I wish...
...they'd all just fuck off. I mean really fuck right off. Bloody Daily Fail.
Emmerdale shoves jam rags in innocent kiddies' faces
The Daily Mail has worked itself up into a right tizz over last Friday's episode of ITV1 soap Emmerdale, in which a chalked shopping list was seen to contain the items "jam rags" and "pile cream". The offending shopping list as seen in Emmerdale PA explains that the outrage was "visible during Friday's episode as a drunk …
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Tuesday 27th July 2010 15:59 GMT Marky W
To be fair to Daily Mail readers...
...almost all the highest rated commentards are along the lines of "get over it, it's actually quite funny"
<blinks>
<stares>
<mouth opens>
I never thought I'd EVER write a title like that and mean it. Must lie down and think about puppies and flowers for a bit. Yeah, that'll help.
<whimper>
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Tuesday 27th July 2010 15:48 GMT Anonymous Coward
Parenting
Erm... why can't the parents just say "I don't know" or "they just write anything on those lists" or make something up - I can't imagine the kids are ever likely to remember? Or, shock-horror, just tell them the truth and tell them it's not appropriate to say it in general use?
I thought dealing with "difficult" questions was part of being a parent?...
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Tuesday 27th July 2010 15:48 GMT Andy Watt
Ay oop
Who writes on chalkboards any more? Surely they're so frickin tech savvy in the woolpack now they're all making notes about the jam rags on their iPads?
It's the lack of _reality_ I really find offensive. I mean, honestly, it's supposed to be a soap, reflective of the real world, where real aircraft crash into small villages and wipe out half the population because things are getting boring and nobody's watching... <grumbles>
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Tuesday 27th July 2010 15:48 GMT Red Bren
Effing Hypocrites
"I was stunned when my son, who is only seven, turned around and asked me what a jam rag was."
As stunned as she was when her 7 year old started asking about infidelity, same-sex relationships, domestic violence or any other adult-themed staples of the genre?
"Jam Rag" can be explained away as a cloth for cleaning up spilled preserves. She should be proud her son could read.
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Wednesday 28th July 2010 09:02 GMT Geoff Campbell
Well, perhaps.
""Jam Rag" can be explained away as a cloth for cleaning up spilled preserves"
But I rather think a better response would be to explain that it's a colloquial and slightly derogatory term for a sanitary towel. Lying to children just to avoid a bit of short-term embarrassment is a) setting quite a bad precedent, and b) rather pointless, as you will always be found out, especially in these days of easy access to Google, which has now replaced the school playground as the fount of all seven-year-old knowledge.
GJC
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Wednesday 28th July 2010 09:40 GMT Marvin the Martian
Indeed.
Your kiddo will effortlessly pick up on your sudden flinch and hesitant, semi-coherent explanation, and then google for the actual meaning (and find far worse stuff all around, using that keyword!). So the truth is the simplest way out...
It's the same as it used to be, I could tell when my mom was lying --- but then there was no google (nor altavista), and running to your friends got you an even less probable (but more colourful) explanation.
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Tuesday 27th July 2010 15:55 GMT Richie Hindle
Vox pops
Is it just me, or are those unrelated quotes suspiciously similar?
"I couldn't believe my eyes" / "I was stunned"
"it's not the kind of language" / "It's not the kind of thing"
"my young son" / "my son, who is only seven"
"one of our oldest soaps" / "a programme like Emmerdale"
No, I'm sure it's just me.
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Tuesday 27th July 2010 15:55 GMT adrianww
If I knew...
...who had managed to sneak those on there, I'd buy them a pint. I'm prepared to bet that there were high-fives all round when that went to air.
As for the poor shrinking violets who are getting their knickers in such a twist over it, well, what can one say? FFS? Get a life? Aw, diddums, did da nasty man make rudey words in your poor ikkle eyesies?
There really are just too many human beings on this planet. I suggest that anyone who gets themselves into such a state of high dudgeon over "jam rags" (or, indeed, "pile cream" or anything similarly mild and inoffensive) should be assigned to the first batch to be culled when the fossil fuels and food really do start running out.
Hypersensitive eejits.
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Tuesday 27th July 2010 15:59 GMT Mike Bell
Give me an onion so I can shed a tear
It's not beyond the bounds of possibility that a similar shopping list in the home of a DM reporter might end with essential items "KY" and "Rent Boy".
Sadly, were such a list to be broadcast, it would likely go right over the heads of the Blue Rinse brigade.
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Tuesday 27th July 2010 16:00 GMT blackworx
Lolzorz
Daily Mail readers read the Daily Mail to get good and angry at whatever contrived injustice/moral transgression the Daily Mail chooses to feed them. Makes them feel superior.
I, on the other hand, sometimes read the Daily Mail to get good and angry at whatever Daily Mail readers are getting good and angry about. Makes me feel superior.
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Tuesday 27th July 2010 16:00 GMT I ain't Spartacus
So there I was making some jam...
Well it might have been marmalade actually, if I recall... Anyway it was for the next WI jumble sale, to go with my coconut macaroons. And I spilled some on the worktop. I was just popping to the shops to get some rich tea biccies anyway, so I jotted down a quick list to remind me to get some jam rags to wipe up the spilled marmalade with.
What, did you think I meant something else? Why you have a filthy mind young lady! You should be ashamed of yourself!
Oh, and if you haven't tried a strawberry-pile cream-cake you haven't lived. The recipe? Well you need a pound of fresh strawberries, piled on top of about 2 dozen butter scones, and a some whipped double cream to top it all off. Delicious!
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Tuesday 27th July 2010 16:00 GMT adrianww
To be fair...
...to the people commenting on the Daily Fail website, many of them seem to be seeing this as the fun and frolicsome thing that it undoubtedly is.
More importantly, someone on there has pointed out that the first letters of the first four items on the list spell out a naughty word.
I then noticed that the fifth item on the list was "Biscuits". Which follows on beautifully from the afore-mentioned naughty acrostic.
Then you get to the jam rags and pile cream.
Whoever came up with that shopping list is just going up and up in my estimation with each passing moment.
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
