back to article Hollywood vs hackers: Vulture cracks Tinseltown keyboard cornballs

A lot of exciting things are happening online right now. Eye-boggling blocks of code are presently being distilled into art, pornography and weapons of war, and making that distillation look exciting on film would be a challenge for film-makers who thoroughly understood the world of IT. And, if we’ve learned anything from the …

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  1. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Headmaster

    Sorry to be pedantic about this (actually I'm not) but it wasn't iCloud, it was a sync program called Bride of Frankensync... Every sync program should be called something like this just so non-geeks realise what they're doing when they upload files to the cloud.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Boris?

    Goldeneye.

    He beat 'Scar-Jo' (really? We doing this?) to the two keyboards at a time on screen.

    1. Raumkraut

      Re: Boris?

      I think you'll find that Arnold J Rimmer (technician, second class) got there first; during the test to join the crew of the Enlightenment.

      1. Alister

        Re: Boris?

        I think you'll find that Arnold J Rimmer (technician, second class) got there first; during the test to join the crew of the Enlightenment.

        Well... he did have a BSC...

        (Bronze Swimming Certificate)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Boris?

      I am inwincible!

      1. IsJustabloke
        Megaphone

        Re: Boris?

        I'm ashamed to admit that I do a "Boris" every time I solve a tricky application issue....

        I know.... I'm holding my head in shame

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Awwww... come on....

    Movies about hacking and you completely forgot about this piece of crap :

    Live Free or Die Hard 2007

    1. silent_count

      Re: Awwww... come on....

      Not so much forgotten as supressing the memory to avoid the possibility of further crap movie induced trauma.

      Introducing Timothy Olyphant as the evil hacker mastermind you'd kick in the backside, en passant, on the way to the pub. You'd barely even break stride while thwarting his plan to... meh, whatever.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: Awwww... come on....

        Ouch. FOILED AGAIN!

        OTOH, Trinity accurately hacks via SSH in the Matrix #3 I think. I can just barely remember.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Awwww... come on....

          ..and she used nmap...........

        2. IsJustabloke

          Re: Awwww... come on....

          you're mistaken.... there was no Matrix 3

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Awwww... come on....

            There was no spoon...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Swordfish - The real reason ...

    You didn't watch Swordfish to watch the hacking (or story or action or pretty much anything else). You watched it to see Halle Berry's .... Erm... Well, you know, you get the nipple.. sorry point, you get the point.

    1. LucreLout

      Re: Swordfish - The real reason ...

      Halle's Berrys were two very fine reasons to watch the movie, but let us not forget the cars. TVRs rock in a way only a British sports car can (most often fromt he hard shoulder).

    2. Ian Yates
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Swordfish - The real reason ...

      I quite enjoy Swordfish. I always wished programming was actually like it was in the film... boxes coming and going based on the "success" of the code... awesome.

      1. Gazareth

        Re: Swordfish - The real reason ...

        Swordfish also had an excellent demonstration of the Ballmer Peak (OXR: http://xkcd.com/323/)

        Hackers is still one of my favourite films; has a great sense of humour & a cracking soundtrack!

  5. Major Ebaneezer Wanktrollop

    Magic USB sticks

    How about the USB sticks that the good guys insert into any random bad guy machine and without a tap on the keyboard up pops a huge 'Downloading Data' message on the screen. That, instead of triggering the Microsoft Transfer Fibbing Protocol (the everlasting 2 minutes to go until completion) actually fills the building with bad guys who can't reach said machine until the transfer is complete.

    Pure movie magic

    1. Frumious Bandersnatch

      Re: Magic USB sticks

      Actually, the "magic USB stick" might be (unintentionally) more plausible than you give it credit for.

      ISTR that there was a bug in the PlayStation 3's USB device driver that allowed a "malicious" USB device to overflow a buffer and execute arbitrary code, thus owning the machine. Lately, there's also been a similar hack for OS X, though it requires rebooting the machine with the hacked device plugged in. It's pretty easy these days to find small machines with a USB OTG port that can be programmed to act as any USB device to test for bugs on the target machine's USB device handling and if you find an exploit, you can probably find an even smaller (ie, thumb-drive sized) machine to deploy the hack on.

      Of course, I did say that films including this plot device were only "unintentionally" plausible. Then they go and ruin it by "downloading" many terabytes of data onto a device that can't possibly hold that much data. Or any time that a sysadmin plugs an unknown device into their PC/laptop, when really they should know better (didn't the top boffin do that in Skyfall, too? Facepalm!).

  6. AndrueC Silver badge
    Happy

    Ah, Hollywood and IT. So much unintended humour.

    Like IPv4 addresses where one or more octects is often greater than 255.

    Or locating someone using the IP address of an email.

    Or referring to a GPS device as a 'tracker'. In one example they chose a GPS device because the vehicle was going where there would be no cell phone coverage.

    To say nothing of the infinitely zoomable digital image.

    NCIS had in intriguing one last week. A laptop that they plugged a USB stick into which managed to infect their network through the power cable. My first reaction was to laugh.

    Why would the technician allow the USB device to infect the laptop in the first place? But it's possible to imagine that as the only way to see what it did (a VM might be a better idea but it depends how good the sandboxing is). And she did put the laptop into a Farraday cage to prevent the infection spreading over the wifi network (and a clever virus could switch the wifi on so that was sensible). So that just left the question of an infection spreading through a power cable. Stupid? Maybe not. Perhaps all their laptops come with power-line networking support. Not completely impossible for a covert agency. But frankly I just ended up laughing..which annoyed the other person who was avidly watching it.

    But for me the big annoyance is the way Hollywood still insists on having people stay on the line for at least half a minute so that the call can be traced. I don't think that's been needed in the Western world since before the turn of the century.

    1. Colin Brett
      Terminator

      "Like IPv4 addresses where one or more octects is often greater than 255."

      I thought this was to prevent suggestible loonies actually trying to connect to that fictional IP address. If it's in a movie it must be real, right? Similar to the non-existent 555 exchange or area code used in telephone numbers.

      Colin

      Terminator Icon because we know it's IP address is in the 300+ range :-)

      1. AndrueC Silver badge
        Happy

        I thought this was to prevent suggestible loonies actually trying to connect to that fictional IP address. If it's in a movie it must be real, right?

        I suppose it could be,actually, although using one of the private ranges would be pretty good.

        Similar to the non-existent 555 exchange or area code used in telephone numbers.

        Yeah. I think the UK system is better. It makes it harder to spot a fictitious number. Oh and I always rewind to take a quick look at the source code. It seems to nearly always be C.

        1. Ralara

          "although using one of the private ranges would be pretty good."

          Why?

          Anyone who knows that above 255 is not possible, knows 10, 172 and 192 (et al) are private. You'd still have the voice in your head pointing out how silly it is. And someone might try to do something stupid on a 10, 172 or 192 range (i.e. at work) and get fired.

        2. Tom 13

          @AndrueC

          Never use anything real for a fictional depiction. I don't know if you recall Tommy Tutone and his hit Jenny. I lived near a town that used the prefix when the song was released. The family with the number was not amused, especially as they had a teenage daughter, even if she wasn't named Jenny.

          1. Michael Hawkes
            Childcatcher

            Re: @AndrueC

            That pretty much happened in all area codes - 867-5309/Jenny

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Blade Runner was the original and the best when it came to infinitely zoomable digital images.

      By the way, on a related note...

      http://moviecode.tumblr.com/

      1. JetSetJim
        Happy

        Infinite zoom

        Red Drawf ftw

      2. John Gamble

        "By the way, on a related note...

        http://moviecode.tumblr.com/"

        That was an enjoyable read, thanks. Interesting that "Person of Interest" uses real exploitation code in its screen shots.

    3. Frumious Bandersnatch

      "Like IPv4 addresses where one or more octects is often greater than 255."

      Shhh! We don't talk about the hidden IPv4 addresses!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Like IPv4 addresses where one or more octects is often greater than 255."

        There is no hidden IPv4 net. So do not attempt to route to, via or connect to any device with a negative IP address. The Undernet is better protected than 24's 'Cisco Self Defending Network'.

        Admittedly if I see a proper IP address in a movie, I will give it a poke sometimes to see if there's an easter egg on the end. As for hacking movies, my favorite is probably Cypher.

    4. Sandtitz Silver badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      "NCIS had in intriguing one last week."

      What a terrible show NCIS is - but it's the only show where two people can use the same keyboard simultaneously.

      1. Joey M0usepad Silver badge

        @sandtitz

        good god that 2 kbd clip is stomach churning! had 2 switch it off

        1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
          Pint

          Pair ncissing!

          Also: "INTRUSION DETECTED - FIREWALL BREACHED".

          At least you get a porn flick at the far end.

      2. AndrueC Silver badge
        Stop

        What a terrible show NCIS is

        It was okay for the first couple of seasons when it was just a variant of the old cop show format. I mean it was nothing stellar but it entertained. But then they began to develop weird, long running story arcs where they take on the world's most evil people and save western civilisation as we know it all the while trampling over the rights of the general public.

    5. Kiwi
      Black Helicopters

      @AndrueC

      But for me the big annoyance is the way Hollywood still insists on having people stay on the line for at least half a minute so that the call can be traced. I don't think that's been needed in the Western world since before the turn of the century.

      It probably goes way back before that. Telco's have been able to bill up-to-the-second for decades (even if the billed in 6-minute blocks!), and you can bet that the moment 2 phones were connected, they knew exactly who and where (unless someone had been watching Hackers (or H2) and connected 2 phones together... :) ), so I've always been pretty sure that they've been able to know pretty much instantly where a connection was. I'm also sure in cases like kidnapping, they'd be quite willing to co-operate with the cops.

      I've though for years that probably, it's a ploy to keep the un-enlightened on the phone for a critical 59-seconds in the hopes that they can get a local patrol car to the location. But then I probably watch far to many movies :)

      1. AndrueC Silver badge
        FAIL

        Re: @AndrueC

        it's a ploy to keep the un-enlightened on the phone for a critical 59-seconds in the hopes that they can get a local patrol car to the location

        That's a pet hate of mine with a lot of cop shows. In the closing scenes when they've worked out where the bad guys are it's usually the main characters who have to get up from their desks, jump into their cars then drive out and storm the premises to make the arrest. In most cases it's going to be quicker to just alert nearby patrols who are probably far closer.

        And even worse (Criminal Minds is a big culprit here, along with later CSI seasons) who the hell decides to send expensively trained and educated investigative officers into a probable firefight? You send in the relatively cheap and expendable grunts first not the poindexters!

        Bah. I'm definitely sounding like I watch too much TV now.

  7. Joe Harrison

    Genius

    "...like a mad hybrid of Mavis Beacon and Rick Wakeman" :)

  8. Paul Naylor

    CSI?

    My favourite is still the classic CSI (or NCIS, MOT, ROFL, or whatever these shows are called) for the immortal line: "I'll write a GUI in Visual Basic to track his IP!". Erm, okay then, you do that.

    Actually, when things go wonky in our IT department, this is usually the line we use. Or something from IT Crowd...

    1. Peter Simpson 1
      Thumb Up

      Re: CSI?

      Or something from IT Crowd...

      For her birthday a few years ago, I gave my techie daughter...The Internet.

      She has it on her desk at work...occasionally, someone will recognize it.

      1. Tom 13

        Re: I gave my techie daughter...The Internet.

        Yes, but has she finished it yet?

    2. AndrueC Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: CSI?

      For CSI whenever they do a fingerprint search I have to resist the temptation to tell them it would be quicker if it didn't waste time rendering the image on the screen :D

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: CSI?

        Well, you are correct, but having actually written commercial fingerprint-matching software, the real processing happens in background, and the fingerprint images displayed every so often are on the GUI thread (pick a random 100 or so), and are just there because people expect to see them (like in CSI, for example). An IAFIS match was claimed to take about 27 minutes.

        1. Joey M0usepad Silver badge

          Re: CSI?

          @ ac print code author

          so you are saying your program puts up an entirely worthless gfx display in order to entertain the plods , and that the tv shows showing this are indeed accurate?

    3. Ralara

      Re: CSI?

      "GUI Interface"

      1. Stoneshop
        Windows

        Re: CSI?

        "GUI Interface"

        With access protection through a personal PIN number.

        1. Fab De Marco

          Re: CSI?

          Please stop! This is a genuine condition called RAS Syndrome or Redundant Acronym Syndrome Syndrome...

          Just £2 a month can educated someone to not add the word Protocol at the end of IP.

          More information here...

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RAS_syndrome

  9. Graham Marsden
    Coat

    Wargames got it right...

    War dialling via an acoustically coupled modem (look it up, kids!) and then using research to find a back-door password.

    Ok, the rest of the computing was pretty much BS and it was over 30 years ago 1983, but WTH!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wargames got it right...

      You just wait for the remake.....

      ANON because well duh!

      1. Tom 13

        Re: You just wait for the remake.....

        I thought I heard that was coming out next year...

        I'm NOT planning to see it.

        1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
          Angel

          Re: You just wait for the remake.....

          DAT DISCUSSION on Stackexchange: "How does David Lightman in WarGames manage to hack a computer by dialing a number?"

          "There was an internet, and you connected to it. You didn't have the World Wide Web."

        2. Joey M0usepad Silver badge

          Re: You just wait for the sequel

          FYI wargames fans - there has already been a sequel, if you feel like tracking it down . Its not bad iirc

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