LOL
Queue much Southparkish Spontaneous Human Combustion!!!
Malawi is determined to “mould responsible and disciplined citizens” with a law banning the breaking of wind. The Local Courts Bill of 2010 is set to be presented before a forthcoming parliamentary session by Justice Minister George Chaponda. The legislation also targets ne'er-do-wells "disturbing religious assemblies", " …
Population density is high.
Infant mortality is high.
Infection rate of HIV/AIDS and other infections is high.
Life expectancy is low.
And as the old saying goes:
If you don't fart, you don't shit, and if you don't shit - you die.
If is this their government's way of enforcing population control, someone should tell them this is 2011, and there are better ways.
somebody who - like me - saw the post and groaned "Oh, god, another sad git who thinks that the height of wit is endless misquoting of snippets of a damn-near-forty-year-old film spin off of a TV programme that was starting to run out of ideas"
I mean, Holy Grail was funny.
When Cleese, Palin, Chapman, Idle, Jones did it. (Gilliam's bits weren't)
The first few times.
Now? PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD... STOP! STOP NOW! NO MORE!
And as for the Goon Show... <yawn>
Beanz Meanz Fatrz
How long a prison sentence do you get for being found in possession of a Jerusalem Artichoke?
As mentioned above how will they tell who did it? It's well known that the silent ones are the worst.
Though really if they are going to ban involuntary, unavoidable actions they should ban coughing which is known to spread diseases rather than fats which merely smell.
And it's quite likely any prisoner will have their sentance extending while farting in prison.
I can just see the Tory's putting some fart meters into our bottoms, if you've paid your fart tax, your fart comes out smelling like one of those automatic air freshner type smells, no pre-paid tax would mean it would smell like you've eaten loads of beans and a extremely high fibre diet, causing British Gas to come around looking for a gas leak lol
If we had it here, what if it like the smoking ban and you have to pop out in the fresh air to fart outside instead? Sounds like an idea to get out of doing a lot of work :-)
The Tories would install a fart tax meter and bill you on the methane content, although you'll be able to sign up for EU fart credits which you can write off against income tax. Labour would set targets for farts, you'll be fined if you don't fart enough, and get ASBOs (Arse-Supplied Body Odour) for excessively smelly farts. The LibDems will insist that everyone be free to fart, but encourage you to choose your diet to be fart friendly, and will end up agreeing to install fart meters provided the tax is on a sliding scale linked to smell. The DUP will ban farting on Sundays, and Sinn Fein will expect everyone to light their farts in the presence of legitimate targets. The BNP will deport any immigrant caught farting in public.
Oh boy, those chaps in the Malawian government are just ASKING to have their lunches topped off with a dusting of farting powder, followed by (of course) what every right-thinking and decent Malawian citizen would feel is their partiotic duty - a quick call to the boys in blue to tip them off about the indecent & criminal activities of the ruling classes ;)
Grenade because you can bet that politicians in Malawi dont have to go outside to smoke ... KABOOOM! (Guy Fawkes should have thought of this first)