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back to article NO-SH*T CURE FOR BALDNESS discovered by accident

Boffins in California who were trying to deal with problems of stress in combat veterans say they may have accidentally found a cure for baldness. For now, the miracle drug is known to work only on experimental mice genetically engineered to go bald early, but there is apparently every prospect it will benefit humans too. "Our …

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  1. Smallbrainfield
    Coat

    Million Mulugeta?

    Sounds like a great name for a super villain.

    Does he plan to hold the world to ransom with his hair regrowth technology?

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  2. Tim Brown 1
    Stop

    baldness is not normally a disease

    With a few exceptions baldness does not need a 'cure' since it is not a disease. It's simply a part of the natural evolution of the human body and humanity in general to be less 'hairy' Chimps -> us.

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    2. Ken Hagan Gold badge
      Reply Icon
      Happy

      Re: baldness is not normally a disease

      Neither is erectile dysfunction, but viagra sells well.

      Do not under-estimate the purchasing power of men (or their partners) looking to recapture the glories of youth.

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      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Jobs Halo

        Translation

        Don not underestimate the purchasing power of men trying to get laid!

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    3. HRH Martin
      Reply Icon
      Stop

      Obviously someone with a full head of a hair

      F**k sorting out cancer and the cold, this is the SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  3. Mark 125
    Coffee/keyboard

    ...chronically stressed mutant mice

    I for one welcome our chronically stressed mutant mice overlords!

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  4. hexx

    hmm

    could grow few dreadlocks on my back with this to look like an ancient creature

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  5. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Cure boldness or look like a troglodyte?

    It will be interesting how they manage to control it.

    Though some people would probably like with little or no control anyway so they have the looks to fit their ego.

    http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=dailymash+putin&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

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    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      boldness?

      I thought the cure for that was war.

      That usually gets any boldness genes out of the breeding population really quickly....

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    2. Gav
      Reply Icon
      Boffin

      That's not a sweater...

      Read what the article says people! "expecting to easily separate their stressed mice by looking for **hairless backs**".

      If you wish a hairy back then this is the drug for you. Ain't nothing promised for your folically free bonce.

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      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: That's not a sweater..

        I can just comb my back hair over my head. Problem solved.

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        1. Ammaross Danan
          Reply Icon
          Coffee/keyboard

          Re:

          "I can just comb my back hair over my head. Problem solved."

          <--- Icon. 'nuff said.

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  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    too bloody late

    At this rate there is going to be hundreds of millions of old giffers moving in slow motion with their zimmer frames flicking robert plant hairdoes as they go.

    I dont know wether to laugh or cry.

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  7. Mike 140

    this is a title

    So to hide my dome, I cover my head with hairy mice. Have I got that right?

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    1. Fluffykins Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Only if

      You are Paul Daniels

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    2. TeeCee Gold badge
      Reply Icon
      Joke

      @Mike 140

      Don't say it!

      You'll have Elton John wandering around with his ears full of mouse piss.....

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      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Joke

        Mouse piss

        Well, that will make a change as it's usually coming out of his mouth...

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  8. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Don't want mine back....

    ...saves a fortune in haircuts and shampoo :-)

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    1. Fluffykins Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      SHAMpoo?

      Hey, I got money. I can afford REAL poo.

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    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Don't want mine back

      I salute my fellow chrome domed A/C...

      Solar panel for a sex machine!

      Now where's the fecking sun gone? It's cold!

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      1. Charles Manning
        Reply Icon

        Just stay away from the pool table

        You might get confused with a cue ball and end up with little round blue chalk marks on your head.

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  9. Steve 48
    Paris Hilton

    Sooo....

    ...how long before the V1agra bunch start touting this?

    Paris 'cos, well, erm I wonder if she knows anything about a particualr form of baldness?

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  10. CT

    Hair on mices' backs -> human heads?

    Or will the this just cause any remaining hair in humans to grow, like those annoying bristles coming down your nose and out of your ears?

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Alternatively

      It will give every man worried about their attractiveness to women a full head of hair and a lovely hairy back.

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      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        FAIL

        You know nothing

        The sad fact is that many men with no hair on their head already have luxuriant growths on their back - nature's double whammy.

        And I just bought a .me domain touting referring to my baldness (but not my hairy back) as my personal website. So if this drug works and takes off I will be faced with a renaming job in a few years.

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  11. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    When the cure for baldness finally comes

    It won't be cheap. The problem we'll have then is that baldness will become a sign of poverty and will become more of a turn-off than it is today.

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    1. davtom
      Reply Icon

      Baldness

      Or, of course, the sign of a confident individual.

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  12. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

    I know what will happen

    the drug will be suppressed by wig makers and hair transplant clinics so they can carry on grabbing money from us poor baldies

    now wheres my tin foil hat... my bald patch is getting cold

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      "he drug will be suppressed by wig makers and hair transplant clinics "

      F.A.S.T.

      Federation Against Slaphead Treatments.

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      1. John 62
        Reply Icon
        Go

        Lt. Col. Kojak Slaphead III (Bald Brummies Against The Big-Footed Conspiracy Party)

        Headslapping!

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  13. John Sager

    One small issue

    This may be a cure for stress-related baldness, but what proportion is that? Us slapheads with too much testosterone won't benefit at all. I'm not sure I would want Robert Plant's youthful locks anyway - too much like hard work to maintain.

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Too much testosterone

      Is that whay baldies are so angry with the likes of me and my lovely locks?

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  14. Jedit Silver badge
    Coat

    Hey, you! Over there!

    What's it like to have no hair?

    Is it hot or is it cold?

    I don't know, coz I'm not bald!

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    1. The Indomitable Gall
      Reply Icon

      I've not heard that one for AGES.

      THE mid-eighties post-haircut playground taunt of choice.

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  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nah!

    I'd still clipper it all back. Looks much better than fairy hair-do's on a man.

    Just step outside and your surrounded by 'men' with dodgy hair* and they all look the same no matter how much they try to express their individuality.

    (*and usually flashing their arses or just forgetting to wear a belt)

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  16. Hollerith 1

    re-grow your hair, chaps

    Because you don't want to signal to the ladies that you got given a double-dip of testosterone at conception, eh?

    Baldness is oneof those male-pecking-order problems, I think. I don't know a single straight woman who doesn't see it as the sign of a manly man. Maybe I hang out in the wrong circles.

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  17. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    But...

    Who would wants a head covered with Soft Grey Fur?

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  18. mmm mmm

    Cure for baldness

    I'll believe it when I see it; which probably won't be in my life time.

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  19. paulf
    Unhappy

    Medical Patents

    During research stage, before patent

    "Our findings show that a short-duration treatment with this compound causes an astounding long-term hair regrowth in chronically stressed mutant mice,"

    After Patent granted and $$ appear in the eyes of the patent holders/controllers:

    "Our findings show that a *regular/daily* treatment with this compound causes an astounding but short-term hair regrowth in chronically stressed mutant mice, that keep paying $$/dose."

    There fixed it for you.

    Its well documented that the cure for baldness will make more money than the cure for cancer...

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  20. Steve Evans

    Or maybe...

    "Imagine the boffins' surprise, then, when it turned out that all their bald mice had grown hair again and could not be told apart from the others any longer."

    Sounds like somebody's mother accidentally killed them whilst the boffins were away, and replaced them... "They'll never notice" she was heard to say...

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  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ironically

    The Salk Institute will probably become richer and better known through this discovery than it was for developing the cure for polio.

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  22. Aaron Em

    Oh my God, who outside of bald guys even cares?

    I'd much rather they carry on to find a reliable treatment for things like irritable bowel syndrome, which I assume from "gut problems related to stress" is more or less what they were after, than be satisfied with another palliative for old white guys' egos.

    I mean seriously. Who ever ended up with ulcerative colitis or had to have half their large bowel removed because their hair fell out?

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    1. The Indomitable Gall
      Reply Icon

      Chill...

      Viagra was discovered by accident when trying to treat heart conditions, and a good commercial pharmaceutical goes a long way to covering the research costs of the whole lab. A little blue pill for baldness will be pricey, because it's cosmetic, and will help keep the costs of real medicine down.

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  23. Jano
    Pint

    Already solved

    I've been stapling mice to my head for years. Works great however you don't have many friends.

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  24. Tom 7

    Baldness has a evolutionary function

    in revealing the incredible intelligence of those who can actually notice it in others and enunciate then fact to let those of us with lower observational and social skills avoid evenings of thrilling monosyllabic banter while waiting agog for the next revolutionary biological discovery.

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  25. Maty

    even better ...

    How about a pill FOR baldness?

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    1. Andrew Halliwell
      Reply Icon

      I'm with you on that one

      I often wetshave my bonce, nice smooth scalp, lovely feeling.

      But it's such a CHORE, gimme a cure for hair!

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  26. The Grump
    Go

    Sold !

    I'll buy it.

    Hell, I'll even camp out in front of the store, so I'll be first in line the next day. Can't risk them selling out, can I ?

    Go - because that's what I'll do when it becomes available.

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  27. DI_Wyman
    Pint

    Well...

    ..rugger me up!

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