You are in a maze of backup tapes. Press 1 to thank the BOFH for saving you from another boring Maintenance Friday!
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BOFH: Press 1. Press 2. Press whatever you damn well LIKE
"You're the one who wanted it," I tell the Boss in response to his fuming. "I didn't bloody want it at all!" "Yes, you distinctly said you wanted some call screening that would filter out the timewasters who hadn't read the FAQs from the helpdesk queue." "Yes, but I di-" "It had to be FIFO, had to be able to distinguish …
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Saturday 19th September 2015 15:51 GMT robertcirca
@ Richard Altman
I think I can see (not hear) a German accent in YOUR English.
So what about your Spanish? You still do not speak Spanish after so many years? Do you still think that Spanish is the native language in China?
Mental heatsinks from THINKTOOFAST CO. are known for giving you problems every once in a while.
And please excuse me if my English is not perfect - I am a confessig German.
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Sunday 20th September 2015 15:14 GMT big_D
Re: @ Dave K
That is the problem, too many racial stereotypes. I married a German woman, who lived her whole life in a small town in the countryside. She learnt a bit of English in the school, but never got a chance to use it after that.
We have been together for several years now and she doesn't speak any English.
In the big towns, East and West, North and South, a lot more people speak English - and are often happy to get the opportunity to practice it. In the countryside, not so much.
When I first moved here, I didn't speak any German, but went to German language school. About 9 months later I visited a friend near Hanover and we were sat in his office and he told me, that if I didn't practice my German, I would never be able to speak it fluently. I then politely pointed out, that he was the only German friend I had who still spoke mainly English with me! :-D
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Friday 18th September 2015 12:37 GMT Anonymous Coward
Cheap Machines
Won't work where I work, if we get a non standard machine in because our Hell Desk is owned by the company that owns us we get charged a set amount for an image to be built for it (Every few years because new features added tend to not be tested on said machines).
Anon because I don't want said Helldesk to deliberately want to charge me when something else breaks.
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Friday 18th September 2015 13:10 GMT Phil O'Sophical
Re: Ah, nostalgia...
very clever designers from Infocom.
Colossal Cave/Adventure predated Infocom, IIRC it was Will(?) Crowther in the mid-70s. I have Fortran sources somewhere, I remember spending weeks trimming it to run in the 25Kwords available on an ICL box at Uni. These days you can get it as an Android app :)
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Friday 18th September 2015 13:05 GMT Anonymous Coward
That cost-cutting move: so, SO true..
Instead of the most effective solution – jumping off the balcony
Even if the rest wasn't a welcome and thoroughly amusing flashback (and a frankly insanely brilliant achievement if you manage to code this into an IVR), that one line is already good enough to make my week and weekend.
Ah, this is pure art..
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Friday 18th September 2015 13:20 GMT Dr. Mouse
Brilliant, as per usual!
Instead of the most effective solution – jumping off the balcony...
Amen to that! As for the rest in that block, be glad you don't work here. Every time I suggest to the boss that we get standardised, supported kit, I get told it's too expensive. We now support 4 different OS's on around 10 makes of machine across several sites, all with different specs, drivers etc. We have no installation media, no idea which machine is which, and to top it all off he wants to get rid of the one AD DC we have (serving only one site, the rest using local accounts because having servers there is "a waste of money").
Biting the hand that feeds IT
