back to article BBC: Monster cargo ship delivers '863 million tins of baked beans'

The BBC has sensationally quantified the cargo capacity of a new behemoth container ship as "863 million tins of baked beans". Auntie's penchant for describing very big, heavy, strong or long things in terms mere mortals can get their heads round is well known to Reg regulars. Last year, it described the constricting force of …

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  1. Pen-y-gors

    American Broadcasting Corporation?

    Why does the Beeb like to use units of measurement which are totally meaningless to its audience when trying to make things meaningful? Containers filling a public square in somewhere in North America? How big is a Times Square? is it as big as Trafalgar Square? Or as big as Machynlleth Town Square? And is a Brooklyn Bridge as heavy as Trefechan Bridge in Aberystwyth (pretty heavy, believe me, it's made of stone) or heavier than the new Severn Bridge? Please, please, please use comparisons we understand.

    1. Robert Helpmann??
      Childcatcher

      Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

      This should not be a cause for complaint. Rather, look at it as an opportunity to unite both sides of the Atlantic through the Register Units of Measurement Program (RUMP). From now on, large weights should be expressed in terms of Brooklyn Bridges (bb) while masses of industrial building materials should instead be expressed in terms of Eiffel Towers (et). This is similar in concept to avoirdupois and troy measurements of weight. While it does nothing whatsoever to simplify the scales used to measure these things (especially as there are already official Reg UOMs for weight), there is nothing so unifying as confusion.

      1. GBL Initialiser

        Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

        They already have us covered. El Reg has a "Vulture Central units" converter

        http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/page/reg-standards-converter.html

      2. Euripides Pants
        Childcatcher

        Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

        Uniting via the RUMP?!

        NO THANKS!!!

    2. NoOnions
      Flame

      Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

      My guess is that the BBC knows it has a large Amercian readership. The average UK citizen will have heard of Times Square and the Brooklyn Bridge whereas the average American won't have a clue about Trafalgar Square, etc.* After all, all American TV shows and films have to inform the viewer that London is in England and Paris, France, etc.

      I agree though, it is slightly annoying.

      * A sweeping generalisation, I know!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

        "Paris, France, etc."

        I thought Paris was in Texas. Oh well.

        1. Stuart Castle Silver badge
          Paris Hilton

          Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

          I thought Paris was wherever she wanted to be..

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

        That's staggering! Americans can read English?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Happy

          Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

          The Chaser - English to American translator

          The Chaser boys have a go at American tourists.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IX6K77zHwg

          Bill Maher, makes his point how dumb,ignorant and uneducated the majority of Americans are.And backs it up with facts. The ones who dislike and hate Bill Maher, are the same people who belong to that category of ignorant, embarrassing dummies. Thank You for watching!

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fys3MsKMpms

          Julian Morrow (Chasers War on Everything) interviews (very stupid, normal) Americans and asks questions about the world. The answers are hilarious, enjoy! Very funny.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMC_ZZlGZkY

          For the smarter yanquies... and those in Queens Land, we suffer the Dumb Fuck Syndrome quite badly in Australia too.......

      3. mark1978

        Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

        Perhaps the same way that whenever US dollars are quoted the conversion to Pounds is omitted unlike with every other currency.

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

        Alternatively, the BBC was just indulging in some lazy churnalism from the Maersk press release. Check the second photo on the page - it's Times Square:

        http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21432226

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

      All part of the great Americanization program. Have you noticed what they've done to "BBC English"? The strange moratorium on the word aeroplane? I wonder how much longer they'll wait before feeling it's safe to start slipping in "airplane".

      Y'all have a nice day.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

        Do get it right!

        It's "Y'all have a good one".

    4. Wize

      Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

      "How big is a Times Square? is it as big as Trafalgar Square?"

      Not everyone in the UK knows how big Trafalgar Square is either (other than on a Monopoly board).

      I'm not sure and I've stood in it. Though that was pre-Olympics and I couldn't see a thing for the high fences.

      How about George's Square? Or if piled outside Stirling Library, does it reach the cone on the statue?

      http://comeheretome.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/well.jpg

    5. AceRimmer
      Facepalm

      Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

      "Why does the Beeb like to use units of measurement which are totally meaningless to its audience when trying to make things meaningful?"

      RTFA

      I know there is a growing trend amongst hard of reading wing commentardship to prevent facts getting in the way of a decent rant but the BBC didn't make that comparison, that image was from Maersk

      As the text under the image states

      "This image from Maersk shows what 18,000 shipping containers look like in the wrong place"

      1. Z80

        Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

        You're right, people don't take the time to comprehend things before they respond.

        BTW I don't think Pen-y-gors was being serious. Take it easy Ace.

        1. AceRimmer
          Gimp

          @Z80 Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

          I'm thinking about removing the "Ace" and fully embracing my inner Rimmer

    6. Tom 260

      Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

      To be (slightly) fair, I've seen and heard American sources compare large objects (typically the bigger asteroids, or ice shelves that have calved from Antarctica/Greenland) to various smaller US states, several of which I'd struggle to place on a map beyond generally north-eastern USA, let alone have an idea of their general size (though I believe there is one that's the size of Wales, give or take a few sheep).

    7. Eddy Ito

      Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

      Speaking as an American, I can honestly say I haven't a clue how big Times Square is. Judging from the pictures, it's a lot like being in an overfull elevator only outside, unless you're unusually tall of course then it's more like a large overfull open air elevator. They might as well make comparisons to Bowditch crater. As for the Brooklyn Bridge, I've seen it from afar but never picked it up. While we're on the subject I've actually been in the Eiffel Tower but didn't take the time to estimate its mass.

      Now then, how big is a tin of beans? In sardines preferably, but I can convert from linguine and jubs.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Eddy Ito (Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?)

        I believe the correct unit of measurement for beans is "hill". (That is, according to my extensive research into bean measurement metrics, which consisted of watching Casablanca.)

    8. Diogenes

      Re: American Broadcasting Corporation?

      Probably quoting a press release & they couldn't be bothered converting to El Reg units

  2. banjomike
    FAIL

    ...terms mere mortals can get their heads round...

    Sorry, no. I cannot visualize "863 million tins of baked beans" any more than I can imagine lots of double decker buses balanced on top of a brace of stegosauruses (which according to the BBC were the size of a single decker bus).

    1. Grikath
      Pint

      Re: ...terms mere mortals can get their heads round...

      All I know is that that many beans would produce one mighty fart....

      Icon, because need need to was it down properly.

    2. Robin

      Re: ...terms mere mortals can get their heads round...

      How about 10 x 863 million student meals? Any easier?

    3. NightFox

      Re: ...terms mere mortals can get their heads round...

      Has the Beeb now officially dropped Olympic Size Swimming Pools from it's official units of measurement?

    4. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Boffin

      Re: ...terms mere mortals can get their heads round...

      863 million tins of baked beans

      So how many Ann-Margret's could swin in that amount of baked beans?

  3. falsedan

    earth to moon is a bit further that reported ...

    closest around 350,000km, not 350km

    1. Fuzz

      Re: earth to moon is a bit further that reported ...

      ISS not moon

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: earth to moon is a bit further that reported ...

        That's not a moon!

  4. Tim 11

    too complex for us mere mortals to understand

    All I need to know is, is it bigger than Wales?

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: too complex for us mere mortals to understand

      According to my reckoning, it would require ~260000 million cans to cover Wales one bean deep, so 863m tins really isn't all that much. It would cover the City of London to about 4½ inches deep.

      1. Androgynous Crackwhore
        Thumb Up

        Re: too complex for us mere mortals to understand

        It would cover the City of London to about 4½ inches deep.

        Now that I'd like to see. Kickstarter?

        1. Dixie Nourmous

          Re: too complex for us mere mortals to understand

          But how much toast would that require ?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Mushroom

            Re: too complex for us mere mortals to understand

            More importantly, how many of these ships would be required to drown the financial industry in their own waste products?

  5. Frankee Llonnygog

    Proper units

    Area vs area of Wales, and volume expressed as a number of whales, please.

  6. Vulch
    Mushroom

    Bang

    At a shade over 46km, that tower of containers would have been about the right height to get clipped by Fridays meteor in Russia.

    1. Mister_C

      Cosmic Jengo

      Good job nobody had tried to stack them then, would've made quite a din when they tumbled

  7. Silverburn
    Holmes

    And the name of this ship is...?

    <-- his skills are required, apparently...is the Triple E the class, or the name?

    1. Jedit Silver badge
      Headmaster

      "is the Triple E the class, or the name?"

      It's the class, obviously. You see it, and you go "Eee, that's a big ship!"

      1. Pen-y-gors

        Re: "is the Triple E the class, or the name?"

        Could we please have a suitable photo to illustrate how young ladies on the beach compare in size to an Eee

  8. JDX Gold badge

    A billion tins of beans

    Not any easier to get one's mind around... a billion is too many to conceptualise.

    1. Silverburn

      Re: A billion tins of beans

      I'd have been more impressed if they'd quoted the volume in the number of actual beans. Utterly irrelevant, but impressive all the same.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    bit dubious about 18,000

    I work in shipping and that may be a little on the high side. Largest extant per wiki (don't have official figures to hand) is currently about 15,000 and teu figures are fudgable. Weight is significant.

    Perhaps more imporatantly, the shipping industry is run mainly by morons who sell at lows and buy, and commission massive newbuilds, at the peak of the market (from wiki, "In February and June 2011, Maersk awarded Daewoo Shipbuilding two US$1.9 billion contracts ($3.8bn total) to build twenty of the ships").

    Going by that, the current bubble is about to burst. Caveat emptor.

    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Go

      Re: bit dubious about 18,000

      I'm going to guess they've gone with the total ship volume which is naturally not the entire cargo area (small things like engines, crew accomodation, the tower, etc tend to get in the way...

      18,000 total size, 15,000 actual cargo carry ability. Sounds about right to me...

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: bit dubious about 18,000

        18,000 teu is how many they could stack and be within the height and sight line limits

        15,000 teu is how many they could hold at typical average container weights

        If next years christmas popular present is made of lead it will be lower, if there is a big craze for bubble wrap it will be higher

  10. Syed
    Facepalm

    And if you...

    ... lay the containers out flat they would cover an area the size of Felixstowe (or thereabouts).

    1. graeme leggett Silver badge

      Re: And if you...

      I thought Felixstowe was already covered by containers.....

  11. Captain TickTock
    Boffin

    How many olympic-sized swimming pools...

    would you need to hold all those baked beans

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Re: How many olympic-sized swimming pools...

      ...and how many Roger Daltrey dolls would you need to sit in them with their loofah's?

      Mine's the one with meaty, bouncy things in the pockets, and no they're not made of horse!

  12. Richard 81

    When I read that article I just new El Reg was going to have a go.

    I'll admit they did labour the point a bit.

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