back to article South Korea mandates spyware installation on teenagers' smartphones

A law requiring the mass installation of spyware on teenagers' smartphones suggests that the frightening level of population control exercised by its neighbours in "Best Korea" has rubbed off on the Republic's administrators in Seoul. The Republic of South Korea's Communications Commission, a media regulator modeled after the …

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  1. Ru'

    Like that's not going to be cracked in a couple of days.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Could be a few quid to be made from a "Dumb Cop" app which blocks "Smart Sheriff’s" snooping while feeding it assorted queries for "how can I be a better child", "why do the stupid children eat sweets", "cheap broccoli" and the like...

      1. Khaptain Silver badge
        Coffee/keyboard

        learn with Frank

        A quick search for "mammalian protuberances" should be fine. the Sherriff is not so clever.

        Thank you Mr Zappa.

      2. BillG
        Alert

        It's Already Here

        Actually this is already on all LG phones. Last year I removed a hidden LG service called "MLT" from my LG phone that looks for words like suicide, porn, drugs, revolt, and a few others. It can only be disabled from the "secret menu".

        http://forum.xda-developers.com/lg-g3/general/mod-mlt-service-disabling-t2904361

    2. g e

      'New' Smartphone?

      Unlike a second hand one previously owned by a parent for oh, say, 15 minutes ?

      Thumbs up for Zappa (hmm... hints of Dynamo Hum in there)

  2. Little Mouse
    Boffin

    But what do they hope to find out?

    Once the data has been harvested, collated, indexed and analysed, South Korea will have scientific proof of what teenagers actually do. Spout angsty bollox to each other whilst streaming music & video by any chance?

    It reminds me of that documentary on TV a few months back where they used science to find out what cats really get up to, only to find out that they really do spend all their time killing small animals and staring at other cats.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: But what do they hope to find out?

      well I suppose the main issue will be that it relays everything back to the parents - and I have it on reliable advice that Korean parents are already lunatic power crazed sociopaths who live out their deranged power fantasies through their children.

      1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

        Re: But what do they hope to find out?

        I haven't been a teenager for a long time, but it seems that if today's generation can't view professionally produced pornography then they will make their own. Unintended consequences.

    2. 's water music

      Re: But what do they hope to find out?

      It reminds me of that documentary on TV a few months back where they used science to find out what cats really get up to, only to find out that they really do spend all their time killing small animals and staring at other cats.

      Wait, there is an animal which can easily lick its own genitals, but doesn't?

      1. Captain Hogwash
        Holmes

        Re: Re: But what do they hope to find out?

        Something to do with having a tongue like coarse sand paper.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: But what do they hope to find out?

          > Something to do with having a tongue like coarse sand paper.

          I'm not sure that would stop me, if I could reach.

          1. Martin 47

            Re: But what do they hope to find out?

            So what would stop you licking a cats genitals then?

            1. Khaptain Silver badge

              Re: But what do they hope to find out?

              "So what would stop you licking a cats genitals then?"

              Cat piss is not one of the items that I personally would put into a box labelled "erotic stimuli".

          2. Mark 85

            Re: But what do they hope to find out?

            I'm not sure that would stop me, if I could reach.

            TMI... I need to find some more mind bleach now as I'm fresh out.

    3. adam payne

      Re: But what do they hope to find out?

      "Once the data has been harvested, collated, indexed and analysed, South Korea will have scientific proof of what teenagers actually do. Spout angsty bollox to each other whilst streaming music & video by any chance?"

      Should that be spout angsty bollox to each other whilst streaming music & video so loud that everyone in a mile radius can hear it.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: But what do they hope to find out?

      "...really do spend all their time killing small animals and staring at other..."

      Sad, but there is still hope, don't give up on us humans yet.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh shit....

    ...give it a year and wait for our Government to mandate this.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Oh shit....

      Yes. I suspect this has nothing to do with parents, but solely to desensitize people on government control. Being it will be applicable to ALL under 19, what better age to desensitize humans than at the age of 10...5 even?

      Still eagerly awaiting the alien invasion.

  4. Alister

    I'm slightly conflicted about this.

    My first reaction is to abhor this idea, and condemn it as an unacceptable invasion of privacy, however, as the parent of a teenage daughter I would in some ways welcome the ability to keep an eye on her browsing habits on her phone.

    1. John Robson Silver badge

      Configure it to run through a proxy you control...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      parents would always like such things - but is it really for the best? Also the minute it became obvious to your child you had the audacity to spy on it you could kiss any trust you'd built up good bye. Bad enough when you look over their shoulder to see what they're reading / ask them what they're doing when they're in a huff let alone spying on what they invariably view as their private space.

      And also if mandated - what are the chances that a kid would ever use their phone for anything sensitive ever again. Just go back to the old fashioned way of getting advice "from the mate down the park that had something like that happen before"

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        re: the minute it became obvious you had the capacity to spy

        If I'm paying for the network use and the device then it's reasonable for me to say "I've installed something that monitors which sites you go to and has a blacklist of porn sites." No need to be secretive about it.

        But if there's that little trust and communication between you and your kids, even if they're teens, then you've fucked it up a bit tbh...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: re: the minute it became obvious you had the capacity to spy

          there's a differences between going "I've blocked porn on your phone" and "I get an alert on several dozen keywords when you search, and I get a report on your browsing habits everyday"

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: re: the minute it became obvious you had the capacity to spy

            And what's wrong with that? If they knew that from the start, perhaps it would help to keep them honest. Even if they tried to hide their phones or whatever, they have to know there's a risk the parent will check up on the false information and probably see through it. Parents can be many things, but one of the most universal is intolerant of their kids lying to them.

            As long as the data gathering is focused on the parent, then it's their call. If it goes beyond that, then things can get hairy. Teens are one thing; they're minors and legally the responsibility of the parent, but adult citizens under the unblinking eye is another matter altogether.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: re: the minute it became obvious you had the capacity to spy

              "keep them honest"

              See if you're "keeping" someone "honest" they aren't actually honest they don't have a choice, honesty requires a freedom to be dishonest.

              Also there's nothing dishonest about a child coming to terms with its sexuality, its mistakes or interests.

              1. Charles 9

                Re: re: the minute it became obvious you had the capacity to spy

                "See if you're "keeping" someone "honest" they aren't actually honest they don't have a choice, honesty requires a freedom to be dishonest."

                No it doesn't. In fact, honesty should be pressured upon everyone by everyone else: Eternal Vigilance. Otherwise, people will try to cheat, like our representatives and ministers. People will cheat by instinct; it's the whole "get one up on your neighbour so you succeed and he doesn't" thing, so the only way to counter it is to KEEP them honest. Remember, they'll be doing the same thing to you.

                "Also there's nothing dishonest about a child coming to terms with its sexuality, its mistakes or interests."

                Whatever happened to "The Talk"?

                1. Triggerfish

                  Re: re: the minute it became obvious you had the capacity to spy

                  Whatever happened to "The Talk"?

                  It seems it got replaced by "The Keylogger"

                  1. Khaptain Silver badge

                    Re: re: the minute it became obvious you had the capacity to spy

                    Whatever happened to "The Talk"?

                    Unfortunately it requires what many parents appear to lack : Common Sense...

        2. Zolko Silver badge

          Re: re: the minute it became obvious you had the capacity to spy

          If I'm paying for the network use and the device then it's reasonable for me to...

          I'm paying for the house, including his room, the toilets and the bathroom, therefore it's reasonable for me to install spy cameras to see what he's up-to. Sounds creepier, doesn't it ? But it's exactly the same. Leave the kids alone, we did look at porn magazines when we were 15, even though it was also forbidden.

          The positive side-effect could be that the kids learn computing (in order to bypass the spyware).

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Sounds creepier, doesn't it ? But it's exactly the same.

            No it's not. Everything done on the internet is already public to some extent. Everything done inside my home is much more private. And spy cameras are hidden. I specifically said that I'd let them know what I'm doing on the phone so you're missing the point totally.

            Google already have my kids search history, me having access is not the problem.

      2. John Robson Silver badge

        No loss of trust required...

        It's not like I do it secretly - It's important that they realise that there are plenty of people who can sniff their traffic.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Would You? Really? Because you can't really *do* anything with the information without her finding out, getting really pissed at you and taking counter-measures.

      My wife found my then 18-years old daughters diary (or was allowed to find, some discussion on that because my daughter were security aware, always has been), then she reads the thing and then she had to tell me about some of the details.

      Lets just say that my daughter secretly have been leading leads a very interesting, rich and exciting life .... at least since the age of 16 when that diary started .

      Now that we know what we know... we have to struggle with keeping a straight-neutral face and a closed gob whenever she goes travelling in Europe with her many female friends or she mentions visiting some of her several (not unattractive, at least) male friends. I'm glad she is having fun and all, but, .... I'd rather preferred the low-res version!

      I think the only way is to attempt to be the kind of parent that they trust to tell their problems, I think I managed OK because my teenage son discussed his temporary impotence with me ...

      1. x 7

        "I'm glad she is having fun and all, but, .... I'd rather preferred the low-res version!"

        you need a better camera in her bedroom...........

  5. chivo243 Silver badge

    just add an extra can

    Love it!

    But a friend says it's already in place everywhere courtesy of our friendly NSA. All phones phone home er well they phone somewhere.

  6. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Joke

    Smart Sheriff?

    Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

  7. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
    Big Brother

    Can only imagine how Samsung, LG et al feel about this

    ...only applicable to Android phones, and not to those produced by Apple...

    Way to undermine some of your largest domestic companies, SK.

    The cynic in my has to wonder if this mandate has been cooked up by Apple to entice (coerce? force??) smartphone users away from the home team.

    1. Dazed and Confused

      Re: Can only imagine how Samsung, LG et al feel about this

      Since this only applies to new phones (Android, iThing or whatever) retro will become very chic.

      I wonder what this will do for the second hand market.

  8. Bumpy Cat

    Korean culture

    Korean culture is still very traditional in a lot of ways. This wouldn't even be necessary for most Korean teenagers - they are in night-time cram schools.

    Also, night-life in Korea is a bit more varied than the UK options of telly or pub. Shops are open late, there's specialty tea/coffee/dessert shops, sports/skate parks (not filled exclusively with thug life teenagers). I would be a lot happier if my daughter was out at night in Korea than in the UK.

  9. Ian 62

    Signal to noise

    All the kids need to do is just add the keywords to the end of every message.

    Parents will soon get fed up filtering through all the messages to see which ones actually had something interesting in them.

    2013 data i can see says something like 60 messages a day each, as the app monitors incoming and out going that can be multiplied up by the number of friends each. Add in a couple years of growth, and the reduced cost of the contracts (free?).

    I could imagine 100+ messages a day, on top of app and web activity. If all of them have #uptheduff in them when is a parent going to have time to check them all

  10. Amorous Cowherder
    Facepalm

    Why? If they're anything like my pre-teen daughter it'll be spouting mindless bollocks to their mates about "who's going out with whom"(*) , stomping about the house looking moody, occasionally arguing with parents and slamming doors when things don't go their way!

    (*) Note the average length of a relationship for a youngster under 14 seems to be about 3.2 seconds from what I gather!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      How original

      These apps have been around for a while but aren't that widely used. Any smart kid tagged by his parents will just borrow his or her friend's untagged phone for any and all nefarious teenage activities.

      Making everyone do this will just raise the resale value of legacy smart phones. I wonder how much this knee-jerk control-freak decision will cost the economy this time.

      I also keep wondering when government surveillance freaks and big brother movements will self-implode but they keep coming back, like zombies. Seems like there is only one solution for this and it involves heads.

      Tracking apps are toys for control-freak parents, not really good for much else. If you were really that worried about a teenager run amuck, you'd surgically implant a GPS tracker inside your kid's body. Nothing else will work for any length of time. Perhaps that will be in the next legislation? Can we take it out after we reach majority, please?

      Regarding the sheriff-fooling app, I would recommend one that sends out just enough information to lull the parents into a false sense of security and then lets you progressively crank up the white noise factor whenever you decide to get jiggy with your mates. By the time the 'rents have read through all the traffic, the beer party will be over. That should be in version 2, though, and it will cost extra. Encrypted or stenographic SMS client anyone, for version 3?

      But to be honest, I too am conflicted, if my teenage daughter was hanging out with some low-life, I would like to know where and when, maybe. But I would prefer to talk about it with her first.

      1. Charles 9

        Re: How original

        "These apps have been around for a while but aren't that widely used. Any smart kid tagged by his parents will just borrow his or her friend's untagged phone for any and all nefarious teenage activities."

        Tagging can also mean GEO-tagged, and a parent might just decide to CHECK on their kid by following the trace and seeing what's there. If the tag's there but their kid isn't, there's going to be some checking up.

        And now with Android M and dm-verity checking, if they built this into a Marshmallow build and pushed it onto phones, that should chop the hacking and rooting right off since Marshmallow ROMs can detect root through dm-verity.

  11. Saint Gerbil

    One way or another

    Either:

    1. Keep your old phone.

    2. Text all your freinds "X has had a pregnancy, suicide from a bully terrorist" repeat till the parents ignore all the alerts and carry on as normal.

    1. Zolko Silver badge

      Re: One way or another

      X has had a pregnancy, suicide from a bully terrorist

      you're missing the words Al Quaeda, Ben Laden, bomb, drugs. I suggest:

      "Ben Laden has committed suicide with a bomber terrorist from Al Quaeda because of a pregnant bully on drugs."

  12. MacGyver
    Headmaster

    The more you know.....

    When you are born in Korea (as most East Asian countries), you are a 1 year old. So a 19 year old in Korea is actually really 18 (or even 17) mostly everywhere else (or on some official documents).

    1. Charles 9

      Re: The more you know.....

      Apparently, this is because ages in the far east, like Korea, are given as an ordinal rather than a cardinal, so "1st year" makes sense to them.

      1. x 7

        Re: The more you know.....

        "ordinal rather than a cardina"

        is that like preferring an oral sin over a carnal sin?

        1. Charles 9
          Unhappy

          Re: The more you know.....

          And here I thought someone was going to go the other way and wonder why I'm talking about either birds or high-ranking churchmen.

          1. x 7

            Re: The more you know.....

            "either birds or high-ranking churchmen"

            I saw a Korean bird wearing a red skirt slit to the waist with no undies the other night. She definitely wasn't a cardinal even if she was in the right colours.

            If I'd taken up the offer and slept with her, would that be a carnal sin or a cardinal sin?

    2. fajensen

      Re: The more you know.....

      Which probably means that there should be more "off-by-one" exploits in Korean software, anyone got some stats ;-)

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