back to article ‘That’s not art’ says Apple as it pulls nudes from AppStore

Cupertino’s prudery has struck again, after photography market 500px’s app was pulled from the AppStore over its depiction of nudity. According to the company’s COO Evgeny Tchebotarev, the app disappeared at around 1am (US Eastern time) on January 22. The million-download app has reportedly been spiked because it allows users …

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  1. OMGROFLSKATES
    Paris Hilton

    what we all love.... I <3 BOOBS!

    BOOBS! We all love boobs! Everyone need's boobs. Cept for the lads who love lads but even thoes lads have boobs, a bit flat boobs...

    just to top it off...

    Jay: Yeah. Silent Bob, you're a rude motherfucker, you know that? But you're cute as hell. I could go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys, make like a circus seal.

    [Jay makes a rude head gesture and car horn honks]

    Jay: Ewww, you fucking faggot, I hate guys. I LOVE WOMEN!

    Paris: Because we've already seen her Bulgarian Airbags and much more!

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: what we all love.... I <3 BOOBS!

      ?

      Jay and Silent Bob do know how to deal with internet trolls: (NSFW as if you had to ask- no nudity, just profanity and violence)

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l1_8wefR7c

      1. BorkedAgain
        Thumb Up

        @ Dave 126

        Thanks for the clip from that lame Jay and Silent Bob movie. Those guys are clownshoes...

        Oh hang on, that's my doorbell...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: what we all love.... I <3 BOOBS!

      Just for your info, a lot of lads who love lads still love boobs.

    3. LarsG
      Meh

      The American dilemma

      Allow violent hack and slash, shoot and kill films and video games.....

      Allow nasty death videos on You Tube.....

      Disallow the odd titty, bare bum and nipple.....

      The mentality of the American amazes me.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The American dilemma

        Yvonne Boyd: Really clothes are just things that cover up our mutual nakedness, I mean, underneath our clothes we're, all of us, naked. Even you, Alan.

        Alan Partridge: No, I'm not.

        Nina Vanier: All we are saying is that underneath your clothes you are naked.

        Alan Partridge: No, I'm not.

        1. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: The American dilemma

          Or:

          "We're all naked underneath our clothes"

          Granny Wheatherwax: "I'm not- I've got three vests on!"

    4. Anonymous Coward
      IT Angle

      Re: what we all love.... I <3 BOOBS!

      @OMGROFLSKATES

      What the F is all this shit about?

      What a twat!

  2. Dave 150
    Thumb Down

    It doesn't bode well for Apple TV lol

    1. Wize

      They will probably only allow one channel that carries any nudity and ban anything else that does, so you have to subscribe to it.

      Do they still have the Playboy app on their store? I remember when they banned other people's apps but not Playboy's due to the amount of money they got from Playboy to keep them on (and probably a bung to kill off opposition)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re one channel that carries any nudity

        That would be the iPorn channel, I suppose.

  3. Spoddyhalfwit

    I walked past an apple store today and it was full of tits.

    1. Eponymous Cowherd
      Thumb Up

      Not to mention.....

      Arses and, errm, "front bottoms"

    2. BorkedAgain
      Thumb Up

      @Spoddy

      I'd upvote you but I like the fact you've got 69 supporters. Wouldn't want to spoil that...

  4. Simon Harris
    Thumb Up

    "browsers – which last time El Reg checked, allow access to all manner of inappropriate content"

    Which El Reg staffer drew the short straw for that job then?!

    1. Tom 35

      Re: "browsers – which last time El Reg checked, allow access to all manner of inappropriate content"

      At least they give you an adult content warning when you download Opera.

    2. TeeCee Gold badge
      Coat

      Re: "browsers – which last time El Reg checked, allow access to all manner of inappropriate content"

      I think the correct question there is; "Why weren't there any long straws in the bunch?"

  5. banjomike
    FAIL

    idiots...

    ...what about this one on itunes. Not safe for work. (remove spaces)

    https:// itunes.apple.com/ag/app/cunnilingus-101/id381996885?mt=8

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: idiots...

      NSFWork? Depends on what you do, dunnit?

      Is it just me, or does "as it relates to her most feminine of openings" have a certain Monty-Pythonesque ring to it?

      AC. Facial hair.

    2. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Paris Hilton

      Re: idiots...

      cunnilingus, wasn't that the name proposed for the new airline created by the mergre of Continental Airlines and Aer Lingus?

      I can't understand why the merger never took place, but I did hear that the only destination was to be Paris.

  6. mIRCat
    Paris Hilton

    Obligatory

    Pics or it didn't happen.

  7. Magani
    FAIL

    Prudery ..

    ...thy name is Apple.

    1. Thomas 4

      In this grey world of ethics

      ...I take comfort that I have such a noble and moral company as *Apple* to show me the path to righteousness.

      1. TRT Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Re: In this grey world of ethics

        Well as soon as they partook of the apple, Adam and his missus took to wearing fig leaves...

  8. Steve Evans

    A country founded on the idea of freedom and escaping religious persecution... You could have fooled me!

    1. Jiminy

      a country founded by puritans escaping from rules preventing religious persecution actually

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        a country founded by puritanical hypocrites escaping from rules preventing religious persecution actually

        There, fixed that for you. Note: it's not all of them. It's just that they hog the limelight, and most of them seem to work for companies that allows them to affect/ruin the lives of many others.

    2. ian 22

      Freedom aplenty!

      Own a newspaper? You can print as you please. Own an iTunes Store? Sell (or not) whatever. Begin to see the pattern? Money! And plenty of it.

      Else you can go rant backabeyond.

  9. Robert E A Harvey
    Alert

    Priorities

    USAnian priorities baffle me.

    A gun in every hand is good, but catching sight of a pair of tits will cause the downfall of civilisation?

    Sounds like the taliban to me.

    1. stanimir

      Re: Priorities

      Guns are granted by the constitution, tits - no so much.

      The sheer truth is that porn lobby is just too weak.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Only in a Well-regulated militia - 1792 Militia Act defines that

        All free males aged 18-45 to have a musket, ball and powder, the nature and organisation of the militia, all defined within a year of the second amendment by the guiys who drafted the second amendment

        It is not a licence to have more guns than teeth

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Only in a Well-regulated militia - 1792 Militia Act defines that

          You're not supposed to combat the NRA with boring facts.

        2. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: Only in a Well-regulated militia - 1792 Militia Act defines that

          Actually, it's conditional on America not having a standing army- which now they do. And then some.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Only in a Well-regulated militia

            >Actually, it's conditional on America not having a standing army- which now they do.

            ..in all fairness to the NRA, only the Northen US States have a standing army these days....

      2. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Priorities

        "Guns are granted by the constitution, tits - no so much.

        The sheer truth is that porn lobby is just too weak."

        Should the porn lobby give stiffer opposition?

        Sorry couldn't resist

      3. Red Bren
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Priorities

        Surely tits were granted by God?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Once they started manually reviewing apps in their store they were on a hiding to nothing. Getting into the store implies that Apple have reviewed as suitable, therefore if there's anything in the store that's deemed inappropriate by just about anyone, anywhere, ever, Aplle have some culpability

    It must be like a giant millstone that they didn't let the community control the apps with scoring or something, they could always sidestep the responsibility issue then

    I bet Apple hate the management overhead they have to apply to their App store, but it's the core of their walled garden approach. Control Everything.

  11. Khaptain Silver badge
    Meh

    Choice for the adult user please

    Can't Apple simply inform the user that the App may contain nudity and that the final decision be put upon the buyer as to whether or her/she wants to install it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Choice for the adult user please

      I was about to answer that that meant aligning with every country separately, but then I realised that that would be at least the first benefit I can see from having separate Apple shop sections for each country (you know, the thing that makes you go to the -MUCH- cheaper amazon store to buy a record because it isn't available in your country for some reason).

      Having said that, I dislike censorship by a 3rd party because protecting children is a parent's job. I am very much not OK with a 3rd party imposing their version of morality on kids, especially if it's from a country that can get into a total outrage over a nipple (not even the full works) on TV whilst being entirely A-OK with a never ending repeat of kids being slaughtered in school and people being mowed down whilst shopping. Call me strange, but I have trouble considering that anywhere near what I would consider normal.

      (no, I wasn't going to link to some dodgy NSFW pics - not my style).

    2. Nordrick Framelhammer
      Trollface

      Re: Choice for the adult user please

      That will allow the user real choice, which is something that Apple simply cannot allow. It would run contrary to their goal of controlling everything.

  12. frank ly

    I was shocked

    I went to 500px, looking for harmless pictures of tits and was presented with a spread-legs picture with an offensive title. It's a dangerous internet out there.

    http://500px.com/photo/8424098

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I was shocked

      Bearded...and tits? People need to be warned about this kind of stuff.

  13. Jonathan 29
    Unhappy

    Android Porn

    I have to say the quality of the porn apps on Android (alternative stores too) is equally disappointing if not downright rubbish and I have tried, Where is the innovation in this important field?

  14. Andrew 73
    Big Brother

    Better ban Tumblr then.

    Lots of filth there. Not that I know. It anything.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Better ban Tumblr then.

      My favourite site by far!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "T&Cs, which says users will not use the service “To post or transmit, or cause to be posted or transmitted, any Content that is libellous, defamatory, obscene, pornographic, abusive, offensive, profane, or that infringes any copyright or other right of any person;”

    Apples T&C's mean you can't use your phone for any kind of fun, unless you think facebook updating, twattering or downloading 1000's of fart app is fun.

    1. Jess

      offensive

      Couldn't anyone with an iDevice who is offended by violence complain?

      Perhaps if enough did that they may have to rethink.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: offensive

        >Apples T&C's mean you can't use your phone for any kind of fun, unless you think facebook updating, twattering or downloading 1000's of fart app is fun.

        It's never occurred to me to look at pron - or tasteful erotica - on my Android phone. A tablet, possibly, but it ain't a 'deal breaker'.

  16. CaptainBlue
    WTF?

    It Depends On How Big You Are...

    So Tumblr and Flickr apps are absolutely fine then, but 500px isn't?

    I see...

    http://500px.com/RHMPhotographic

    1. Rameses Niblick the Third (KKWWMT)

      Re: It Depends On How Big You Are...

      Not to mention the availability of Tumblr apps.

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