back to article Apple and IBM foist fondleslabs on Japanese elders in Big Data snatch

Apple and IBM have jointly announced a scheme under which they will hand out five million iPads to elderly folks in Japan over the next five years and reap a mighty harvest of bigdata thereby. The two zaibatsu – whose combined names can be rearranged anagrammatically to "Able Pimp" – have teamed up to ensure utter market …

  1. Mark 85

    Their intentions on use of the health data? Probably not the same as if this were Farcebook doing it. But then again, revenue is revue and leads to profit. I do hope someone responds to El Reg with more than just a steaming can of PR bullcrap.

  2. Ian Joyner Bronze badge

    Stop insulting our intelligence

    The Register should stop insulting the readers' intelligence with silly anti-Apple headlines. It really brings out all the Apple bashers to make comments in this section. You are all trying to hold on to yesterday's computing with computer people who have an inordinate amount of power over the computer user.

    I have very low opinions of IBM, but I don't bash them in such an inane way. The computers they made were not so good (360 made Dijkstra depressed), and they had dreadful business practices as written about in Richard DeLamarter's "Big Blue: IBM's Use and Abuse of Power".

    Microsoft's business model (particularly under Ballmer) is that competition means putting the others out of business by similar dirty tricks to IBM. A large amount of the dirty tricks is to use people's hatred by putting around negative stories and being seemingly knowledgeable and trendy by bashing companies like Apple. That is ignorance. That is negative competition, rather than compete by making better products. Apple has been a champion of positive competition by making better products. Seems a lot still resent Apple's success at that and would prefer to return to the fat old lazy industry of yesteryear.

    Really Register - you need to lift the tone of discourse in this industry, not keep fuelling the flames of the trolls.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Stop insulting our intelligence

      Ian

      Overall I agree with your sentiments regarding Apple. However, you're on a hiding to nothing on these Forums. Apple & others are to be commended regarding their work for medical research (ResearchKit).

      This can only be good. Never thought I'd see the day when Apple & IBM would work so closely. Tim Cook is ex IBM & ex Compaq.

      Haven't read DeLamarter's book but will. As an ex-IBMer I don't agree with your comments - no surprises. The guy at the top of the heap always takes a bashing. Our politicians would do well to read IBM's "Business Conduct Guidelines" which all salesmen had to read annually & attest that they had. That said it's all about money without which the world would stop spinning. Which reminds me, the HP/Compaq meger was greed personified. Two excellent companies destroyed & thousands of lives ruined. Now Fiorina is running for the Presidency. I cringe...........

      1. Ian Joyner Bronze badge

        Re: Stop insulting our intelligence

        It's not that the guy at the top of the heap always takes a bashing - it's how he got there, and IBM got there by very dubious means, mostly by the strategy of putting competition out of business by whatever means. It was all very anti-competitive.

        I agree with your HP/Compaq assessment - same thing happened to Burroughs with Michael Blumenthal bought out Sperry to create Unisys and make his retirement package a lot bigger.

  3. skeptical i
    Devil

    typo

    Change:

    "We will dramatically improve the lives of millions of people," Cook said.

    to:

    "We will dramatically improve the lives of millions of stockholders," Cook said.

    If we think the onslaught of viagra and other dick-picker-upper ads is bad now, just wait.

  4. DNTP

    Not as funny

    I think when Somethingawful.com did this as a legitimate charity drive in 2007 it was funnier.

    Replace the words "fondleslabs" and "Japan's elderly" with "millions of bees" and "African farmers".

  5. Richard Jones 1
    Thumb Down

    Slow Roll Out an Issue?

    While I no longer live in Japan this item caught my eye. No doubt some would use these devices and in some ways I could see them matching each other, the Japanese are a well mannered group who generally do what the manual says they are allowed to do. However, I can still see problems ahead. A 5 year plan (it sounds a bit soviet to me anyway) would mean that hardware and software changes would likely happen during the life of the project, this could well lead to confusion by all parties. I could see the device needing to earn a place in the hearts, minds and hands of the user group or it will become a dust gatherer on the book shelf. Speaking as someone close to or possibly in the age range likely to be involved, frankly I would hate the device. I find touch a total PIA having problems with such as Carpel tunnel and arthritis. The tiny screen would drive me nuts. Though a 23inch hand held would also be less than useful, a 23inch wall mounted screen, being a better size is 'quite useful'.

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