back to article City of London cops in Christmas karaoke crackdown shocker

The City of London Police will spend the festive period wading through 1000s of karaoke classics after it “dismantled a gang” suspected of uploading tens of thousands of voiceless backing tracks from the likes of Beyonce, Gaga, Kanye and Kylie. The arrests have sent shockwaves through the UK’s underground karaoke scene, with …

  1. Cheesenough
    Devil

    Jonny Bong

    Is Jonny at all related to Shoreditch Steve Bong?

  2. Chris G

    Christmas cheer

    Nicking a couple of long in the tooth kareoke fans in Lancs and Devon! City of LONDON police showing us they are at work on our behalf.

    I hope they are pursuing with the same zeal the Bankers and Insider Traders on their own patch who are also a threat to the well-being of the economy.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Big Business's Corporate-Controlled "Police" Force Strikes Again!

      Don't blame "LONDON", blame the "CITY OF LONDON". (Read on if you don't get why).

      Anyway, yeah, the City of London Police- again. Strange how the police force covering little more than one of London's 607 square miles (#)- let alone the 93,000 square miles of the UK itself- appears *very* frequently as the one behind stories regarding IP and copyright "offences".

      Okay, so I'm lying- it's not remotely surprising at all when you consider that the square mile "City of London" is the financial district which has countless law-unto-itself special privileges and blatantly undemocratic governance (not just hyperbole or opinion- 21 of its 25 electoral wards are controlled by businesses and corporations in proportion to their size and power).

      I would say that the whole setup is the epitome of corporate corruption- but only in the ethical sense. It's absolutely and constitutionally legal- which makes it worse. And most people aren't even aware of it.

      Remember that we're not talking about any old square mile of the United Kingdom, we're talking about one that's home to some of the most powerful financial interests in the UK, and on the planet. Its effect is far out of proportion to its size- and that includes its police force.

      One might suspect that the police force run by that state-within-a-state haven for vested interests was serving their corporate masters in a blatantly partisan way.... I couldn't possibly comment.

      No, wait, I can- of course they f****** are, and no, they're not going to prosecute those same bankers- do you think they're stupid or something? But they *will* go after a few non-commercial sharers of karaoke files who aren't even on their pinhead-sized "patch".

      (#) Note for foreigners not au fait with the "quaint" use of terminology. The "City of London" should not be confused with the city of "London"; the former is the square-mile sized financial district. The police force for all but this tiny area of London is the separate Metropolitan Police.

  3. Cronus
    Holmes

    Why?

    Why are they investigating if they tried to monetise it if it's immaterial?

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: Why?

      Because they've got to come up with something or they look rather silly. Now they've stuck their foot in it, they might as well do it properly.

    2. Mark 85

      Re: Why?

      Because "sharing=piracy" and is bad if some company doesn't make any money. Simples. But we'll let the bankers off and not put a lot of effort into tracking down the ransomware scum.

    3. phuzz Silver badge

      Re: Why?

      If they can find one instance of one of these guys asking for a donation to cover server costs or something then they can take it out of context and make them out to be hardcore pirates, out to defraud those poor, hard working, record execs. (Musicians? Screw them!)

      Oh, and they'll probably mutter about "funding terrorists" as well.

      1. Loud Speaker

        Re: Why?

        Have you ever listened to Karaoke in the City around Christmas?

        Its enough to terrorise anyone - almost as scary as Traffic Wardens.

    4. SolidSquid

      Re: Why?

      If it's able to be classed as commercial activity then it goes from plain old copyright infringement, where they'll actually have to prove how much was lost by the licencing companies (which will be difficult if the article is accurate and these weren't sold to the public) to commercial copyright infringement which has set penalties and was intended to be used against people selling bootleg CDs and such, plus I believe (although I could be wrong) that it has to be commercial copyright infringement to be classed as a criminal act, and if they can't prove that then the onus is on the licence owners to bring a civil case

      Basically the police are certain the law has been broken, it's just a matter of whether it's civil or criminal, what needs to be proved and what form the fines/charges would take

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Why?

        I still don't quite understand how it's copyright infringement if it's fan-made CD+Gs (remember those?) of songs which aren't published in CD+G format therefore can't be used for Karaoke, commercial scale if it's three oldsters, or commercial activity if it's made freely available.

        Are they a police force or the inquisition? What are they guilty of, attracting their attention while doing something computery?

      2. Intractable Potsherd

        Re: Why?

        "... the police are certain the law has been broken, it's just a matter of whether it's civil or criminal"

        The police should have no part to play in investigating breaches of civil law - that is for those that think they have been affected by it to do; a process known as "suing". The fact that the police are involved means that there is already an assumption that it is criminal.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Why?

      > Why are they investigating if they tried to monetise it if it's immaterial?

      If it's monetised then it's clearly commercial infringement and therefore a criminal offence.

      If it's not monetised they have to convince the court that three older dudes giving away something that's not available elsewhere is "commercial". If they fail then it's a civil matter. Which the BPI would have to pay for.

    6. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Re: Why?

      Why they are investigating? They are not... They are demonstrating to their masters that they earned their salaries, is all...

      This is PIPCU - a Police unit in name but on a payroll of IPO. That's quite official. They are paid by the industry to be a bunch of enforcer thugs for the rights holders.

      So, every now and then they walk down the Internet street, overturning the stalls, smashing windows and breaking legs - as thugs do.

  4. batfastad

    Really?

    Presume the self-styled City of London police have solved all the financial crimes that occur on a daily basis on their patch?

    I don't know about anyone else but I've not paid the film/music cartels a penny for over a decade. How? 2nd hand purchases, thanks to everyones least favourite but monopolistic auction site. And Amazon. Oh and Google. Though I will probably have to start accessing those sites through a proxy soon. Surely they'll be blocked by ISPs soon since they facilitate and monetise piracy on a massive scale.

  5. Commswonk

    What I want to know is...

    ... will the perpetrators finish up in Sing Sing?

    1. BebopWeBop

      Re: What I want to know is...

      They could well do if the good old US of A claims jurisdiction.

  6. Frank Bitterlich
    Terminator

    Costing money? How?

    So, we're talking about tracks that are not available for purchase. Which makes me wonder how "... would still have been costing the legitimate music companies money ..." could be working. Other than general "home taping kills music" arguments.

    Oh, and I call BS on the "legitimate" attribute.

    1. Mage Silver badge

      Re: Costing money? How?

      Indeed people might purchase the full version with the lyrics. I'd have thought that on balance this boosts sales if these lyric / voice free versions are not available. Seems yet again the publishers are missing a trick.

      The creation is copyright violation, requires a civil suit. If there is monetisation, then perhaps there is unpaid VAT, unpaid tax on profits, possible criminal cases for forgery etc ...

    2. SolidSquid

      Re: Costing money? How?

      They might argue that people having access at home would be less likely to go to karaoke bars/nights with legitimate licences, meaning the business case for hosting them is weaker and therefore they sell less licences. Also they might argue that, by the fact that the tracks are available free, there will be less of an incentive for people to buy legitimate licences. Will be a pain in the ass for them to get actual monetary numbers on that though

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Costing money? How?

        "Will be a pain in the ass for them to get actual monetary numbers on that though"

        That's never stopped the industry so far. Didn't you know a single iPod can cause $8billion worth of damage to the industry?

        See the 2012 video on Copyright Math (only 5 ninutes) at

        https://www.ted.com/talks/rob_reid_the_8_billion_ipod?language=en

        and for the sources and references see

        http://blog.ted.com/the-numbers-behind-the-copyright-math/

    3. Robert Helpmann??
      Childcatcher

      Re: Costing money? How?

      ...it was immaterial whether tracks had been monetised or not, as the alleged uploading and distributing would still have been costing the legitimate music companies money...

      'Cause it eats into future and therefor probabilistic profits they will or will not make make when they decide to release the tracks or not. Essentially the argument is this is pre-crime and the offenders should be incarcerated indefinitely given that they will have prevented the copyright owners from making an infinite amount of potential money.

    4. Lamont Cranston

      Re: Costing money? How?

      "uploading and distributing would still have been costing the legitimate music companies money"

      is the same as

      uploading and distributing would not have been making any money for the legitimate music companies

      Apparently. Profit is the be all and end all, apparently - maybe the Ferengi are in charge?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Costing money? How?

        @ Lamont Cranston

        Per the 41st Rule Of Acquisition... "Profit is its own reward."

  7. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    Consequences

    This sort of thing will only serve to drive karaoke underground.

    Good.

  8. DropBear

    "a strong message that this should not and will not be tolerated"

    Funny, no matter how many times I look at that line it reads "please fuck us sideways as many times as possible and definitely do make sure we never, ever, EVER see a goddamn dime from you". No problem there mates, happy to oblige...

  9. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad
    Paris Hilton

    "voiceless backing tracks from the likes of Beyonce, Gaga, Kanye and Kylie"

    So which is a bigger offence here - to offer these tracks with or without vocals?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Childcatcher

    I'm humming "I fought the law and the law won!!"

    But I swear I am not using a backing track!!

    1. BebopWeBop

      Re: I'm humming "I fought the law and the law won!!"

      Hope you are not doing it close to a mobile phone mic - you'll have GCHQ widening their remit next.

  11. ratfox
    Devil

    How can you be arrested for giving something away free for private use, that's not available to buy publicly?

    This is in a nutshell the paradox. On one hand, if it's not yours, you're not allowed to use it, period. On the other hand, if what you are doing literally cannot hurt anybody, why is it forbidden?

    In a way, it's quite close to "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

    1. channel extended

      Yes

      Yes it does. And the music companies own the soundtrack.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Yes

        ...and someone is probably about to trademark it too!

  12. fixit_f

    Shhh - if it keeps the City of London police (the most autocratic and bent police force in the country) occupied then it keeps them off the rest of our backs. Detestable bunch of mini Hitlers.

  13. hi_robb

    Talking of I will survive...

    I woke up last night and thought the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was at the foot of my bed!

    At first I was afraid, I was terrified...

    /Gets coat

  14. Bert 1
    Coat

    That name

    Why are they named after a Penguin?

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