back to article Fed-up Colorado man takes 9mm PISTOL to vexing Dell PC

A Colorado Springs man who decided he'd had just about enough of his cantankerous Dell PC took it into an alleyway and pumped eight 9mm rounds into its sorry case, according to the local Gazette. Lucas Hinch, 37, simply "got tired of fighting with his computer for the last several months", as the Colorado Springs Police …

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  1. Alister

    I think that may invalidate his warranty...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The XPS 410 was current in 2007. I doubt his warranty was eight years. Which makes me wonder why he was so angry that such an old piece of kit was on the blink?

      1. Code Monkey
        Windows

        He was a homeopathy fan. Maybe his herbal tea had seen a picture of some methamphetamine.

      2. Captain Scarlet

        I remember those Dell cases, compared to their other cases this one was just easy to open and didn't have anything which would attempt to eat my hand if I opened it the wrong way.

    2. Tom 7

      Re: I think that may invalidate his warranty...

      He could have bought a Dell recommended 9mm for several times the price though!

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: I think that may invalidate his warranty...

        Lucky it was a Dell.

        If it was an HP the bullets would have $99 each - although the gun would only have cost $39.99

        1. Evil Auditor Silver badge
          Trollface

          Re: I think that may invalidate his warranty...

          If it was an HP the bullets would have $99 each - although the gun would only have cost $39.99

          It was a Hi-Point; costs hardly more than $39.99.

          1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
            Coat

            Re: I think that may invalidate his warranty...

            When he fired his first shot, did he get a message:

            Windows has detected new hardware:

            9mm Hi-point compatibe bullet

            Please wait until proper drivers have been installed

            Sorry, just couldn't resist, I'll get me coat

    3. dorsetknob
      Gimp

      Re Replacment

      Dear Michael Dell

      Here is a Sales lead for your Sales Team

      No Commission Required

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Right now, at this particular moment, I think I known exactly the way he was feeling. How satisfying it must have been to keep on pulling the trigger at a Dell machine ...

    1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

      Well, back yonks, in another life, I had to deal with Olivetti PCs. Those buggers were a real pain! You couldn't open a case without having your hands and fingers cut. How I wished to shoot them...

      When switching to Dell, that was a real treat.

      1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

        Ah, the old Olivetti's. My physical scars have healed by now. I would much more prefer to take an axe to them and "give them a reprogramming they will never forget" to paraphrase Ford Prefect's words to Eddy, the shipboard computer.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Yes!!!

    I just had it,” adding that he tired of the balky computer’s “blue screen of death"

    Should have bought Apple.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Yes!!!

      Traditionally Apples have been used for targets - just ask William Tell.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_an_apple_off_one%27s_child%27s_head

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Yes!!!

      Not enough down votes, gimme more!!!!

  4. NoneSuch Silver badge

    The story to the police was bogus. That PC owed him BitCoin and couldn't pay.

  5. Message From A Self-Destructing Turnip
    Linux

    What we need to know

    Will it still run Linux...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What we need to know

      Sure, the only reason you install Linux is because you have a PC full of holes....

      1. Oninoshiko
        Joke

        Re: What we need to know

        true, but before you do, every PC is full of holes...

  6. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Survived by a monitor and a keyboard

    So, what's happened to the mouse then?

    1. Ragarath

      Re: Survived by a monitor and a keyboard

      The cat had it!

      1. James O'Shea

        Re: Survived by a monitor and a keyboard

        http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Cats/CatMouse2.jpg

        1. bill 27
          Pint

          Re: Survived by a monitor and a keyboard

          Once, long ago, we had a SUN mouse die. I cut the tail off and put it into a mouse trap, then inside the case of a dead PC we were turning in.

          I was worried when I saw the article. I know several people in the Springs who could have done it, so I was relieved to not see a familiar name.

    2. Captain DaFt

      Re: Survived by a monitor and a keyboard

      "So, what's happened to the mouse then?"

      The shock was too much for it... I'm afraid it didn't make it, despite heroic efforts: http://thisonesite.com/2zbd

  7. ratfox
    Flame

    > homeopathic store owner

    Prison's too good for him.

    1. Just Enough
      Boffin

      Oh come on, there has to be a gag in there somewhere! You're just not trying.

      He should have rubbed a 400X dilution of gunpowder onto a USB port. That sort of powerful stuff would have really taught it a lesson far better than any gun.

      1. MyffyW Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        The damage to the chassis can be repaired by taking said 400th dilution of gunpowder, tapping it firmly against a bench and then pouring over the power supply. Whilst plugged in.

        Oh no, wait. That's a cure for an irrational faith in homeopathy.

        1. Rich 11

          There's such a thing as a rational faith in homeopathy?

          1. 080

            Are those with a faith in homeopathy, homeopathetic?

          2. Primus Secundus Tertius

            @Rich 11

            Who said anything about faith? He was selling the stuff, not believing in it.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              "Who said anything about faith? He was selling the stuff, not believing in it."

              Be careful. Some chiropracty body sued a journalist for libel for suggesting that they knew their treatments didn't work. It's OK to suggest somebody believes in pink unicorns, but not to suggest that they claim to but actually don't believe in them. Stupidity OK, cynicism not. Unless you're a politician.

              1. This post has been deleted by its author

                1. Vic

                  Re: "Who said anything about faith? He was selling the stuff, not believing in it."

                  Mr. Justice Eady

                  How could anyone have guessed it would be him?

                  Vic.

                2. John Savard

                  Re: "Who said anything about faith? He was selling the stuff, not believing in it."

                  I just hope that not one new pence of that 200,000 pounds came from Simon Singh, but instead it all came from the British Chiropractic Association. Otherwise, there could be a chilling effect on physicians, skeptics, and others who seek to inform the public about dangerous quackery.

          3. Hans 1

            >There's such a thing as a rational faith in homeopathy?

            Yes, there is.

            Even if you believe that homeopathy is just BS, people who do not enjoy "at the very least" the placebo effect. Given the price difference with the real stuff, everybody wins.

            1. Just Enough
              Holmes

              There is a rational faith held by many of homoeopathy's purveyors that is self evidently true; it is easy money extracted from the gullible.

        2. Mark 85

          Your forgot the chant. Now try it....

    2. Otto is a bear.

      Backups

      I expect he'd backed it all up using the Memory of Water then.

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. adnim

    Can't help thinking...

    It came installed with Windows and the hardware worked fine.

    I was responsible for 250 Dell PC's on site, 2 had hardware issues (both mother board failures in Optiplex boxes) in 5 years and Dell responded promptly... This was 15-10 years ago, can't comment on the hardware quality nor Dell response now. Do Dell suck these days?

    1. David Austin

      Re: Can't help thinking...

      Their home kit (Inspiron, studio) isn't anything to write home about, but their business kit (OptiPlex, latitude) is pretty good: Reasonably priced, good reliability, and backed up by good servicing and parts options, especially if you spring for the NBD ProSupport.

      Normally it's a straight fight between them and HP for our shop.

      1. adnim
        Happy

        @David Re: Can't help thinking...

        Thank you David, I am out of touch with business/corporate IT hardware matters these days.... HP? I remember getting very angry at Compaq Armada laptops in the late 90's, that was before HP bought Compaq out though... You just brought back memories nightmares ;-)

        1. CaptainBanjax

          Re: @David Can't help thinking...

          The 90s? Laptops were the size of an Armada then!

          Boom boom!

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: @David Can't help thinking...

            I've still got a Compaq DMT upstairs, 266Mhz CPU 98MB ram, you'd need more than a 9mm.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Musket

    If he'd exercised his downgrade rights he could have used a musket.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Musket

      I would have gone for the rail-gun upgrade ;-)

    2. Hans 1
      Thumb Up

      Re: Musket

      Muskets ? makes me think of good ole Jim! That cunt says it all!

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL8JEEt2RxI

  10. emmanuel goldstein

    at least no armadillos were harmed.

    1. Mark 85

      Or Mother-in-laws.

  11. Dazed and Confused
    Holmes

    Come on guys

    Can any of you claim that there has never been an occasion when you wouldn't have cheerfully taken your computer outside and put it out of your misery?

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