back to article Giant pop can FOUND ON MOON

Getting a man on the Moon was one of the 20th century's crowning achievements and a feat that hasn't been matched by any government, let alone a private company. But now one Japanese firm is taking a giant leap for advertising by launching the world's first privately funded lunar mission. So what sort of heroes are going to …

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  1. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
    Windows

    Great sweating Pocari!

    What's a Pocari? Does it sweat pee like the rest of us?

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Windows

      Re: Great sweating Pocari!

      I still don't know, but I know artist Moebius did an addy about it a long time ago, with Cindy Crawford riding the large "mouette à béton".

  2. FutureShock999

    What is...

    I just need to know: what IS a pocari, and at what temperature does it begin to sweat?

    I had visions of something like milking sheds, but instead of cows with their udders attached to vacuum lines, pocari's are standing under heat lamps, over drip-collecting trays...

    'Tis true, the Japanese will go for anything!

  3. Mitoo Bobsworth
    Pint

    'Pocari Sweat' - whaa?

    Sorry, but that really doesn't make me want to try it. As per one Top Gear Xmas episode, where Jeremy so-called Clarkson asked Richard Hammond if he would like some 'Pussy' (energy drink), I have to ask, as per James May - "What flavour is it?"

    Beer because it's just better.

    1. WeeGordy

      Re: 'Pocari Sweat' - whaa?

      One of the first things I saw when arriving at Tokyo airport to visit friends was a vending machine selling Pocari Sweat. I had to buy a bottle just from pure curiosity. Sadly, it tasted quite good. I can't remember the flavour precisely (it was a long time ago and it's not the sort of thing I file away in memory) but I remember being disappointed it wasn't foul.

      1. Steve Crook

        Re: 'Pocari Sweat' - whaa?

        The Pocari is a small gazelle found in Southen Africa. Originally the sweat was scraped from its sides after herding and drunk by thirsty herders. The Japanese found a way to synthesise it during the 1960's and the rest is history.

        There's no truth in the rumour that the great Pocari Sweat shortage of 2011-2012 was related in any way, shape or form to the failure of the nuclear reactors at Fukishima.

        1. Mage Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: 'Pocari Sweat' - whaa?

          Sweat; Because it's a "sports drink"

          Pocari: Made up. Just sounds nice to Japanese.

          I like your explanation better though. You should be writing for "The Incredible Truth", "Call my Bluff" etc.

    2. User McUser

      "What Flavour Is It?"

      Pocari Sweat tastes mildly of grapefruit juice, which I believe is one of the actual ingredients, but mostly it tastes like... Well it isn't so much the *taste* as the "mouth feel" (which is a real thing.)

      It's strangely viscous compared to water, but not overly so. It's also one of those binary drinks - people either love it or hate it. Myself, I adore it. Discovered it about 10 years ago on a trip to Japan and I still poke my head into Asian grocery stores to grab a bottle when I get the chance. I'm reusing one of the empties right now as a water bottle.

  4. Message From A Self-Destructing Turnip
    Pint

    Its in the name

    I am fairly sure a "Pocari" is a chindogu invention to facilitate easy transportation of feaces. When in use it is recommended that its kept cold so that it does not begin to sweat.

    Oh look a cold one.

    1. Euripides Pants
      Coat

      Re: Its in the name

      It is usually used in conjunction with a Jigari to trick people into thinking the material being transported is not in any way fecal.

      Hence the term Jigari-Pocari...

      Mine's the one with an unrefrigerated pocari in the pocket.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The first branded litter on the moon

    its only downhill from here.

    1. Mark 85

      Re: The first branded litter on the moon

      That's what I was thinking... no mention of hard landing, soft landing, parachute landing? How much powder? And if it spills will various intergalactic EPA types get involved? Then again, it's a great marketing idea so what can go wrong?

      Oh.. from the blurb.. there will be a smart phone app launched with it. Will there be a cell tower going with it?

      Obligatory Wikipedia reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pocari_Sweat

      1. Anonymous Blowhard

        Re: The first branded litter on the moon

        "parachute landing" ?

        Obligatory Wikipedia references: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parachute

        And: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon#Atmosphere

        1. Mark 85

          Re: The first branded litter on the moon

          My parachute reference was in jest. Afterall, we're talking about a giant soda can launched by marketing types. Sheeeshhhh.....

    2. sorry, what?
      Trollface

      Re: The first branded litter on the moon

      Do we have to wait for the litter to be deposited before fining the company, or can we fine them before - sort of Minority Report fashion?

      1. Message From A Self-Destructing Turnip

        Re: The first branded litter on the moon

        I wouldn't worry too much about this being a little problem. I am sure "Sputnik Stan" will have this lot cleared up in no time.

        www.youtube.com/watch?v=e44fNbLSk28

  6. Neil Hoskins

    Weird...

    ... because Pocari Sweat is supposed to be an isotonic rehydration drink, so the logic of dehydrating it evades me.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Mushroom

    And this....

    ...is why the marketeers were first up against the wall when the revolution began

    1. Scroticus Canis
      Happy

      Re: And this....

      The lawyers are going to sue for loss of self esteem (legalise for hurt feelings) at being demoted to second place.

  8. Alex Rose
    FAIL

    What about the Apollo missions!?!

    "When the Lunar Project succeeds, Pocari Sweat becomes the first ever beverage to arrive at the surface of the moon"

    Are they trying to imply that the Apollo astronauts didn't have anything to drink whilst on the surface of the moon?

    1. MondoMan
      Pint

      Re: What about the Apollo missions!?!

      Exactly -- have they not heard of the famous Tang?

    2. sorry, what?
      Facepalm

      Re: What about the Apollo missions!?!

      Plus it is hard to "drink" a powder.

    3. Fizzle
      Coat

      Re: What about the Apollo missions!?!

      The firm is quite right, their product will be the first beverage on the moon because, as we all know, and the drinks firm knows, nobody has yet landed there and walked on it.

      Can't be bothered with the obligatory Wiki conspiracy links.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Somehow the fact that they are proposing polluting the moon makes me less inclined to buy their product. Besides, the moon belongs to America.

    1. Mage Silver badge
      Black Helicopters

      Or Russia.

      But the Chinese Rabbit may decide to annex it.

      1. Anomalous Cowturd
        Stop

        @Mage

        Wasn't the Chinese Rabbit captured by the soup dragon, and fed to the Clangers?

  10. Bottle_Cap

    For some reason I'm reminded of Red Dwarf here....

    1. Amorous Cowherder
      Thumb Up

      Same here, the section in the book where the sign built from super novas goes a little awry!

      1. toxicdragon

        The super nova advert worked perfectly, the nova 5 went a little awry

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This needs to be stopped - we humans have already fucked the Earth up, so now is the time to make sure we don't fuck up the rest of the Solar System...

  12. Mcallim7

    makes a change

    makes a change from a B52 bomber found on the moon

    https://www.flickr.com/photos/62440303@N04/5683785190/

    1. Dreadogastus
      Go

      Re: makes a change

      Dude! You got to know your weaponry. That's a B-29 Superfortress.

  13. Omniaural

    Far from innocent

    Have you seen japanese anime?

    Someone goes around collecting childrens dreams and sends them to a remote, dark, cold place unreachable by regular humans. This is not a marketing campaign. This is a land grab for the souls of the next generation of Japan from a megalomaniacal demon possessing the body of a soft drinks CEO.

    One day one of these children will grow up and want his dream back, setting off on a quest to the moon (seen in reflection on a pond with cherry blossom falling on it) with his improbably large gun-sword, his pre-teen friend who just happens to have a mecha and a wise-cracking pokemon.

    They will meet many people along the way and take an interminably long time to achieve anything of significance.

    Japan. It's all true.

    1. David Webb

      Re: Far from innocent

      Don't forget the several different women who are in love with the protagonist.

      The upper class tsundere with blonde hair (foreign naturally)

      The shy girl with glasses and huge 88 inch tits

      The cheeky girl who has characteristics of a cat

      The childhood friend who may actually be a bit of a stalker

      The younger sister (yeah, Japanese manga/books seems to be going in that direction....

      And assorted other women who want to shag the hero even though he's a bit of a plank and wouldn't get laid if he was a carpet.

      1. Sir Runcible Spoon

        Re: Far from innocent

        Sitting on the surface of the moon - won't this mean the stuff will become radioactive?

        I bet it's some kind of weird experiment to mutate the first person to drink it into one of their Manga nightmare creatures!

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
        Windows

        Re: Far from innocent

        "The shy girl with glasses and huge 88 inch tits"

        Oi!! Leave my wife out of it!!!

    2. ecofeco Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Far from innocent

      I think I just hurt myself laughing.

      Well done, sirs. Well done.

      Cheers!

  14. Dave Ross

    Pocari sweat, tastes as good as it sounds. :-(

  15. Steven Roper

    They might want to rethink this effort

    As many large companies have found out, even unsubstantiated rumours about them advertising on the moon, or even from low-orbit platforms, invariably results in such a barrage of rage and hate and threats of mass boycotts that corporations like Coca-Cola, Pizza Hut and McDonalds have had to fork out millions in damage control debunking the rumours. Every time some advertising twonk get the idea of defacing the moon, the reaction is always the same: any company that defaces celestial bodies will never get our business.

    Of course, advertising droids are born with short-circuited cerebral regions that render them completely delusional and cause them to think that people actually crave advertising and want more of it, but even they must realise that such an activity would destroy their clients' businesses when they get hit with the fury such proposals inevitably generate.

    When I watched Hancock (a movie about an inept superhero) I found the ending amusing for this reason: Hancock had managed to cover the face of the moon with the heart logo of the charity he'd been supporting. It made me laugh because the real-world reaction to something like that would have utterly destroyed said charity and the cause it was supporting by association!

    So no company with any experience of this would want to be associated with defacing the moon. Even though Pocari Sweat is only sending up a sealed canister that won't be visible, a quick Google of this subject and a read of the comments on any news article about it will reveal that this is very likely to do them more harm than good. It will be interesting to see if they actually go ahead with the launch next year after seeing the deluge of hate mail they'll get for this. The only thing in their favour is that they aren't a multinational, and so can't be boycotted by an angry world (and whether the Japanese boycott them for it remains to be seen), but should they ever wish to become one, they may well find their progress stymied by a worldwide reputation as "the company that dumped its litter on the Moon!"

    1. Message From A Self-Destructing Turnip

      Re: They might want to rethink this effort

      While I do agree with the points you make, the sad reality is that twenty or so commentards (and counting) on this site alone, had never heard of this product until this morning, but are all now talking about it. The effort has already paid of.

      1. Mage Silver badge

        Re: They might want to rethink this effort

        But I don't think any of us would buy it.

    2. splodge

      Re: They might want to rethink this effort

      "The only thing in their favour is that they aren't a multinational, and so can't be boycotted by an angry world"

      Otsuka Japan, Otsuka Europe and Otsuka America beg to differ

  16. myarse
    WTF?

    Sweat? I was about to press the send corrections button.

    Although I'm not sure what is worse this or Ghanaian Pee Cola.

    1. ShellShockeD
      WTF?

      Re: Sweat? I was about to press the send corrections button.

      damn it dont start on the pee cola

      1. Sir Runcible Spoon
        Coat

        Re: Sweat? I was about to press the send corrections button.

        "damn it dont start on the pee cola"

        Why? Is it addictive?

  17. ro55mo

    It's actually rather nice

    I drank buckets of it while I was in Bali. It's a light lemon flavour.

    Can't say I approve of littering on the moon though...

  18. MaXimaN

    "When the Lunar Project succeeds, Pocari Sweat becomes the first ever beverage to arrive at the surface of the moon."

    By 'arrive at' I think they mean 'crash land and create a new crater".

  19. Arachnoid
    Trollface

    "parachute landing" ?

    Space lift.........no need to carry the extra payload and waste energy with onboard thrusters

  20. Dom 3

    First beverage

    The first was communion wine drunk by Buzz Aldrin just before the first moonwalk:

    http://swampland.time.com/2013/07/20/the-secret-communion-on-the-moon-the-44-year-anniversary/

  21. Willybee

    Tang was there first.

    Traveled with all US Astronauts.

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