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back to article Police get ready for body parts audit

UK police forces are steeling themselves for an audit of body parts. The grim task will enable forces to take stock of the parts collected as evidence over the years and release to relatives those parts no longer needed for legal purposes. The need arises first and foremost because body parts form are also evidence at a crime …

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  1. Wize

    The title is too long.

    "In some instances the original owner of a hand or leg may still be around to lay claim to the detached limb..."

    Did they impound such limbs before the hospital tried to re-attach it.

    Doubt I'd want my frozen appendage back after missing it for so many years. What are you supposed to do with it anyway? Pickle it in vinegar? Feed it to the dog? Sell it on ebay to cannibals? Keep it in the freezer till you pop your clogs (or just clog if its a leg) and get everything buried at once?

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  2. TeeCee Gold badge
    Joke

    "...two feet were in no way connected to a third foot..."

    Well of course not, this is Humberside police we're talking about. If they had three connected feet, they'd be the Yard........

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    1. Bilgepipe
      Reply Icon
      Thumb Up

      I Loled

      Best post ever.

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    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Happy

      You are one sick puppy

      Nicely done.

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  3. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Jake the Peg

    "They were, however, keen to reassure the public that these two feet were in no way connected to a third foot recently been found on their patch"

    Rolf Harris is still OK then.

    I apologise if you've now got that song firmly lodged in your head.

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  4. Anonymous Coward
    Megaphone

    At least...

    credit the News Quiz with that Bootnote...

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  5. Rhubarb
    Alert

    Ooer

    Won't this cost the tax payer an arm and a leg?!

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  6. Graham Marsden
    WTF?

    "the original owner of a hand or leg...

    "...may still be around to lay claim to the detached limb"

    Why FFS? As a memento???

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  7. ravenviz Silver badge
    Joke

    You have to hand it to them

    Their auditing skills will be head and shoulders above other countries' forces, forearmed with such knowledge, it will be no mean feet to (er, that's enough),

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  8. Anonymous John
    Joke

    "Case dismissed.

    The police don't have a leg to stand on."

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  9. Liam Johnson

    Police

    Will they have to get rid of their long arm too?

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  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good to see they're cleaning up, but...

    There's a certain logic to holding onto evidence, any kind of, until you're certain it won't needed any longer. Then again, it would be much better to not only have very clear rules but also be very clear and right quick about returning whatever was gathered, bodyparts or not, as soon as possible. That too is part of integrity and quality in police work.

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  11. Graham Bartlett

    I think this will be useful

    Or to put it another way, I'll go out on a limb and say it could be handy.

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  12. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    "...two feet were in no way connected to a third foot..."

    Well of course not, this is Humberside police we're talking about.

    If they had three connected feet,

    they'd be Manx......

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  13. John H Woods Silver badge

    what else ...

    ... do they have up their sleeves?

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  14. frank ly

    Auditing is Important

    I'm waiting for a 'joke' about them not knowing their arse from their elbow.

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  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Return to rightful owner

    Like lots of people arrested to show a "result" but not charged when the allegation is shown to be bollocks, can I have my DNA sample back then?

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