Doner kebabs: Death wrapped in pitta bread

Yes Jade..

.. we *can* see your kebab.

man

Man I could do with a doner right now.

But f--- me some people don't half get paid for such useless and f------ obvious bulls--- and to imagine that the BBC is happy to p--- this obvious trash all over the news but their coverage of the extreme porn law was a 2 minute hand job for the government goons at 10pm.

Wankers.

Viva kebab

Hey, miseryguts. It is probably a good idea to have 100% of your daily salt allowance, especially if you've been out on the piss all day (which flushes your electrolytes). Why don't you stop at home sucking on a raw carrot watching X-factor and just leave us kebabtards alone, OK?

Where can i get a job like this?

"Wanted: Scentists to state the bleedin' obvious when talking about kebabs, Must keep straight face when banging on about how fatty they are and why anyone who has been on a "leo sayer" would care that kebabs are bad for you"

title

The BBC are asking if this report "would put you off eating a Doner Kebab".

My answer is "No, the look, smell and taste are enough to put me off"

this is a surprise.....?

This is a surprise how ? If you're well lubricated, just a guess, but you're not likely to be looking for the salad. It'll be Kebab, chips, curry or maybe a drunk attempt at a fry up. Let's face it, imbibing the demon drink drives to culinary nightmares bearing loads of saturated fats that would have the awful droning Gillian McKeith running for cover. Good. Long may she keep running, her and her little sandwich boxes of unholy stench.

Of course, if you're sober and tucking into such fare on a regular basis I would argue that it's time to learn to cook, and home made, healthier, less greasy and far tastier kebabs are definitely on my diet sheet. Or check out the terms of your life insurance. It's worth knowing who will benefit and by how much....

Kebabs - like bush tucker, you can live on it, but........Best not.

Labels?

>The study found a major issue with food labelling,

What sort of wuss buys a kebab with a label, let alone reads it?

women's daily requirements?

I wonder why are these numbers measured relative to women's daily requirements - whenever I think of someone going for a kebab, it's usually someone male.

Or maybe it's for shock value? Why not recalculate the numbers with children's daily requirements instead! Or a kitten's - that would make the numbers even bigger!

@Steve

I'd be quite happy to eat rabbit, hearts or liver. I hear rat is actually quite tasty, the only reason people don't usually eat it is that there's barely more than a mouthful of meat on it. I might draw the line at cat or dog though. I hear cat is greasy and unpalatable, making them an utterly pointless species.

Anyway, isn't the point of a kebab that it is the food your body craves after alocohol - lots of salt to replace lost electrolytes and lots of fat which gets emulsified by the alcohol still slushing about in your stomach, thus slowing its absorption into the gut. The fat also acts as an energy store for your liver to break down the alcohol in your bloodstream and related acids, esters and other compounds found in beer, wine, etc. This goes half way towards mitigating the hangover you'll have the next morning. The other half of the way is buying the second kebab to have for breakfast. Yum!

(Anon because I don't want to attract the attention of the animal rights loonies)

What exactly

did people think they were getting? FFS they could make them exclusively from lard and salt and I would still eat one. Can't wait for nanny's campaign on TV. Pissed? Hungry? desperate for a fag? ... don't order a fuck ton of lard !

value

>> It makes a difference where in the UK you buy your kebab, as the North West averaged over

>> 1,100 calories per kebab, while in Northern Ireland and London the figures were more modest at

>> 843 and 912 calories per kebab.

As they hadn't already stated be bleeding obvious enough, they had to go on and mention that you get better value for money in The North than you do in London.

What would have made this report interesting is if they had put some comparisons in this - e.g. how do the traffic lights compare to a typical (not the lite option) Italian meal or Indian meal (probably about the same IMHO), how does the small mammal content compare with a chinese takeaway, how do the traffic lights comare to a BK Triple Whopper, or a Tesco triple cheese and onion sandwich or a lamb/chicken shish kebab.

@Steve

But the kebab invented in by that chap was real chunks of meat pushed onto the skewer, roasted and carved off, most definitely not the horrid elephant's food thingy usually pushed. But since the real thing would cost a lot more than most consumers can afford after a night in the pub I guess the MI on a stick is here to stay.

is it not all a bit irrelevant...

Given that the vast majority of kebabs are discarded part-eaten at the nearest available paving stone, or are eaten then promptly thrown straight back up, does it really matter how many calories are in them?

It does explain the obesity epidemic in rats though, as well as why tramps are looking stockier these days.

manufacturers' labels

I know everyone is laughing at the idea of kebabs being labelled, but manufacturers do actually label the kebab meat. That's how the kebab house knows what type of meat it is. So if the labels don't reflect the contents then you potentially end up with Muslims inadvertently eating/handling pork or non-halal meat.

um so what if the ebab has high calories and fat etc

the fact that most people buying one will have drank several pints of beer (guess 10 over a 4 hour session @~200 calories a pint) they have already ingested twice that many calories anyway.

and the recovery advantage of the salad has not been taken into account

all that alcohol (and probabily drunken dancing) will cause you to loose a lot of water and salts which the salt, salad and chilli will help replace. the sugar and the fats will give you an energy boost to processes the alcohol you have consumed. the only thing missing as a hangover cure is fluids to replace that lost via the diuretic effects of the alcohol

and is there a comparison between donor kebabs and burgers as i would be interested to see what the difference is

i also though that most people realised that donor meat was a random assortment of just about anything and usually not describable as meat but more assorted animal bits and so what if it is until 40 years ago people regularly ate pigs ears, trotters, and trip its only in recent times that these foods have fallen at the way side

@Richard Cartledge : Calories

I was suspicious of that too, having observed the failure of my body to fully process sweetcorn on occasion, however, it seems that the calorie counts on food are corrected for dietary efficiency and the bomb calorimeter is only the starting point.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atwater_system

(Yes, wikipedia, so it's probably wrong.)

I notice that this is different to what we were taught at school.

Do teachers not know about this or are they deliberately going for the simple explanation through laziness?

98 per cent of daily salt and 148 per cent of daily saturated fat

Mmmm...saturated fat and salt. You're making me crave a kebab!

NO SHIT!?

And there was I thinking donnas were positively healthy!

How stupid am I? Duh!!!!

kebab with meat $0.50

Kebab with named meat $1

With apologies and thanks to Mr Pratchett

And where's the discworld icon?