back to article LOHAN's Plucky Playmonaut touches down at Spaceport America

Our plucky Playmonaut sensationally landed at Spaceport America in New Mexico last Thursday, although sadly not this time at the controls of the Register's soaraway Vulture 2 rocket ship. The diminutive Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) pilot walked the tarmac of the fabled gateway to the heavens as myself and David …

  1. Gotno iShit Wantno iShit
    Happy

    Here's the initial view of architect Sir Norman Foster's impressive space arse, as it appears at first glance.

    Lovely. Just lovely.

  2. Rick Berry

    Fast Food Recommendation

    You must stop at the Blake's Lotaburger chain. Order a hamburger and make sure to ask for the green chile sauce. Definitely worth it.

    Also, take a trip over to the White Sands Desert on the other side of the mountains.

    1. asdf

      Re: Fast Food Recommendation

      Blake's motto: like Whataburger but nastier.

    2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: Fast Food Recommendation

      No Blake's I've been to puts "green chile sauce" on their burgers. They take sliced green chiles, slap them on the grill to heat 'em a bit, and put them on the burger. As it should be.

      (In New Mexico, "green chile" can refer to the chile peppers themselves, or a stew - not to be confused with "chili"1 - made from green chiles, often with ground pork, and sometimes other ingredients. Green chile the stew, properly prepared, is also delicious, but doesn't work well on a burger because it's too loose.2 Thus green-chile-the-pepper is used directly for that purpose.)

      1Chili, though also any of a wide variety of stews featuring chile peppers, traditionally contains tomatoes and always employs some starchy thickener - not generally part of New Mexico red or green chile.

      2One can of course make a sort of open-faced sandwich, to be eaten with utensils, from the combination. Along these lines we have the legendary Poor Man's Benedict at Michael's Kitchen in Taos: Fresh bakery roll, sliced; shaved ham; poached eggs; cheese; and green chile stew (made with ground pork) ladled liberally over the whole. You can also get it red or Christmas, of course, and with other variations.

  3. AstroNutter
    Pint

    Engraved alcoholic beverage container at the ready

    but, I'm not sure whether to

    1. Down the virgin pint after mission succes

    2. Down the virgin pint after successfully having LOHAN penetrate the USA

    3. Down the virgin pint tonight, because it's there

    such a dilema!

    1. Peter Simpson 1
      Unhappy

      Re: Engraved alcoholic beverage container at the ready

      Envious. Jealous, even. Mine never made it to my doorstep...perhaps someone in US Customs is toasting LOHAN's success with it?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Engraved alcoholic beverage container at the ready

        Ditto. Much as I wish success to LOHAN and all who sail in her, could someone please get around to sending out my "engraved alcoholic beverage container" otherwise I'll have nothing with which to toast her success when the time comes.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Engraved alcoholic beverage container at the ready

          Ditti ditto. Getting antsy for it now I know some have been delivered :-)

  4. AstroNutter
    Pint

    Engraved alcoholic beverage container at the ready

    I'm not sure which of the following to do...

    1. Down the virgin pint after mission success

    2. Down the virgin pint after LOHAN successfully penetrates the USA

    3, Down the virgin pint tonight because it's there

    such a dilema.

  5. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

    so does this mean

    that we are FINALLY about to see some hot roborocketglider action?

    I shiver with antici...

    .

    .

    .

    .

    ...pation.

    1. joeW

      Re: so does this mean

      Project headed up by Dr. Lest-N-Furter?

  6. Daedalus

    You sure must love driving

    Next time fly into Albuquerque or El Paso and save yourself the drive. Seriously, dude!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: You sure must love driving

      Did you consider that Denver is called The Mile High City for a reason?

      1. Peter Simpson 1
        Happy

        Re: You sure must love driving

        And, now that recreational marijuana use is legal in Colorado, there's a second reason.

    2. ecofeco Silver badge

      Re: You sure must love driving

      Agreed. That is some of America's finest boring wasteland you had to drive through.

      In a Chevy no less! Dear god man! Why? Insult added to injury!

      Other than that, great article. Thanks!

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. asdf

        Re: You sure must love driving

        >That is some of America's finest boring wasteland you had to drive through.

        Would much rather drive through it than Jersey. Less smog and get to see more than urban decline and the guy in front of you's bumper stickers. Also I think you are thinking more of Kansas, Nebraska or Oklahoma than the mountain west.

        1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

          Re: You sure must love driving

          Also I think you are thinking more of Kansas, Nebraska or Oklahoma than the mountain west.

          Oklahoma has lots of nice scenery, particularly in the east, though there's a good bit to see in the west, too (eg the Gloss Mountains). I agree about Kansas and Nebraska, though. Everything west of the Flint Hills in Kansas on I-70 is nightmarishly dull. (Things perk up a bit if you get off the Interstate and on to more-local roads.)

      3. waldo kitty
        Thumb Up

        Re: You sure must love driving

        Agreed. That is some of America's finest boring wasteland you had to drive through.

        drive? you should try walking across it... i walked* from Amarillo TX to Tucumcari NM and then on to Albuquerque NM over a few days... back in the '80s... it was quite the experience :)

        * cross country hiking, actually... i had left south Georgia for Orlando FL a few weeks earlier... left Orlando and was in Houston TX in a few days after getting a ride just west of Jacksonville FL... all this with a ~8 stone backpack strapped to my ~11 stone self O:)

    3. Someone Else Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: You sure must love driving

      The travelogue/video started in Albuquerque, so unless Lester was suddenly taken with a spate of Bad Planning, he did fly into ABQ.

      1. Daedalus

        Re: You sure must love driving

        Nope, whatever the video was, the article clearly implied that the drive started in Denver.

        Speaking of ABQ, one of the greatest views on the planet is available at the end of the cable car from downtown to Sandia Peak.

        1. asdf

          Re: You sure must love driving

          >greatest views on the planet

          Hardly its maybe top ten even in the Rockies. Pretty lame compared to say the Grand Teton, Banff, or Zion National Park.

    4. This post has been deleted by its author

    5. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: You sure must love driving

      I've never done the entire drive from Denver to T or C, but I've driven pretty extensively in northern New Mexico. Some of the scenery is beautiful. I'd take the scenic route: Denver to Colorado Springs to Raton, Taos, Santa Fe (stop in Española for lunch; the food's much better), Cline's Corners, Encino, then west on US 60 to T or C.

      Or, if you want to make it a bit faster (but to my thinking less interesting), go from Santa Fe straight down I-25 through Albuquerque to Truth or Consequences. There's some stuff to see in Albuquerque's older districts. I'd rather detour down US 285, though.

      To my mind it's a much better drive than, say, going through central Kansas on I-70, or central Nebraska on I-80. When I head out that way I drive the Oklahoma panhandle just to avoid I-80 in Kansas.

  7. Marshalltown

    No food or beer comments?

    Seriously, New Mexican food is worth a trip there all by itself. Hatch chilis, posole, Navajo mutton stew, locally made beers. Please say you didn't just drive and skip all the best.

    1. asdf

      Re: No food or beer comments?

      Frito pie (yes technically Texmex but saw more in NM than anywhere else) ftw.

  8. Steve Foster
    Boffin

    "Can you guess which one of these is not going according to plan?"

    HA! Clearly this is a trick question, and the correct answer is:

    (D) All of the above.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Are you sure that they weren't wandering in the New Mexico desert looking for

    Lophophora williamsii? It's also fairly common in the high desert (no puns intended) of Colorado.

    Carlos needs to know.

  10. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    "If all of this looks like a frivolous jaunt"

    It does, it does. Proven by the wearing of an obviously recently laudered and pressed lab coat which no self respecting garden shed boffin would be seen dead in. Where are the rumples? The bacon fat and tomato sauce stains? The torn pocket? (and my hewn from the living glass engraved alcohol imbibing device?)

  11. Andy Baird

    Good eats in TorC

    Truth or Consequences is a sleepy little town that's graced by a restaurant worthy of a big city: Café BellaLuca at 303 Jones Street is absolutely my favorite in the whole state. The menu is Italian-inspired, but with creative twists. In the five or six years I've been eating there, I've never had a bad meal. I highly recommend it.

  12. master mind

    good one.

  13. Phuq Witt

    Meh...!

    These space missions were all good fun when they were 'Plucky British String & Sealing Wax Garden Shed Boffinry' but now they've turned into a big budget, 3D printed, corporate sponsored, globe-trotting wank-fest, I've lost all interest.

    You'll be replacing the playmonaut with a mini robot next!

  14. Busby

    What's the ginormous tablet in mission control and where do I get one?

  15. imanidiot Silver badge

    toasty

    Couldn't you atleast have given the Playmonaut the traditional portable cooling unit briefcase. It must be sweltering hot inside that yellow spacesuit of his.

  16. Richard Taylor 2

    Don't believe it - the shadow is in the wrong place - another fabrication from the establishment

  17. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

    practically next door

    It's a bit of trek from T or C, as it's dubbed locally, to SPAAM

    A bit of a trek? In New Mexico, 40 miles is right neighborly, unless there's a mountain pass or something in the way.

    1. Marshalltown

      Re: practically next door

      "... unless there's a mountain pass or something in the way."

      Even then, the pass would only be a consideration when it snowed.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why all the ISIS flags lining the roadway to the Spaceport?

    Welcoming our new overloards alredy?

  19. Glen 1

    Opportunity missed...?

    Background music for the vid:

    Benny Hill theme

    Cool Breeze from Outrun

    Plus all the AC/DC classics

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    launch date?

    Have I fallen asleep and missed LOHAN doing her thing?

    1. bpfh
      Pint

      Re: launch date?

      Same here. And still not recieved the beer mug. I'll be sending collegues from our London office in Clerkenwell Road down to El Reg's and see if a pickup can be arranged if it has not been sent and gone missing in the post...:(

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