back to article Facebook goes offline, shares stabilise at merely disastrous level

It's not just Facebook's share price that's been down in the dumps - the site itself fell off the interwebs for some users on Thursday. The dominant social network, which claims it's closing in on a billion regular users worldwide, has coughed to a few outage wobbles. "Yesterday, some users briefly experienced issues loading …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Some Facebookers said they were unable to access the website for up to two hours"....and nearly died!

    The thought of not being able to proclaim, to those bothered enough to care about them about their sad pathetic small lives, caused heart palpitations.

    1 Billion Tragic people, all with the same poor excuse “I only have it to keep in touch with family”

    And most of them iPhone owners.

    1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

      "Some Facebookers said they were unable to access the website for up to two hours"

      Sounds like an improvement to me, can the unavailability be extended...

      to lets say...

      24 hours....

      every day

      1. Asgard
        Windows

        @"Some Facebookers said they were unable to access the website for up to two hours"

        I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced ... Well it was a good dream while it lasted!

    2. fuego
      Trollface

      Re: Obviously!

      Trolly troll troll

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Obviously!

        W O W, sharp as a tack you, eh? Did, you read my comment below?

        NO!

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I'd not have believed it if I hadn't seen it!

      In a customers office, two employees had to be taken to one side and read the riot act... Why?

      These ladies spent an hour trying to log on to Facebook ( I assumed this is what it was ) panicking that they could not contact their friends, they complained the company computers were at fault.

      The manager explained to them that they were here to work and not surf the web to which one replied, 'what about my human rights then' to which he replied ********* .

      Suitably admonished, they sat down when a third shouted, 'it's on again!'

      What kind of World do we live in?

    4. Anonymous Cowerd
      Meh

      re: iPhone

      I've got one of those (and am not a fanboi), but when the web is fucked it's fucked for everybody, regardless of platform.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    Hehehehe, sad but true.

  3. DAN*tastik
    WTF?

    Apologies not necessary

    "We apologise for any inconvenience". Last time I cheched, there were many other ways to get hold of pictures of cats. Unless you mean having to individually text your friends what you are having for breakfast so they don't miss out.

    1. Greg J Preece
      Thumb Up

      Re: Apologies not necessary

      http://www.icanhascheezburger.com

      Aw, no Nyan Cat icon.

  4. Yet Another Commentard

    Tipping

    I tend not to tip on the bill, but give folding stuff to the guy/girl who served me. Mr Z may have done the same and the waiter(ess) not said anything.

    The reason for this is simple - in Pizza Express the other month I asked the girl what happens to tips on the bill, she told me they were subject to a 30% "handling fee" on behalf of her employer, then split amongst all staff. Now, the latter is good, the guys in the kitchen never get a cash tip, the former poor and rampant exploitation (assuming she was telling the truth).

    Also - it's a gratuity, not giving one is not illegal. If you want more add it to the price of a meal and pay your staff a decent amount.

    Now I am going to have a shower having seemingly defended that man. I feel dirty.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Tipping

      "in Pizza Express the other month I asked the girl what happens to tips on the bill, she told me they were subject to a 30% "handling fee" on behalf of her employer, then split amongst all staff."

      well she was lying to get more cash for herself ... pretty sure they explain the system (in small print admittedly) on the menu plus on their website. They take 8% as "admin fee" then the remainder is split 70% to your waiter and 30% to the kitchen team. So as far as she is concerned she loses 30% of card tips but personally I'm more than happy that a part of the tip goes to the people who actually put your food together!

      Problem I find with PizzaExpress nowadays is that you can never tell if the restaurant/waiter that particular day is going to offer the option of adding tip during the credit card PIN process or not with the result when I find I've not been offered the option to add it to the card bill that I then have to see if I've got sufficient change and/or £5 note to leave something that doesn't look like a calculated insult.

      N.b as for part of tip going to kitchen staff ... perhaps with cash tips we should specify how it is to be divided. I remember when living in the US reading an article on tipping where one woman described how at the hair salon she had handed over a list with her payment and tip detailing who got what - main tip went to actual stylist but there were one ot two dollars for each of the receptionist, person who brought the cup of coffee, girl who did the wash and rinse etc etc.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Tipping

        Math police: she actually loses 35.6% if they split the remainder after taking 8%.

        1. pPPPP

          Re: Tipping

          Actually, if the tip is on the bill, it is considered a service charge and hence is subject to VAT at the standard rate. If you tip a waiter in cash it's considered a gratuity and is tax free.

    2. jai

      Re: Tipping

      Mr Pink, is that you?

    3. Andrew Moore

      Re: Tipping

      Tipping is a lot less 'rabid' outside of the US. In some countries (Japan) its even seen to be rude. Anyway, not leaving a tip in Rome is less likely to have you followed out the door by a wide-eyed ranting waitron than say downtown New York.

    4. Lee Dowling Silver badge

      Re: Tipping

      Maybe the service/food was just rubbish and he didn't want to have a confrontation in a foreign country in a foreign language?

      Maybe the waiter was inept even if the food was brilliant and he didn't want to reward one example of inept service?

      Maybe he just didn't have any more change?

      Maybe he disagrees with the concept of tipping entirely?

      Maybe he's just a tight-wad?

      Who cares? Daily Mail trash to try to make him an enemy because he's rich and didn't tip. So what?

      I tip when you do something for me beyond what I expect. Either you provide miraculous service, or you cope with a mistake / extreme busy times REALLY well, or the food is more wonderful than I expect, or even you're always open when other places are shut. Then I tip. Otherwise, you need to negotiate more pay with your employer yourself, not hope I'll stick 10% on the billed price. And even then, if I have no change, I don't want to faff about with notes, change, coinage, etc. to tell you that I want to give you a tip. I have a thing where I see it as impolite to let people KNOW I'm leaving a tip. It should be a surprise, a bonus, something unexpected. I don't even expect you to be grateful (or care if you are / are not) because I'm gone by the time you see what I've left (even if that's nothing).

      A guaranteed way to LOSE a tip is to a) ask for one, b) include it on my bill automatically without consultation, c) express your expectation that I should give one (e.g. bellboys holding out their hand). I will instantly not give you any tip I was going to, for those. Did any of those happen?

      My favourite gastro-pub (The Fishery in Elstree) provide wonderful service, even when busy. They are fabulously polite and attentive. The food is wonderful. They are open almost all day long. They make a BIG fuss when something goes wrong and work their nuts off to rectify it (down to almost-hounding the member of staff responsible quietly in a back room to check they've done every stage of everything else timely, so you can have no further reason to complain even if you wanted to). And whenever you pay by card they literally tell EVERY customer "just press Enter" when the device flashes up a message about if you want to add a gratuity (Enter skips adding one!). They don't dive on the table the second you leave scouring for your tip, or anything else to indicate that they expect one (I mean, they probably do half-expect one, but they absolutely do not show it and aren't offended if you don't - which I have done when I've not had the change to do it, but my regular custom more than makes up for it).

      The pizza-delivery service near me that ALWAYS delivers a good pizza, hot, on-time, and without fuss get a tip almost every time they come to the door. Because they obviously care about keeping me as a customer and do an above-expectations job even on a very busy Friday night. The woman who was renting out a cottage in Cornwall to me and stayed open past 11pm especially for me to arrive? I tipped her on the final bill purely because she went above-and-beyond.

      A tip is optional. Most people leave it for "not bad" service. I leave it for above-expectations service (considered long-term so a regular haunt like The Fishery usually see tips because of the way they can MAINTAIN that high level, rather than tips dipping over time because I *expect* it all the time I go in there, but even there I would leave no tip if there were bad service - I would expect it to be an indicator of just how good my service was that night). I have no problem asking people to remove service charges from the bill, or not leaving one at all.

      Other people's financial considerations do not affect my payment for a meal, so that the waitress is poor or doesn't earn much or has to share tips doesn't factor in - I don't tip my airline pilots or stewardess or newsagent or the guy in the ticket office so why should I tip anyone else for just doing their job?

      But when/if someone does something particularly special (even if that's just an exceptional display of good service), sure, I tip and don't mess about calculating percentages (how rude and thoughtless), I just keep rounding up until it seems enough.

      Even if I was a billionaire, the same principle would apply. Exceed expectations, get something equally as unexpected. Do your job and provide the service as anyone else could? Well done (that's all).

      1. Simon Harris

        Re: Tipping

        "A guaranteed way to LOSE a tip is to a) ask for one, b) include it on my bill automatically without consultation, c) express your expectation that I should give one (e.g. bellboys holding out their hand)."

        or...

        d) if I don't have the exact money as calculated from the menu prices, just assume any excess is the tip without first offering to give me back my change (yes, Mr Pizza Delivery Boy, that does mean you!).

  5. a well wisher

    No tip ?

    Good for him

    Restaurant staff should be paid properly for the job, owners shouldn't expect diners to be 'shamed' into leaving a tip - no matter how many billions in the bank

    Horrible american practice, that we in Europe need less of not more

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: No tip ?

      "Horrible american practice, that we in Europe need less of not more"

      Read "Down and Out in Paris and London" ... its a French practice where in restaurants the people in the kitchen who prepared the food were paid but the waiting staff were expected to generate most (and in case of Maitre'd all) of their income from tips.

      1. Nev

        Re: No tip ?

        Years ago, maybe.

        But bar tending and waiting are seen as professional jobs and have proportionate wages.

        You'll see "Service-Compris" on the bill.

        Only tourists tip twice.

  6. atomic jam
    Pint

    Facebook offline, that means...

    It's the end of the world so sell off your children, put down your pets and take that suicide pill you keep in shirt pocket .

    Beer! It's Friday!

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In the UK, a tip paid by card along with the bill belongs to the company, they do not have to distribute it to staff, in fact many include a "notional payment" paid as part of the staffs' normal wage, even when the wage is paid at minimum rate (ie they use tips to top up their wages to staff and therefore avoid paying minimum wage). Paying your tips in cash is the best, but not guaranteed, way to get the cash into the staffs hands.

  8. Big_Ted
    Thumb Down

    I wonder

    how many of the Billion they are hopping to hit are like me and just use it to like for vouchers and freebies.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hopping

      The facebook users are all jumping up and down on one leg?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I don't know about you

    but I even tip the staff in all McDonald's restaurants.

    1. Annihilator
      Paris Hilton

      Re: I don't know about you

      What, the old "yellow snow" jape?

    2. Joe Harrison

      Re: I don't know about you

      That's the spirit tip everyone. Tip the people who reply to your forum posts, hint hint.

      1. h4rm0ny

        Re: I don't know about you

        No problem. Just post us your bank details. I want to give you £2 right now!

  10. Conrad Longmore
    FAIL

    Money back

    The users had better asks for their money back.. oh, wait.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Money back

      That's right - the advertisers should ask for a pro-rata refund for the down-time when the product was not available to watch the ads.

  11. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
    Unhappy

    And they call the mafia criminals??????

    Sooooo....... according to the Reuters article "Options volume skyrocketed with bets ranging from a sharp rebound to a sustained selloff"

    The speculation continues, it is no coincidence that this happening 14 days after the IPO, all those bloodsuckers traders that shorted FarceBook in the market will have completed their trades, and thrown away any naked short sells that didn't make money. Now that some of the bloodsuckers traders have a stock position on FarceBook stock, they are now trying to talk up the stock so that they can now sell the stock to suck more wealth out of the financial systems.

    Morgan Stanley sitting on FarceBooks' reduced growth until the last minute of the IPO, Goldman Sachs shorting its own products in the market, JPMorgan Chase concealing a $2 billion loss on one of their hedge funds for a month.

    The make the mafia look like the Girl Guides.

    A pox on all their houses.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon

      Re: And they call the mafia criminals??????

      "all those bloodsuckers traders that shorted FarceBook in the market"

      you can't short a stick within 30 days of its IPO.

      1. Sir Runcible Spoon

        Re: And they call the mafia criminals??????

        hahaha, of course I meant 'stock' - although someone is getting the short end of a stick too I suppose.

      2. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
        Headmaster

        Re: And they call the mafia criminals??????

        Sir,

        you can't short a stock within 30 days of its IPO.

        Yes you can, it's only the underwriters of an IPO that can't engage in short selling for 30 days after the IPO.

        Stocks aren't marginable within 30 days of their IPO either i.e. you can't use then as security against a potential margin call as the Fed and brokers consider then too risky an investment. Funny that, brokers have rules that protect themselves but not the investor.

        There are plenty of ways to short trade a stock with out ever having to borrow the stock, contracts for difference is one that comes to mind

    2. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      FAIL

      Re: And they call the mafia criminals??????

      > The speculation continues

      Only deranged progressives care. It's called risky business.

      Of course, here, it's fuelled by freshly generated money splurging out of banks, central and otherwise, so you may indirectly lose your shirt. Call your elected representative for complaints.

  12. Andrew Moore

    hmmmm......

    > newly public company's stock was lifted in late trading by a US market ricochet and a brokerage upgrade

    I think this is known as a 'Dead Cat Bounce'

  13. Fred Flintstone Gold badge
    Coat

    So, can we thus say..

    .. that both Mark Zuckerberg and the shares presently go down a lot?

    The one with the copy, of Viz, thanks..

  14. schubb
    FAIL

    Record?

    "Facebook's share price hit $26.83, a record low for the company" Today is the two week mark...kind of like my son (was 6 at the time) talking about how things were "when he was a little kid."

    They don't have a record yet...they have an opening. As bad as the reporting along the lines of "The largest drop since 2009." for whatever doom and gloom is the news du jour.

    1. Richard 12 Silver badge

      Re: Record?

      They have been privately traded for a long time, that's what set the IPO price.

      And yes, it's a record low as far back as I can be bothered to check (2010)

  15. tkioz

    I'm amused... did anyone actually expect Facebook to be worth the massive amount of cash they were claiming?

  16. Stefing
    Devil

    Meanwhile

    Facebook seems to be having one of its periodic purges, removing people altogether until they meet Facebook's demand for ID - what, so Facebook is a government agency now (although I've always had my suspicions...)

  17. Zombie Womble

    "...shares stabilise at merely disastrous level"

    Hardly, they plummeted soon after opening yesterday only to rise again shortly before close.

    It appears to me that there are some very wealthy groups playing with facebook shares like a cat with a terrified and defenceless mouse.

  18. Michael Habel
    FAIL

    Don't know if it's related, but I can't login from my Smartphone App. even though I could successfully login from the Browser (on said Smartphone).

    Makes me wonder if the rumors of imminent shutdown are more true then we are led to believe.

    Although it's kinda cool to have the ability to stay in contact with those from a by-gone era.

    But, there is no money to be made here, save for the Facebook type Games, which I could care less for.

    And when you have Govenments (like yours i.e. Last years Riots), expressing such desires to curb or indeed to pull the reigns on Social Media. You'd have to be totally slightly less bonkers to dump your Money in Spain or Greece, then in Facebook Stock.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    SHARES

    OMG I GOT A PAYDAY LOAN TO BYE SOME SHARES IN FACEBOOK AFTER ALL MY MATES TOLD ME IT WOULD BE LIKE GOOGLES IN HALF THE TIME NOT ONLY THAT I HAD HOLIDAY MONEY SAFED UP WHICH I SPENT AN ALSO SOLD MY DAUGHTERS XBOX YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW SHE FELLS ABOUT IT NOW I HAVE LOST LOADS AND THINK PEOPLE LIKE ME SHOULD DEMAND A.N.S.W.E.R.S

    1. DaveyG
      FAIL

      Re: SHARES

      The answer is people like you shouldn't buy shares, you would have more chance of making money at a bookmakers or at a casino. Facebook shares are going to crash and burn unless they start making money which currently is unlikely.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Megaphone

    Skinflints galore!

    One thing that the US has in spades that we hardly have anywhere here is good service - I actually mean great service as that's how it appears to us poor Brits when we are given it.

    Now what differentiates us?

    Let's put it another way - you give a public facing role to someone, you pay them a set wage and leave them to get on with it - exactly what incentive is there for that person to be friendly, polite, considerate, etc. etc.

    So my philosophy is to tip 10% unless the service is poor.

    And if I was a waiter, and Lee Dowling came into my restaurant - I'd very probably pee in his soup ;)

    1. OrsonX
      Happy

      You all Have A Nice Day Now

      fuck off

  21. Beelzeebub
    Flame

    The biggest insult

    inflicted on all the sad people of our planet. I hope the shares tank to 0.001 of their current value, the company will close and all those sad users will have more time on their hands to be productive.

    Oh wait, that could be worse than using FB itself....

  22. OrsonX
    Facepalm

    "The value of your investment can go down as well as up"

    oh no! the value of my investment has gone down....

    ...starts class action lawsuit.

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