Looting
Bad facebook people are also organising Post Rapture Looting...
CATS to be saved by BLASPHEMERS after the RAPTURE
In case you hadn't heard, Judgment Day is pencilled in for 21 May and any Christians among you who hadn't made provision for your pets' wellbeing after the Rapture had better pull your fingers out before you take your place at God's right hand and your poor moggy is left stuck here on Earth staring at an empty bowl. Make no …
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Tuesday 17th May 2011 14:15 GMT Disco-Legend-Zeke
Photons...
...do not experience time. They attach to time, like a rider on a streetcar.
Matter is bundles of photons, dancing in specific orbits. The indivitual photons within each particle continue to attach to time, but cannot travel with time because other photons are being pulled by time in other directions. Thus, to a rock or human, time "passes." Another effect we feel, is that a bit of time becomes held back by all the "hooked on" photons, creating the feeling of gravity.
A universal superbeing would need to be composed of photons. Individual photons can be very big, certainly as big as the universe. A being made of photons would experience all the universe, but would experience time in a Santa Clausian fashion.
But, just in case, I have created a PayPal button on my home page to take care of the adorable doggie.
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Tuesday 17th May 2011 09:50 GMT Dr Dan Holdsworth
This has happened before...
I have a vague memory of seeing a programme concerning some eccentric Texan oil millionaire, who was utterly convinced that on the millennium, treasures would be found in some part of Israel. He was therefore trying to buy up huge areas of what to all intents and purposes was useless desert, to the complete bemusement of the Israeli government (who were pretty sure it was completely worthless, but were unable to bring themselves to sell to a foreigner who might, just might know more than they did).
Anybody remember the guy?
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Tuesday 17th May 2011 10:02 GMT Michael H.F. Wilkinson
Note to self: get waterproof keyboard
The people who cooked this up must have thought: "I have a plan so cunning if you gave it a tail you would call it a weasel!"
This is such a brilliant way to get money out of people. Even if the believers in the rapture wake up rather bemusedly on May 22, you can still say: You simply paid an insurance premium, we will pay out (in the form of pet care) when judgment day does arrive.
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Tuesday 17th May 2011 10:14 GMT Denarius
A marketing oportunity in Oz
And we are afflicted with someone claiming to a god, insisting we are doomed, doomed in 2012 who for once, is not a greenie alarmist or Obamas treasurer. Now there is a "save the pets rescue offer" market.
Nice to see some humour taking the mickey out of the so serious devotees of a recent belief, say only 150 years old.
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Tuesday 17th May 2011 10:53 GMT Havin_it
Perhaps I can help
I'm doing a special right now on Satanic Horde Repellent. Four cans for a fiver, ten for a tenner. Lifetime guarantee!
Also whether intentional or not, the phrase "up the heaven" is full of win. I just have an image stuck in my head now of Jesus turning up in a rickety Routemaster with a fag hanging out his mouth, saying: 'Op in then.
Will Paris be "taken up the heaven"?
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Tuesday 17th May 2011 10:41 GMT SW
Why just the pets...?
I imagine that there might be some marriages (civil or otherwise) that might well be of one Atheist and one Christian.
I ask you - what happens to the Atheist that is left behind - who's going to look after them? Who's going to ensure the fridge is stocked up and the phone-bill paid (else we cannot order in our pizza)?
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Tuesday 17th May 2011 11:05 GMT Ken Hagan
Oh ye of little faith
It seems that modern Christians no longer have faith that their God has thought of everything. And if you have so little faith, you'll be left behind on the big day. So you can take care of your pet yourself you miserable sinner.
By the way ... is it a sin to extract cash from gullible fellow-believers?
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Tuesday 17th May 2011 11:30 GMT Nigel 11
Sin to extract cash ...?
I don't think so, as long as you take the money in good faith and genuinely care about pets. You're offering someone peace of mind, which is a much better product offering than, say, Windows Vista and a pre-installed crapware bundle on a PC with 0.5Gb RAM. In the unlikely event of the Rapture during the pet's lifetime (or yours if shorter), with both yourself and the insured pets being left behind on a survivable earth, you'd use best efforts to look after the pet(s).
It's a perfectly ethical insurance policy. Unless you get a lawyer to write it, and he puts in the usual disclaimers about force majeure and acts of God. Hmmm, must find out, where and what did Dante envisage for lawyers?
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Tuesday 17th May 2011 11:14 GMT Elmer Phud
Pedantic?
"take your place at God's right hand"
Lester, I'm baffled over the term 'God's right hand'.
As, it seems, most of various gods followers are promised a seat which leads to one or two questions both of which seem to require a multi-dimensional solution.
Either God (faith not specified) has an infinite number of right hands or the 'One True Hand' is more akin to an electron with its ability to be in all places at the same time. If, though, there is one God and one right hand in a standard 3 or 4 dimensional set up (we'll ignore the others) won't there still be fighting between all the millions and millions of 'chosen few' as they bicker over who has the right to be on the right hand.
All I can say is thank fuck (I have more personal experience of that than any god) I'm left handed.
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Tuesday 17th May 2011 20:30 GMT Anonymous Coward
"God's right hand"
Not a problem - you're assuming God is standard human size. As creator of the universe he can have a right hand 1000 miles across if he wants to - so plenty of room. Or, being dead and therefore insubstantial, everyone would fit on the same spot. Mind you, I doubt that there would be sufficient qualifiers to make it an issue.
This topic is closed for new posts.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
