back to article Dodgy thruster won't stop Philae hurtling toward comet showdown

The fridge-sized science 'bot the European Space Agency hopes will land on a comet hurtling through space today has successfully separated from its comet-chasing parent craft, Rosetta. Scientists at ESA Mission Control look on nervously as Philae approaches the comet. Pic: ESA/J. Mai Scientists at ESA Mission Control look on …

  1. EddieD

    Have fun!

    But I'll bet the plot isn't as good as Viking, Voyager or Giotto....

    Have fun Brid-Aine, and keep us posted...for us unfortunates, work will prevent us keeping up live...

  2. Sealand
    Headmaster

    Approved standards

    Go Philae !!!

    But El Reg is still deviating from its own standards. A fridge is not mentioned on the standards converter page, so 'a fridge' is not an approved Vulture Central unit.

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/page/reg-standards-converter.html

    A hectograpefruit would probably be the Reg-approved size of the lander.

    1. Ilmarinen
      Go

      Re: Approved standards

      Godspeed, little hectograpefruit-sized science 'bot !

    2. stuartnz

      Re: Approved standards

      The article's about a comet, but you're a star for linking to the unit converter, thank you!

    3. why-can-i-not-just-use-my-real-name

      Re: Approved standards

      The Grauniad says the comet is "about the size of central London" but also "10 times the length of a US aircraft carrier". Can this be added to the standards converter? i.e. 1 Central London = 10 aircraft carriers?

      http://www.theguardian.com/science/across-the-universe/live/2014/nov/12/rosetta-comet-landing-live-blog

      1. JonP

        Re: Approved standards

        Can this be added to the standards converter? i.e. 1 Central London = 10 aircraft carriers?

        We already have Brontosaurs & Wales for such measurements, so they'd be a bit redundant. However if/when Philae is successful, maybe it could become the unit of measurement for size of space probes? Philae almost sounds like a unit already!

    4. Nigel The Pigeon

      Re: Approved standards

      I'd like to know what the surface temperature is on the comet (... in Gas Marks) ?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Approved standards

        Gas Mark zero would be the oven is off - so room temperature (assuming it's not still cooling down) - so about +18 degrees C.

        Since the surface of the Philae is around MINUS 70 degree C , and gas mark 1 starts at +110 deg C, no meaningful comparison can be made

        On the 'fucking cold' scale however, this is 'where's my welder, my brass balls have just fallen off'

  3. MacroRodent
    Unhappy

    The thruster

    The out of action thruster could be bad news. Now if the ground is hard when Philae fires the harpoons, won't the recoil kick it back into space with no way to get back (since the harpoons will not have penetrated the ground)? The comet has almost no gravity!

    Soon we will know.

    1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

      Re: The thruster

      Don't keep harpoon on about it until we know for sure

      1. VinceH

        Re: The thruster

        "Don't keep harpoon on about it until we know for sure"

        Spear us all the silly puns.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The thruster

      It depends... hopefully the mass differential between the harpoons and Philae means that the recoil will simply slow the descent, rather than being enough to reverse it.

      For me, it's all about how well the ice screws work.

    3. DropBear

      Re: The thruster

      Now if the ground is hard when Philae fires the harpoons, won't the recoil kick it back into space with no way to get back

      The thing has some built-in "suspension" - when the feet touch surface, the main body is still moving towards the comet. Of course, if the harpoons fail to grip...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Im not sure about the claim that this is the first man made object to touch a comet.

    NASA's Deep Impact smashed into Tempel I in 2005.

    1. FlatSpot
      Headmaster

      Well Deep Impact more like punched a comet, rather than touched one...

    2. EddieD

      The claim is /land/ on a comet.

      Giotto smashed into Halley's in '86

      1. Simon Harris

        @EddieD

        Isn't that backwards?

        Giotto flew by Halley's comet in 1986, but little bits of Halley's comet smashed into Giotto - an encounter which it survived (albeit with a broken camera) and was reawakened in 1990 to fly by comet Grigg Skjellerup, which it did in 1992.

        1. EddieD

          Re: @EddieD

          As Albert said "What time does Oxford arrive at this train?"...

          You're probably more correct, I was trying (okay, and failing) to point out the difference between this and earlier missions.

  5. Unep Eurobats
    WTF?

    Proof?

    it will prove that the molecules that started life likely originated in space

    How do you prove something's likely?

    Pedantry aside I'm on tenterhooks here. I'd love to know more about this left-handed amino acids thing.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Proof?

      If they find them, it will put a big tick next to that bit of the life-from-space hypothesis. If they don't find them, then the hypothesis stays as it. Anyway, we all know that life on earth started when the Jaggaroth space ship exploded during lift off, scattering alien amino acids across the primal soup of the planet.

      1. Simon Harris

        Re: Proof?

        Yes, but what triggered life on the Jaggaroth's home planet?

        psssst... anyone want a couple of Mona Lisas I've got going cheap!

        1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

          Re: Proof?

          Depends on what's written on the canvas.

        2. TRT Silver badge

          Re: Proof?

          Given the noodly appearance of aforementioned Jaggaroth species... They were created in 'His' image.

  6. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    Ohhhhhh!

    The anttiiiiiccccciiiiiiiiiippppppaaaaaaatttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnn

  7. John G Imrie

    XKCD live

    http://xkcd.com/1446/

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Reporting live...

    Brid-Aine's reporting? Bet she think's all shit.

  9. kmac499

    Here Ducky Ducky..

    What happens if 67P really is an inflatable rubber duck and they harpoon it.

    It'll be a hell of a ride as it goes thhhrrrrrrpppppp around the solar system...

  10. glen waverley
    Pint

    fridge sized?

    While watching the tv news in perth ( aka swan river settlement) tonite, the idiot box referred to a washing machine sized space craft. Are oz washing machines the same size as pommy fridges?

    Icon cos I know what a fridge is for

    1. Doctor_Wibble

      Re: fridge sized?

      > Are oz washing machines the same size as pommy fridges?

      No idea but a washing machine is also for beer, i.e. all the ale-quaffing overspill is harvested from clothes using a spin cycle for the 'landlord special blend' barrel which is already fed from a complex network of underfloor guttering.

      1. Rogue Jedi

        Re: fridge sized?

        not sure about austrailian washihg machines but most UK washing machines are about the same size as the average sized fridge, of course the huge US style (double wardrobe sized) fridges also exist in the UK but are less common (at least in my part of the UK) than the smaller washing machine/tumble drier/small freezer sized refirgerators

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        landlord special blend

        "No idea but a washing machine is also for beer, i.e. all the ale-quaffing overspill is harvested from clothes using a spin cycle for the 'landlord special blend' barrel which is already fed from a complex network of underfloor guttering."

        Swipes is the technical term for this.

        http://www.blackrock.co.nz/beer-bible

        I'm sure there was another word for it in a Barry crump (or possibly Ronald Morrieson) book, which eludes me.

    2. Tom_

      Re: fridge sized?

      That depends on the current exchange rate. I think it's about 1.2 AUSWM to the GBF at the moment.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: fridge sized?

      Cruel lager-based stereotyping would suggest that they care more about things being cold than smelling pleasant.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why is the video feed so much Dead Air ?

    And even when it's not, they keep coming on air late and missing updates listed in their posts, including the first images, due at 13:15 ( 20 minutes ago ), they told us.

    If this is so historic, shouldn't ESA be a bit more professional in telling us about it ?

    1. Bob Wheeler
      Trollface

      Perhaps they outsourced the faked film of the landing to same guys NASA used for the moon landings?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Did they simulate with Thruster off ?

    So, did they run simulations with no Thruster ?

    Or are they just guessing from now on ?

    Shouldn't there be journalists there, asking them things like this ?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Live from Mission Control

    Now we switch from Dead Air and a view of an empty control room to a man standing at a podium ( in jacket, not a hoodie this time ) being talked at in French and German. Simultaneously.

    Still saying nothing himself, but looking uncomfortable.

    And ... he's gone.

    Replaced by a test card reading "Webcast from Mission Control STAY TUNED"

    I thought our future in space would be more ... organised.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Live from Mission Control. Continued.

    And now we cut to ... a description of all the live data that is being received from Philae, including the first images.

    Nah, just kidding, it's an empty control room again.

    Not sure if you're busy or not, Brid-Aine, but, please, POKE SOMEONE !

  15. steamrunner

    Most distant soft landing?

    Facts about 67P being a comet (and not a planet or moon) aside, is this also the furthest 'soft' landing that's ever been attempted? Anyone know for sure? I recall reading something that 67P is some 580M km away or something, which is further than Mars at it's most distant? Or have I cocked up my numbers here?

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Live from Mission Control. Continued.

    Now it's over to ... a view of someone's PC monitor. A quick flash of an image on it ( so they have them ), then back to columns of numbers. No sound.

    Patrick Moore and Walter Cronkite must be spinning in their orbits.

    1. myhandler

      Re: Live from Mission Control. Continued.

      "Patrick Moore and Walter Cronkite must be spinning in their orbits."

      yes but alternatively we might have a hyper excited Maggie Aderin-Pocock (Dr)

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Two talking heads, but they won't show us the images, that would be tooo exciting.

    Or has the 6 month data embargo started already ?

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Landing Confirmation 15:00"

    They are showing a card with "Landing Confirmation 15:00 CET" on.

    Except according to the ESA timeline, landing won't be confirmed until 17:02:20 ?!

    ESA PR seems to be run by the people in line for the Golgafrincham Ark Fleet. Ship D.

    http://blogs.esa.int/rosetta/2014/11/07/rosetta-and-philae-landing-timeline/

    1. mark 63 Silver badge

      Re: "Landing Confirmation 15:00"

      I heard the moon landing was a little better organised for live updates and sound /pics /vids . The americans know how to put on a show!

      p.s. "The Dish" is a great little film about how that almost didnt happen.

      1. D@v3
        Coat

        Re: "moon landing"

        yeah, but, when you're broadcasting from a sound stage, it's bound to be easier.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    T-Shirt - November

    They were woried about it being " hard as nails from top to bottom." which is why they aimed at the southern bit.

  20. Stevie

    Bah!

    And what do these "scientists" learn when, after the first harpoon stabs the comet, there is an almighty "THRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP" and a general and random zooming all over the place as the comet shrinks to nowt?

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Awesome. Naaaaat.

    The historic event is about to happen. With no commentary for half an hour, only background noise.

    Historically Rubbish, ESA.

  22. Mikel

    MT @esaoperations: Harpoons confirmed fired & reeled in. Flywheeel now be switched off. @Philae2014 is on the surface of #67P #CometLanding

    8:12am - 12 Nov 14

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If Stephen Moffat were writing the script...

    ..the gravity pull would be increasing because the creature inside this egg was growing...

    <must resist the urge to punch TV at the stupidity of this>

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like