back to article Jeb Bush: Repeal Obamacare and replace it with APPLE WATCHES

John "Jeb" Bush, younger brother of ex-president George “Dubya” Bush and former Governor of Florida, has found the solution to America’s healthcare problems: his Apple Watch. At a “town hall” meeting at the Chamber of Commerce in Tempe, Arizona, Jeb said: “I think we should repeal Obamacare,” before pointing at his wristjob, …

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  1. Zog_but_not_the_first
    Facepalm

    Still looking...

    Every time I read something like this (is it me, or is madness like this getting more commonplace?) I redouble my efforts to find the Holy Trinity of paving slabs.

    One labelled "Ctrl". One labelled "Alt" ...

    You can guess the rest.

    1. Alistair
      Coat

      Re: Still looking...

      Alt is in Hawaii.

      Ctl is somewhere in the south pacific.

      Del is likely in Siberia -- perhaps thats why that hole exists. Someone has been hammering on the delete key for a loooooooooooooooong time.

  2. David Lester

    This is possibly a marginally better idea than that of our new lords and masters:

    http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/feb/25/astrology-help-nhs-claim-conservative-mp-david-tredinnick

  3. David Webb

    Aye

    I can see it now, your watch notes you have something wrong and informs your insurance company, but you don't inform them and the something wrong then requires medical attention....

    "You had a condition which you didn't inform us about, policy void!"

    Watch informs you of a condition and you do tell the company

    "You have an existing condition, we can't cover you for that"

    Though lets face it, the American health system is already a mess. My friend is unable to pay for health insurance (Obamacare) so as she is unable to get insurance, she is going to be fined, what sort of country will fine people who can't afford medical care? Where do they think they will get the money from? I despair.

    1. edge_e
      Unhappy

      Re: Aye

      That's truly fucked up

    2. Charles 9

      Re: Aye

      Why can't your friend apply for a subsidy on the grounds of unaffordability?

      1. Shannon Jacobs
        Holmes

        Re: Aye

        Because the friend doesn't exist. Just another lying troll. Easy to tell when they "forget" the specifics. For a while they kept trying to dig up ObamaCare horror stories, and they ALL fell flat as soon as the honest reporters started nosing around.

    3. Crazy Operations Guy

      Re: Aye

      What confused me about the Affordable Care Act is why not just dump more money into MedicAid / MediCare and reduce the requirements to use them? Then they could have avoided the huge cluster-fuck that was the mass stampede to get it. Hell, then it could have just been a quick citizenship check at the hospital rather than having to pay monthly fees for something that isn;t needed 99% of the time.

      But then Insurance companies would lose out on income, and we can't have that since those companies provide valuable campaign contributions... errr... jobs, yeah, jobs.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Headmaster

        Re: Aye

        The ACA does increase the income thresholds to qualify for Medicaid to 133% of the federal poverty income (I believe thats the number). The local state(s) do have to agree to participate in that though, and many have decided not to, either out of concerns about being able to afford the long-term expansion of Medicaid (states pay for part of the program for their residents) or because they want more flexibility than the Feds allow when offering Medicaid programs.

        1. thtechnologist

          Re: Aye

          You forgot reason 3, they just want the current president to fail at any cost.

      2. Someone Else Silver badge

        @ Crazy Operations Guy -- Re: Aye

        What you described operates under the moniker of "Single-payer". You must not be from this side of the Pond, because if you were, you'd know the answer to your question. But since you are from outta-town, suffice to say that proposing, and advocating for, Single-payer immediately marks you as a "librul", which will, in turn, subject you to interminable scorn and disrespect from Rush Limburger, and the rest of the illiterati that has overrun this country.

      3. Johan Bastiaansen

        Re: Aye

        "rather than having to pay monthly fees for something that isn't needed 99% of the time."

        Congratulations, you've finally understood the concept of insurance!

    4. Someone Else Silver badge
      Alien

      @ David Webb -- Re: Aye

      My friend is unable to pay for health insurance (Obamacare) so as she is unable to get insurance, she is going to be fined, what sort of country will fine people who can't afford medical care? Where do they think they will get the money from?

      Your friend is clearly not a Republican, because if she were, all the other Republicans would naturally assume she would have the money....

      (Alien, because, well, if you're not one of us, you must be...)

    5. Preston Munchensonton
      Stop

      Re: Aye

      Please, everyone, repeat after me: "Health insurance is not health care".

      People don't need health insurance. They need health care.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Aye

        And what is called "health care" in this country is not actually health care, it is sick care. There's nothing wrong with that, when you're sick you need care. Health care would actually be making sure you don't need sick care - getting off one's lardy ass, eating real food, not marinating one's body in toxic chemicals...

        ...but you can't monetize that sort of thing.

        1. Charles 9

          Re: Aye

          So why doesn't someone approach it from the viewpoint of sick and dead people don't pay taxes?

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Aye

      > what sort of country will fine people who can't afford medical care? Where do they think they will get the money from?

      Australia. If you don't buy medical insurance the government taxes you extra... to the value of the medical insurance.

    7. InNY

      Re: Aye

      "Though lets face it, the American health system is already a mess. My friend is unable to pay for health insurance (Obamacare) so as she is unable to get insurance, she is going to be fined, what sort of country will fine people who can't afford medical care? Where do they think they will get the money from? I despair." - that doesn't sound right.

      Obamacare reduces the costs of health insurance. Everyone, except a few exempt groups, is entitled to health insurance at a cost they can afford. If you can't afford the insurance being offered there are Federal subsidies that help defray the costs.

      Now the question becomes, which avenue did your friend use to obtain health insurance? The private market place or the Obamacare website? If the private health market place, then the costs are just ridiculous; if the Obamacare website (or State equivalent) then the costs are tailored to your income (as detailed on your last Federal income tax return)- though they don't take into account your own personal debts/repayments and so on. Or, has this friend actually been on the Obamacare website or relied on a private health insurance broker to obtain the necessary quotes?

      Your statement sounds just too pat and familiar...

    8. camnai

      Re: Aye

      Has she tried the Imaginary Health Care Program for imaginary friends?

      1. David Webb

        Re: Aye

        Has she tried the Imaginary Health Care Program for imaginary friends?

        No, but I did tell her to come over to the UK. What? You thought I was an American with an axe to grind against Obama? No, I'm British, a country where the government pays less per head on healthcare than the US and still manages to give free healthcare.

        As for my friend, she was employed, now she isn't, her fiancé however is employed, but she doesn't have health care and has no income to pay for insurance so is going to get fined, the fine details? I haven't got a clue, I just think it's stupid that the US spends twice as much (per capita PPP) than the UK, twice as much of it's GDP on health care and doesn't have something better than us.

  4. petur
    Thumb Up

    Good plan

    Given the accuracy of these health things, let 'm rely on it and not seek medical advice.. And the problem will be solved in a few years (thank you Darwin)

  5. James O'Shea

    It seems that Jeb is not, after all, the smart Bush brother.

    1. 45RPM Silver badge

      Yup. Dribbling imbecility, and a lack of interest in anyone but the rich, clearly runs in the family.

    2. hplasm
      Facepalm

      After a slightly promising start...

      Meet the new Bush, just like the old Bush(es).

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: After a slightly promising start...

        "Meet the new Bush, just like the old Bush(es)."

        That's a bit unfair. Bush Senior was the one who, once the Iraqi army had been shot up on its way back to Iraq with the loot, stopped the pursuit.

        Allegedly he once found himself in a meeting with GWBIII and his evangelical friends and remarked pointedly that he seemed to be the only person there who had only found it necessary to be born once.

        How did he manage to produce such thick kids? I suspect that the US class and education system is the villain here. He is far from the first major ruler to have his sons turn out useless.

        1. James 51

          Re: After a slightly promising start...

          Lets not forget Vannevar Bush. Had to study a paper he wrote in uni.

        2. Mark 85

          Re: After a slightly promising start...

          That's a bit unfair. Bush Senior was the one who, once the Iraqi army had been shot up on its way back to Iraq with the loot, stopped the pursuit.

          Uh..no... He stopped the slaughter as they were leaving Kuwait City. The Sauds and the agreement that was in place wouldn't let the military follow them into Iraq and onto Baghdad.

        3. chivo243 Silver badge
          Unhappy

          Re: After a slightly promising start...

          @Arnaut the less

          "I suspect that the US class and education system is the villain here. "

          You are correct. Privilege has benefits if your family has lotsa cash, if they send to you a good school, regardless of your performance, party hard, join a frat, learn who's papa has power... network a bit and the next thing you know, you're every president for the past 20 years or so.

    3. chivo243 Silver badge

      the smart Bush brother

      @James O'Shea

      The smarter Bush? That would be their other brother Darryl from the famous: "this is my brother darryl and my other brother darryl"

    4. Swarthy

      RE: It seems that Jeb is not, after all, the smart Bush brother.

      What's truly horrifying is that he might be.

  6. Trollslayer

    Tatoos?

    Yes, they don't work if you have a tattoo where they sit.

  7. Gray
    Trollface

    What he meant to say ...

    "I can afford this watch, therefore I have no need for Obamacare and no desire to pay taxes to support it. Those of you here today who can afford this watch, also can afford proper private healthcare and thus have a legitimate need to escape paying taxes for Obamacare. As for those who cannot afford this watch, then we (those of us who can afford these watches) bear no responsibility for your health care."

    1. Vector

      Re: What he meant to say ...

      Yes, but without Obamacare (or something like it), soon only those who can afford the stupidly expensive a-Watch will be able to afford healthcare.

      We should have a single-payer system like the rest of the civilized world, but the insurance lobby around here is far too strong. The ACA, for all it's flaws (and they are legion), is at least a step in the right direction.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What he meant to say ...

        The problem with healthcare in the US is that you don't know how much it will cost you until several months after you get treatment for something. Unless you *don't* have insurance, then the doctor's office can tell you exactly what you'll pay.

    2. Code For Broke

      Re: What he meant to say ...

      I've pushed this up button like 10 times, but only got it to go once. Sorry, I tried.

  8. wolfetone Silver badge

    Only in America could people:

    a) Think free health care for the masses is a bad thing

    b) Think a watch can be the cure for the country's ill health

    c) Actually give any of the Bush family the time of day

    1. Swarthy
      Pirate

      The only problem with your statements is that there is no "free healthcare for the masses". The ACA (ObamaCare) has not made healthcare any more affordable, to anyone. It has driven up insurance rates and caused the majority of plans to now have deductibles (IE: you get no help paying for medical expenses until you have spent $2000-6000 out of your own pocket, on top of your monthly premiums). Sure, the premiums get subsidized so that those of low income can afford the insurance, but they still cannot afford to get sick.

    2. Crazy Operations Guy

      We do live on the planet where the inhabitants think that Digital Watches are pretty neat. Personally, I think we never should have come down from the trees. Especially with what politics have done to this world...

      1. Trigonoceps occipitalis

        What about the oceans?

        1. Richard Altmann

          What about stellar impact?

      2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

        Don't you mean...

        What Religon has done to the world?

  9. Bloodbeastterror

    Crown jewel

    Our UK NHS is a shining example of civilisation, where the able help the less able. It's a tragedy that there are so many selfish imbeciles like Bush who want to remove people's access to health care. Isn't a healthy society a better society?

    1. David Webb

      Re: Crown jewel

      Nah, I think our NHS is a shining beacon because we offer the same healthcare to everyone no matter how fancy their watches are. Middle class and in need of a bypass? You get the same service as the chav in bed 4 who thinks "employment" is a benefit given by the government.

      That is the beauty of our system, of course, the rich can pay for private health care, but as our system is from taxation, they still pay, wait, did I just suggest the rich pay their fair share of taxes? What I meant was, the chronically ill are able to have long term treatment without having to sell their kidney, liver and lung.

      Then you get that American bloke who thinks our system is so evil that if Prof. Hawkings was British, he would be long dead............ (yeah, he actually said that)

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Crown jewel

        "Nah, I think our NHS is a shining beacon because we offer the same healthcare to everyone no matter how fancy their watches are. Middle class and in need of a bypass? You get the same service as the chav in bed 4 who thinks "employment" is a benefit given by the government."

        Oh? I thought if you approach them with a chronic condition that'll take mucho money to treat and will take this side of forever, you're instead shown the door and told to go somewhere and DIE.

        1. dogged

          Re: Crown jewel

          > Oh? I thought if you approach them with a chronic condition that'll take mucho money to treat and will take this side of forever, you're instead shown the door and told to go somewhere and DIE.

          Did the Republican Party tell you that? Because it's bullshit. If it wasn't, there would be no Multiple Sclerosis treatment on the NHS, which there most definitely is. Also anti-HIV drugs, etc as (literally) nauseam

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Crown jewel

          "you're instead shown the door and told to go somewhere and DIE."

          My parents have both survived into their 90s because that comment is absolute rubbish, and someone I know in his 80s is almost complaining that his GP seems determined to keep him going forever.

          The real "death panels" already exist in the US - the insurance companies that seek to limit access to care for profit. The NHS has NICE, but its basic function is to identify nostrums promoted by the drug companies that don't actually do anything, and stop people wasting money on them. Like anti-cancer drugs that prolong someone's life by perhaps a few months (but don't mention that the side effects leave most people with no quality of life at all).

          1. Jamie Jones Silver badge

            Re: Crown jewel

            My gran recently left an NHS hospital after a fall. She was in a few days mainly for observation just to be sure she was OK.

            She celebrated her 99th birthday last month... I thank religion.. Must be something to do with her utter rejection of religion that no gods want her :-)

    2. codejunky Silver badge

      Re: Crown jewel

      @ Bloodbeastterror

      "Our UK NHS is a shining example of civilisation, where the able help the less able. It's a tragedy that there are so many selfish imbeciles like Bush who want to remove people's access to health care. Isn't a healthy society a better society?"

      It isnt quite the shining light although it has its upsides. For example our NHS is great if your critical, but outside of that its patchy at best. And while we look down on the US because their poor cannot afford healthcare, this country as a whole cannot afford the NHS (in its current form). This too is due to selfish imbeciles in politics (the political football and scaremongering) and the people demanding more and more while trying to push the tax to pay for it onto those who work/earn and likely have private healthcare.

      The US system isnt great but ours has its own faults.

      1. Bloodbeastterror

        Re: Crown jewel

        @codejunky

        Maybe the NHS isn't perfect, but if you break your leg which side of the pond do you want to be on...?

        I would say that the country can't afford ***to be without the NHS***

        Health care, or Trident missiles mouldering expensively in unused and useless silos against a non-existent threat. Hard choice?

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