Apple Watch 'didn't work on HAIRY FANBOIS, was stripped of sensor tech' Apple has scrapped certain health-monitoring technologies from its upcoming Watch, it's reported, following problems with sensors and regulations. Some of the features are too complicated, while others would have prompted unwanted attention from watchdogs, it's reported. We're told the Watch has failed to meet Cupertino's …
"Tim Cook implied that the new Apple Watch could help prevent cancer.
In his keynote address at the Goldman Sachs Technology and Internet Conference, he said: "Some doctors now think that sitting down for long periods is the new cancer,"
Seriously, we know el-Reg doesn't get on with Apple, but if you are going to take swipes at them, you might do a bit better than this bit of primary school level misquoting and lack of comprehension. It is so obviously contrived that it jars as one reads it. It isn't exactly subtle.
And in any case, even though Cook didn't say that, it would be ok to imply an activity monitor can help prevent cancer, because it appears sitting on your arse all day is a major contributing factor in the cause of prostate cancer, which actually is a major killer. Can't see it's too controversial or difficult to understand why that might be the case. Take the piss all you like El Reg, but getting up and moving around every 20 or so mins is a very good thing to do indeed.
That is why we have taken all of the chairs out of the office and replaced them with treadmills.
Ohh the guy with the whip? He's only there to keep time by cracking it regularly!
After reading this article I threw away my chair, now I feel like a new man.
Admittedly one of eighty but...
"I think you have discovered a new source of green energy! We can use treadmill-generators to run our data centres."
No ... given the reported battery life issues, you need to be on the treadmill to keep the Apple Watch powered up. Some commentators have noted that this tends to limit the portability of the device, but Apples Execs have been keen to highlight the health benefits of a smartwatch which requires you to be constantly active to keep it charged.
They were wearing it fine; they were oxidating their blood wrongly.
Cheap shots having been taken, if the story is accurate — developed feature pulled late in the cycle for not working — then it's neither reprehensible nor particularly uncommon.
"It's quite funny to be in a meeting at Apple and ten minutes before the hour people get up and start moving around, but people like it."
I wouldn't find that funny. I'd find that fucking rude, especially if it's mid conversation / mid negotiation. I'm not about to follow someone around the room with my eyes whilst talking numbers.
Honestly, the shit Apple comes up with thinking it's amazing.
"It's quite funny to be in a meeting at Apple and ten minutes before the hour people get up and start moving around"
It's worth somone producing medical research that states that regular masturbation is good for you. The iWatch could tell you when it's fap time : "It's quite funny to be in a meeting at Apple and ten minutes before the hour people get their lads out and start moving around, but people like it"
>It's worth somone producing medical research that states that regular masturbation is good for you.
It is, for men in their twenties - ejaculating 5 times a week has been linked with lower rates of prostate cancer later in life. For some reason, masturbating in one's thirties doesn't have the same beneficial effect.
Of course, if you are relatively active, take a little care in your hygiene and don't act like a jerk, you can find someone happy to give you a, er, hand.
"...medical research that states that regular masturbation is good for you..."
The NHS recommends "breaking up long periods of sitting time with shorter bouts of activity for just one to two minutes", so there's a use for the countdown timer function too...
(http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/fitness/Pages/sitting-and-sedentary-behaviour-are-bad-for-your-health.aspx)
Yes, and the NHS ALSO says that saturated fat and cholesterol cause CVD/CHD, eating fat makes you fat, grains and starches are healthy, calories in > calories out = weight loss. A low-fat/high-carb, calorie-restricted diet = weight loss, eating a high fat diet causes gallstones, eating red meat will kill you… I'm struggling, really STRUGGLING, to think of of a single NHS proclamation containing the tiniest grain of truth - nope, aren't any.
Wanna know why this country is fat and sick…? The NHS is the reason this country is fat and sick. If you wanna remain relatively healthy, simply do the exact opposite of what the NHS tells you, especially when it comes to diet. According to NHS Choices, everything we've been eating since the dawn of man (red meat, saturated fat, cholesterol, etc.) is suddenly gonna kill us and, everything we've only been cultivating for a mere 10k years or so is a health food! The evidence for the bullshit is out there if you look, I'll give you some starter pages:
Http://www.drmalcolmkendrick.org (ex-NHS GP, hounded out of the NHS for telling the truth about saturated fat, cholesterol, statins and CVD/CHD. The 'diet-heart hypothesis' was debunked in the late 70s, yet kids attending med school today are STILL taught it as though it was fact. Dr. Kendrick is also an advocate for a low-carb/high-fat palaeo-style diet. Author of 'The Great Cholesterol Con')
Http://www.dietdoctor.com/faq (blog of Dr. Andreas Eenfeldt, Swedish GP, and another LCHF palaeo advocate)
Http://www.cerealkillersmovie.com (website for South African-shot film about the dangers of a so-called 'healthy' Western diet)
Http://www.chrskresser.com (LCHF advocate, health myth debunker, and author of 'Your Personal Paleo Code')
I'll tell this to you straight: the NHS has two ambitions
1. Making the UK the world's fattest and sickest nation
2. Arse-fucking Big Pharma as it does so
Do you realise that many GPs are little more than Big Pharma salesmen…? They're not remotely interested in your health, merely in shoving their employer's latest poison at you, for which they'll receive a decent commission. They draw a big fat NHS salary and another from Big Pharma.
Keep reading that GPs are leaving the NHS due to 'stress'…? I suspect their consciences have bested them and they've been hounded out for speaking the truth.
If anyone who reads this is currently taking any kind of statin, I URGE you to read Dr. Kendrick's book. It could, very literally, save your life. If you're taking statins, chances are you're also taking a PPI and something for GORD (gastro-oesophageal reflux disease). Your GP will tell you that heartburn/acid reflux is caused by EXCESS stomach acid, this is bullshit, heartburn (which may lead to GORD) is actually caused by INSUFFICIENT acid and taking a PPI will increase your risk of developing an ulcer, which will increase your chances of developing gastric cancer and continual acid reflux increases the chance of oesophageal cancer.
I expect a billion DVs for this, but I speak truth…
There are good reasons not to spend long periods sat down, but there are also other ways to get people to stand that would avoid the issues you highlight.
The easiest would be to design the meeting to incorporate some periods of standing, say after every two points of the agenda. There are plenty of studies that suggest that standing will aid concentration - so attendees will end up giving more attention to the person speaking, not less.
Outside of the meeting and ack at the workstation, one can either buy a dual-height desk, or else just mirror your monitor onto a second display that is mounted higher.
I don’t sit down in meetings. Why should I? I stand - and especially if I’m the one doing the presenting. Occasionally I might sit for a moment to scribble down some notes - but that’s about it. And at least if people are standing, I know that they’re awake and not nodding off. If I had my way, there’d be no chairs in meeting rooms - and it’d have the added advantage of keeping meetings pertinent and brief.
I'm not sure why you've been downvoted. There's several companies that I know of that don't have chairs in conference rooms used by employees for the very reasons you stated. Everyone is awake and alert and there's no endless hours of droning on with PowerPoints. The only conference rooms with chairs are where they meet with customers... oh.. and the board room of course.
"If I had my way, there’d be no chairs in meeting rooms"
I have arthritis in both hips. I won't be standing for a moment longer than I absolutely have to. If the meeting is as pertinent and brief as you claim, email me the details instead - I'll peruse it while I'm sitting on my arse.
Though probably after I've printed it out and I'm on the bog performing some download features - I'm sure you'll understand.
@John Tserkezis
You’re in the minority, and of course exceptions need to be made - chairs for those who require them, just as lifts are provided for the frail and disabled. The point remains that a) most people don’t need a chair in a meeting and b) most meetings are too long.
Besides, if you’re only going to read the minutes then you’re not going to be in a position to contribute - and you’ll have to accept the conclusions as a fait accompli (and, of course, most of the actions will be on you as an absentee - har har). And if you’re only going to be reading them with your brown eye, you probably don’t deserve the job anyway.
August 2014: All tech sites: "This Apple iWatch will be sentient and will cause the collapse of the entire world economy. All problems with all other things will be solved by the iWatch which will definitely be called the iWatch. Literally every human being will own one and they will live forever. It'll run on unicorn tears!"
September 2014: "Announcing... the Apple Watch. We just invented the watch crown too! It'll do nearly everything and will be brilliant. Bye, bye Rolex!"
December 2014: "...er you might have to charge the thing every day..."
February 2015: "sorry, we just had to remove yet another differentiator. It won't have a built in Tricorder and Doctor. But it'll still be quite cool, honestly!"
April 2015: Apple's take on the Moto 360 is released. It's square. It has a choice of coloured and metal straps. It's a watch that needs charging every 10 hours.
June 2015: All tech sites: "OMG! Just wait for v2 in 2016! It'll be sentient and will cause the collapse of the entire world economy. All problems with all other things will be solved by the Watch+ which will definitely be called the Watch+. Literally every human being will own one and they will live forever. It'll run on unicorn tears!"
...and so on...
It's not going to be the Apple Watch +. Next year is an "S" year. It'll be the Apple Watch S. Followed by the Apple Watch 2, Apple Watch 2 Titanium-With-Gold-Accents (Early 2017), Apple Watch With Retina Display (Late 2017), Apple Watch Air 3, etc. etc.
It's funny how Apple isn't a big fan of reliable model numbers and just describes what something looks like when they do a mid-model revision. Even Mercedes and BMW have letter and number designations, and that's who Apple seems to emulate on the conspicuous consumption spectrum.
(Disclaimer, I actually like some of the stuff Apple produces, but I'm not a big fan of the premium they charge. I do, however, recommend their phones and computers to people who just want working maintenance-free systems for home.)
That's who Apple seems to emulate on the conspicuous consumption spectrum.
Apple's marketing and retail owes much more of a debt to Chanel or Dior than to BMW.
Sadly, past experience tells me that I now have to explain that I don't mean this as a put-down: when it comes to marketing what is a fairly everyday product (again, relax - "smartphone" or "tablet" is an everyday product) and achieving a high retail price for it, there's nobody to touch the cosmetics business.
The Register 
Biting the hand that feeds IT
Copyright. All rights reserved © 1998–2024
