back to article Bottomless, unsatisfied Xbox widow cuffed after boyf flees nookie

A Pennsylvania woman whose boyfriend was keener on his Xbox than a roll in the hay faces charges of indecent exposure, simple assault, open lewdness, and harassment after allegedly assaulting the gaming aficionado, then giving pursuit naked from the waist down as he made for a nearby convenience store to call 911. Heather …

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  1. jake Silver badge

    Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

    ... if your partner(s) is(are) more interested in the computer/drugs/comics/alcohol/politics/religion/sports/exercise(in any form)/ElReg/TV/music or anything else than they are in you, as an individual ... my advice is to simply move on. That person isn't worth the effort. Life's too short.

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

      There is too much information missing in order to make any judgement.

      Was she/he a top model or a fugly ball of meat ?

      When was the last time they had sex ?

      Was he/she any good in bed ?

      Did she want sex or just to receive some attention ?

      *******************************

      And most importantly

      What game was he playing ?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        She's a big girl though

        Looking at the picture of him, he should have taken his opportunity because I doubt that he will get many other chances in life. A typically pasty gamer who spends too much time on the Xbox.

      2. Homer 1
        Paris Hilton

        "fugly ball of meat"

        Yes.

        http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/15/heather-hayes-pantless-arrest_n_2877913.html

        At this point the specifics of the game are moot. I'd rather play Atari's ET, widely recognised as the worst video game of all time, than even be in the same room with her.

        --

        Paris, because she's not Heather Hayes.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Stop

          Re: "fugly ball of meat"

          @EVERYONE thinking it's her fault.

          So what is it then? Is it that the internet and all things intellectual dismiss human primitives that have proven to withstand 100,000+ years of human existence somehow permit a male of a species to knowingly deny his partner of genetically ingrained pleasure for 2 DAYS so that he may remain unaware of his environment to continually stare into a light source? And we haven't even discussed what "choices" he might think he has yet. However, he is clearly not married or ever will be, so there's another +1 for the statistical bastard son...just what the world doesn't need.

          Today's young males are pathetic, it's all me me me all the time...whiny bitches.

          Where's the "Downvote EVERYONE" button?

          1. Bernard M. Orwell
            Stop

            Re: "fugly ball of meat"

            @myBackDoor

            No means no. End of. No argument, no debate. Thats the law and it counts just as much for men as women.

            You don't get to shout at us either, or attack us with your fists or kitchen implements/knives because thats assault. You also don't get to destroy our property, no matter how "sad" you may think it is. You thinking something is sad is not admissable as a defence in a court of law you know.

            If you choose to ignore these simple rules (the same ones that men have been bound to observe for quite some decades now), please don't be offended by the injuries inflicted on you in self-defence whilst protecting ourselves from domestic abuse, violence and assault.

            Now, shh.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: "fugly ball of meat"

              @Bernard M. Orwell: WOW! You brought the concept of property into this, do you still carry a club for the ladies?

              @Psyx: I understand that, but if you think being a man requires the same treatment that a woman receives, then everyone is just a "Shemale". For better or worse, it is not like that. You can bring the law and equal rights into this all you want, but thinking those trump issues like this, is intellectual and naive. Again, I understand your point, but in some cases using intellect to balance what mother nature has in mind is not going to lead to balance results when tallying them against human written laws.

              Ask yourself, as a man, can you out think everything? Then ask yourself, if a woman rapes you, how ugly does she have to be for you to press charges? Trust me, your reaction is not similar to a females, but if all things are "equal", then they would be correct?

              I understand the violation of personal space, but rape? As a man, the entire rhetoric of this issue would be much simpler to agree upon if the kid wasn't all about himself and not letting her have her time with him.

              Anyways, I stand strong on this point: If you as a man neglect your woman of sex long enough, especially over something like video games, you get what deserve. Please, as a man, keep the whole "no means no" and "everything is to be equal" in the arenas it to which they belong. Women still have it hard enough without men falsely climbing in the ring of neglect, we're just not there yet.

              1. Danny 14
                Alien

                Re: "fugly ball of meat"

                Based on those photos I think both of them have faces for radio.

              2. magrathea

                Re: "fugly ball of meat"

                You are going around the houses to find an excuse for holding a sexist double-standard

                ie.

                Assualt by man against a womona is the man's fault

                Assault by a woman against a man is also the man's fault...somehow

              3. Bernard M. Orwell
                FAIL

                Re: "fugly ball of meat"

                @myBackDoor

                No. I didn't meant the woman as property. You should read my post again. I meant if she had, for example, destroyed the Xbox. That would be criminal damage.

                Mind you, given the way you are thinking, and if that is representational of women in general (which it isn't), I think keeping a club handy might be a good idea...

          2. Psyx
            Mushroom

            Re: "fugly ball of meat"

            "@EVERYONE thinking it's her fault."

            Rape and attempted rape are ALWAYS the fault of the person doing it.

            It doesn't matter what gender they are, and it most certainly doesn't make the person being raped 'frigid'.

        2. Imsimil Berati-Lahn
          Childcatcher

          Re: "fugly ball of meat"

          Thanks (I think) for the link. Nightmares etc...

          They BOTH of them look like Matt Lucas characters to me.

          Please annotate such links as not suitable for minors.

    2. the spectacularly refined chap

      Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

      ... if your partner(s) is(are) more interested in the computer/drugs/comics/alcohol/politics/religion/sports/exercise(in any form)/ElReg/TV/music or anything else than they are in you, as an individual ... my advice is to simply move on.

      Frankly I wouldn't want to be around anyone display that kind of attitude with no reference whatsoever to the circumstances. Can you honestly say you've never stayed at teh pub past the time the missus expects you back for example? If she's demanding sex but it's 2am and you are in work early the next day is a refusal really unreasonable? Finally, consider your own prejudices. If the genders were reverse and it was a naked man chasing a woman around the neighbourhood and demanding sex would you still feel the same way?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

        Yoof today: "If you are not giving me all your attention then I'm leaving you!"

        Perhaps she should have found out what he was like before getting naked. That's how we did it in the olden days before "being in a relationship" meant having sex with someone who hadn't actually committed to you.

        1. Steve Mann

          Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

          " That's how we did it in the olden days"

          What "olden days"? I'm older than Nitrogen and in my youth lads would bonk anything that would lie still long enough. That is what youth is for and why it is so stupid. There is nothing left to think with if you are bonking your brains out as per the design spec.

          The aberrant part of this sorry tale is the bit about the slug who spends all day on the XBox instead of in the saddle.

          1. oddie

            Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

            i agree with you that at a certain age boys would likely rarely refuse a chance of sex, and so i am not downvoting you, but this older boy/young man did say no, and his refusal was not accepted (from what the register is reporting and from the content of the huffington post article). This did not happen in the uk, and I don't know about the specific laws where this took place, but i would imagine that trying to force someone to have sex with you (after they have made it clear that they don't want to) is illegal in most juristictions.

            Of course, you just pointed out that most boys of a certain age would not refuse sex with a girl or woman, which from my personal experience holds true. I am just adding to your statement the fact that in this case the individual did refuse, and that the fact that males of a certain age usually wouldn't refuse sex shouldn't take away from his right to decide when and who he wants to (or doesnt want to) have sex with.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

              I knew she was going to get clingy. So I said, "No, lets not go there," but she raped me anyway. True story. She was smokin hot too. Sometimes it's not worth the ensuing trouble. (Let the taunts being...)

          2. Someone Else Silver badge
            Thumb Up

            "Older that Nitrogen..."

            Hadn't heard that one before. /me likes...can I use it?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ... @the spectacularly refined chap

        Well... actually... I think there is a massive gender bias in this kind of thing...

        A woman refusing sex witha man she is in already in a sexual relationship with, very common.....

        A man refusing sex with a woman he is already in a sexual relationship with, rare enough to require a brain scan to check for a tumor...

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Be serious

      The relationship was doomed the day he bought the Xbox.

    4. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Holmes

      Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

      "if your partner(s) is(are) more interested in X than they are in you then BAD CONSEQUENCE"

      Why talk like a young one on the ultimate ego trip?

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

      I am more interested in breathing than in any human.

    6. Psyx
      Stop

      Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

      "... if your partner(s) is(are) more interested in the computer/drugs/comics/alcohol/politics/religion/sports/exercise(in any form)/ElReg/TV/music or anything else than they are in you, as an individual ... my advice is to simply move on. That person isn't worth the effort. Life's too short."

      Oh, so you give every waking moment to a partner, to the exclusion of everything else, all the time?

      Way to doom a relationship!

      (Also grounds for murder, should your partner be an only child)

    7. Wize

      Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

      From her violent actions, which may not have been her first attack, maybe it is not that he was more interested in the xbox, but just wanting an excuse not to spend time with her in the hope that she will give up and move on without being too violent.

      Had this been an article about a man demanding sex from a woman and assaulting her when she refused, it would have a different tone to the one many are reading, ie the gamer's fault.

      Violence by anyone against anyone else is not the answer.

    8. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

      If you expect your partner to be more interested in you than anything else, at all times, then you are an egomaniac, and they are better off without you.

      Whilst a relationship where one partner ignores the other all the time is doomed, a relationship where one partner expects constant attention from the other, over all else, is equally doomed. The trick lies in finding the right balance in the middle.

      in this case, it sounds like the guy wasn't paying his girlfriend enough attention, but it also sounds like she is not entirely sane and reasonable herself, given that she was running around naked from the waist down.

    9. magrathea

      Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

      If the genders in the scenario were reversed, the man would be being 'too demanding' and to-boot also chauvanisticaly assuming the women was his property. Odd how, no matter what the situation, it is always the man who is somehow criticisable and the woman the 'victim' of him...somehow

      1. NumptyScrub

        Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

        quote: "If the genders in the scenario were reversed, the man would be being 'too demanding' and to-boot also chauvanisticaly assuming the women was his property."

        Actually, if the roles were reversed the man would probably be found guilty of several sexual offenses and be looking at time in jail and a lifetime on the sex offenders register.

        But it was a woman that did it, so it's fine, she obviously had a good reason for it :)

    10. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

      Many replies on this thread demonstrate considerable confusion over the meaning of the phrase "more interested". Jake didn't write "to the exclusion of everything else", or "attending to you at every moment". While I'd agree that there are circumstances under which jake's advice is not optimal - history is full of people who report satisfaction in relationships with partners who are obsessed, to some degree, with some other matter - as a general principle it's true that unsatisfying partners are generally not difficult to replace with someone more fulfilling, and life is too short to waste it with people who don't improve it.

      Of course, given the generally sophomoric quality of postings on Reg forums (as in most online venues), the overwrought reactions to his post are hardly surprising.

    11. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hint, kids (of any gender) ...

      If your partner is this person, my advice is to simply move on. She's crazy. You don't put your dick in crazy.

  2. Dazed and Confused

    sad

    what else can be said, anyone more interested in a xbox than sex is clearly already dead.

    1. DF118

      Re: sad

      Sex in general, yes. Sex with a particular person whom one does not want to, no.

    2. dogged

      Re: sad

      Maybe, but to judge from the pictures on the Huffington Post (link here) we should all be thanking Microsoft, the game publisher and probably Sony and Nintendo too for discouraging them from breeding.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: sad @ dogged...

        My EYES!!!!!

        Need mind bleach....

        I did not need to see something so distressing in the morning....

        1. TimeMaster T
          Pint

          Re: sad @ dogged...

          Thanks for taking the hit and saving the rest of us.

          I was pondering following the link when I read your comment.

        2. Fatman

          Re: sad @ dogged... @AC

          I must agree.

          I can easily understand why he did not want to have sex with her. Just take one look, and ...

      2. ian 22
        Unhappy

        Re: sad

        I must be prescient. I knew what they looked like before seeing the piccies. What a cynical bastard I've become.

      3. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. Psyx
      Pint

      Re: sad

      "what else can be said, anyone more interested in a xbox than sex is clearly already dead."

      Anyone who is automatically more interested than sex with anyone than anything else in like is pretty sad, though.

      It depends on the person in question and the game.

      I'd take an hour with Lara Croft over a roll in the hay with a typical Jeremy Kyle guest any day of the week, but even a decidedly plain paramour would draw me away from having to play PGA Tour.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: sad

      "sad

      what else can be said, anyone more interested in a xbox than sex is clearly already dead."

      Could be read as "I'd drop anything to have sex" also means "I'm so desperate for sex because I have no real sex life"

  3. ChrisM

    sheesh....

    Xbox live? More like Xbox dead belw the waist...

    At this rate the human race is heading the way of the Pandas.

  4. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Boffin

    Think of it

    As evolution in action.

    1. Aldous

      Re: Think of it

      Would not of happened in Todos Santos!

    2. Matt Bryant Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: Think of it

      "As evolution in action." If only they'd both been somehow killed during the chase - say, the dumpster truck driver had run them over - it would have made a great double-Darwin entry!

  5. Mussie (Ed)
    Trollface

    I Vote

    Fugly

    1. Great Bu

      Re: I Vote

      Fugly ? No, I would say a bit further down the scale, possibly 'Swamp Donkey' or even 'Horse Worryingly Ugly'.....

      1. Danny 14
        Pint

        Re: I Vote

        Im sure ive had worse. I vaguely remember events after weekend pass in hamburg where I woke up next to a monster from the lake. Not as bad as my mates favourite story when he woke up in belfast when a kid shook his foot asking "are you my new daddy?".

        ah good times.

        There are problems though if you'd rather play for 2 days on your xbox than shag your missus. I mean looking at the fella I doubt he'd waste more time than a map loading break anyway.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pix or it didn't happen.

    Well?

    1. jai

      Re: Pix or it didn't happen.

      here you go:

      http://ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4901817041161148&pid=1.7&w=190&h=145&c=7&rs=1

    2. Jim Carter
      Trollface

      Re: Pix or it didn't happen.

      Well of course it didn't happen, hence the woman running down the street in the nip!

    3. Goldmember

      Re: Pix or it didn't happen.

      " Pix or it didn't happen. "

      Look a few posts up for a non-naked image. Then, retract your request at full speed. Pix definitely NOT needed on this occasion.

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