Evil computers sense you’re in a hurry and mess with your head

Ended up listening to the whole At the Drop of a Hat album.

There's also At the Drop of Another Hat in playlist form. Hadn't heard 'em for ages until I went to look up the link.

Re: Flanders & Swann

That is awesome. A modern take on Madeira M'Dear. Can't upvote you hard enough because I'd not seen it before.

Re: Computers are afraid of me...

Like a child - often all they want is a ride in the car. Seems to work wonders for the PCs that have arrived for repair with no longer a sign of their solid fault.

Re: Computers are afraid of me...

On wednesday 12 May 1937 the BBC had three cameras and one mobile video unit connected by 8 miles of balanced cable ready to broadcast the coronation of King George VI.

The Marconi-EMI equipment had all just been delivered and set-up the day before, with the television vans only just completed in time for the event. On the day of the coronation it nearly all worked perfectly first time with no problems reported from any of the three camera positions or the engineers being relayed the pictures back at Alexandra Palace. The problem that did arise nearly cost the entire transmission however. Just as the royal procession was nearing the first camera position a dryjoint in the vision relay circuitry in the control truck shorted out and the picture transmission stopped. Bernard Greenhead, who had been responsible for much of the equipment (including its installation and operation on the great day), took a guess at which panel would be the cause of the problem. Giving the offending relay rack a sharp kick with his shoe, the circuit was re-established and with barely three minutes to spare, picture transmission commenced.

From: R.C. Alexander, The Life and Works of Alan Dower Blumlein.

Re: Computers are afraid of me...

"Hello, IT. Have you tried smashing it to pieces with a hammer and putting it back together again?"

Re: Computers are afraid of me...

We had a hammer called "Service Pack Zero" at my first job, it was the only piece of equipment in that server room that worked to spec!

Re: Alternative printer undoing

> Please, please remember your safety specs.

Always do, had (computed unrelated) to replace specs after sharpish stones got embedded in the glass, together with a nice case of cheek and ear bleeding. In another case, small pieces of molten metal spoiled the glasses (again, no computers were involved, rather big cpacitors).

Happer hammer times with goggles!

More stories of computer decommisions with rage and serious tools, anyone?

Re: So, networking then

NFS works with MacOS as a client, but I agree that it can be a bit of an adventure, although some of the problems can also be because of Linux being a problematic NFS server, probably more picky than Solaris.

One of the unexpected tricks is that you need to set "resvport" as a mount option on recent MacOS, and can try NFSv4 versus v3 or other debug tricks if that fails.

It does work in the end, but may need some googling :(

Re: The Oatmeal about printers

Handy rule is handy:

Things that you might be able to do with your printer: single sided print in standard size from the standard feed.

What never ever possibly works: Anything else.

@Alistair Dabbs, re Charities.

Been There, Done That, Signed The Contracts, Got Screwed Anyway.

The first time I worked for a month to fix a bunch of old computers so they 1) worked at all, 2) all had the same OS & security, & 3) formed an actual working intranet to allow them to use a central database server for keeping track of their stuff, hours, tax records, etc. When it came time to present them the bill they handed it back with a pseudo-confused whine about "We thought this was for free? We're a charity, we can't afford to pay this!" Show them a copy of the contract they signed, complete with the "If you fail to pay" clause, & ended up getting paid less than half the agreed upon price because "nobody's got that kind of cash!" (Really? Minimum wage for a month of 40 hour weeks is too expensive but you've just purchased new cellphones for all the Officers? Hmmmm...) Took the money, told them not to call me again when it broke, & left.

Second time I put into the contract a "Failure to pay the full amount" clause, made them sign that particular section twice, and got started on revamping their machines/network. Two weeks as a rush job, get it done with time to spare, and get massive kudos about doing such a good job. Comes time to get paid & they "thought the contract was just a taxes thing. We can't pay that!" Show them the signed section that says in no uncertain terms that I Will Be Paid In Full, and ask again for my money. After months of wrangling & spinning my wheels to get nowhere, I politely told the Charity's head muckity muck "Either I get paid or I'll see you in Court. I've got a signed contract assuring me that you will pay me. Any claims to the contrary are full of shit." They cut me a cheque, I take it to the bank, & it bounces higher than a Greatful Dead fan in the dope pit. I had to file the lawsuit to convince them I meant business, THAT got them to pay me in full (and in Cash), to which I gave them a receipt, withdrew the case, & told them to go fuck themselves.

When charity case #3 learned I wanted to be paid half in advance & half after completion, they balked & asked if we could make payment arrangements. I relented, agreed to $x per week for $# weeks, and took my first payment to get started. I finished the task quickly enough, but that first bit o' dosh was the *only* bit I ever got out of them. They "conveniently" filed for bankruptcy before the first month was out, leaving me in the lurch.

Charities may do nice things for some folks, but in my personal experience they can Kiss My Fuzzy Ass if I'll ever do any more work for one. It's not worth the headaches to browbeat them to get paid. And like you said, the PR nightmare it causes "OMG! Why are you being mean to that Charity? You meanie!" isn't worth the stress you feel in resisting the urge to take $Charity out into the lawn to beat them like a pinata until money is forthcoming...

*Sigh*

Why do they do it? If they don't have the money to pay for the work then why not SAY SO in the beginning, so we can decide up front if we're willing to work for free? If I've just put in a month's worth of 8~10 hour days to fix your stuff, that's time I could have spent with a PAYING customer so I could afford to pay my own bills. You know, the ones I'm legally obligated to pay no matter how much I whine about being broke? Yeah. Either pay us what you owe us or tell us up front you want us to do it for free. Screwing us out of what you owe us is a REAL great way to get it spaffed on the various Social Media about what a bunch of shitty folks you REALLY are, facade of goodness be damned.

Re: Leaded glass & Linux

Agreed.

I volunteered my time to do PC maintenance for a small charity that dealt with job-seeker training, and for an organisation that subsisted on donated PCs, they had an odd attitude of 'if it's not worth any money, it must not be worth having.'.

I've had printers be reluctant to behave, due reports, interviews right back to 3rd year project, anything urgent. I really wish I'd held onto that old juki dot-matrix, the output looked crap, but it was reliable for 20 years.

Re: Leaded glass

I will never work for a charity again.

I'd go further: I even actively avoid people with charity ideas. There are three types of people involved in this activity at a level that could fund a contract, and of those three, you are likely to only ever meet two. Both of these are worth avoiding like a extra virulent combination of plague and ebola.

Type one is the celeb or rich person who has decided to do something good with their money, either because they are actually fairly nice people, or are seeking absolution from their conscience, public opinion or prosecution. As ordinary IT pleb you will not come across many of those.

Type two is the rosy-tinted glasses equipped individual who genuinely seeks to make the world a better place. They cook up ideas that range from naïve to unrealistic, have no idea how the real world works and tend to expect you to share in this view. Avoid. Not only will they expect you to work for free, they will also try to make you join "the cause". Failure in either will instead get you branded as The Evil Enemy. Note: I'm talking about the echelons that get to take decisions and have access to possible funding, not about the good souls who do the drudge work (you may have just dodged becoming one).

Type three is the type I come across most. This is the type that sees charity as a vehicle to get things cheap and obtain funds without any obligation to do something sensible with them. Their aim is simply enrichment. They too require you to be cheap or even free, because anything you don't earn is there for them to pocket. There is another associated type here, which sets up a charity with the aim of having the charity fund their own work at a non-discounted rate, a sort once-removed leads engine. I was once asked to set up something like that, and I declined.

I prefer dealing with a simple money making business with a P&L. Not interested in the guilt trip, and if I do charity I make that choice myself. Charity and business just do not mix IMHO.

Re: Church people

Nooo, that would be Canadians! What's the difference between a canoe and a canuk? Canoes tip.