back to article Ten reasons why you shouldn't buy an iPhone 5

Here we are again on iPhone day, and once more the world waits on the edge of its seat to see what the fruitchomp masterminds of Cupertino have in store. We'll tell you what they've got in store - and none of it's good. Without further ado, here are ten points you should ponder before you even think of buying a new iPhone 5. …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pure tosh

    "If you compare an iPhone to another machine which contains similar hardware, it is hugely more expensive."

    Really? Samsung Galaxy II? HTC Desire S?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Not tosh

      Really! £100 + (£15PCM * 24 months) = £460 for my Galaxy S II. I reckon' an iPhone 5 will set you back around £35PCM (for a savvy buyer) at a guess, over 24 months that's £840. Those figures based on 200 minutes/unlimited texts + 500MB data.

    2. Dropper
      FAIL

      Completely true

      Even if you buy Samsung or HTC phones upon release they're $100 cheaper than old iPhones. Buying a new iPhone will cost at least another $100 - more if you want it unlocked.

      Most droids price at around $200 with a two year contract. Most iPhones are priced at $300 under the same terms and almost every feature is worse. If having a phone that has access to iTunes but can't properly browse websites created after 1995, swap a dead battery or add more storage is for you, fine. Personally I prefer a smartphone with a full-size screen, a decent feature set and the ability to stay connected to a phone call for that kind of money.

      1. Sean Baggaley 1
        FAIL

        Strange.

        Comparing _subsidised_ prices is pointless: all sorts of factors enter into the equation.

        I bought my iPhone 4 because it was – by far – the _cheapest_ smartphone on offer (that didn't have a shit resistive, 320x400 screen). I was actually planning to buy an HTC model, but it was fully €150 _more_ expensive.

        Of course, Italian operators don't do subsidies much. And phones here are rarely locked either.

        (France has a similar market: phones _must_ be unlocked there. It's the law. Or it was when I was working there over a year ago.)

        Not everyone lives in the US. Or the UK.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          @Sean Baggaley 1

          > Not everyone lives in the US. Or the UK.

          Do you notice the address of this site is www.theregister.co.*UK* ?

          It's perfectly fine for someone to assume UK, just as it would be to assume italy if the site was .it

          1. rciafardone
            FAIL

            You fail at Internet... FOREVER

            Do you know the last time i took the site extension into account? Never. Heck unless i am looking to buy something i don't even care about the language. The internet is about connection on a WORLD level, it should not matter if you are in USA, Italy, UK, Venezuela or freaking Somalia.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: You fail at Internet... FOREVER

              Actually, you fail forever.

              How many US based sites have a .co.uk address ?

            2. Steve Evans

              RE: You fail at Internet... FOREVER

              "Do you know the last time i took the site extension into account? Never."

              Really? Your online shopping experience must be a whole world of wonder (literally). When will it arrive? *Will* it arrive? And how much did I pay for postage!!?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And it's popcorn time now yes?

  3. cloudgazer

    wow - somebody is really bitter.

  4. Northern Fop
    Trollface

    See icon

    This is just a fanboi troll, isn't it?

    Let the games commence!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      But of course..

      And of the highest order, El Reg, I salute you. What makes it even better is that all ten points are true (although number 6 is a little unfair)

  5. Wibble
    Unhappy

    Sour grapes?

    Or trolltastic?

    1. ThomH

      Embracing the adversarial system?

      You wouldn't expect an article entitled "Ten reasons why you shouldn't buy an iPhone 5" to be a balanced summary. In fact you would expect it explicitly not to include any arguments in favour whatsoever. It's just a summary of the arguments in favour of a viewpoint; the conclusion precedes the discussion.

      Obviously I'm confident that the opposing case will be forthcoming. Our favourite irreverent technical publication wouldn't descend to taking sides, surely?

      1. thecakeis(not)alie

        @ThomH

        Is that a request?

      2. dssf

        "Poncey". I laughed when i saw that, and looked it up, and laughed even more when I saw:

        "Pompous tosser", hehehehehe.... LP/UK humor is more lively than US humor, I'll say!

        http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=poncey

        "The actions of a pompous tosser who thinks their value is higher than it is actually worth. The actions of one who thinks they are either overly stylish, cool or smart etc,... "

        1. Bob. Hitchen
          Joke

          Er poncey has a whole variety of meanings including someone who looks after game birds. UK humour beats the crap out of anything from the US. However game birds do tend to reduce tossers.

          In this case poncey means more style than substance.

    2. DrXym

      Yes it's trolling

      But most of the points are entirely valid.

  6. stim

    and...

    ...you become a sheep...

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I am an iPhone developer. If Apple reverted to having removable batteries in their mobile products then I would never, ever buy one again. Who wrote this article?

    1. James Hughes 1

      Well, some explanation why being a developer and having an changeable battery are mutually exclusive would be nice - I can't see the link myself.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I think his comment is just to confirm that he is a looser of the first order!

        1. Andrew Moore
          Coat

          'a looser of the first order'???

          then sure the correct antidote would be to set him up with a tightener of the first order.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No wonder you're an iPhone developer, you can't see what's in front of your face!

      >"Who wrote this article?"

      The bloke whose byline is at the top of it, dummy. Presumably your reading skills are the reason why you thought the iOS developer T&C's were acceptable.

  8. TheRealRoland
    Happy

    Getting some popcorn...

    Hmmmm.... Butter.

  9. Jez Caudle
    Megaphone

    All true but ...

    ... think of Skype.

    On half of all Android phones it just won't work. It won't work on mine. After a software update the mic stopped working on Sony Experia phones.

    The problem is fragmentation. The iPhone eco system doesn't have that problem to the same extent that Android does.

    How many people mod their TV? iPhones and iPads are for consuming stuff and they meet that need. Us Geeks have Android and we root and install etc. When the walled gardens are erected us Geeks will still know how to tunnel and subvert.

    Each to their own I say.

    1. Ted Treen
      Thumb Up

      Well said, Jez!

      I'm no great Android fan - I LIKE iOS: but that doesn't mean I consider anyone who prefers Android is less intelligent, or that their viewpoint is less valuable than mine.

      I echo "Each to their own." - or, as they say in France, "One man's fish is another man's poisson."

    2. sisk

      I echo your each to their own sentiment on an intellectual level.

      On on emotional level though, given Apple's bad behaviour the last couple years (suing people for using the term 'pod', dumping apps out of the app store for no apparent reason, being a general dick of a company) I would desperately love to see them crash and burn. I suspect a lot of people share my feelings on that. As to the rest....

      "How many people mod their TV?"

      Um...actually....Let's just say that the big projector at the back of the room was a TV in a previous life. Maybe that's has something to do with why I prefer Android.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      mod their tv?

      what, like games consoles, blu ray players, dvd players, VCRs, satellite decoders, tivo style devices etc etc?

    4. Anon the mouse

      Hack the TV

      Yup, been there done that. Last TV had a USB port I wanted to use so after a minor hack on the original firmware it was enabled for general use.... as a bonus it turned out Video/music/picture support was unlocked when I did it too.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      re: the problem is fragmentation

      Not really.

      You can't compare a single manufacturer's product (the specs of which differ only with regard to memory size) with a lots of manufacturer's products.

      Find a droid phone that works and stick with it. I suggest not going with a manfacturer known for doing proprietary gunk like sony, when picking an (more) open platform - the cultures don't sit well together.

      And skype on a phone? Again, perhaps google's offerings might be a better bet. I can't seek skype lasting too long on android anyway, given the MS acquisition.

    6. heyrick Silver badge
      Happy

      Hack the telly?

      This is El Reg. How many haven't? (or haven't yet got around to it?)

    7. The First Dave
      Pirate

      @Jez

      Thing about the walled garden argument is that Android is also a walled garden, but since it is made of chicken wire, Google can claim that it isn't, but the bad guys can still see through it, but you can't escape when you are inside.

  10. a06274

    Not sure I get it ...

    Fascinating list, but surely anyone who already has an iPhone and is very happy with it, is unlikely to be bothered by any of the items on it, and therefore will continue to purchase an iPhone at their earliest convenience?

    What you're essentially saying is that anyone who hates Apple, and would much prefer an Android, WinPho or Nokia smartphone, should listen to your advice not to buy an iPhone if they know what's good for them? And it took two pages to say it?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      What he's saying

      is that anyone who is interested in value for money, usability and not conforming to one company's idea of how they should use their phone would, if making a rational decision, avoid the iPhone.

      People prefer Pepsi to Coke when they can't see the packaging and Coke to Pepsi when they can see the packaging. For similar reasons, this 'debate' is going nowhere!

      1. Frank Bough
        FAIL

        yeah but...

        ...he's not thinking that, you are.

        iPhones are simply excellent - by far the best machine on the market today. Whatever improvements are wrought today, it'll only get better.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "iPhones are simply excellent - by far the best machine on the market today."

          Been on the coke again Frank?

        2. Lars Silver badge
          Pint

          Nice sentence

          "Whatever improvements are wrought today, it'll only get better."

          Applies to anything, from hamster breeding to space ships.

        3. paulll
          Happy

          I think you'll find ...

          That the best machine on the market today is the Boeing AH-64D Apache 'Longbow'.

          I know which I would choose anyway.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        People?

        Actually, it is not generally true that people preferred Pepsi to Coke.

        Based on a blind test which was very poorly managed, on average people chose Pepsi - which is not the same thing and is indicative of the question we were posed, not our preference.

        I "took the challenge" and chose Coke. Pepsi tastes like soap - amazingly so did "New Coke" which was a fabulous market success - not?

        I can think of 10 rational reasons to buy the iPhone.

        Apple haters demonstrate what they are so often that it is boring to come to these forums. The fact of the matter is that you haters all hate success and want your shitty copy of iPhones to be better and keep finding useless reasons to demonstrate it.

        It's a phone FFS, and 90% of phone users don't give a toss about the OS and think that an Android is that green guy in Star Trek

        Dweeb

      3. JEDIDIAH
        Linux

        Coke vs Pepsi

        Screw that false dichotomy.

        Give me Grape Nehi, Root Beer, and Jamaican Ginger Beer.

        Time to take the blinders off.

  11. nyelvmark
    Thumb Up

    Nice one. Lewis.

    That should keep the moderator busy.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    1,2 & 10

    Are valid reasons, but the rest is just anti / bashing nonsense.

    1. sisk

      I would add 3 and 8 to your list, although I'm sure that the iPhone 5 has a better antenna than the iPhone 4 did when it came out, so maybe just 3. That walled garden model is bad for everyone except Apple. It's bad for developers, it's really bad for consumers, and Apple happily rakes in the tons of cash from it.

  13. deains
    Gimp

    Battery an issue? Er, no.

    If I tried to count the number of times I've run out of iPhone battery on my fingers, well, I'd fail to do so, as the current count is zero. It's never happened. I put it on to charge every night, and it runs perfectly well all day.

    If I anticipate needing longer than a day's worth of battery, I bring an external charger pack and plug it in at the opportune moment. This is far more convenient than trying to faff about swapping a battery.

    Also, it's a bit rich to critique battery life, it being an area that Android devices suffer greatly in, so I've been told.

    1. Matthew Anderson

      There is nothing inconvenient about swapping a battery. Hold on a sec.

      1

      2

      3

      DONE

      Carrying a large external charger about with you however is extremely inconvenient when compared with carrying an additional streamlined battery.

      I just came back from hiking 92 miles, I brought along an additional PHAT battery which weighed a few ounces. Far preferable to carrying a large heavy external charger.

      I'll stick with my Nexus One purely for those reasons ta :-)

      1. Steven Gray
        FAIL

        aaaand...

        ...when you got home you had... oh that's right, two batteries to charge sequentially to get back to square one (all while the phone is tethered to the wall, USB, car, whatever). Yep, I can see how that can work... not... and oh yeah, been there, bought two T-shirts...

        1. BoldMan
          Devil

          Desperate to find fualt much?

        2. Daniel B.
          Boffin

          @Steven Gray

          ""...when you got home you had... oh that's right, two batteries to charge sequentially"

          You seem to have missed the "went out hiking 92 miles" part. I think there's no way he was going to be able to charge his phone at all, given the lack of power outlets during said 92-mile hike.

          I remember having two batteries for my Fujitsu Lifebook 280Dx; thanks to this, I was able to cope with a long flight running on both batteries. :)

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Hiking, I just used a solar charger

            For my iPhone while I walked the trailwalker Oxfam 100KM course, no heavy extra battery, no "heavy" external charger "simples"

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