Meh?
"It's for kids who cant be bothered to do things properly in "
No it's for web developers who recognise that sometimes a client wants a website set up quickly on a budget of less than £50,000. Round my way, .NET developers think they're worth upwards of £100,000 grand a year. They're not.
"Then realised it's horribly slow, "
Ah, you don't know how to code then.
"has GLARING holes like no support for longints on 32 bit "
If you want to talk integer size, then both Java and .NET fail miserably against the mighty python's unlimited integer size.
"without some serious hacking "
What, you mean installing an extension? Yeah, serious hacking that.
"and it's about as secure as windows ME."
Ah, you don't know how to code securely then, without lots and lots and lots of tools pointing out all your mistakes to you. Or perhaps you just don't know how to set up a webserver properly.
And you clearly haven't been paying attention to the news and all the .NET apps that have suddenly been found to be insecure.