back to article Triple-murderer prisoner keeps mobile phone in his butt for a week

An inmate of an Australian jail is on hunger strike in order to retain possession of a mobile phone he's kept inside his anus for up to a week. The inmate is believed to be Kon Georgiou, a convicted triple-murderer doing a long stretch inside Goulburn Jail's “Super Max” unit. That facility is reserved for the worst of the …

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  1. Ole Juul

    What's the number?

    /evil grin

    1. Henry Minute

      Re: What's the number?

      Are you intending to ring his ring?

    2. DrXym

      Re: What's the number?

      He's probably got it set to vibrate.

      1. Bob Vistakin
        Facepalm

        Re: What's the number?

        At least it answers Orlowskis recent question - "nope - another is being created in the usual way ready for production as we speak".

  2. Streaker

    The inmate is believed to be Kon Georgiou, a convicted triple-murderer doing a long stretch inside .......

    Ha ha ha

    S

    1. IsJustabloke
      Meh

      Re Shit recpetion

      I bet he still gets better reception than I do on vodafone....

    2. TRT Silver badge

      If it's an iPhone 6+..

      It'll be a wide stretch as well.

      1. Tom 7

        Re: If it's an iPhone 6+..

        Shouldnt that be an iEeeeeeearghmmmphone 6+?

        1. TRT Silver badge

          Re: Shouldnt that be an iEeeeeeearghmmmphone 6+?

          Also known as a "Jesus!!!!mobe"?

  3. Martin Summers Silver badge

    What about "Shit reception" or "talking out of his arse" jokes. Best I can do.

    I'm posting really to say thank you to all my fellow commentards over the last few years who have agreed with and upvoted me, enough to earn a silver badge sometime last night. Thanks!

    1. AndrueC Silver badge
      Joke

      Well at least they've got to the bottom of it.

    2. David 132 Silver badge
      Coat

      Does the phone have a "motion" detector?

      You'd think by now they'd sphincter check there for phones.

      Anyway, without a SIM it's for e-merde-gency calls only.

      And that's the best I can do. It's late.

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

    4. MyffyW Silver badge

      @Martin_Summers have an upvote hun, I got my silver badge last night too, so a big thank you fellow commentards from me as well.

      In terms of bottom-jokes the best I can manage is:

      "This is one of the most compelling use cases I can think of for the JCB Tradesman 2"

      1. TRT Silver badge

        I'm wondering...

        if he's tired yet of fellow inmates saying they'd like to send a message to their mum and can they use their dictaphone?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I'm wondering...

          Perhaps the warden is waiting for him to develop a case of Dial-arreha?

          Tadush boom

    5. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Love the honesty

    “Frankly, I'm happy for him to rot there until the phone is passed.”

    If only the English were as forthright when it came to making statements. In the UK we'd hire a PR firm, to make a statement after consulting lawyers as to whether there were any potential implications to his EU mandated human rights.

    I do have an interesting question though. Where's the charger for all these phones in prison ? Or do they standardise the model and have charged batteries smuggled in, I think we should be told.

    1. JetSetJim

      Re: Love the honesty

      Equally, if it was here the prisoner would be straight in to the EU court of human rights, and would probably win.

      Interestingly, all that's happened is a metal detector has gone "ping", so it may not be a phone (even if that's the most likely item of contraband to make the detector go "ping").

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Love the honesty

        Ah but what would he win, the right to have a phone up his arse? He probably has a right to communication, whether that involves flexibility and talking up his arse would probably be debated at great expense.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Love the honesty

          If he wants a mobile phone up there, I think he should be allowed, nay, forced to.

          http://www.fulldhamaal.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/173033mobiratalkman-slide.jpg

    2. Graham Hawkins

      Re: Love the honesty

      You could only charge it once it's been discharged...

    3. Jess

      Re: EU mandated human rights

      Would you be referring to the EHCR that was set up after WW2 (hoping to prevent more things like the holocaust) that we were instrumental in, and even Russia has signed up to?

      True the EU requires members to be signed up to it, but we were, well before we joined the EU.

      Seems like someone has believed misinformation from someone with an agenda.

      Just like most of the complaints about the EU, things that aren't up to the EU and we have messed up ourselves .(And we are always the only country with that problem too.)

      Back on topic - for hunger strikers, perhaps they should just deliver a nice pizza to the cell to test their resolve.

      1. 1Rafayal

        Re: EU mandated human rights

        No, they are probably referring to the Human Rights Act from 1998...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Mandated human rights

          I think Jess is right here, the rights concerned are not from the EU but the European Convention on Human Rights (which was mostly written by a British subject)..

          I'm also pretty sure the statement made by the Australian Minister doesn't contravene them and is one ministers in other ECHR countries might make. I think the concern with PC statements is largely a British one.

          Unrelated trivia: I believe in Belgium a prisoner had the right to escape but they are not allowed to do anything illegal to facilitate that escape. So they can't knock out a guard, or blow a whole in the wall but they could run away or climb over a fence.

          1. 1Rafayal

            Re: Mandated human rights

            Of course the Australian minister isn't contravening them. Australia isnt party to the ECHR.

            This is mainly down to Australia not being in Europe.

            Next up, the Human Rights Act 1998 are the laws made to enshrine the ECHR within British laws. I am paraphrasing that bit from the Labour party, they are the ones responsible for creating it as part of their manifesto pledge in the 1997 UK elections.

            And of course, it wasn't written by a British subject, but instead by all 12 members of the council of Europe at that time. If it had been written by the British, it would make actual sense.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Mandated human rights

              "British MP and lawyer Sir David Maxwell-Fyfe, the Chair of the Assembly's Committee on Legal and Administrative Questions, was one of its leading members and guided the drafting of the Convention. "

              I didn't mean to imply that he was solely responsible.

              Australia doesn't have to sign up for one of its citizens to say something which contravenes the convention... but I think you know that.....

              1. 1Rafayal

                Re: Mandated human rights

                you can only contravene an agreement if you have agreed to it. As Australia hasnt agreed to the European Convention for Human Rights then nothing has been contravened.

                I used the full title there, just so you know its to do with Europe. Which still doesnt include Australia.

                And Maxwell-Fyfe was just part of the process, he didnt "mostly write" it, you know like you said he did in your anon post.

            2. h4rm0ny

              Re: Mandated human rights

              >>"If it had been written by the British, it would make actual sense."

              No, if it had been written by the British it would be one page, mostly blank, with "Theresa May Can Do What She Likes" written at the top.

        2. Jess

          Re: Human Rights Act from 1998

          Which is pretty much just the same thing, but moved into British Law so British judges rule on it rather than having to got to ECHR.

    4. Cynical Observer
      Coat

      Re: Love the honesty

      @Philip Clarke

      Where's the charger for all these phones in prison ?

      Presume they would use a butt plug?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Love the honesty

        Seems that Trevor Baylis may have missed the opportunity for a wind up phone.

        1. Kevin Brown 1

          Re: Love the honesty

          gas turbine surely?

    5. TwistUrCapBack

      Re: Love the honesty

      "I do have an interesting question though. Where's the charger for all these phones in prison ? Or do they standardise the model and have charged batteries smuggled in, I think we should be told."

      They usually smuggle in a small usb charging cable which they then connect up to the communal wing playstation or whatever to charge their phones ..

      Apparently

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Love the honesty

        Lol... They dont have playstations in Australian gaols (That's how you spell "jail" in the Queen's English), or anything else accommodating a USB. But they do have electricity, so they would need the complete charger.

        Glad to see there are few jokes about us all being convicts... Some of us are turning the keys now!! :)

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Love the honesty

      I do have an interesting question though. Where's the charger for all these phones in prison ?

      I'm more interested in who they can presently convince to hook up that specific phone to a charger :).

      1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

        Re: Love the honesty

        I'm more interested in who they can presently convince to hook up that specific phone to a charger :).

        Causing a connect spark in that specific environment may amount to "cruel and unusual punishment", though. On the plus side, the wait for spontaneous evacuation would certainly be over..

        :)

    7. rototype

      Re: Love the honesty

      In all actuality they probably leave them switched OFF most of the time, partly to preserve battery power and partly to avoid detection. If they're only using them for the occasional weekly ET then the battery should last for a couple of months before going flat, by which time it would generally have been found and confiscated - thus meaning they probably wouldn't have any need for a charger.

      On another note, they'd probably only leave them on Vibrate if they enjoyed that sort of thing.

  5. Mark 85
    Coat

    So any phone calls will be from Earth to Uranus?

    1. TRT Silver badge

      There's a whole galaxy inside Uranus.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        There's a whole galaxy inside Uranus.

        Thank God they come in a wrapper.. :)

  6. Sir Barry

    Butt

    This is butt dialing taken to a (w)hole new level.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Australia - The biggest open nick in the world (obligatory Australian prison joke as told by me to every Australian I have ever known and it is always received with it's intention of being just fun)

    Apparently it's an iPhone they asked Tim Cook to remove it so he wrote an open letter about the privacy of apple users and how he respected their collective arseholes and that be would not breach their walled garden,

    1. AndrueC Silver badge
      Joke

      Apparently it's an iPhone

      So someone is finally holding it properly?

      1. Scroticus Canis
        Thumb Up

        @AndrueC - new keyboard please

        Uppies for you even if my keyboard now looks like it has had the rectal treatment.

    2. Cynical Observer
      Trollface

      iPhone....

      Bet he's glad it's got rounded corners.

  8. Steve 114

    Nokia was there first

    I used to covet a Nokia mobile that looked like an oversize Minox C. Didn't know at the time where they'd probably been holstered.

  9. Graham Hawkins

    Ring ring....

    That's all.

  10. Potemkine Silver badge

    Technology never ceases to amaze me

    Is this some new way to recharge batteries?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Technology never ceases to amaze me

      Alas not it a new test of fartpay.

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