Sod the tea
Where can I get an El Reg cup?
Here at Reg Hardware, we rely on a regular supply of fresh tea in order to function properly. We'd like to think we're rather good at brewing our bevvies too, but apparently there is actually a science to it. Boffins at the University of Northumbria have come up with a mathematical formula that can be applied to produce the …
The Reg used to have something of a merchandising arm, though it's kind of got a bit fractured these days by the looks of it. Try this link:
http://www.cafepress.co.uk/cashncarrion
There's another "Spreadshirt" shop still active but that only seems to do T Shirts. www.cashncarrion.co.uk seems to just redirect to the Reg main page these days.
At £15 for a large mug though, you'd have to be one to buy one.
A couple of years ago Ben Goldacre covered this kind of nonsensical "research" and called it PR-reviewed data: http://www.badscience.net/2009/08/pr-reviewed-data/ and http://www.badscience.net/2006/12/mediaslut-ideas-money-corporatewhore/. The Daily Mail in particular has a weakness for "equations" like this that are cooked up by marketing companies. I know times might be hard for universities but endorsing this claptrap doesn't make them any more credible or advance proper science. I'd have a lot more respect for Cravendale if they just said "Buy our milk. It makes tea taste nice". As it is they tend to be one of the more overpriced milk brands around: generic supermarket stuff is cheaper. Personally I'd improve a cup of tea by throwing away the tea bag and replacing it with a decent freshly ground coffee.
Oh, and did Ian Brown really mean his "palette"? Most of us use our palate for tasting.
+1 to mhoulden (or specifically Ben Goldacre) as I thought exactly the same when reading the same "news" in a free paper this morning.
Not to mention the fundamental flaws in the "science" that miss out the environmental conditions - how cold is this milk for example that allows for cooling from 100C to 60C within 8 minutes? Is the bag squeezed or left in? What's the mug made of (ie what are its heatsink properties?) Are we assuming that room temperature is below 60C in order to allow the tea to cool to that temperature?
Then I realised I needed to get a life and closed the paper.
Come on, enough with the holier-than-though po-facedness. Are you really so media-illiterate as to genuinely think this kind marketing is claiming to be real science? I think not.
I find it really hard to believe anyone reading this site assumes this perfect cuppa stuff is an endeavour that's even remotely scientific.
Ben Goldacre is quite right to point out bollocks masquerading as science, especially when it's big pharma companies and the like, but this tea business - even if it wasn't a milk marketing exercise -is no such thing.
Thank goodness most Reg readers have a sense of proportion.
I'm fairly sure most people would see through this, but it's not the point. What's happened is that Cravendale have managed to get some advertising masquerading as news, a University has damaged its credibility by signing on (I don't imagine for a second they actually wasted any resources, just put their name to what they were given). It may not seem much on the face of it, but it's the thin end of the wedge in terms of turning credible science into sheer sponsored nonsense - where would you propose we draw the line?
... as Professor Joad used to say. In this case, it depends on what type of tea, the preferences of the drinker (I know several who find 2 minutes stewing far too long, and others like me who prefer longer), etc.
For instance, with a straight Ceylon (Sri Lanka) tea, or a Ceylon/Assam blend with at least 2:1 ratio, I prefer it without milk. Less Assam in the mix also means that a stronger tea can be brewed for longer (over 5 minutes with pure Ceylon) without going bitter. On the other hand a high-Assam blend can taste good after a short brew.
No, sorry, their research is rubbish. They obviously didn't have anywhere near a large enough sample size of either teas or drinkers. 5/10 for effort...
That's crappy instant coffee, not the sort of "builder's tea" you get from Typhoo et all. A good cup of tea as drunk by many a plumber, joiner or decorator demands boiling water and, as others here have suggested, using the teaspoon to squeeze every last drop of potential out of the bag.
Or use a teapot, if you like being archaic and using a tea strainer for straining tea.
I often leave the bag in as it's the only way to get the darn drink strong enough.
Interesting to note, wherever you go in the world - the US, Australia, wherever - the teabags are woefully feeble. Only in the UK do we have bags capable of making a good, strong brew.
It's just a shame so few Brits appreciate it.
FX: Briton waves bag vaguely in the direction of cup filled with lukewarm water
As with any rule, there is an exception. Tazo "Awake" black tea is about the best you'll get in the US, and is surprisingly good.
Even more surprising is that it is the tea served in Starbucks. Their "coffee" may be undrinkable, but they do make a decent cup of tea. With boiling water, no less.
PS. If you want to annoy a Frenchman, tell him that (contrary to his beliefs) the French *do* have something in common with Americans. Neither can make a decent cup of tea...
couple of points - squashing the teabag is considered bad form, allegedly releases bitter compounds best held immobile within the leaf structure. Mixing milk with teabag is also a bit of a no-no. Tea will not brew properly with milk-in-first, an osmotic pressure thing. Removing the bag before the milk goes in is also recommended since the open cellulose leaf matrix will take some of the fat out of the milk, but then i prefer the full-fat to the semi-skimmed, others don't.
"If you want to annoy a Frenchman, tell him that (contrary to his beliefs) the French *do* have something in common with Americans. Neither can make a decent cup of tea..."
That's because we focus our efforts on the much superior beverage that is coffee, but the French have no excuse.. :)
Ok, that's a joke. In truth, I can drink neither regular tea nor real coffee anymore. I have to subsist on herbal imitations of each and miss them both equally. Stupid caffine sensitivity...
you really need to ty 'Yorkshire Tea' (http://www.yorkshiretea.co.uk/) - from a happy user with no share in the company :-) While they might be marked down for using flash as the only way in to the site, they do blend their teas well and have different variants for different regional waters.
"FX: Briton waves bag vaguely in the direction of cup filled with lukewarm water".
Funnily enough, this is exactly how my stepfather likes his cuppa milky water (I'm not going to dignify the foul concoction with the name "tea"). Frankly, given his background as a plumber, it's an utter disgrace.
I'm not overly fussed about how strong the tea is, as long as the bag has been in the water for a sensible amount of time (anything from a few minutes up to an hour is fine). Dash of milk and we're sorted.
Back in my uni days I did a little informal experimentation myself and I found that by far the most important variable was the temperature of the water. The quality of tea flavour was exponentially proportional to the temperature of the water. The upshot of that is that you want to transfer water from the kettle to the teabag/leaves as quickly as possible, before it starts cooling down. Mere seconds of waiting makes an appreciable difference. They should be emphasizing that.
Just put the loose tea/leaves in the cup, pour on boiling water. Same applies to black/green/oolong/longjing*/whatever.
*with longjing, just add more water once drunk for a second brew
PS. Kudos to your cleaner, that's all amazingly clean, no hint of spilled sugar/water/milk/tea. Even the toaster is looking polished.
Never ever pour boiling water on anything but black tea. Green and white teas especially get ruined by anything over about 75C - the high temperature rinses out the tannins and they develop a nasty bitter taste. Green/white tea should be smooth and almost sweet. Also by brewing over 2 minutes - pour hot water into a gaiwan or teapot, decant, drink, repeat. You can get about six or seven flushes (ie: fresh hot water onto used leaves) from a quality green/white tea, and the flavour develops and changes each time.
I was shocked, while having a cup of £12-a-go first flush jasmine tea in a certain very famous 3-star restaurant the other week, to have it served at near-boiling.