Well damn, we have to sort this right away!
After all, I don't think "Cadbury's Carob" has quite the same ring to it!
The world's chocolate supply is at risk, according to Professor David Guest of the University of Sydney's Faculty of Agriculture and Environment. Professor Guest will tomorrow deliver a talk titled The Chocolate Crisis in which he will warn that "We're in a situation where chocolate manufacturers are anxious about meeting …
Cadbury's is USA-ian and only every really produced a low-grade sugar carrier in a vegetable-fat base.
British chocolatiers that (and there are still some, such as Coca Mountain andHotel Chocolat) do do decent chocolate; but just like a decent beer (not mass-produced crap), they need to be sought out and can rarely be bought on high-street shops.
It's these smaller producers who will suffer, but the producers of low-grade junk will weather the storm (as it will be hard to spot the quality dropping further).
Mmmm I think this is just a chocolate coloured smoke screen.
Normal practice is to buy low Cocoa-liquor (and often low-grade) chocolate from Africa and Asia and then mix in the high Cocoa-liquor content from Melanesia (the focus of this article).
The problem has been that the local Melanesians haven't been too fussed about consistency and quality.
Get them to grow better quality Cocoa and you can then really make the other rubbish go a lot further, charge more for it ('cos it tastes and smells better even though it really isn't), and still rip off the farmers and consumers.
First we tell all those climate change botherers to push off because we've got a more important crisis to solve
Then we use the money being sunk onto pointless carbon reduction schemes (I'm looking at you windmills and electric cars) and put it towards cocoa irrigation and improvement.
Surely we can use some of that space they cleared for biofuels?
In any case...tell the WWF and Greenpeace that this is our cause!
Do you have any jobs going there?
I promise not to touch the Yorkie bars. If you eat too many you'll either break your teeth or your fingers on them, so they'll need health and safety stickers. You must wear safety goggles when eating them. Also you need a diversity awareness officer, to deal with the sexual discrimination inherent in the Yorkie marketing.
But quality control is required for the Wispas. You've got to make sure they're being stored correctly, so as not to deteriorate over time. I suggest a testing regime of one Wispa per hour, just to make sure that nothing goes out of parameters. And for that job, I can think of no-one better qualified than myself. I promise to dedicate myself to maintaining your supply of Wispas in tip-top condition.
I can not stock it shead as that got 231 jerry can's in there. I going to have full up the living room that only space I have left with all my PANIC BUYING. Well I have get rid of XBox and Wii games just store to chocolate bars. I think at least 40000's choco bars and be able to survive the fortnight.
Please dont have BEER CRISIS as there is no room left at my place I would not be able to walk though hall way.
You obviously work alone then? Not one afternoon goes by in my Unix/DB team dept I work in without someone whipping out some sort of chocolate covered treat to share with the rest of the team over mid-afternoon tea break! If chocolate becomes scarce, there is going to be a serious downtown on our service calls answered and cleared stats!