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It's even GRIMMER up North after MEGA SKY BROADBAND OUTAGE

I suspect you mean Frodsham, not Frodshaw. Do try and keep up!

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Anonymous Coward

Bromborough, Eastham, Neston, Birkenhead, Claughton, Rock Ferry, Wallasey, Heswall, Hoylake, Irby - so that would be the Wirral then.

And I also think you meant Stockport, not Stockpoort.

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Indeed. Let's pick the one that doesn't exist at all to take the piss out of :)

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I did appear to be affected overnight...

but a reboot of the old router at 7am and Hey Presto... my decidedly average broadband is back to its normal average self. Not sure why this would still be news.

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Re: I did appear to be affected overnight...

Given that ElReg obviously put the intern on copy, mis-spelled places and all that, were you relating to "Hey, Preston! My average....etc" or am I too far west/south/soft/etc?

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Anonymous Coward

Obvious Joke??

Intentionally mis-spelled names as the locals undoubtedly can't pronounce it properly anyway??

North of Milton Keynes the accent is so thick most people can't distinguish it from French anyway, bloody savages.

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Re: Obvious Joke??

I live in Grimsargh..

Its a small village between Longridge and Preston..

Now say it like a pirate would, then tell me us Northerners don't have a sense of humour..

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Obvious Joke??

"North of Milton Keynes the accent is so thick most people can't distinguish it from French anyway, bloody savages."

South of Milton Keynes the natives are so thick most people can't distinguish them from bloody savages - fixed

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Thumb Up

Re: Obvious Joke??

The English Isles - positively Celtic, with hint of Norman barbarism.

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I can't work out the heck this report is on about. It talks of a broadband outage but only mentions Sky. So was it just Sky customers or all ADSL customers?

Thankfully I'm on Virgin/NTL/Cable & Wireless/Nynex/whatever they are called today!!

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Anonymous Coward

"It talks of a broadband outage but only mentions Sky. So was it just Sky customers or all ADSL customers?"

Sky's fibre customers, if I'm reading it right. They do offer ADSL ("Broadband Connect") but it's in a very small area of their advertising blurb, unless you check whether you can get the great stuff that's plastered everywhere else :)

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Anonymous Coward

"Broadband connect" is their ADSL product provided over the BT network and is available to everyone, and it's crap because they refuse to pay BT for enough capacity. It's basically there so they can say to the rural plebs that they can take broadband from them.

A bit like how Virgin offers a dire ADSL connection for people not in their cabled areas, so that they can't get out of contracts because they're moving to a non-cabled house.

They also offer LLU ADSL to people who are connected to a telephone exchange with their equipment installed, probably "unlimited" or whatever it is - which is apparently a much better service than connect (when it is working). Then they offer fibre as well.

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Wythenshawe

Famous for....Shameless - it was the Chatsworth estate and needed no set dressing to look that run down!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Wythenshawe

No, the residents had a tidy-up before it was shot

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FAIL

Re: Wythenshawe

Bollx. That was West Gorton. The original Chatsworth estate was right opposite the old ICL factory (IT angle to this comment!) before they moved into studios because filming was too dangerous...

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Re: Wythenshawe

Actually it is nearer Wythenshawe on an industrial estate near the hospital

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Silver badge

Re: Wythenshawe

IT angle: Wythenshawe was where the Ferranti Argus computer was developed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferranti_Argus

http://www.bcs.org/content/conEvent/6440

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Unhappy

Plus net phone and broadband down here for us

In Stalybridge, Tameside.

They're blaming storm damage.

:-(

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Plus net phone and broadband down here for us

How do you damage a storm?

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Re: Plus net phone and broadband down here for us

Must be a solar storm given the current blue skies and sun?!

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Re: Plus net phone and broadband down here for us

Someone must have farted against the exchange then.

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Re: Plus net phone and broadband down here for us

It's fine just up the road in Mossley.

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Silver badge

Re: Plus net phone and broadband down here for us

PlusNet are hopeless when there is scarcely a zephyr in the air, so no surprise that a few gusts causes them problems.

And they offer good-honest-Yorkshire-broadband, so from their point of view you (@David_Dawson) are the wrong side of the Pennines.

[I speak as someone with Lancashire and Yorkshire blood, so if you fancy flaming this particular Tudor Rose it wouldn't be the first time]

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Broadband? My 56K modem's working fine, what are you on about?

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Mate some of us can only use 14.4k, stop showing off.

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Meh

North?

Meh- Mostly Cheshire. Southern softies, hardly grim at all.

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Silver badge

Re: North?

Well, there's also the Bury (Home of the late Robert Peel and origin of the Black Pudding) area to the North of Manchester.

And Southern Softies indeed, Alderly Edge. So all those footballers and their current wives, and the astronomy types from Jodrell Bank may well be scooped in to that as well.

Unless it is just Sky. In which case, serves 'em right.

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Silver badge

Re: North?

" and origin of the Black Pudding"

Luckily the recipe is now widely known, so if Bury slips back to the stone age we'll still be able to fry it good and crisp. And if feeling charitable to send some back to Bury in Red Cross parcels if we haven't eaten it ourselves.

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Boffin

Eccles cakes from Eccles?

The most widely available Eccles Cakes - 'Real Lancashire Eccles Cakes ® - are made in Ardwick, Manchester. Only 6 miles away, but not in Eccles.

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Re: Eccles cakes from Eccles?

Are Eccles Cakes subject to the appellation controlée laws?

Y'know like how "Cornish pasties" are now "Cornish style pasties" unless actually made in Cornwall

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Re: Are Eccles Cakes subject to the appellation controlée laws?

Nope, no British cakes are subject to laws restricting where they can be made.

You can make Chelsea buns, Dundee Cake and Welsh Cake wherever you want to.

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Flame

Re: Are Eccles Cakes subject to the appellation controlée laws?

"Nope, no British cakes are subject to laws restricting where they can be made."

It's an outrage, I tell you! What good is the EU then?

/rant

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Coat

Re: Are Eccles Cakes subject to the appellation controlée laws?

Exactly - what is the point in having a petty, bureaucratic organisation if they aren't going to be petty or bureaucratic?

If something isn't done to stop this, foreign cakes, with their fancy icing, will flood UK cake shelves and cause good, honest British cakes to be left on the shelf.

Vote some random organisation to stop or start this outrage!

Mines the coat with Labour/Conservative/Lib Dem/UKIP crossed out and replaced with "what is the point?"....

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Re: Are Eccles Cakes subject to the appellation controlée laws?

Don't forget that most English of products, the Belgian bun. Which no one in Belgium has ever heard of. And generally react with surprise and alarm when shown something named after them.

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Facepalm

Re: Are Eccles Cakes subject to the appellation controlée laws?

So Eccles cakes aren't from Eccles. Then I guess Bakewell Tarts aren't from Bakewell and Banofee Pie isn't even from Banoffee.

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Holmes

Re: Are Eccles Cakes subject to the appellation controlée laws?

You may be surprised to learn that the Eccles Building is the Nazi Romanic-style building of the Federal Reserve located in modern babylonWashington D.C., which, contrary to its name, does not house a reserve, just a computerized print shop. Set up by Monsieur FDR who thought it might be useful to control economic busts.

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Well..

I live in the a very nice part of 'the north' surrounded by many of the areas you attempt to mention although I'm in Saas-Fee, Switzerland at the moment. Certainly my broadband connection is working at home as I've just looked at a directory on my server using fish://

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Re: Well..

Saas Fee. Dullest ski holiday i've ever been on. (FYI)

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Re: Well..

"Saas Fee. Dullest ski holiday i've ever been on. (FYI)"

Well I don't ski but I do walk/climb. If I did ski I could do it at the moment - many of the main ski teams are here including Japanese. The Swiss team has >18 minibuses.

I can't see the runs at the moment as there is some cloud ( it snowed last night down to ~3000m )

http://www.saas-fee.ch/en/aktuell/Webcam_Mittelallalin

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Manchester and Liverpool?

Well I guess it makes a nice change for the engineers in the area, normally they would be dealing with having all their copper cabling nicked.

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shut up ye smug London wankers

and Ramsbottom is named after neither ovine males nor buttocks: it's the valley of the ramson, or wild garlic.

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Anonymous Coward

Article crap. Try this instead.

Here's a suitable replacement article, with accompanying video.

Bolton,

Barnsley,

Nelson,

Colne,

Burnley

Bradford,

Buxton,

Crewe,

Warrington,

Widnes,

Wigan,

Leeds,

Northwich,

Nantwich,

Knutsford,

Hull,

Sale,

Salford,

Southport,

Leigh,

Derby,

Kearsley

Keighley

Maghull,

Harrogate,

Huddersfield,

Oldham, Lancs,

Grimsby,

Glossop,

Hebden Bridge,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North.

Brighouse,

Bootle,

Featherstone,

Speke,

Runcorn,

Rotherham,

Rochdale,

Barrow,

Morecambe,

Macclesfield,

Lytham St. Annes

Clitheroe,

Cleethorpes,

The M62,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North.

Pendlebury,

Prestwich,

Preston,

York,

Skipton,

Scunthorpe,

Scarborough-on-Sea,

Chester,

Chorley,

Cheedle Hulme,

Ormskirk,

Accrington Stanley,

And Leigh,

Ossett,

Otley,

Ikley Moor,

Sheffield,

Manchester,

Castleford,

Skem,

Doncaster,

Dewsbury,

Hali-fax,

Bingley,

Bramall,

Are all in the North.

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North.

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North,

It's Grim Up North.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ftw7Qb8mYU

Play loud.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Article crap. Try this instead.

Ah Bootle. The only place where they can nick your car wheels while it's moving, muggers walk in twos and when they want to appear posh say they're from Liverpool.

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Cheedle Hulme

You mean 'Cheadle Hulme' - or is it 'Cheadle, Hulme' ?

I always loved that double meaning that was probably lost on folk unfamiliar with the 3[i] places involved.

[i] 4 if you include Cheadle, Staffs

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Re: Article crap. Try this instead.

Yay, Skipton :)

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/03/16/best-place-to-live_n_4973713.html

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Silver badge

Re: Article crap. Try this instead.

Skipton, best place to live?

I can remember childhoods in Yorkshire not many miles away, playing on ten foot snowdrifts in winter, wallowing in the miserable isolation and backwardness. So apart from the weather, the locals, and the fact that it's the official Middle Of *ucking Nowhere (MOFN) perhaps it is a good place to live if you're a bored London journo scraping up some contracted copy for the Huff post.

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FAIL

Re: Cheedle Hulme

Yup it's Cheadle Hulme - although lazy journos just call it Cheadle, which is a separate village 3 miles down the road and doesn't even have a Waitrose!

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Mushroom

North??

More like the Midlands

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Anonymous Coward

Re: North??

"North??

More like the Midlands"

Is that the same thing as people in Outer London trying to get 0207 numbers when the codes changed?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: North??

"North?? More like the Midlands"

Speaking on behalf of Worcestershire, I'd like to say that we don't want any association with them Scouse and Manc criminals.

Obviously we need a new name to encompass this region, but as Manchester Liverpool and Sheffield are growing into each other a single town name will do. Sh1tchester, anyone?

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