your own question...

              "...why do some of them ignore specially provided cycle lanes,..."

              'On "shared space" there can be children playing as well as dogs both on and off leads...'

              If they are not designated as shared, then they often have inadequate separation from the footpath, and wandering pedestrians encroach. So, a responsible cyclist takes the road instead.

              Other problems with cycle paths include uneven surface, insufficient width and frequent forced stops.

              "What might well work is cyclists taking more care and cycling at a more genteel pace, but these are options they are either unwilling or incapable of taking."

              Is that surprising, if you are using a bicycle as transport? How about bringing the 4mph limit and red flag for motor vehicles, and merging roads and footpaths?

              A shared space of pedestrians and casual recreational cyclists could be very nice, but town planners and the car lobby shouldn't pretend it's a route for people meeting their transport needs without burning oil.

            2. Adrian 4

              I have no sympathy for cyclists riding on the pavement unless they have a tiny pink bike with training wheels. But given the design of a number of cycle lanes, I have every sympathy for cyclists who reject them (and in any case, they're under no legal obligation to use them).

              For proof, see

              http://homepage.ntlworld.com/pete.meg/wcc/facility-of-the-month/

          2. a_yank_lurker

            @Dr Syntax - Many years ago I was talking to GDOT (Georgia DOT) about these types of trails. They are detested because they do not account for the very different characteristics of bikes and pedestrians. To be blunt, they are dangerous to both because a bike can easily hit speeds of 15 mph or more compared to a person walking at 2 to 3 mph. Both sides have legitimate complaints but they should be directed at the bureaucrats who moronically think these trails are a good idea.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              > a bike can easily hit speeds of 15 mph or more

              More like 50.

              I only got flashed twice so far, once on a mountain bicycle and once on a car. I was clocked at 50 mph on the bike and 40 mph with the car (in a 50 km/h zone which I didn't notice had changed, unlike the run with the bicycle which was done with the express purpose of setting off the speed camera.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Commswonk

        Calm down, get back in your car/lorry, mow down a few cyclists to take the edge off things and remember to opt for trial by jury, you'll be fine:

        http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/apr/08/drivers-who-kill-remove-right-to-trial-by-jury-death-cyclists-pedestrians-justice

        1. Commswonk

          Re: @Commswonk

          Calm down, get back in your car/lorry, mow down a few cyclists to take the edge off things and remember to opt for trial by jury, you'll be fine:

          Odd as it may sound I don't actually want to injure cyclists (or pedestrians) when I am driving. All I want is for cyclists to offer the same courtesy to me when I am on foot walking the dog and conversing with other dog walkers.

          It is also worth remembering that London cyclists* have a fearsome reputation for scattering pedestrians by "furious cycling" on pavements, which is quite simply against the law in the first place. Oh and ignoring red lights...

          And why oh why oh why do some of them ignore specially provided cycle lanes, chosing to ride either on the main carriageway where drivers are forced to avoid them or on the footway where they generally fail to observe pedestrian rights.

          * Other places doubtless have comparable problems.

          1. kraut

            Re: @Commswonk

            You should try wearing a hi-viz tabbard saying "I'm nice to cyclists when I drive!". And clearly your dogs should wear hi-viz coats - and helmets. And, probably, some blinking lights. The more the better.

            That's what cyclists get told all the time - shouldn't it apply to pedestrians and dogs, too?

            All I want is for cyclists to offer the same courtesy to me when I am on foot walking the dog and conversing with other dog walkers.

            I'm willing to bet a pint that if you put your confirmation bias aside, you'd find that most do. Just as most drivers drive fairly well around cyclists.

            But the ones you remember are the ones that don't.

            Even in largely pleasant populations you get some arseholes. Like cyclists who don't share shared paths, or dog walkers who believe in the dog poo fairy.

            It is also worth remembering that London cyclists* have a fearsome reputation for scattering pedestrians by "furious cycling" on pavements, which is quite simply against the law in the first place....

            It's against the law, but supposed to be tolerated - according to numerous relevant ministers - unless done inconsiderately. Now, I've only been in London for 25 years, but I don't recall encountering a cyclist in central London on the pavement - the pavements are usually far too crowded. Out in the sticks^H^H^H^HBarnet you do see it, but then the pavements there are usually a) wide and b) empty.

            Nobody walks anywhere in the 'burbs. They have a 4x4 and they will drive it.

            Oh and ignoring red lights

            It's an absolute disgrace! Most drivers in London now seem to think orange means "put your foot down", and red means "I only have 5 seconds to go!". And don't get me started on the idiots blocking junctions and roundabouts and causing bloody mayhem for everyone else. They've spent all that money on cameras and it doesn't seem to have made a difference...

            Oh..

            You're talking about cyclists

            Not drivers of cars and HGVs that regularly kill pedestrians?

            Have pity. It's a sign of weakness, not a threat*. The ones that constantly RLJ are the ones that aren't fit

            enough for a proper interval workout.

            * on the whole. There are, rare, occasions when it makes sense to move ahead of the line to get out of the dangerous blind spot of the HGV that pulled up behind you.

            Other places doubtless have comparable problems.</quote>

            Lots of places have comparable problems to London with respect to air pollution and hit and run drivers; places with decent cycling infrastructure|high cyling mode share tend to have less.

            But yeah. Shared use paths are stupid and counterproductive except in very low usage situations. It should be "Pedestrianised; considerate cycling allowed" [ which, e.g. Regents Canal is. But without any enforcement, these kind of regulations tend not to be worth...]

          2. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

            Re: @Commswonk

            > It is also worth remembering that London cyclists* have a fearsome

            > reputation for scattering pedestrians by "furious cycling" on pavements,

            > which is quite simply against the law in the first place. Oh and ignoring red lights...

            Meh. I drive a car, ride a motorbike and ride a pushbike. Every day I see others doing one of these things who are acting like dicks, for some reason or another. But I don't wax on about "car drivers" as a group doing this or motorcyclists as a group doing that. Maybe the clue is in the numbers - 2% of journeys by cycle, it's just a small enough segment that cyclists can be classified as "them" by the rest of the population.

            In 20 years of riding in London I would say I see cyclists on pavements rarely. It's rare because it's inherently slower - if you are commuting from A to B then the pavement is the slowest place to be. Sure, it happens, but it's the exception rather than the rule, and as I said there are dicks on all forms of transport.

            As for jumping red lights - absoutely, if the situation calls for it and it can be done without endangering anyone. My primary goal whenever I get on two wheels is to get to where I'm going alive. If that means clearing the lights before everyone starts to accelerate around me, or when they pull 5m ahead then hard turn left, then damn right I'll do it. Note this is a "look, ensure it's clear then go", not a "plow wildly through a pedestrian crossing" type of light running. Yes, again, that happens, and I refer you to my above comment about dicks.

            1. x 7

              Re: @Commswonk

              "As for jumping red lights - absoutely, if the situation calls for it and it can be done without endangering anyone"

              you dickhead

              1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

                @x 7

                > you dickhead

                Care to expand on exactly why you think this? Did you note that I ensure no-one else is put at risk before doing so? So what exactly is the nature of my dickheadary: that I am prioritising my safety over the law? Does flouting the law make me a dickhead regardless of circumstance? Would your opinion still apply if I was cycling in paris?

                1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

                  Re: @Commswonk

                  And incidentally, there are some (not many) pavements in London which are dual use for cyclists and pedestrians. Here's one on Chelsea Embankment (zoom in on the blue sign). Again, this is not a license for cyclists to behave like dickheads, and nor is it a license for pedestrians to "swing a big stick" or push it in their spokes (that last one @x 7).

                  As always it comes down to the golden rule: don't be a dick. Play nicely with others, and don't assume they will play nicely with you.

                  1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                    Re: @Commswonk

                    Again, this is not a license for cyclists to behave like dickheads, and nor is it a license for pedestrians to "swing a big stick" or push it in their spokes (that last one @x 7).

                    If cyclists are free to use a potentially lethal weapon, why the fuck shouldn't pedestrians be allowed to hit back with arguably a more feeble weapon? Why should lycra-clad lunatics be free to terrorise with impunity?

                2. x 7

                  Re: @x 7

                  " Does flouting the law make me a dickhead regardless of circumstance? "

                  YES!!!!!!

                  Shooting red lights is a stupid dangerous thing to do. Just because YOU can't see the danger doesn't mean there isn't any. Theres that pedestrian you haven't seen, the motorbike you missed, the blue light ambulance thats overtaking stopped traffic. Red lights are there for a reason - riding through them just proves you're an arrogant self-obsessed pillock.

                  As for Paris? I haven't a clue, means nothing to me, lets the frogs be frogs. But you are clearly not in France

                  1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

                    Re: @x 7

                    At risk of dragging this one out, you've missed an important half of the point I'm trying to make.

                    If sitting still on the bike at the lights and trundling forward in traffic it goes green was a zero-risk option, I would agree with you. But it is demonstrably not. Cyclists are at risk at lights, this is a statisticlly undeniable and self-evident truth for anyone that has ever ridden a bike once in heavy traffic. They're at risk because

                    * they're slower to accelerate than the vehicles around them

                    * they have less rubber in contact with the ground, making them more sensitive to surface conditions (manhole covers, drainage grills etc)

                    * because they wobble at low speeds due to, you know, the laws of physics

                    * because god didn't see fit to bless us with crumple zones

                    * because traffic lights are a great place for drivers to catch up on their texting or breakfast

                    * and because plenty of otherwise decent folk seem to think that cyclists are vermin and all should answer for the sins of the few. "lycra-clad lunatic", very good pompous git, thank you for underlining my point.

                    It's all about reducing risk. On a bike, rolling slowly through a red to turn left (to repeat, after a careful look, a feat which I have to tell you is not actually impossible), my carefully considered judgement is that it raises the risk to no-one and reduces the risk to me. If that makes me self-obsessed, I can live with that.

                    1. x 7

                      Re: @x 7

                      cyclists are at risk, period. But much of that risk comes from failure to adhere to the rules put there to protect them. Much of the remaining risk comes from cyclists own stupidity. Turn left on a red light? What happens to the pedestrian trying to cross? What happens to the traffic approaching from the right that you've missed, like that motorbike you didn't see? What happens if the car you've just undercut gets the green light and also turns left? Yes, that's you in the gutter, dead.

                      There is more as well. Why should I, as a law abiding road user feel any empathy toward you when I see you acting as a big headed self centred idiot with no adherence to safety laws? I'm more than to say "f*** you" and let you take the risk rather than try to avoid you......If you don't abide by the rules, why should other road users abide by them?

                      As for your "carefully considered judgement", all you've proved is that you have the judgement of an ass. That's why rules and laws exist: because most people like you have to be protected from their own judgement.

        2. Stu Mac

          Re: @Commswonk

          Don't forget children, always reverse back over them, just to make sure.

          This suggestion that cyclists should have any special treatment is particularly sickening. Particularly when undertaking, sit in the queue or take your chances, like everyone else. Reference: Motorcyclists

          1. Lobrau

            Re: @Stu Mac

            The primary cause of motorcycle accidents where it isn't the fault of the rider is being shunted from behind at stops and traffic lights. If you filter between stationary traffic then this obviously can't happen to you, hence the reason we do it.

            The same can be said for cyclists. Their cross-section from behind is considerably smaller than most motorbikes so they've got no chance if someone isn't paying full attention. At least bikers have their armour.

            I'd be lying if I said it's not also nice to get ahead of the traffic though.

            1. x 7

              Re: @Stu Mac

              "The primary cause of motorcycle accidents where it isn't the fault of the rider is being shunted from behind at stops and traffic lights"

              where does that statistic come from? I thought it was generally accepted the primary risk has always been idiot car drivers pulling out at T-junctions without looking.........

              1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                Re: @Stu Mac

                The failure of motorists to detect and recognize motorcycles in traffic is the predominating cause of motorcycle accidents. The driver of the other vehicle involved in collision with the motorcycle did not see the motorcycle before the collision, or did not see the motorcycle until too late to avoid the collision.

                From the Hurt Report, a motorcycle safety study conducted in the United States, initiated in 1976 and published in 1981. The report is named after its primary author, Professor Harry Hurt.

                http://www.webbikeworld.com/Motorcycle-Safety/Hurt-study-summary.htm

      3. WolfFan Silver badge

        The local cyclists used to misbehave on a certain pathway in a local park. Until, that is, enough of them learned (the hard way) that Mrs WolfFan has been known to be in that area, accompanied by Redrum the Attack Chiuhua and his BFF, Maragret Hilda the wolf. The Baroness really is a wolf. A very nice wolf, except when some idiot on a bike tries to run over another member of the pack, in this case Mrs. WolfFan or Redrum. Then she becomes quite irate. If the cyclist tried to run her over, Redrum would become quite irate, which would be worse. Redrum thinks that he's a wolf, too, and is a firm believer in not taking prisoners. Those who fail to take him seriously usually have second thoughts when the Baroness comes looking for her friend, unless they're one of the cats, the Baroness likes the cats, too, and lets them sleep on her. Redrum hates cats but can't do much about it as he's smaller than they are. This really annoys him. His being annoyed amuses the cats, but they in turn don't actually swat Redrum 'cause that would probably make the Baroness irate. The Baroness never actually bites anyone, she's a very nice wolf, much nicer than a greengrocer's daughter you may have heard of. She doesn't have to. A good look at her when she's irate tends to improve the behavior even of cyclists. Or cats.

        1. ChrisBedford

          Well that was an incredibly rambling comment

          "[...]enough of them learned (the hard way) that Mrs WolfFan has been known to be in that area, accompanied by Redrum the Attack Chiuhua and his BFF, Maragret Hilda the wolf[...]"

          (and so on). Sorry, dozed off. Umm, your point was...?

      4. Gray
        Devil

        Impediment?

        I've thought that most Brits carry umbrellas when out & about. A frightened gesture by a bumbershoot-packing pedestrian might find the collapsible device 'speared' through the bicyclist's wheel, thus precipitously impeding the velocipede's progress. A chastened peddler is apt to proceed more prudently?

      5. Warm Braw

        Those that actually have bells rarely ring them in sufficient time

        I find that ringing a bell is usually counterproductive - if you have a group of pedestrians blithely blocking the path and paying no attention to the world around them, ringing a bell just causes them to to move in random directions leaving the path equally blocked but with everyone in a different position.

      6. jcitron

        I agree. As someone who used to cycle weekly, and sometimes daily in good weather, I will say that not all of riders are like that; just a lot of them do act that way and in particular mostly those that wear those skimpy shorts!

        We have a group of riders in my area that takes to the road on most good weekends through out the spring and summer. When they take to the roads, it should really be they take the road and all streets in their path. If there are any cars that ride a bit too close, and in many places here the roads are mere farm lanes so there's no way of getting out of the way, they will start throwing stuff and yelling loudly and if the cars pass them too fast they will sometimes throw stuff at the vehicles.

        I hate to say it, but it's the behavior like this that makes car drivers hostile towards the bikers.

        Let's face it, It's a two-way street, pun intended! :-)

  3. Ben Rose

    Trains next?

    Would be great to ban lycra shorts on there...the bikes too.

  4. adnim
    Joke

    All because the lady...

    love's Milk Tray can't avert her gaze.

  5. Roo
    Windows

    Presumably they would prefer old school moth-eaten Merino shorts instead. :)

    1. Warm Braw

      The notice actually seems simply to be encouraging the removal of the offending garment...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        The really offensive ones are nearly impossible to remove.

    2. Spoonguard
      Coat

      Shorts?

      They where trousers once

  6. Johnny Canuck

    Jeggings?

    What about jeggings - are they OK? Might be a bit sexist.

    1. x 7

      Re: Jeggings?

      WTF is a jegging?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    OK, now I am reminded of...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBwly6Qa5oo

    Just say yes to Tap and no to Lycra bike shorts!

  8. fidodogbreath
    Coffee/keyboard

    Hat tip to El Reg

    ...for its massive image library, bulging with pics of mundane objects that resemble man-tackle.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "[...] and that's not appropriate for children to see"

    Translated that means "Some parents don't want to answer their kids' questions about the human body".

    Do they also ban women with nipple bumps showing? Floppy smocks needed for women to hide their natural protuberances?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      women with nipple bumps showing

      Camel toe?

    2. P. Lee

      There's a reason we don't eat in group nudity and the same reason applies to men wearing lycra.

      You can wear the lycra, just add something over the top.

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge

        There's a reason we don't eat in group nudity

        Presumably it's because where you live the cold makes your cock shrivel. Here in the Antipodes it's often as hot as the hinges of hell. We might not be completely nude while dining in 40C+, but we're often as close as... Just avert your eyes when looking at blokes and focus on the pretty young women. It's not hard. Unless you've inadvertently taken Viagra having mistaken it for your beta blocker ;-)

    3. Mark 65

      Translated that means "Some parents don't want to answer their kids' questions about the human body".

      Might also mean that when someone is out having a nice lunch they don't want to be faced with some fatty sweaty lycra-clad pillock's teensy cheesy rollback staring at them from within a pair of shorts that would probably fit a 10 year old rather than the middle-aged born-again tour-de-suburb speedster sporting them. Your mileage may vary but I consider such people on licensed premises to be inconsiderate arseholes.

  10. BurnT'offering

    Personally

    When I am sitting down to a tasty breakfast of a sausage and a couple of scotch eggs, I don't want to see anything that reminds me of male genitalia

    1. John H Woods Silver badge

      Re: Personally

      "When I am sitting down to a tasty breakfast of a sausage and a couple of scotch eggs, I don't want to see anything that reminds me of male genitalia" --- BurnT'offering

      So you eat it blindfold? Or in the dark?

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