Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen has launched legal action against a firm he has accused of failing to properly sell him a World War II German panzer tank. Don't worry, Allen hasn't gone all tinfoil hat and decided to start a militia. He merely wants to buy a rare German tank for the collection of the Flying Heritage Collection …
My grandfather used to drive round in one of those, I can tell you exactly where it is, though it might need a little work, a little welding here and there and the permission of The Ukraine Goverment to remove it from a field near Kiev.
It's also going cheap.
It's probably been repurposed. After all the rebels drove a Josef Stalin 2 off its pedestal in Donetsk, one wonders how that is possible, the motor must have been blown a long time ago. Or maybe it was just for "our side's" propaganda purposes because the lettering "TO KIEV!!" was still very visible, striking fear in freedom lovers everywhere.
Now that's NOT how you sell them! Try this:
"Panzer IV, cherished by its elderly German owner and always garaged when possible. Longest trips were to church (St Basil's, Moscow, then heading home to Kaiser-Wilhelm-Gedächtniskirche, Berlin). Forced sale owing to property boundary dispute so seller eager! Buyer must collect"
See? Gone in a blitz!
An American billionaire crisis in one act, by William A. Cowshed, the unsung playwright of the Internet in the early 21st Century
[Paul] Mama, I want that tank! Gimme that tank!
[Paul, repeating himself several times] Mamaaaa, I want the tank! I want the tank! I want the taaaaaaaank!!!! Waaaaaaa!
[Papa, trying to watch the baseball game] Darling, take some of this cash and go get him that tank, for heaven's sake, I can't concentrate!
Mama grabs a wad of cash and pops to talk to the owner of the tank. The owner is cheeky. He says Paul can have the tank, then changes his mind. Probably because he wants more cash.
[Paul] Mamaaaaaa! Papaaaaaa! I want my taaaaaaaaank! Waaaaaaa!
[Mama] Don't worry, we will get you another tank!
[Paul] No I want this one!
[Paul] Waaaaaaa! Waaaaaa!
[Papa] That's it, I'm going to sue that tank owner for disrupting my baseball watching!
You do realise that he is using his own money (or so it seems) to purchase a rare piece of military history so he can donate it to a museum where it will be preserved for future generations, right?
I mean, I know he earned his riches purveying software that many dislike but preserving our history is an admirable goal.
Well, there's admirable goals and there's admirable goals - I have a preference for Gates' admirable goals if we're talking about Microsoft founder philanthropy.
The main point of the article, and the Mamaaa! coment, is just a little schadenfreude at a panzer buyer's expense, maybe not admirable but certainly fun.
MyHermes once claimed to have left a parcel at my front door, not surprisingly it wasn't there when I got home from work. A friend also had a parcel left at the backdoor when they lived in a flat that only had a front door, I that was city link though.
Only the other day I had an Amazon delivery which was left with a Mr Brown next door (according to the email I received)... Except there is no Mr Brown in my road, let alone the old boy next door who's been there over 30 years.
Instead the package was found on the door step when I arrived home shortly afterwards.
Unfortunately for the delivery guy, I have CCTV... Some lovely footage has gone off to Amazon.
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Panzer = armour
Kampf = combat
Wagen = vehicle
so Panzerkampfwagen = tank
and Panzer tank = armoured tank - so while somewhat pleonastic, it's by no means two words with the same meaning.
Nothing attracts pedantry like an error in a pedantic post...
At least I hope the River Avon tasted good when you bit it!
That Panzerregenmantel is mine, thanks.
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You don't need wings to fly - if you push something fast enough. Big as the panzer's engine might be, I don't think it's big enough to get it up to liftoff speed. Wings would help, and they could try what Hannibal Smith and the A Team did in the (awful) movie - firing the big gun for a bit of Newtonian action/reaction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8W6_0UcQWA
"feared the world over"? The IV? While not bad, it was hardly a scourge, even with the later gun upgrade. Good, solid MBFT, sure, but a bit outclassed later in the war.
I think it's more the V (Panther) and VI (Tiger) and their variations you're thinking of. Those would far more likely raise an "oh shit" from those on the receiving end.
I suppose Mr. Allen is doing a Pokemon (gotta collect them all) and already has those in his stable?
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