back to article Scientologist overlord declares victory over Anonymous

Scientology head David Miscavige has declared victory over Anonymous in an internal church magazine. Miscavige described Anonymous as a group of "mask-wearing subversive and anarchistic internet denizens". He continues: "Having run into the Church of Scientology, they are no longer laughing out loud or otherwise. Nor are they …

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  1. nsld
    Go

    Lets hope the coffee queue is less inconvenient.

    Shades of Andrew Crossley of ACS:Law in that statement from the alien infested ones.

    Time to get the popcorn and sit back and wait for the action.

    Perhaps the aliens have a fire (breathing lizard) wall to protect there sites from an anonymous LOIC drive by.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      "Time to get the popcorn and sit back and wait for the action"

      It is Friday, the pubs are open and I have beer in the fridge.

      /waits impatiently for beer O'clock.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Time to get the popcorn and sit back and wait for the action."

      Doubly wrong.

      Sarah declared snacks other than popcorn are to be used in such scenarios. Besides which, it isn't time to sit back and watch, it's time to get out your Guy Fawkes mask and go stand outside in the cold.

      http://www.whyweprotest.net/

    3. T J
      Coat

      Yup, he opened his mouth and removed all doubt

      Could this be a deliberate troll by the ChurchOfBadSF or are we going with the standard theory that they are too memestruck to have any brains at all?

      Yes, popcorn required.

      Mine's the one with the opera glasses.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Victory?

    I dunno, but this cult* is certainly trying to be more stealth. I have recently started hearing about "Citizens Commission on Human Rights" from ads in certain podcasts. Turns out that this is just a front-group for the cult, and not something which is immediately ovious . Which is a real shame.

    It either means the makers of the podcasts are members of this cult, or not as intelligent and sceptical as I thought they were. Not sure whether or not to carry on listening to them as I do not want to give any support to this cult in any shape or form.

    As for Anonymous...I don't really support what they are doing, but I understand why they are doing it. When the government fails to act in the defence of the people, it falls to the people to defend themselves. While I don't like what Anonymous are doing, at the moment I don't have a better answer than their direct action against this cult, and other anti-freedom organisations.

    *Scientology is not a recognised religion here, so I feel safe in calling it a "cult".

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      Victory?

      "I dunno, but this cult* is certainly trying to be"

      I misread that and thought you were referring to the head of scientology for a moment there.

      New keyboard please!

    2. DeanFox
      Thumb Up

      Citizen's Commission on Human Rights is cult front.

      The CCHR is the front group which focuses on the church of scientology "Global Obliteration of Psychiatry" agenda. Their propaganda states that psychiatrists were behind 9/11 and orchestrated the Holocaust during World War II among many other evil things.

      While I am all for over sight of "big pharma" and against excessive use of prescriptions to treat depression, especially in kids, if I were Islamic then the CCHR would be Al-Qaeda (way to extreme for me and an embarrassment which only serves to damage the reputation of my beliefs). Incidentally I also happen to believe much of the over prescription problem is down to demand generated by the people for a quick fix. I digress.

      Anonymous activities as far as the church of scientology is concerned have centred on world wide peaceful campaigns, lobbying and education which has proved quite effective; although they have bought a lot of buildings they're all pretty much empty. The early cyber "terrorist" attacks stopped after a couple of days and the first global protest started Feb 10th 2008, they have been running monthly ever since but have purposely become less organised so the cult don't have fixed dates when they can be ready for them.

      Anonymous activities regarding Wikileaks have followed the cyber "terrorist" route so far although as far as I can tell they were not aimed at causing financial harm, more just a broadside shot to draw attention. If anything I liken these activities to the civil disobedience of protesters like Gandhi.

      There have already been Anonymous turning up at protests in support of Wikileaks and Assanger. And I expect this will continue as the protests activities spill out in to the real world.

      Not all Anonymous who support the campaigns regarding the church of scientology support Assanger. Not all Assanger and Wikileaks supporters care about the cult of scientology.

      Anonymous is like a city, the citizens who frequent Anonymous are like citizens occupying a City. There are many groups and sub-groups which form and disband spontaneously to do certain things. In a way rather than saying Anonymous did this you might as well say "The Internet" but Anonymous is way cooler.

      1. Ed Fingleton

        "If anything I liken these activities to the civil disobedience of protesters like Gandhi."

        I really don't feel that you can equate the actions of the people who subscribe to being part of this 'Anonymous' group with the actions of Ghandi and his followers. Especially those actions as part of the campaign against opposers to wikileaks.

        I must say, I support the anti Scientology feelings which the 'Anonymous' group have and were they promoting anti Scientology denial of service attacks I would probably not bat an eyelid. It is only since they have begun attacking reputable companies who have made a viable business decision to not support or allow their services to be used by wikileaks that I have realised that I was being a hypocrite.

        Direct action, whether via the Internet or in person up in someone’s face through violence, which in a way a DDOS attack is despite it happening in a totally nonphysical world, can NEVER be the way we treat people of different opinions to us. This is not the way to a society in which we can exercise free speech.

        In this world there are many viewpoints which I find frankly distasteful (e.g. the BNP political party in the UK) but I’m supposed to live in a country in which I can say anything as long as it does not violate the rights of others, either directly or indirectly (e.g. by inciting violence). So BNP you have a right to be here and say many things I find distasteful, Scientology do too, and I find that equally distasteful, I mean really who follows a religion whose founder said that "The way to make a million dollars is to start a religion." But their right to speak things I dislike is directly related to my right to speak out if I see injustice in the world around me, my right to speak about my own religion (Christianity) and my right not to be oppressed because of my views.

        Wikileaks I do not support, and businesses which do not wish to be associated with it have a right to not do business with it. That is one of many ways society can show that it does not approve of something a person/organisation is doing. Attempting to affect the way businesses which refuse to do business with wikileaks do business with others via DDOS is a crime and should not be taken part in no matter how righteous the actors feel their cause is.

    3. DrXym
      Alien

      Scientology is all front groups

      As a general rule, any semi-official sounding organisation which says anything remotely positive about scientology is a front group.

      I recall walking past an anti-drugs event that Dublin City council foolishly permitted at the top of Grafton Street a few years back. A jazz band was playing in front an impressive wall of "sponsors". Virtually every single "sponsor" was just a scientology front organisation. CCHR, Narconon etc.

      The alien is for Xenu, possibly the most laughably awful cult "secret" ever.

    4. Giles Jones Gold badge

      Adverts

      I saw an advert for Scientology on Google Ads. Rather annoying to say the least.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I liked the way they they stood up against Scientology

    But their recent action shot themselves in the foot.

    1. Alien Doctor 1.1

      So...

      no more standing up to anything then?

      1. Steven 33
        Alert

        I dont believe...

        I dont believe that was the intended message of the previous anon poster... I believe they meant that the Anonymous vs. CoS battle was done online, in person and politically... whereas this thing with wikileaks seems to analog to a "Cyber vigilante" where they are not neccessarrily covering all of their bases, and in essence are creating a bad name for themselves...

        1. Alien Doctor 1.1

          Next time...

          I'll think extra hard about adding the "joke" icon.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re

      Luckily when Anon's foot is shot, another leg grows to replace it.

  4. jake Silver badge

    I wonder if either "side" in this story ...

    ... is capable of taking two steps back & realizing what a bunch of clowns they are from the RealWorld[tm]'s perspective. You just can't buy this kind of entertainment.

    Carry on, all! :-)

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lol

    Lol this guy is going to be wishing he never wrote the statement. When the /b guys see this theres no prizes for guessing who the next target is going to be for their LOIC's etc.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      LOIC?

      No point.

      This calls for passing out literature to newly recruited Scilons, doxing extant ones and other such lulzy stuff. LOIC isn't going to make the Scilons afraid. Showing thier cult members exactly how bad a cult they've gotten into it, on the other hand, a good way to strike back.

      Deplete thier base of new recruits and you deplete the number of fresh "cumps" who can be connec into giving everything they own to the cult. The best way to hurt these people is in the wallet: after all, it's all they care about.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    mmm.....

    So who paid David Miscavige to declare that!

    Visa, Paypal or Mastercard?

  7. raivn
    Stop

    Really?

    All Dave has managed to achieve with this is to admit that anonymous were a serious enough problem to celebrate the attacks ending. He then paints a giant bulls-eye on his face, and shouts 'bring it on'.

    I think Anonymous was right to switch targets to bring attention to the more current and pressing issue of international freedoms in light of recent events. I can only assume Dave wants more publicity for his cult now that Anonymous is more in the public eye.

    1. Elmer Phud

      No-one noticed?

      I reckon you've got it spot on. The pyramid-selling scam known as Scientology relies/thrives on publicity. If no-one pays attention they feel 'ronerey, so ronerey'.

      He wants them to come back and have a go so he can feel like he's wanted, like he is 'important' as being 'important' seems to be one of the things that keeps a bunch of cults together.

      When no-one worships a god it simply dies off.

    2. DeanFox

      Anonymous does it all.

      Anonymous has not switched targets rather there are those who frequent Anonymous who decided they supported Wikileaks and Assanger and there are those who have just started frequenting Anonymous thanks to the publicity for the same reason; drawn to Anonymous by the promise of some serious Net hacktavist activities, plus LULZ and CAEK.

      Anonymous forums still cover the cult of scientology and as far as I can tell the campaigns will still continue until everyone is the world is educated regarding the dangers of the church of scientology. Not all Anonymous care about Wikileaks and Assanger, not all those who care about Wikileaks and Assanger care about the church of scientology - but at least both sides are aware and generally stay out if each others way.

      That's the thing with Anonymous it can do it all.

      1. MeRp

        the...

        CAEK is a lie...

  8. Smallbrainfield

    Talk like this usually precedes a DDOS courtesy of Anonymous.

    He's shot himself in the foot there, really.

    1. hplasm
      Pirate

      David later replied-

      "I - .kgS&£)dsa

      *No Carrier*

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    David miscarriage?

    sorry...working lunch ;-)

    anon for a bloody good reason... the b*****ds live just up the road from me in E Grinstead

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Alien

      we know who you are

      and how long you lie in bed awake

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    > But their recent action shot themselves in the foot.

    Anonymous aren't really a cohesive enough group to have a collective foot.

    The manifesto of Anonymous only ever extends as far as the most recent amusing idea someone has thought of.

    1. Zippy the Pinhead
      WTF?

      really.. a title is needed

      "Anonymous aren't really a cohesive enough group to have a collective foot."

      Would a collective foot be feet?

  11. Galidron

    Patriots?

    "patriot hackers opposed to Anonymous' support of WikiLeaks"

    I don't think I would call them patriots, though I suspect that is what they believe themselves to be. I think nationalists would be more accurate.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      re: Patriots?

      "I think nationalists would be more accurate." Not even that - just people who fall for whatever spin the Illuminati (or Lizard People or whoever) put on their latest scheme to extract wealth and power from the system. Prawns in the game, the lot of them.

  12. mafoo
    Pint

    publicity

    Free publicity if anonymous DDoS their website again, and maybe even some sympathy from wikileaks hating americans.

    Pretty sly move if you ask me.

    1. Irk
      Alien

      Scientology's main tactic is playing the victim.

      To be honest, Miscavige and the CoS are jumping on the news of the arrests so hard because they tried to prosecute Anons so much when the protests were really big news (not that they ever stopped since, but the police are used to Anonymous protests now and rarely believe CoS orgs anymore when ridiculous claims are made of misbehavior from Chanology protesters.) They always craved arrests and prosecutions of Anonymous (and wanted to find a leader and swore that Anonymous was part of the great conspiracy against the CoS) because the CoS's other main tactic is using their coffers to fund outrageous litigation against all who oppose them. It's the big reason Chanology was so successful, really - the CoS doesn't have enough money to fund THAT MANY LAWSUITS.

      So now they just stand back and claim a victory that isn't theirs and has nothing to do with their cause at all, which is par for the course with them.

      Icon because hail Xenu!

  13. TeeCee Gold badge
    Happy

    This is handy.

    I'll bookmark this article. That way if any of my non-native English speaking colleagues ever asks me for a definition of "he's a sucker for punishment", I can just send 'em the link.

  14. ratfox

    Well, if he believes it...

    Then Shirley, all scientologists also do. He gets to decide what they believe, after all. It is not like the real world has any meaning for these people.

  15. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    FAIL

    "Having run into the Church of Scientology they are no longer laughing out loud or otherwise."

    Possibly because they foolishly availed themselves to a L. Ron Hubbard Omnibus Hardback before leaving again.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Possibly very true

      I read an LRH book once, some sci-fi twaddle (as opposed to sci-fi genius, Greg Bear, etc). Was like it had been written by a 12-year old.

      Shit book. Shit writer.

      Anonymous as an homage ;o)

      1. laird cummings
        Big Brother

        Crap ship-driver, too

        The H-Man depth charged the living hell out of a rock, then opened fire on a suspicious-looking Mexican resort island.

        For this, he's accounted as a "war hero" within the ranks of the deceived.

        1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

          Agreed

          Someone should make a film about Elron's naval career - It would make McHales Navy look like Das Boot.

          1. DrXym

            Read this website

            http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Cowen/warhero/

            If you believed the Scientology blurb he would be one of the most highly decorated officers in the Navy, with aircraft carriers named after him. As it was he was absolute failure as a naval officer, completely unfit for command with a dismal record that included almost starting a war with Mexico.

      2. Tom 35
        Thumb Down

        I read Battlefield Earth years ago...

        When it first came out in paperback. Mediocre at best (but it sure was big, kind of like puffed rice).

        Not long after that I got tossed out of a scientology office for not taking it seriously (and quoting Mary Poppins) . Went in for the free I.Q. / Personality / Stress test, and when it came to the part where they want you to self diagnose your problems (they have a course for that, and another, and another) I said I was practically perfect in every way. They didn't seem to like that :)

  16. maclovinz

    These effing people

    Just don't know WHEN to STFU!

  17. L1feless

    Visa, Mastercard Paypal

    The comment by AC @13:33 was a well worded explanation one which I do to a certain extent agree with. The governments involved here should be appalled. There are only a handful of organizations in the credit card processing space and only two with the market share which Visa and Mastercard have (To my knowledge). If anything these organizations need to be regulated so they cannot just stop providing their services unless certain conditions are met. I would say that one of those conditions would be that the organization which is being funded by their processing is deemed a criminal organization in a court of law.

  18. sipilwani sam

    Scientology sock-puppets

    Scientology's Office of Special Affairs having multiple sock-puppets on every social networking site and places like Amazon is as much of a win as any of the "wins" in Scientology are.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Really...

    HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH...

  20. John G Imrie

    denizens

    He actually used the word denizens?

    I've only ever seen that in SiFi and Fantasy writings.

    Oh, sorry, we are talking about Scientologists, my bad.

    As you where then.

    1. Captain TickTock
      Coat

      denizens

      Would that be citizens of a den?

  21. Lu 1
    Thumb Down

    Dox or GTFO

    Did you forget to title this "satire"???

  22. DS 1

    Cult

    Tis an evil cult. Its time that such things really were driven with a stake. There is no place in the modern world for such garbage, nor for it to be allowed to gain any damn footing.

    1. Kay Burley ate my hamster
      Megaphone

      Not only but also...

      Not only a CULT, but also a registered company. Along with some distinctly dodgy sounding stuff.

      http://wck2.companieshouse.gov.uk/bc500948145e5f23ee57ae13e3ca83de/companysearch?disp=1&frfsh=1292845886#result

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