nav search
Data Centre Software Security DevOps Business Personal Tech Science Emergent Tech Bootnotes
BOFH
Lectures

back to article
US gourmets sizzle in bacon-scented underwear

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Stop and Swell!

Shouldn't the wording on the front read "Stop and Swell!"

Your alien overlord - fear me

Is this kosher?

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Lady GaGa and David Cameron have in common ...

... Pork Gonad Coverings.

But very unlikely to be sweet music in the ears of our friends in Jerusalem and Riyadh.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Yeah, you like bacon, I like bacon, now shut up about it and bring me some sausages

The current marketing driven "I love bacon" bandwagon is starting to get a bit tedious. Yeah, bacon is good and all that, but enough already. The ubiquitous bacon-related novelty shite like this isn't even novel by this point, it's just predictable stocking-filler tat.

Honestly, sausages are great as well. Good-quality butcher's pork or beef sausages? Great!... but you don't hear people showing us how fun and devil-may-care they are by going on about their love of sausages, do you? (#) Could it be that the bacon obsessives are mostly just trend-following bandwagon jumpers? Naahhh.... ;-)

(#) If this had been sausage-related underwear, it would also have provided greater opportunity for innuendo.

disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

Re: Yeah, you like bacon, I like bacon, now shut up about it and bring me some sausages

Cumberland or Lincolnshire sausages. None of that flavourless stuff, thankyou very much.

Craig 2
Trollface

Re: Yeah, you like bacon, I like bacon, now shut up about it and bring me some sausages

I was going to respond with a "fun and devil-may-care" post on how much I love sausages, but then I realized I could never cheat on Bacon like that....

thomas k

Re: going on about their love of sausages

C'mon, who doesn't like a good sausage fest?

signed,

devil-may-care

Triggerfish

Re: Yeah, you like bacon, I like bacon, now shut up about it and bring me some sausages

Oh dunno butcher local to me does some lovely pork and leek, pork and tomatoes, and pork and black pudding, etc. The problem is whe always offers a choice of 3 different sausages that he varies daily to accompany the bacon sandwiches he sells. This is not good for the waistline.

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Joke

Re: Yeah, you like bacon, I like bacon, now shut up about it and bring me some sausages

I dunno, if you are your other half are both bacon lovers, these could lead to a good old sausage-fest after their removal...

Mark 85 Silver badge

Re: Yeah, you like bacon, I like bacon, now shut up about it and bring me some sausages

The current marketing driven "I love bacon" bandwagon is starting to get a bit tedious. Yeah, bacon is good and all that, but enough already.

Everything is marketing driven today. Even tech (Apple, for instance). Now all you have to do is get a media-storm going for IT security and that might make some inroads in our field of endeavors.

While you're figuring out how to make some security hype to drive the market, I'll go munch on bacon sarnie.

Little Mouse

Re: Yeah, you like bacon, I like bacon, now shut up about it and bring me some sausages

Apparently some people like to indulge in both Bacon and Sausages. At the same time(!)

In any other age they'd be going straight to Hell, but I like to think that we're able shake off the prejudices of our forebears.

VinceH Silver badge

Re: Yeah, you like bacon, I like bacon, now shut up about it and bring me some sausages

"Honestly, sausages are great as well."

Too right they are. If I had to choose between sausages and bacon, I'd opt for the sausages.

(But both would be better still).

NomNomNom

Re: Yeah, you like bacon, I like bacon, now shut up about it and bring me some sausages

Main problem is that sentient beings are being killed for human entertainment. That's really what bacon is - an entertainment product.

Now unless one happens to disbelieve evolution, humans are not inherently special compared to individuals of other species. We are not the only sentient beings on the planet, even though our culture ingrains in us the concept that non-humans are non-persons, their lives having no value other than to what we assign them. to dispose of for our purposes. The concept of a non-human individual valuing their own life and that being meaningful is alien to our culture.

Imagine a breed of human who are kept in cages from birth and their hair harvested to make coats. They are killed at age 2 and their meat sold to the pet food industry. But is ok because they are killed "humanely" with a quick shot to the head. Some of them are even "free range". The dog food cans have their smiling faces on, because farms are happy places and the farmer loves the children he farms.

John Bailey

Re: Yeah, you like bacon, I like bacon, now shut up about it and bring me some sausages

"Apparently some people like to indulge in both Bacon and Sausages. At the same time(!)"

If the sausages happen to be the dried type.. Does that make them bi cured meat eaters?

BugabooSue
Mushroom

Yum!

Makes a change from fish :)

Pompous Git Silver badge

Re: Yum!

Makes a change from fish :)

But then you don't need to buy fish-scented underwear when your normal undies already smell of fish ;-)

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Whooooosh!

I believe that was roughly the alleged joke being made in the first place...

magickmark
Paris Hilton

Bangers

Brings a whole new meaning to the expression "Makin Bacon"

Yugguy

Not near my dog

Believe me, you would not want to wear these anywhere near my Beagle.

chivo243 Silver badge

Love them both

but bacon and sex just don't go together... maybe one before the other before the other before the other...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge

Re: Love them both

I dunno, the former's good for the morning after the later.

And both are arguably treats that married men don't get so often...

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Re: Love them both

"but bacon and sex just don't go together"

Only because you misspelled "but".

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

We could solve the Syrian crisis

Drop loads of clothing "aid" to ISIS

Then they can shoot each other for not wearing halal pants

Sorted

Triggerfish

Re: We could solve the Syrian crisis

You know for sheer amusement value that sounds pretty good, we could send T-Shirt cannons over and mortar Bacon undies their way.

Mr Dogshit Silver badge

I like

vertical bacon.

JassMan Silver badge
IT Angle

Poor timing

They should have done all their sales before the WHO told us that bacon was carcinogenic.

They may do better with a nice banana (easily reproducible odour), which could be served with appropriately placed plums. And to be really unsubtle they could add some custard (also easily reproducible odour)

IT? because it may be clever technology but it is not information technology.

Charles Manning

$20 undies with free scent

Hence the price $19.99

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

"they should continue to smell like bacon for up to 6 months or even a year"

by which time you're probably due for a change of undies anyway.

jake Silver badge

When I was in the 10th grade ...

... circa mid-1970s-ish, "edible undies" were all the rage amongst teenagers.

Bacon was one option. It was Granny Smith "fruit leather", made in the form of panties, and hung in a smoker with apple wood for half an hour or so (if I remember correctly). Strangely enough, it was quite edible. So was she. Only tried it once. Slippery is good, super-sticky not so much.

Today, if I cared, I could create the same thing as the OA in my smokehouse. Nylon/Rayon (and other plastics) pick up smoke like nobody's business, and it's damned difficult to wash out. The clothes I use when loading the smoker hang in the laundry room, and never enter the house.

The entire Radio 1 playlist commitee
Happy

Pig

The animal that just keeps on giving

NomNomNom

Re: Pig

Animal abuse, ain't it swell

jake Silver badge

@NomNomNom (was:Re: Pig)

I raise my meat animals with tender, loving care. They are happy, non-stressed, have great chow and clean water, comfy living conditions (indoors at night, free-range during the day if they wish), and are healthy for their entire life-span. Some are even allowed to breed.

Then we kill them instantly, take them apart, and eat them. It's a top of the food chain thing.

Note that I'm a trifle less abusive than the average apex predator ... I guess in your mind, we should kill off all the felines and canines[1] on the planet because they are "abusive"? The mind absolutely boggles that a supposed human doesn't actually understand where food comes from.

[1] And SHARKS!!!!!!11!!111111!!

NomNomNom

Re: @NomNomNom (was:Pig)

Doesn't matter how "lovingly" you kill them and tear them apart. they are sentient beings and don't consent to being executed

jake Silver badge

Re: @NomNomNom (was:Pig)

"Doesn't matter how "lovingly" you kill them"

I don't "lovingly" kill them, I "instantly" kill them. Understand the difference?

"and tear them apart."

I don't "tear them apart", I butcher them properly. No wasted meat[0] at this ranch, TUVM. You seem to be having a problem reading for context.

"they are sentient beings"

Post proof or retract ... Oh, wait. That's not a scientific term, it's philosophical, and quite meaningless out side of "angels on a pin" territory.

"and don't consent to being executed"

They aren't executed, not by any stretch of the word. Nor are they capable of even the concept of "giving consent".

I note that you quite carefully refused to answer the canine/feline/shark issue.

[0] Head cheese in the same hog's own appendix curing in my smokehouse as I type. Also in the smoker, the scraps from trimming, the offal & the blood are stuffed into the natural casings for four different kinds of sausage, plus a variety of Haggis in the stomach. The hams have been salted, and are hanging. Pork belly is doing the dry-cure thing in the back of the fridge; proper bacon, also (these will probably both be in the smoker in about ten days). The ears, the trotters & the tail are in the freezer, we'll use those for cooking beans and soups. Most of the lard has been rendered, but the skin is still on the boil. It'll be dehydrated for storage, and then deep-fried in some of the manteca, as needed (Chicharrón, if you're not aware). Nose to tail, it's the only way. Or, if you prefer "everything but the oink".

NomNomNom

Re: @NomNomNom (was:Pig)

They are as sentient as a 6 month old human child. Put it that way. The burden of proof is surely on you to prove they aren't beings of capable awareness to warrant rights.

kiwimuso
FAIL

Re: @NomNomNom (was:Pig)

Jeez Nom, stop prattling on like a complete prat.

As was pointed out, I'm sure the 'victims' of the big cats and other predators, haven't 'consented to being killed and eaten either. And tell me when you consent when a shark takes a bite out of you.

Did you ever go to school? Did you not learn about what eats what in the greater scheme of things? Or do you live in some fairytale, rainbow coloured world only visible in your own tiny mind, where every 'sentient' being holds hands and never, ever thinks of eating one another.

Or are you proposing that we should train the worlds predators to go easy on eating their prey, and maybe all turn vegetarian or something? Grow up, FFS.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

The Register - Independent news and views for the tech community. Part of Situation Publishing