back to article iPhone too heavy? Volkswagen brings out motorised ride-on dock

Apple and Volkswagen have joined forces to produce a new version of the iconic Beetle enhanced with all sort of Cupertino-inspired bells and whistles. Teams from both firms worked together on the iBeetle, which looks pretty much like the car which used to be produced without a lower case 'i' inserted in front of its name. It …

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  1. TechnicianJack

    Maps

    We can expect lots of iBeetle drivers to get lost while using Apple maps then.

    1. LarsG
      Facepalm

      Re: Maps

      Who in their right mind needs a dedicated Apple dock in their car?

      I thought that was what Bluetooth was for.

      It will probably be cheaper to go out and buy a phone cradle than add the dock to your list of options.

      At £300 as an extra option would you buy it?

      Then change to an android phone a few month later?

      The world has gone mad, mad mad mad mad.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Comes in two colours,

      Black and White.....

  2. countd
    Facepalm

    Duh

    How daft will you feel when you can no longer connect your new phone to your four year old "iBeetle" (Jesus wept) due to another change in connector by these grasping shits? This is a car for morons, by morons.

    1. TechnicianJack

      Re: Duh

      Maybe the iPhone dock will be a removable/replaceable component? Probably not, seeing as it's an Apple iCar. They'll just expect you to buy the new one when the next iPhone comes out. People will still queue to get it though.

    2. Evil Auditor Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Duh

      countd, do you really expect these people driving their iBeetles for four years without terminally crashing?

      1. TechnicianJack

        Re: Duh

        Something else I just thought of is re-saleability. If you don't have an iPhone, how many of the car's features will you not be able to use?

        If this car was to be sold on to another owner, would they have to sell an iPhone with it? Or in several years time would a new owner have to have two phones? An old iPhone to get the car stuff to work, and a new phone to take with them?

        Assuming the life span of the average car is about 20 - 30 years before it is no longer roadworthy/scrapped, will people want to have a car that needs a 20 - 30 year old phone to work?

    3. podperson

      Re: Duh

      The iPod 30-pin connector dates back to the third generation iPod of 2003, which would mean Apple changed its connector after NINE years. And they also ship a tiny adapter which would, if Apple's behavior repeats itself, allow iBeetle users to adapt when Apple changes its connector in 2021.

    4. Velv
      Trollface

      Re: Duh

      You're making the assumption they'd keep the car for four years.

      If you're fashion conscious enough to change your iPhone every year, you're fashion conscious enough to change your iBeetle every year.

    5. Ron Christian

      Re: Duh

      ESPECIALLY since it's an inescapable part of the i-culture that users must swap phones every time an incremental improvement is shat out, or run the risk of not being hip. So what do users do the first time an i-phone comes out that won't fit in their i-car? Replace the car? Wow, if VW can get away with that, they'd be set for life.

  3. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    Who's your daddy?

    It is not meant to be your master.

    Paul Waters, but you did hear of Apple before, didn't you?

  4. James 36

    blah

    Apple and VW just f**k off, go on , just f**k off

    1. Elmer Phud
      Devil

      Re: blah

      And how should we fuck off, oh Lord?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uMJYQ9LKGQ

      (and don't put the speakers on if you're in the office)

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    waits for the first accident caused by...

    an iOS update that won't let the user do anything until it completes....at 70mph in the outside lane :-)

    1. Velv
      Trollface

      Re: waits for the first accident caused by...

      not Apple's fault, you were holding the steering wheel wrong.

  6. g e
    Holmes

    What a pity...

    All that effort just as people are getting bored of apple products

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What a pity...

      Is it just me, or has the fad for producing products like this *specifically* designed around the iPhone (or at least prominently featuring iPhone-only docks) died down recently, with the increase in popularity of Android devices?

      Good thing, too. They always truck me as.... just naff, basically. Something about building them to work only with the single device-du-jour, probably to be rendered obsolete when Apple released a new version just made it obvious that they were cheesy boys' toys one couldn't take seriously.

      Even if the device worked using other supplied interfaces or connectors, the empty, unused dock in a position of prominence screamed "If I'm not dated now, I'll be dated in 18 months time!"

      Seems ironic that VW released the ultimate obsolete-before-its-time Apple device at this point in time. 2010 called, they want their tacky iPod docks back.

      Nothing against devices that work with the iPhone, I just don't want them to be *specifically* designed round that- nor any other phone or OS that's going to be obsolete by the time the phone's contract comes to an end.

  7. Silverburn
    Happy

    Recalls

    Given Apple's penchant for offloading blame for defects (and the resulting $bn's of cost) on it's suppliers, VW better watch out.

    Not to worry - it's a VW, so the driver will at least be familiar with the recall process and has probably memorised the trip to the dealers already - probably for the oil consumption.

  8. FartingHippo
    Stop

    iBeetle?

    iBoughtThisCarTenYearsAgoAndNowItsFullOfOutdatedUselessShit

    1. Silverburn

      Re: iBeetle?

      Given the fashionista nature of the prospective buyers, they won't have one of these longer than 3 years, so they won't care.

  9. Lamont Cranston
    Unhappy

    Good grief.

    I don't normally get car sick, but now have a great urge to throw up.

    1. Lars Silver badge
      Linux

      Re: Good grief.

      Yes, hard to understand, what did Apple pay, and why will Volkswagen go with Apple. Very odd as Volkswagen is the number one in Europe, why not go with a more open solution like Linux. No Volkswagen for me definitely.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Windows

      Re: Good grief.

      Words.

      Mouth.

      Taken.

      Out.

      Of...

      +1

  10. Droolster
    WTF?

    April fools day way weeks ago.

    Milestone stickers unlocked for completing tasks? Can I download in-car purchases to make it do faster?

    1. TechnicianJack
      Trollface

      Re: April fools day way weeks ago.

      Task 1,

      Purchase the iBeetle without the sales team secretly laughing at you.

      Objective failed.

      1. Gav
        Mushroom

        Re: April fools day way weeks ago.

        Woohoo! I can see the automated Facebook statuses now!

        Apple Fanboi ... has spent 45 minutes in a jam at the same set of traffic lights and unlocked "Who phased these b******ds?" achievement. Sent from my iBeetle.

        Apple Fanboi ... has just parked across two disabled parking bays and won the "Handicap by crippling stupidity and selfishness" achievement. Sent from my iBeetle.

        Apple Fanboi .. has just died in a fiery ball of flame by not paying attention to the ro@d and unloc+ed the "Game Over" ac4ievement. Se^t fr&$ m@ !i} ..... .. .

  11. DAN*tastik
    WTF?

    Does it have cameras pointing outward to automatically take pictures of the best hipsters it spots on the streets, and Instagram them using your favourite filter?

    Can it tweet your order to your favourite barista while it drives itself to the closest and trendiest Starbucks?

    Will it self combust if driven out of Shoreditch?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Does it have cameras pointing outward[....]"

      Remember, this is typical Web2.0, so it must be about that all-important subject, "ME!"

      So, the iCameras MUST have the iOwner in the iPicture, so all his iFriends can iSee what the iOwner is iDoing!

      1. DAN*tastik

        Re: "Does it have cameras pointing outward[....]"

        iSee... Good point :)

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Is it going to cost 3 times as much as other beetles?

  13. Fred M

    Hipster detection complete

    My hipster twat detector used to require both a Vespa and a helmet with Momo Designs written on it. Now it just needs an iBeetle. (I wonder what team of geniuses spent hours in a design workshop to come up with that name.)

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    My Kia C'eed has a bloody connector for an ipod and has for years

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Was it reasonably priced?

      That is whay I always think of.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @ Kia AC

      You have owned your car for years and you still don't know what it is called?

  15. BornToWin

    This is just stupid

    As if Apple fanbois aren't already braindead, now they need more distractions while they attempt to operate a motorized vehicle? I can see the lawyers lining up now...and they should. This is just irresponsible marketing and mayhem looking for a place to crash.

    1. Visual Echo

      Re: This is just stupid

      As an owner installed option, we shouldn't have any trouble suing them if they cause an accident. Texting while driving is illegal over here in some of the states, I'd guess just having it plugged in while moving would qualify for a citation.

  16. Admiral Grace Hopper

    If we are to have a similar link-up between Samsung and Ford can we get the name re-spelled as 'Galaxie' rather than 'Galaxy' please? I'm happy to use the phone of that name, but not the motor vehicle.

  17. ecofeco Silver badge
    WTF?

    Dear god

    Why?

    First they make it ugly and now they make it stupid.

    1. Darryl

      Re: Dear god

      Sorry, you're going to have to be more specific about which item you're referring to

  18. GitMeMyShootinIrons
    Coat

    Oh dear.

    I'm indifferent about Apple kit. If it works, that's fine.

    Reducing a car to a glorified mobile phone trinket? I don't care which vendor it is, this is bad in so many ways.

    Excuse me, mine's the one with a full sickbag in the left pocket.

  19. Irongut

    Granny Smasher awarded!

    you have killed 50 grannys

  20. Weeble

    Prior Art

    Didn't George Lucas already think of this one?

    X-Wing = R2 Dock

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Prior Art

      As I understand it, R2 and the whole "Astromech" was inspired by the SR-71's astronavigation module.

  21. JDX Gold badge

    In a nod to the iPhone’s color scheme, the new iBeetle can be ordered in...

    black or white, surely?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: In a nod to the iPhone’s color scheme, the new iBeetle can be ordered in...

      If they offer it in black-and-white, then it will be funny watching all the iHipsters being confused with GeekSquad members.

    2. Darryl

      Re: In a nod to the iPhone’s color scheme, the new iBeetle can be ordered in...

      The white one will be delayed by a year while Apple refuses to approve the specific 'shades' of white available

    3. Bush_rat
      Facepalm

      Re: In a nod to the iPhone’s color scheme, the new iBeetle can be ordered in...

      "In a nod to the iPhone’s color scheme, the new iBeetle can be ordered in “Candy White”, “Oryx White Mother of Pearl Effect”, “Black Monochrome”, “Deep Black Pearl Effect”, “Platinum Grey”, or “Reflex Silver”."

      So yeah, black or white.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Windows

        Re: In a nod to the iPhone’s color scheme, the new iBeetle can be ordered in...

        What???

        No Heliotrope???

        Bugger....Had cheque book on standby...

        Oh well...

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Almost hits the trifecta

    This *almost* hits the trifecta - they just need to make it either a plug-in hybrid or a full-on electric vehicle, and the hisptergasm will be planet-wide.

    As South Park put it - this will be the ultimate source of smug.

  23. Colin Millar
    WTF?

    Big Data or completely useless information

    Why would you want to measure lateral g in a beetle? Get it much above 0 and you will have something much more interesting to observe - still at least you can use the phone to call someone to put your car back on its wheels.

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