Freeing up cash for "sales investments"
You're having a faakin laarf my saarn, aarentyer?
Sales is not an investment, it's a cash cost. The model is you pay weak salaries but outlandish bonuses to lazy, work averse turds who (hopefully) have the gift of the golden gab. They in turn (hopefully) put in a few poorly supervised hours to beguile gormless companies (like my own) into thinking that through some vague, proprietary but unspecified magic that The Company Formerly Known As EDS (TCFKAEDS, or thickfuckheads for short) and masquerading as the once great HP will magically deliver a better service for a lot less money.
The reality in my company's case is that the routine operating costs for desktop and infrastructure services go through the roof, but by slashing the IT investment budget the clowns on our board can pretend that the shit service HP provide is somehow cheaper than when it was all in house. The fact that we've got piss all investment budget for the future of our IT doesn't matter, of course.
If I could magic HP and its overpaid and talent free board out of existence (oh, and your "global dis-service desk), I'd wave my wand now. The pity is all of the poor beggars who worked diligently and competently for their employers but were then unwillingly TUPE'd into this miserable, miserable company and then thrown out in order to employ the cheap and gormless, all for the benefit and bonuses of arseholes like Meg Whitman and her senior colleagues. Presumably somewhere in HP's CSR claptrap there's wilfully dishonest verbiage about "we value our employees", so that's alright, is it?
Could be worse...
Being laid off from HP is probably the best company to be laid off from (personal experience). You get 60 days of pay & benefits, and if you agree to not complain too much, at least another week or two of salary.
Yes, being laid off is bad, but you at least get to smile a bit.
Can't be arsed to do much research, but when hearing Meg "Pathetic" Whitman's gripings about Autonomy, you might read about their planned tax dodges and wonder who the real fraudsters are: