back to article Apple stuns world with Donald Trump iPhone

Shy and modest Apple today unveiled a pair of small iPhones and iPads for people with itty-bitty hands. The Cupertino slinger of iStuffs summoned hacks to a brief hour-long conference in California to unveil the four-inch iPhone SE handset as well as a 9.7-inch iPad Pro slab. Both are powered by the now-available iOS 9.3 …

Page:

  1. Mark 85
    Pint

    You scared the codpiece right off me....

    That headline to make us think that Apple was bringing one out with his picture or sub-brand on it. Whew.... Time to settle my nerves ---------------->

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    As a casual hater, I'm not very familiar with Apple's product line, but all those models are really starting to blend together now.

    1. Robin

      re: Blending

      Unlike these?

      (I use both so consider myself fairly neutral)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good phone makers start to recognize there's a market for 4" devices...

    ... people using also other devices may like smaller phones less intrusive in your trousers pockets, as Dabbs sharply pointed out...

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Good phone makers start to recognize there's a market for 4" devices...

      Aye. I have a Sony Z3 Compact, but even that has a 4.7" screen and is quite a bit wider than an iPhone 5.

      We all have different preference and compromises, but it'd be good to have a choice.

    2. gollux
      Joke

      Re: Good phone makers start to recognize there's a market for 4" devices...

      Smaller, less foldable phones is a good idea. Also makes it more impressive when they shoot 8" flames. Nothin' lights better than a Ronson...

      1. monkeyfish

        Re: Good phone makers start to recognize there's a market for 4" devices...

        I've got an s5 mini, which isn't exactly mini either. I miss the size of my old HTC with a 3.7 inch screen, but for all the choice you get with Android, it's basically just choosing between one nearly identical phone or another. Flagship 4 incher, yes please. Hopefully Samsung will fire up the copy machines before I want a new one.

        1. David Paul Morgan
          Happy

          Re: Good phone makers start to recognize there's a market for 4" devices...

          when I was between handsets, I had to use my HTC Desire - too small for me now, (He's 55, you know...?) if compared to my Z1Compact & now Xperia Z3 Compact, which seems to be the optimum.

          It just seems to me that all iDevices are the 'wrong shape' somehow.

      2. macjules

        Re: Good phone makers start to recognize there's a market for 4" devices...

        That would be the iPhone 6 'bendy' edition then, coupled with the iFire lighter attachment.

  4. Mike Timbers

    IOS 9.3 delivers lots of benefits IF you have a 5S or better otherwise you get pretty much nothing at all. No Nightshift, no secure Notes, nothing.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      If you keep your Notes and other things on a non-Apple cloud like a WebDAV server you won't get "secure" Notes either. I'm putting quotes around it because I'm not yet sure just how they are protected, and thus how safe they really are.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Imagine Siri with the Donald Trump option...

    It would say random things, and then start insulting you.

    Then it would start a nuclear war with Canada.

    1. Adam 1

      Re: Imagine Siri with the Donald Trump option...

      ... and make them pay for it!

    2. Tom 7

      Re: Imagine Siri with the Donald Trump option...

      And it wouldnt be even slightly related to what you say.

      So no change there then.

    3. macjules

      Re: Imagine Siri with the Donald Trump option...

      That would be Tay. Followed up by, 'my mom Cortana says we are going to build a wall across 'Merica and every Mexican Windows user is gonna pay for it'.

  6. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Was El Reg invited to the event?

  7. Keven E

    30 seconds of my life...

    ... skimming this article... I'll never get them back. Even the tech was promoting a empty shell.

    Feeling pretty much the same as every time I hear the man's name just before some ifoolishness, iarrogance, <insert issue>.

    I'll guess Shaun is getting an extra per click bonus subsidized by the Duck of Arrogant himself.

    1. Grikath

      Re: 30 seconds of my life...

      Umm.. what did you expect? There hasn't been any articles anywhere on anything seriously new regarding mobile tech in ... months. Minor jiggles, lots of "in a couple of years", but nothing new.

      So whatever new product of any brand will bring is a reshuffling/resizing, half an update, and 200% more Bling/Bloat. And Hype.. Apple is the master of that..

      1. BigAndos

        Re: 30 seconds of my life...

        Yeah, I think the next "big" news in mobile will be when someone manages to turn a concept like Google glass into something practical and desirable. Until then incremental upgrades ahoy!

    2. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      Re: 30 seconds of my life...

      You could have saved another 30 seconds by not posting that comment...

      :)

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Miniature big iPad

    So they invented the large iPad Pro, an improved productivity iPad due to its larger size, and now are peddling the new improved miniaturised iPad Pro. I'm confused.

    What is next, the iPad Pro mini Maxi?

    1. Dwarf

      Re: Miniature big iPad

      Its called product enhancement - keep up with the marketing BS.

      I kind of think that the idea of miniaturization is getting lost on Apple and the wider industry.

      We used to carry around bricks (Nokia 2110 anyone ?) and everyone got bored and tired doing that. Microelectronics made it possible to make it smaller, so people did and they were generally happy.

      We used to carry around big luggable computers then we miniaturized them into laptops and then into netbooks and tablets to save our backs.

      Then someone had a bright idea of merging them together - a larger phone so you don't need a tablet

      Then some other company decided that we need to make the computer like the phone like the tablet and tried to shoe horn it all into one, because squashing the good things together must make a great thing - right ?.

      Either someone put something into the water at that point or something went horribly wrong (like Marketing started reading the same articles)

      Dear Apple.

      I'd like a phone that isn't huge and can go in my pocket without me looking like I'm really happy.

      I'd also like a machine with a bigger screen, say around the size of a book for when I want to read stuff, like when I'm on the train.

      I also want a bigger one again for when I want to do productivity stuff and I need a keyboard and to see lots of information.

      One size fits nobody and there is always a compromise somewhere..

      Microsoft - you might also want to consider this too as you seem to have taken the same mind bending substance with the drive to make a single operating system for different needs.

      Can we please have one perfect (or even good enough) thing for each job, a bit like a screwdriver is good for screws and a hammer is good for nails. There is a reason that nobody made the HamDriver as it just doesn't work.

      1. MrDamage Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Miniature big iPad

        But if the Hamdriver doesn't work, who'll deliver the bacon to the store for us to consume?

      2. L05ER
        Facepalm

        Re: Miniature big iPad

        i give you the hammer drill (or rotary hammer as mine calls itself) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hammer_drill

        not to be confused with the impact driver... which is somewhat similar.

        despite your claim, both actually work very well for their respective uses. admittedly you would never use either (in its main use mode) with a screw.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Miniature big iPad

          "...you would never use either (in its main use mode) with a screw."

          Yes you would a manual impact driver often comes with just screwdriver bits that are made just for releasing difficult screws.

          http://www.amazon.co.uk/Draper-Expert-22322-12-Piece-Screwdriver/dp/B0001K9R8U

          1. MonkeyCee

            Re: Miniature big iPad

            Last week I swapped a door out for old one from our neighbors.

            This involved removing hinges from both doors, and then putting the current ones on the replacement door.

            The screws being removed where flatheads, been attached for 10+ years, and so not terribly amenable to being removed.

            A third came out with a screwdriver and a lot of swearing. Tools used: screwdriver and molegrip

            Next third came out after some persuasion from a simplified impact driver. In other words, a screwdriver being whacked by a hammer. Tools used: screwdriver and hammer.

            Then the remaining bastards got drilled out. Tools used: drill on non-hammer settings.

            So there you go, utilising screws using a hammer.

            I also tend to drive screw+wallplug in with a hammer first, and have been known to utilise it as a brummie/polack screwdriver at times.

            Mark "metal basher" Vries.

      3. James Cullingham

        Re: Miniature big iPad

        I think you'll find it's called a Birmingham screwdriver (https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Birmingham_screwdriver)

      4. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Miniature big iPad

        >I'd also like a machine with a bigger screen, say around the size of a book for when I want to read stuff, like when I'm on the train. ...

        >Microsoft - you might also want to consider this too

        The crazy thing is, Microsoft had a prototype years ago that was the size of a thin paperback that opened out to reveal two screens. It was called the 'Courier', and rumour is that Bill Gates told Ballmer to kill it. Obviously it wasn't suitable for watching films, but would have been very good at collating and annotating information, and making notes and sketches. It would also be the perfect companion to a 4" phone.

        I really want a jacket-pocket sized tablet with high-end stylus for making sketches on the go (and of course, CAD allows sketches to become virtual models, force diagrams, rapid iterations, whatever). Think a iPad Mini Pro, but I don't care who makes it as long as the screen and digitiser are up to par.

        It's interesting to note that Apple's Marc Newson has always recorded his initial concepts on a conventional A5 notepad (you don't need acres of space to sketch the essence of a concept - you can expand upon it later when you're back at your desk). Jony Ive isn't much of a computer user either - he prefers sketches and hand-formed materials at the initial design stage.

        Of course designers have niche needs (greater than twittering or watching movies), which is why MS killed the Courier, and why Apple never bothered (before the iPad Pro) to step on Wacom's toes with something like a stylus-driven MacBook.

        Interesting times.

        1. Pedigree-Pete

          Re: Miniature big iPad

          I had the same thought about Kindle. A double sided Kindle hinged like a book would cut down the double page turn required a possibly illicit more £$€ from the user base. PP

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Miniature big iPad

        I for one would love to purchase five different machines and carry two or three around all of the time

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Miniature big iPad

          If you are happy to accept a compromise, then that's your choice.

          Nobody said all of them had to be carried around all the time either ..

    2. Nattrash

      Re: Miniature big iPad

      I may be female, but not really looking for developments that include MaxiPads coming from Cupertino....

    3. paulsk

      Re: Miniature big iPad

      and the marketing idiot at apple reckons it's a replacement for a notebook, they get dafter by the minute

  9. Mage Silver badge
    Joke

    maybe next year ...

    They will discover there is also a market for candy bars, flip, sliders and BB style QWERTY.

    Not everyone wants a slab with only a touch screen.

    What's wrong with choice? Even Ford eventually did cars in colors other than Black.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: maybe next year ...

      "Even Ford eventually did cars in colors other than Black."

      Opposite of what actually happened. The model T started off in multiple colours, it was reduced to black only to cut the price a bit.

      1. Nifty Silver badge

        Re: maybe next year ...

        Which made me wonder, was Henry Ford the most disruptive product developer ever?

        1. anonymous boring coward Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: maybe next year ...

          Doubt it. Especially since cars were a very niche product (and the rich would still order the expensive luxury cars). When it comes to massive impact my vote goes to something like:

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spinning_jenny

      2. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

        Re: maybe next year ...

        I'm pretty sure you can get Fords in other colours than black today?

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: maybe next year ...

      "Not everyone wants a slab with only a touch screen."

      Especially the blind.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: maybe next year ...

        >They will discover there is also a market for candy bars,

        These are widely available and cheap.

        >flip, sliders and BB style QWERTY.

        Get on Kickstarter then - easy enough to test the waters. If portable text input really is your thing, a phone case incorporating a Microwriter-style chorded keyboard would be a very good solution (and cheap to prototype and manufacture). The only downside would be the learning curve, but typing speeds faster than a small QWERTY would soon be achieved. It would also be suitable for blind users, and discreet note taking.

        As for a BB style keyboard... give it a year or two and see if BB's hardware IP gets licensed out.

  10. Pomgolian
    Joke

    iPhone SE

    So.. what's SE an acronym for? Small Edition?

    1. djstardust

      Re: iPhone SE

      Seriously expensive?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: iPhone SE

      in all seriousness Apple have traditionally used SE as "Special Edition" for quite a while

      http://lowendmac.com/1987/mac-se/ (SE4/40) and later http://lowendmac.com/1999/400-mhz-imac-dv-se-late-1999/ (iMac DVSE)

      the iPhoneSE on the definitions hosted at LEM should probably be iPhoneSE2000/16000

      Apply is trying to make me upgrade but I carefully found a new Chinese iP5C1000/32000 on Amazon.fr >100 euros cheaper than the iPSE asking price of €450-510 in europe. That'll do me, ymmv.

    3. paulsk

      Re: iPhone SE

      Sad Egoist

  11. Nastybirdy

    Night Shift? Guess that explains why they wouldn't let f.lux onto the app store. Well, let's see if it's any good....

  12. Shades
    FAIL

    "Marketing boss Phil Schiller made a point of poking fun at what he estimates to be 600 million Windows PCs that have been in use for five or more years. "That's really sad," he remarked, "these people could really benefit from an iPad Pro."

    What really is sad is comments like that from marketing cockwombles. The iPad Pro offers me, and probably many others like me, absolutely nothing that I can't already do on a cheaper and older windows laptop that is a far more convenient package for my uses (my old Samsung NC10 is still in use, for work, 4 nights a week!). I was beginning to warm to Apple (well, their laptops at least) but it's comments like that, from the very people that are supposed to be seducing people like me, which make me want to dig my heels in with even greater resolve. Sell your products on their merits Phil, keep your sad little jibes to yourself.

    1. Mark 65

      Yep, 'cos my ever increasing photo collection is so easily stored on some poxy little device with only 128GB storage. Anyone who thinks that iCloud (or any cloud) is a viable solution to that issue can go lick my left one.

    2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      The resistance to windows 10

      I think apple was taking a little jibe at MS here.

      They have seen a lot of people move away from windows to both Macs and iPads.

      sort of just saying

      When you are fed up to the back teeth with Windows, come on by and take a look at what we offer.

      You are right in that there are cheaper alternatives but for the unwashed massed esp in the USA who shop at places like 'Best Buy' there is not much on offer that isn't Windows 10 or Apple. Much like PC-World really.

      The reality is that many of the people who currently use a windows PC could do what they want with a tablet, be it Android or Apple.

      Now, if Apple were to start putting out adverts showing this then your statement will have a lot more validity. Until then, it will probably amount to very little at all.

      YMMV

      1. paulsk

        Re: The resistance to windows 10

        or even on a windows tablet or 2 in 1 - the vast majority of what iSheep do on their iPads can be achieved on a windows 2 in 1 for half the price!

    3. DocJames
      Mushroom

      Snide remarks

      "Marketing boss Phil Schiller made a point of poking fun at what he estimates to be 600 million Windows PCs that have been in use for five or more years. "That's really sad," he remarked, "these people could really benefit from an iPad Pro."

      Yes indeedy Phil; everyone has a few hundred spare bucks burning a hole in their pocket. Fuck off with your distorted world view assuming everyone else is just like you (and me, for that matter) with spare cash to splash on nonessential items. If you want to help many of these people benefit from an iPad Pro perhaps you should lower the profit margins and slow the product cycle? Didn't think so.

Page:

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like