back to article ISS 'nauts quit orbiter and aim for Kazakhstan splashdown

Three astronauts aboard the International Space Station are leaving the orbiter and landing in Kazakhstan this afternoon. Their departure was delayed after an earlier rocket failure. No longer will Italy's first woman in space sip piss-derived espressos while her team eats caviar and showers us meagre planet-dwelling apes with …

  1. Tom 7

    Splashdown!

    Oh dear that doesnt sound promising!

    1. Alister
      Mushroom

      Re: Splashdown!

      Yes, given that they are landing on land, not water, a "splashdown" is not what you want.

      Really, Really not...

      1. ratfox

        Re: Splashdown!

        I was surprised by this. I'd have thought that splashdowns would be safer and easier to manage. That's what they did for the Apollo missions. When did that change?

        1. Roger Lipscombe

          Re: Splashdown!

          From http://space.stackexchange.com/a/4894/10450:

          Back in the early days of space flight, the Soviets did not have large expanses of warm water available to them, where there is no fear of 'enemies'. Unlike the US with large coastlines on the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.

        2. Flugal

          Re: Splashdown!

          It hasn't changed - Russia has always landed on, er, land.

          I guess you could say the Merkins changed from water to land when they calculated the Space Shuttle didn't work well as a boat, mind you, if Chesley Sullenberger had been piloting it he may have given it a go.

        3. Annihilator

          Re: Splashdown!

          "That's what they did for the Apollo missions. When did that change?"

          It hasn't changed, it's a Soyuz capsule, it's Russian and does ground landings (it can do water landings, but only as contingency).

          Water landings aren't as beneficial as they might seem. They're still quite a violent thump and carry the risk of sinking - plus the recovery operations becomes a lot more time-critical for that reason.

        4. TeeCee Gold badge

          Re: Splashdown!

          The lack of a convenient large ocean in the middle of Asia means that the Russians have always taken the somewhat less comfortable version of a soft landing. Then again, if anything goes seriously wrong with the braking process it makes bugger all difference which surface material causes that umpty-hundred gee stop at the end of re-entry.

          A hangover from the Soviet days. Presumably they were worried that any Cosmonauts landing in the sea would quickly whittle a pair of paddles from the available material on board and row their capsule off to America.

        5. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Splashdown!

          The russians have never splashed down - always come down over land. Only the yanks come down in the ocean.

  2. AbelSoul
    Pint

    This paragraph..

    ... is a succinct illustration of why I come here for my tech news:

    No longer will Italy's first woman in space sip piss-derived espressos while her team eats caviar and showers us meagre planet-dwelling apes with their flaming turds, as the crew today finally returns to Earth.

    Bravo El Reg and more power to your collective elbows.

  3. Mark 85

    LOHAN opportunity???

    I'm wondering if it would be possible tor LOHAN (or at least the Playmonaut to hitch a ride to the ISS? It might be a faster way than waiting for the US FAA to approve.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: LOHAN opportunity???

      That would defeat the whole purpose of the adventure.

      1. Martin Budden Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: LOHAN opportunity???

        That would be a whole different adventure, one also worth doing. Ad Astra Tabernamque!

  4. x 7

    Capsule landing on land? They're lucky......the earliest cosmonauts had to exit by parachute before the capsule collided with the earth. Seems the early parachutes weren't rated to slow the capsule enough

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