back to article iTunes fanbois outraged by Apple's sex-life quiz probe

Apple iTunes users are peeved at being made to answer a three-part questionnaire about their cars and where they had their first kiss as part of a compulsory security regime. The new measures sparked outcry on the support forums with punters deriding the interrogation as easy to guess and inappropriate. Fanbois are required to …

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  1. JDX Gold badge

    I got forced to setup similar things when I lost my iPad password. My problem was they only had a very limited set of questions and many of them I had no answer, or didn't know the answer... I've only ever owned one car, I didn't have a favourite or hated teacher, etc.

    1. frank ly

      er ....

      You're not supposed to give the 'correct' answers. These are just reminders for what are effectively a set of passwords.

      What was my first car?: Rolls Royce Silver Turd

      Where was I first kissed?: On my arse

      ....

      etc

      1. Elmer Phud

        Re: er ....

        'Where were you on 1st January 2000?'

        Not a clue, I was absolutley rat-arsed.

      2. LaeMing
        Go

        Re: er ....

        I imagine I was first kissed in a hospital, but I will have to check that with my mum.

      3. Syd
        FAIL

        Re: er ....

        No, of course, but you ARE supposed to give the EXACT same answer.

        Will you really remember in 5 years time whether you typed "On my arse" or "On the arse"?

        (Security questions aren't silly in principle, but ones with ambiguous answers are!)

      4. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

        They don't say that.

        In fact, some services have a contractual condition that you must provide true information.

        Another service I've used wants to know the name of my favourite actor AND wants me to log in regularly and change the answer. What, so now I'm obliged to appreciate culture whimsically? Presumably they want me to be their loyal customer, but I can't be loyal to Ashton Kutcher? (...For example.) Also, presumably I have to keep the answers secret... the love that dare not speak its name... What if I secretly become a stalker (of whichever favourite actor we're talking about), and then, through no fault of my own, I get caught? Maybe I should just put down Glenn Beck no one will guess that.

      5. JDX Gold badge

        You're not supposed to give the 'correct' answers

        Yes but unless there is an obvious answer, I WILL forget. Ending up playing guessing games with myself "what would I have said here" is a waste of my time :)

        1. Dan 55 Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: You're not supposed to give the 'correct' answers

          Answer to "What was my first car?" is "123apple456wwmfc789".

          Repeat as many times as required. It's probably the only reliable way I've got of remembering hundreds of annoying security questions.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: You're not supposed to give the 'correct' answers

            It's quite simple. If you don't like their questions, give the answer "Fuck off" for each one.

            I'm sure you'll remember that.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Surely some better questions for Apple owners.

    What coffee shop do you work in?

    what is your favorite colour of plastic device

    Who is your favorite fashion designer

    what is your favorite Instagram filter

    1. AndrueC Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Surely some better questions for Apple owners.

      What first made you deify Steve Jobs?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Surely some better questions for Apple owners.

      ... what are these plastic devices you speak of? All mine are glass and aluminium.

    3. Graham Marsden
      Devil

      Re: Surely some better questions for Apple owners.

      Or "Have you ever jail-broken an Apple device?"...

      1. Steven Roper
        Devil

        @ Graham Marsden

        Not really a good question, since it's a yes-no answer, giving crooks a 50% chance of getting it. Oh wait, scratch that: you're pretty guaranteed to get it right by simply answering "no", since given Apple's track record of deliberately bricking jailbroken devices, no fanboi would actually admit to having jailbroken one to Apple, even if they have.

        1. Graham Marsden
          Facepalm

          Re: @ Graham Marsden

          @Steven Roper

          Consider what would Apple would be likely to do you you if you answer "yes" to that question...

  3. alain williams Silver badge

    Least favourite job

    For plenty of people that question is a complete non starter, it implies that they have had at least 2 jobs ... what about the lazy arses who have never bothered to work ? Ditto cars - unless you count the ones that they have nicked, or even know who their father is.

    I suppose that they do need to provide a list of questions, most people would not be able to come up with things themselves - although it would be nice for those who are more able.

    1. Invidious Aardvark
      Headmaster

      Re: Least favourite job

      Actually "least favourite" would mean you had had at least 3 jobs, since least is a superlative. If you'd only had 2 jobs it would be "less favourite job", less being a comparative.

    2. Steven Roper

      Re: Least favourite job

      >implying chavs buy Apple gadgets...

  4. Tim Parker
    Joke

    Sex life

    iTunes fanbois have a sex life ? Who'd have thought.....

    1. Anonymous John
      Unhappy

      Re: Sex life

      You beat me to it. You don't expect to find all those words in the same sentence.

    2. toadwarrior
      Trollface

      Re: Sex life

      More than android owners by what I've read.

      1. JDX Gold badge

        Re: Sex life

        Indeed given that Apple fans are the cool kids, and we all know girls are too stupid to prefer brains over cool :)

        Note to self: perhaps calling them "too stupid" is a bad move...

        1. ItsNotMe

          "Note to self: perhaps calling them "too stupid" is a bad move..."

          Not to worry...probably aren't many "skirts" around here anyway.

    3. stanimir

      Re: Sex life

      it's iSex LIVE!

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    For goodness sake - you don't have to give correct answers, just memorable ones ("Favourite car - Scalextric" or something)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Favourite car - Scalextric"

      Yes because nobody ever mistyped or mispronounced that as 'Scalectrix'.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Verify or die

    The company I work for made us answer similar questions to verify our identities over the phone. They wanted the answers to six questions but we had to choose from their examples, a list they had to increase when people found it hard to pick good ones.

    Alas there was no validation on the input form they used to collect the answers, so you could have the same question multiple times (a facility I used when I could only think of answers to five questions). You could also have a different answer to the same question so it will be interesting to see if anyone attempted that - I was sorely tempted.

    That said I think a previous commentard said it best when they said you don't have to give "correct" answers. My first car was actually the space shuttle and my favourite music is the sound of a thousand tortured souls.

    No I don't work for Microsoft.

    1. Elmer Phud

      Re: Verify or die

      I know someone who puts in answers like that on forms at the local Job Center.

      So far he's never been asked to clarify why he would want to be a megolomaniac bent on world domination.

      1. AndrueC Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Verify or die

        Rupert Murdoch has already signed on?

        Wow. That was quick :)

    2. ItsNotMe
      Coat

      Re: Verify or die

      My D.O.B. is always 01 January 1900. Not doing too bad for an old codger.

      Mine's the one hanging on the electric wheel chair.

      1. Steven Roper
        Thumb Up

        @ItsNotMe

        I always put my DOB as 20 July 1969 (the day of the Moon landing). It's only a few years+months after my actual birth date, so it doesn't arouse suspicion with regard to my physical age, and Dad getting me out of bed to watch Armstrong give his famous speech on the telly, is my earliest childhood memory - hence the day I was "born" to my own awareness.

        Only my bank and certain government agencies have my real DOB (which given said agencies' propensity for USB sticks, laptops and trains probably means world+dog have it by now anyway!)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @ItsNotMe

          Maybe you should have posted that anonymously.

  7. davefb
    FAIL

    re making stuff up

    well thats a genius idea isn't it.. because obviously in 6 months when asked for the answers again, I'm obviously going to know the same made up answers.

    Got the same questions last week, only the first set was usable , the second set, I think I could answer, though it depends on the mood which childhood friend I'd pick ( I moved and thats the only question I think has a memorable answer) and the 3rd , that was hopeless.

    grrreat..

    1. jai

      Re: re making stuff up

      Making stuff up is the only safe way to do it - if you give a real answer, then someone is going to be able to guess it or work it out.

      I've been doing it for years. By now, I have a set of answers for most of these types of questions, the answers are completely unrelated to my life, but I know them well. It's no harder than having to remember a dozen different passwords or differing complexity here at work. And at least these types of questions don't have to be changed every 30 days.

      1. FatGerman
        Gimp

        Re: re making stuff up

        "It's no harder than having to remember a dozen different passwords or differing complexity here at work."

        I've got a pretty good memory for facts, but I struggle to remember two passwords because they have to be made-up stuff with "at least one digit and one capital letter". If I start making up answers to security questions as well I'll start doubting my own identity pretty soon.

  8. jake Silver badge
    Pint

    ::giggles::

    This is going to become entirely too funny ...

    Marketards have absolutely no clue about TheRealWorld[tm].

    Beer, because it's afternoon somewhere :-)

    1. Steve Renouf
      Pint

      Re: ::giggles::

      Yes, here too - mine will be sliding down my throat with silky smoothness in about half an hour...

      Yum, yum...

      1. LoopyChew

        Re: ::giggles::

        That's what she said!

  9. Winkypop Silver badge
    FAIL

    I faced these questions last week

    I already have no clue as to what I answered...

    Fail for me too.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I faced these questions last week

      And don't forget Apple's new password which requires upper and lower case letters as well as numbers. I'm not sure how many times I've changed that in the last few weeks after wholly forgetting the last one.

      Surely any true Apple fan will answer 'Who was your best childhood friend' with 'Steve Jobs'?

      1. JDX Gold badge

        Apple's new password requires upper and lower case letters as well as numbers

        I got screwed by this... as a new iPad user I didn't realise the "Caps-Lock button" was actually only for the next key, which meant I kept entering the password wrong!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Holmes

          Re: Apple's new password requires upper and lower case letters as well as numbers

          If you double-tap it, it will lock on

        2. This post has been deleted by its author

  10. Matthew 3

    Also won't allow repeated answers

    If your parents happened to meet in the same city in which you had your first kiss, Apple - in their infinite wisdom - won't accept that as a possibility.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Also won't allow repeated answers

      ".....in their infinite wisdom,..."

      Bit rich?

      You bought the "i"device!

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Had one of these sets of security questions a few years ago on some site ... asked me where I went on my first holiday - however "Ireland" was rejected as not being a valid answer!

    Meanwhile Olympic ticketing site had "name of best friend" as backup question to get password reset. When I forgot what combination of capitalization/numeric/symbols I'd had to use in my password I had to go through the "forbot your password" routine and got asked the "name of best friend" ... my wife was not impressed that it took me a couple of wrong answers before I realized that I should be putting her name in!

  12. adamgarretty

    The older I get the less sympathy I have for people who continue to use products that aren't suited to them. Don't like iTunes or Facebook? Well, stop using them because it's the only way companies learn.

    Usability is rarely tested, we adapt to how the device works instead. I'm a sucker for it too but it's amazing how easy it is to stop using something if you shorten your fuse and decide to just stop using them - I just adapt like I did before.

    1. John Arthur
      Thumb Up

      Join the club!

      And I thought it was just me.

    2. The Baron
      Childcatcher

      That's all very well in principle, and I tend to agree with you, but I'd guess it's a bit of a bugger for people in the first month of a 24-month iPhone contract, say. Doubt you'd be able to hand it back for a full refund.

  13. Jedit Silver badge
    FAIL

    "I literally cannot choose from the 2nd set of questions, none of them apply"

    Fascinating. For none of the second set of questions to apply, you would have to have had no friends as a child and never have had a job or gone to school. While I can see someone buying into Apple because they have no mates and are desperately seeking approval, surely it's unlikely that the others don't apply?

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