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back to article Amazon: Put our ALWAYS ON MICROPHONE in your house, please. WHAT?

Somewhat out the blue, Amazon is flogging a new gadget called Echo – which is a cross between ice maiden Siri and wireless speaker system Sonos, and will save you having to using your fingers ever again. The Echo is a voice-activated 9-inch-high cylinder that connects to your Wi-Fi and will answer spoken questions, play music …

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  1. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    FAIL

    Apart from the inbuilt creepiness

    (It's another gadget that will never find its way into my home) I can't help feeling that anyone calling a 2.5" loudspeaker element a 'woofer' is suffering from a serious reality dysfunction.

    <rant>

    FFS - if you've got kids, talk to them. Teach them to read and write. Answer their questions when they ask you. Don't rely on the technology... Has everyone forgotten the obvious lesson in Harrison's 'I always do what Teddy says'?

    We're humans. We live and learn and grow and thrive from *human* contact.

    </rant>

    36 1 Reply
    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Apart from the inbuilt creepiness

      You fail to fully comprehend the creepiness.

      Look carefully at the lower picture. Then ask it to open the pod bay doors and do not be surprised if it answers "I am sorry Dave, I am afraid I cannot do that".

      14 1 Reply
      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Reply Icon

        Re: Apart from the inbuilt creepiness

        Actually, it would open the pod bay doors, but you first have to one-click pay!

        9 0 Reply
    2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Apart from the inbuilt creepiness

      if you've got kids, talk to them. Teach them to read and write. Answer their questions when they ask you. Don't rely on the technology..

      Q: Echo - Where's Daddy?

      A: GPS location, your father is in Miss Whiplash's house of fun

      27 0 Reply
    3. Graham Marsden
      Reply Icon
      Thumb Up

      @Neil Barnes - Re: Apart from the inbuilt creepiness

      > Has everyone forgotten the obvious lesson in Harrison's 'I always do what Teddy says'?

      I'd not read that one before, so thanks!

      2 0 Reply
      1. Ian Michael Gumby
        Reply Icon
        Terminator

        @ Graham Marsden ... Re: @Neil Barnes - Apart from the inbuilt creepiness

        "Kill all humans!" :-)

        1 0 Reply
    4. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Apart from the inbuilt creepiness

      "It took Apple some time to get Siri right."

      Apple bought Siri already formed. All they did was make the app unable to be uninstalled.

      8 0 Reply
  2. eurobloke
    Big Brother

    Amazon's telescreen

    Sorry, this sounds a little like the always on telescreen in 1984 or the permanently on kitchen radio that exists in the DPRK (North Korea).

    12 0 Reply
    1. Vector
      Reply Icon

      Re: Amazon's telescreen

      Oh no, this is far scarier.

      Unlike your examples, this one people chose to inflict on themselves.

      0 0 Reply
  3. Ketlan
    WTF?

    Lunacy

    '...the device is constantly connected to the internet and constantly monitoring what you are saying [while] each Echo is "connected to the cloud so it's always getting smarter"'

    Who the hell is going to buy this intrusive rubbish and, more to the point, why?

    9 0 Reply
    1. JDX Gold badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Lunacy

      People who aren't paranoid I imagine, and the subset of geeks who aren't obsessed with the NSA.

      Whether it only phones come when it hears it's name is quite relevant I think. The article suggests not but could just be inaccurate.

      As for why: don't know. Being able to control music playback in your home, lighting, etc, could be neat. But that doesn't really require cloudy stuff, surely PC software can do it.

      Seems to me one problem is simply the mic won't hear you unless you're in the right room. For this to be as transparent and useful as possible it needs to "just work" no matter where you are... so you can wander between rooms.

      4 14 Reply
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Lunacy

        I would suspect that in it's normal form it does just that sound is only processed locally to listen to you calling "its name". Once it hears that it send the following sound to the cloud to process.

        As for why, everything is about the cloud in today's ever connected world, get with the program?!?

        Seriously though, I guess it allows for creating a much better library of voices to help the voice programming algorithms and allows for better answers and the ability to add new features on the fly - bit like Google do with Google now and "Ok Google", Apple do with Siri and Microsoft do with Cortana.

        In a lazy way it could be quite useful, especially if, as you say, it works anywhere. It then becomes a step closer to the various Sci-Fi computers aboard spaceships.

        1 0 Reply
        1. Truffle
          Reply Icon

          Re: Lunacy

          Its always connected to the cloud because you are really restricting you're potential customer base if you require users to own their own server farm.

          2 2 Reply
        2. Ketlan
          Reply Icon
          Unhappy

          Re: Lunacy

          'As for why, everything is about the cloud in today's ever connected world, get with the program?!?'

          I refuse to get with any program connected with 'the cloud'. As far as I can see, it's an unreliable (in the sense of overlooked by someone possibly far removed from the point of origin) storage medium, a thousand times less reliable than the hard drive (and back-up drive) next to you. The reason the cloud is being pushed as worthwhile/desirable is because most companies will require a large back-up space that is rented, not bought outright. More dosh for the cloud storage providers and less security/higher costs for the suc--consumers.

          5 4 Reply
          1. Truffle
            Reply Icon

            Re: Lunacy

            Good luck putting the entire breadth of human knowledge on your local hard drive.

            0 0 Reply
            1. Jonathan Richards 1
              Reply Icon

              Re: Lunacy

              ... and there's another thing. Will people kindly stop equating "content of the Internet" with "entire breadth of human knowledge"? The Internet does not contain, in no particular order, the contents of the Bodleian Library, most photographs ever executed, or my Mum's handwritten recipe book.

              Don't get me wrong, I'm old enough to remember Before The Internet, and being professionally engaged in finding information before one could do it digitally, so I vastly appreciate being able to, for instance, grab a history volume from Gutenberg, and sit with it and with GoogleTM Earth to appreciate a battle two hundred years old.

              However, we really mustn't lose sight of the fact that the Internet gives us access only to a sub-set of Human Knowledge.

              PS: there's a hierarchy, too. Data <- Information <- Knowledge <- Wisdom. I submit that Knowledge can only exist within a human mind (until ET or AI arrives), and that the Internet serves us up Information.

              5 0 Reply
            2. Trevor_Pott Gold badge
              Reply Icon

              Re: Lunacy

              "Good luck putting the entire breadth of human knowledge on your local hard drive."

              why do I need the breadth of human knowledge just to play an MP3 on my NAS?

              1 0 Reply
          2. Thecowking
            Reply Icon

            Re: Lunacy

            Except this is calling back to a larger computational engine for faster processing of the data. It's nothing to do with storing your personal data, excepting your phomemes.

            0 6 Reply
        3. Michael Wojcik Silver badge
          Reply Icon

          Re: Lunacy

          I guess it allows for creating a much better library of voices to help the voice programming algorithms and allows for better answers and the ability to add new features on the fly

          Yes. And it also lets the Echo at your friend's house recognize you when you're visiting. They're just dumb terminals.

          The "cloud" architecture is being used for exactly the same reasons that centralized computing with a network of terminals has always been used.

          Everything old is new again. Echo, tell those kids to get off my damn lawn.

          2 0 Reply
      2. earl grey
        Reply Icon
        Devil

        Re: Lunacy

        constantly connected

        Ha ha ha ha....that might be a bit of a problem at my house.

        1 0 Reply
      3. Kiwi
        Reply Icon

        Re: Lunacy @JDX

        Seems to me one problem is simply the mic won't hear you unless you're in the right room.

        I had an IRiver for a great many years (actually, it's charging system finally died last week, brought it back in '06 or '07 and damn near daily use, only one battery replaced), and it had the ability to record sounds. Microphone was behind a few pinholes in the case and can't've been much larger than a pinhead.

        It could quite clearly record voices from a couple of rooms away even with doors closed. Too quiet for the human ear but this thing was able to pick them up enough for you to follow the conversation.

        Something with some real money into the development, and I'm sure it'll get creepy sensitivity. And if your phones etc are hooked into it via bluetooth, then (although BT's range is rather small) that gives it more potential mics.

        0 0 Reply
      4. Michael Wojcik Silver badge
        Reply Icon

        Re: Lunacy

        Being able to control music playback in your home, lighting, etc, could be neat. But that doesn't really require cloudy stuff, surely PC software can do it.

        Unless I am suffering from a powerful and enduring delusion, simple mechanical switches can do that.

        2 0 Reply
    2. muddysteve
      Reply Icon

      Re: Lunacy

      You wait until Apple bring out a version - that'll sell like hot cakes.

      11 1 Reply
      1. Ketlan
        Reply Icon
        Unhappy

        Re: Lunacy

        'You wait until Apple bring out a version - that'll sell like hot cakes.'

        Gawdelpus, you're probably right.

        4 0 Reply
        1. launcap Silver badge
          Reply Icon
          Unhappy

          Re: Lunacy

          >>'You wait until Apple bring out a version - that'll sell like hot cakes.'

          >Gawdelpus, you're probably right.

          They (already) kind of have - except theirs is mobile. And has a funny name starting with S..

          0 0 Reply
      2. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Lunacy.. Apple..

        iSubmit? iObey? :)

        1 0 Reply
      3. The First Dave
        Reply Icon

        Re: Lunacy

        "You wait until Apple bring out a version"

        They already have, its called Siri.

        Google already have, and even Microsoft has one that works reasonably well.

        All three have the additional advantage of being inside your phone, and therefore not snooping on you 24 hours a day, if only because no modern phone battery lasts long enough.

        2 0 Reply
      4. Sealand
        Reply Icon
        Coat

        Re: Lunacy

        Oooh, yes - the iShopalot

        0 0 Reply
    3. Lamont Cranston
      Reply Icon

      Re: Who the hell is going to buy...

      If you can get past all the negatives (of which there are many, so you really can't), who among us doesn't want to act like Picard, and be able to bark questions at the walls? Hook it up to a 3D printer, and you could at least ask it to form a cup to hold your tea, earl-grey, hot!

      2 0 Reply
      1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge
        Reply Icon

        Re: Who the hell is going to buy...

        who among us doesn't want to act like Picard, and be able to bark questions at the walls?

        I don't. I've used voice-recognition systems since, oh, sometime in the '80s, I suppose. Never found them at all appealing.

        To be fair, though, I'm already quite practiced at barking at the walls, questions or otherwise, without further technological assistance. Perhaps I'm just gifted.

        2 0 Reply
    4. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Lunacy

      Who the hell is going to buy this intrusive rubbish and, more to the point, why?

      Imagine, for a moment, that a device existed that could access the full spectrum of human knowledge and relay that using vocal communication. Sort of like a quite friend who's really good at pub quizzes.

      Imagine the device is backed by an ethical company who understand security well enough that the device is secure, both from hackers, and the NSA. Imagine you could trust the company not to transmit irrelevant conversation - anything not beginning with the word Echo, or whatever name you've ascribed to it - and that you could trust them not to mine that information to use it against you... or indeed use it for anything at all other than this explicit service.

      Taking all that into account, I'd buy one. I'm just not going to buy one from any of the current crop of corporates, and from that they should draw their own conclusions.

      8 0 Reply
      1. Captain Hogwash
        Reply Icon

        Re: Sort of like a quite [sic] friend who's really good at pub quizzes.

        My friends already have me for all that.

        0 0 Reply
      2. Trevor_Pott Gold badge
        Reply Icon

        Re: Lunacy

        Imagine, for a moment, that a device existed that could access the full spectrum of human knowledge and relay that using vocal communication. Sort of like a quite friend who's really good at pub quizzes.

        Imagine the device is backed by an ethical company who understand security well enough that the device is secure, both from hackers, and the NSA. Imagine you could trust the company not to transmit irrelevant conversation - anything not beginning with the word Echo, or whatever name you've ascribed to it - and that you could trust them not to mine that information to use it against you... or indeed use it for anything at all other than this explicit service.

        Taking all that into account, I'd buy one. I'm just not going to buy one from any of the current crop of corporates, and from that they should draw their own conclusions.

        You're naive. Dangerously so. No matter how ethical the company is, if they have any American legal attack surface whatsoever then they will be forced to give the keys to the kingdom over the NSA. Even to rewrite their application, if need be.

        No company with an American legal attack surface can be trusted ever again.

        2 0 Reply
        1. Steve I
          Reply Icon

          Re: Lunacy

          "the device is secure, both from hackers, and the NSA"

          "You're naive. Dangerously so. No matter how ethical the company is, if they have any American legal attack surface whatsoever then they will be forced to give the keys to the kingdom over the NSA."

          It was a rhetorical question and therefore correct. A device to access the entire Internet by voice that was totally secure and remembered everything you needed it to would be good. If someone said "Wouldn't it be great to have free, driverless cars that you could call when you needed one and could never crash?", then you can't reply "No - someone would charge for them and they would crash", because the proposal is that they are free and can't crash.

          You can argue that these things can't be achieved, but that's all.

          I know - very pedantic.

          0 0 Reply
      3. Michael Wojcik Silver badge
        Reply Icon

        Re: Lunacy

        Imagine, for a moment, that a device existed that could access the full spectrum of human knowledge and relay that using vocal communication. Sort of like a [quiet] friend who's really good at pub quizzes...

        ... and really terrible at every other aspect of being human?

        Really, I do not see the appeal. Not at all.

        When I want to know something, I do a little research. It's easier than it's ever been before in human history, provides a modicum of intellectual exercise, and offers the possibility of serendipitous discovery. Now you say I can pay to lose all that, and have an awkward and annoying user interface to boot? Imagine my delight.

        2 0 Reply
      4. BillG
        Reply Icon
        Meh

        Re: Lunacy

        Imagine the device is backed by an ethical company who understand security well enough that the device is secure, both from hackers, and the NSA.

        Unfortunately, such a company would not be allowed to exist.

        First, the stockholders/investors/C-levels would not allow it as there are dumptrucks full of money, money, money to be made in selling other people's data. Even if such a company existed, it would be for only a brief period of time as their cash-drunk competitors selling your data would drive these ethical companies out of business.

        Second, governments would not allow it to exist - look at the misery being heaped on Android by the NSA etc. for encrypting phone contents. It's just a matter of time before this encryption is made illegal.

        1 0 Reply
    5. FreeTard
      Reply Icon

      Re: Lunacy

      Lots of my own (non-techie) family..... whenever I try to explain why privacy is so important they always answer, "sure who'd want to know anything about me...". I've totally given up explaining the many, many reasons why....

      6 0 Reply
    6. Nameless Faceless Computer User
      Reply Icon

      Re: Lunacy

      The same people who bought Google Glasses

      0 0 Reply
  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In a couple of years

    - this will be The Master's latest attack vector sending children of all ages scurrying behind their sofas. Very quietly.

    "Echo, when will I die?"

    "Die. Die. Die. Die. Die ......"

    (not quite as scary as Nestene though <shudder>)

    2 0 Reply
    1. Gerard Krupa
      Reply Icon

      Re: In a couple of years

      "Echo, what's the weather like?"

      *creepy child's voice* "Are you my mummy?"

      13 0 Reply
      1. Spotfist
        Reply Icon

        Re: In a couple of years

        Hi, I'm Echo, and I'm your friend till the end. Hidey-ho!

        Also, the Reg now need a Chucky Icon.

        2 0 Reply
        1. VinceH
          Reply Icon

          Re: In a couple of years

          The "Hidey-ho" made me imagine that being said in the voice of Mr Hanky, the Christmas Poo.

          1 0 Reply
          1. Anonymous Coward
            Reply Icon
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: In a couple of years

            "said in the voice of Mr Hanky, the Christmas Poo."

            I too usually over eat, and squeeze out a jagged, foul smelling leviathan of a turd sometime on Christmas day, accompanied by cacophonous noises. But you give your a name?

            And even worse, "Mr Hanky"? Sheesh. Were I minded to christen the beast, I'd be thinking something like "Edward Scissorhands", or "Bowelo Ringsplitter", or "Osama Bin Shittin".

            1 1 Reply
            1. Seanie Ryan
              Reply Icon
              Pint

              Re: In a couple of years

              @Ledswinger looks like you have no knowledge of South Park.. look it up, will explain a lot.

              I expect the next Apple TV will have this tech built in,via Siri, and with HomeKit too, should prove a nifty device.

              I like the idea.

              of course, i would name mine "The" so that it annoys everyone in the house with each sentence they speak... :-)

              0 0 Reply
              1. Anonymous Coward
                Reply Icon
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: In a couple of years@ Seanie Ryan

                "@Ledswinger looks like you have no knowledge of South Park.. look it up, will explain a lot."

                Naaah. Friends have tried to convert me, telling me it's just up my street, but I can't get on with it and didn't bother. I did realise that there was a reference there to something, but elected to play it for laughs anyway. But it looks like toilet humour is dead. More's the pity.

                2 0 Reply
                1. Steve I
                  Reply Icon

                  Re: In a couple of years@ Seanie Ryan

                  "But it looks like toilet humour is dead. More's the pity."

                  You should try watching 'South Park'.

                  0 1 Reply
        2. launcap Silver badge
          Reply Icon
          Thumb Down

          Re: In a couple of years

          > Hi, I'm Echo, and I'm your friend till the end. Hidey-ho!

          Hi! I'm Echo! Your plastic pal that's fun to be with! How can I irritate you today?!?

          (Need a large hammer icon)

          0 0 Reply
  5. Andrew 59
    Thumb Down

    Bandwidth hog

    The device is constantly connected to the Internet, and constantly uploading your speech to the cloud for processing, then downloading the results. Ignoring the obvious question of what it does if there's a guest in the house with the same name as it...

    "Alexa, would you pass the salt please?"

    "I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that for you."

    Ignoring that, what about the people who are on limited connections, let's say the basic BT broadband package at 4GB per month. How much of that is it going to take up?

    I admit that the kind of person who buys this will probably be on an "unlimited" broadband package, but that's not the point.

    3 2 Reply
    1. JDX Gold badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Bandwidth hog

      Why would sending a few analysed voice commands be an issue. It may be listening the whole time but is it like having Skype turned on all day, or only when it hears its name will it actually open a channel?

      Either way, I rather think it is the point. It's a techy thing for techy folk.

      3 6 Reply
  6. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    Added

    to the list of things to buy as presents for people/relatives you dont really like.

    6 1 Reply

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